//------------------------------//
// Self-referral 
// Story: Confessions of an Elder God 
// by TheTobacconist 
//------------------------------//

        "And then she just left," Fluttershy ended her story, "Twilight, do you think I'm going crazy?"
"No, this stuff happens all the time when I deal with Pinkie," Twilight sipped her tea, "I've been trying to figure it out for a while now, but I just can't wrap my head around it."
"I also noticed that, uhm," Fluttershy shifted in her chair, "Rainbow Dash loses track of time around Pinkie too."
"Yeah, but that's Rainbow Dash," Twilight explained, "She probably just takes suffers from narcolepsy."
"I still say we need to sit her down and have a chat with her," Rarity commented, "And it might be best if we keep snacks around. The poor girl can't think straight when she's hungry."
They were interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Come in," Twilight called.
"Really, darling," Rarity walked to the door, "That's not how you treat a visitor. You should open the door like a civilized pony-" She opened the door to let in Doctor Whooves-"Offer to take their coat if they have one-" She took the Doctor's coat-"And invite them to make themselves at home... and I suppose if they look mad you should either see them to the door or inquire as to any problems they might be having."
The Doctor was covered head to toe in black marks that had previously been hidden by his tan overcoat.
"Are you quite all right?" Rarity asked.
"I seem to be having some issues tracking down a reality bending pony," The Doctor answered, "I was hoping to get a little help."
"Of course, darling," Rarity leaned over to Twilight and whispered, "I'll distract him, you get a message to the hospital."
"Actually, Rarity," Twilight whispered, "I think he's talking about Pinkie Pie."
The Doctor walked around waving his sonic screwdriver against the walls. He knocked on them occasionally, and muttered to himself. 
"And  he might be a little crazy," Twilight admitted, "But when I saw him earlier he seemed perfectly fine."
"No," The Doctor commented, "This is my first time meeting you, but it might not be your first time meeting me. It's complicated."
"What?" Twilight nearly yelled, "You invited me out on a date, and you completely forgot about it?"
"No, no, no, no, no. No," The Doctor started moving his screwdriver across the bookshelves, "It just hasn't happened yet for me."
Rarity handed a letter to Spike and whispered to him. He nodded and set it alight with his green flame.
"Has your home always had a resonance of Elder God?" Doctor Whooves asked.
"What? No!" Twilight yelled, "I mean I don't know. I suppose it could?"
"Of course," The Doctor placed the sonic screwdriver into the Galifreyan pocket hidden in his collar, "Have any friends of yours been acting odd lately?"
"No. Yes," Twilight shook her head, "I mean not any odder than usual."
"I take it you mean one friend in particular," The Doctor watched Twilight's reaction and smiled to himself, "I bloody love being brilliant."
Rarity nodded casually, wrote the word 'hurry' across a piece of paper and handed it to Spike.
"He's not really that brilliant," An echoing voice came from somewhere in the kitchen, "He's just really old, so I guess he's wise, but not in a way that makes any sense. Which I guess Discord would like. Hey, mister, have you met Discord, he's really fun."
The group looked around the kitchen but saw no one else. In their silence they heard a crunching noise coming from the cookie jar on the counter. The Doctor walked to it and lifted the lid.
"Hi," Pinkie Pie thrust her head out and sprayed everyone with crumbs as she spoke, "What's up?"
"Pinkie!" Twilight yelled, "What are you doing in there?"
"I'm eating," Pinkie popped her head back in and emerged with a cookie, "Because Rarity said that I can't think straight when I'm hungry,-" She gobbled up the cookie- "and I need to be at my best if I'm going to be able to pull this off."
"Pull off what?" The Doctor asked.
"This!" Pinkie yelled and tapped him on the head, "Time out!"
He froze in place. Pinkie jumped out of the cookie jar and threw him on her back. She ran out the door and into a blue box.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked.
Rarity sighed, "I don't rightly know anymore. I need my fainting couch."
Pinkie ran her forehoof across the sleek controls of the Tardis, "Hi. It's been a while."
She looked to the Doctor and tapped him on the forehead again. He blinked a few times and looked around.
"Sexy," The Doctor yelled at the control panel, "Why would you let her in here?"
"Because she has an amazing sense of humor," Pinkie Pie answered, "Unlike someponies I know."
Pinkie Pie threw a lever.
"What are you doing?" The Doctor yelled.
"I'm going back in time," Pinkie Pie threw more switches, "Duh."
"Do you even have any idea how to use the control panel!" He fumed.
"Nope," Pinkie Pie beat on the console with a hammer, "And that's why this is going to work."
"What!" The Doctor took the hammer from her, and began beating the control panel in the proper way and muttered, "Amateur."
"I'm going to make this work the only way I know how," Pinkie answered, "By being funny."
"What are you trying to do?" The Doctor asked.
"Oh, not much really," Pinkie answered, "I'm just going to convince an Elder God to change the very fabric of reality to suit my desires."
She opened the door and hopped out into the void, "See you around!"
She rushed through the void in a large fanboat. She gazed into infinity and saw what she was looking for. It was a hideous large thing, made of mouths, teeth and tendrils.
"Hi, Pinkie," Pinkie Pie stopped just short of it.
"This is not my name," The thing coughed up an eye and placed it on a tendril to see her, "I am nothing, and never have been anything."
"That's a really sad way of thinking," Pinkie Pie patted it, "I should know because I used to think the exact same way for a long time."
"Yes," The god swallowed its eye, "Then you are me and I am you. But this is against the law. Multiple iterations of the same creature should never come into contact. You have risked much in doing this. What is your purpose?"
"Oh, that's easy," Pinkie answered, "I want to be a pony."
"You ask for something you already have," The god rumbled, "And if you do not truly have it, then how could I grant it?"
"I'm just you in few million years, but a lot changed," Pinkie Pie admitted, "I learned about humor. I don't really know how though. I think it involved a cheese wedge, I'm not really sure. But after I discovered humor I locked myself in a physical body, so that I could have fun and friends and mildly inappropriate adventures that happen off-screen."
"And so you can not achieve your desires," The god laughed, "That is quite humorous, by chasing after your desires of the moment you lost the ability to achieve your current dream."
"So," Pinkie Pie sat on a tendril, "How about it Big Girl? I've already got my parents picked out. I think they would help me keep well grounded."
The Elder Gods smiled, and Pinkie disappeared from that frame of reference.
"Heh," It chuckled, "Cheese wedge.So random."
Millions of years in the future, but still some years behind the present a pink filly was working hard to rotate the rocks from the south field to the east field.
"Huh," She muttered to herself, "This actually kind of sucks."
She fell backwards as a blue box wooshed into existence in front of her. A pony covered in black marks opened the door and waved his sonic screwdriver in front of her face.
"Well," He shrugged, "I guess it wasn't you."
He shut the door and wooshed out of that frame of reference.
"Who was that?" Pinkie Pie asked.