• Member Since 11th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 24th, 2016

RainbowJack2000


To say I am a bitch would be an understatement, trust me.

Sequels1

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When Rainbow Dash invites her friends over for a slumber party, things start out great. Truth or Dare, eventually starts out as their first game, but even the smallest dares can turn into something disastrous and uncalled for...

Little AppleDash/ Soarin Dash except the AppleDash is not romantic...Okay, not too romantic. more like blushing, staring, and gawking (coughcoughsexualthemesincludedcoughcough) at each other. Soarin Dash is a different story...

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 206 )

Hmm, this story seems interesting. I shall favorite it, like a sir!

Well, it looks like this might be an interesting story-

*sees gore tag*

mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_12_2011/post-872-0-00345000-1325189766.gif

you still owe me a reward for riding you home yesterday.

Umm... :rainbowlaugh:

"A slumber party! Eeeeek! I'm never been to one of those!" Twilight squealed.

"I wonder why," Rainbow said. Applejack elbowed her in the gut.

"A s-s-slumber party? Uh...I don't know, guys. Y-you know how m-much I hate social g-gatherings!" Fluttershy stuttered.

I quote stories too much... Oh well. This story is perf.

IM. SO. HUNGRY!! literally, in real life, the very mention of food makes my tummy rumble :rainbowlaugh: but I can't be bothered to go make something....

Also great chapter

3208095 :pinkiesmile: Here, have a cupcake!
:yay: I could make some salad... I mean, if you want...
:twistnerd: I made thome peppermint thicks.

Comment posted by SuperMarioDemon deleted Sep 15th, 2013
Comment posted by SuperMarioDemon deleted Sep 15th, 2013

Why... Why is this so good!? Are you trying to make fun of just about every joke that has been made ever? Cause it's fucking funny, man!:rainbowlaugh:

I may be in love with this sory here. On Fluttershy, you little boss, you.

...Reads like a fic I wrote when I was twelve.
Would it be right to call this a first fic?
It's not bad in that case.

Next SATURDAY?!?!?! BUT IT'S FUCKING SUNDAY!!!

3210705
I mean this Saturday. The reason is because of fucking school in the way.

Commit a mass murder suicide with nothing but a rusty razor blade.

Saturday?! :flutterrage: ahem...:fluttershysad: saturday?

3214555
Yes, Saturday. But don't worry...
I might sneak in the middle of the night to write the next chapter.

LUV IT!!!!!!:heart:The part with AJ and RD was Hilarious:applejackconfused::rainbowlaugh:KEEP WRITING:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile: so please if you do not mind:fluttershysad: START WRITING!!!!:flutterrage: if that's ok:fluttershyouch:

3216160
I might start tomorrow morning so don't worry.

I want to hurt those girls teasing Fluttershy. Very much so.

What do I think...? GOD DAMN CLIFF HANGERS THAT'S WHAT I THINK!!!!! Oh, and Pinkamena is the scariest bitch ever. :pinkiecrazy:

"And Applejack thought of the craziest idea EVER!"

"Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy said the same thing, "ARE YOU KA-RAY-ZEE?""


I think I've found someone I'd like to marry. "
This story.

3221141
Oh thank goodness, I thought it was me...
I am a girl though, you know that right? :twilightsheepish::duck:

It's a fantastic short chapter, keep 'em coming!

I really like this one actual I like all of them. When is the next on

Short but funny. GO PINKAMENA!!
AND YOU DID IT AGAIN, GOD DAMMIT!!

Honestly, I don't think friends would put friends in a potentially life-threatening situation on purpose...

3224686
Well why do you think I called the chapter "Dying of Laughter?" Although u do have a point...

I may have to rethink that...

"They both collapsed onto the bed, breathing and out of breath."

How is that possible?!?!? It's a paradox!!

I don't think friends would purposely put others in a life threatening situation... And Pinkie was a bit scary... Otherwise I love it, can't wait for more.

So out of character. Why is Rarity a completely insensitive bitch? An flutter shy so aggressive and impulsive?

Nope. If there is ONE thing I can't stand, it's when people are written out of character. And I I were to continue my list I would
Also say that I can't stand:
2-3 chapters of exposition.
Characters being hit with the Stupid Stick
A lazy resolution rendering a previous scene absolutely useless.
Irrationality. It's one thing having pinkie swnse he friends discomfort a literal mile away. It's another thing having her try to murder one of her friends and then be forgiven at a moments notice as if nothing happen. "Fuck Logic" doesn't apply here. It's filled and it's boring and half of these chapters I end of skipping as to get to the point instead of leading me in a pointless misguided plot.
I sound like a hater but I like the concept of the story, just not the execution. Keep trying ☺️

Is the bit about the nose being a Christmas present a reference because it's driving me mad trying to remember it. :pinkiecrazy:

3245912
Some people say it's either or birthday or Christmas gift thing but I guess I was thinking about Christmas when I was typing.

3236084
To answer your questions I'll say this:

Rarity (in the show or not) is usually kind of a bitch. She's not really so generous or thoughtful. :raritydespair:

If you recall, Fluttershy took agressive lessons from RD, therefore she was not really out of character...I think. :fluttershyouch:

Also to everyone else, I think I should reconsider the life-threatening situations. But what can I say? They're a bunch of teenage girls in their Senior year all trying to live their life...I guess.

DASHBACK TIME! (that is was I call a "flashback")

That's it. You just gained a follower. :rainbowdetermined2:

Pfft. Second grade :rainbowlaugh:
Lil' Fluttershy :heart: Rainbow Crash Dash

I have a feeling about the dare.

Omg why is there a gore tag ?! \(# o #)/

3249190 "Rarity (in the show or not) is usually kind of a bitch. She's not really so generous or thoughtful"

:rainbowwild: Amen to that.

Good story, I am starting to like it more as the story progresses. But the cliffhangers are killing me. I wanna read more!

Like holy shit, is this based off of the fiction "Seven Days in Heaven"? This is pretty good. No offense but try to cut down on the humor and references (which are great) and try to finish your thoughts properly. Don't just stop a chapter whenever. Only stop when a chapter is actually finished. The first three chapters would have been one long chapter.
when they were saying the dare, you cut it off and end of the chapter. No that doesn't work. If you were trying to get a dramatic feel, then try harder to have more emotional parts. The pinkamena scene is a good example but even more detailed. I assure you that your fiction will be better if you try to take my advice. Thanks

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