All Chrysalis ever wanted was a big, brave stallion who would sweep her off her hooves and love her forever. That's not too much to ask, is it?

On her first trip into Equestria, she meets the perfect pony for her, the pony she knows she's destined to be with forever. In one world, she goes back home and returns years later to take him by force. But what if she decided to go after her knight in shining armor another way?

And what happens when everything goes wrong, and she ends up stuck serving a pink pony princess instead of working alongside the stallion she's interested in?

Credit goes out to King of Beggars and his story Twilight Sparkle of the Royal Guard, and all the awful pitches we throw at each other for knockoffs and parodies.

A few days after the Nightmare Moon Incident, Spike awakens to find Twilight acting a little...odd. Or odder than usual anyway. All of a sudden she's being all motherly, sure of herself in ways she's never been before, and even more outgoing.

But…it’s kind of creepy how she just seems to know everypony’s name, or their habits, and even some stuff nopony else should know.

But she's still good old Twilight...right?

Featured 5/28/2014

You know these stories where somebody suddenly wakes up with a creepy, unknown voice in their head? Well that's what's happening to me, except I'm that strange voice, and I'm not stuck in somebody, I'm stuck in somePONY.
How did I get here? And how will I ever find a way to go back without so much as a body to call my own?

Now with 100% more cover art thanks to the splendiferously awesome Exelzior! Go read his stuff instead of mine! Do it!

Rated teen for foul-mouthed protagonist. Expect bad words.

Remember the time Ponyville was invaded by Parasprites? Or the time Cerberus, the demonic three-headed dog guardian of Tartarus, Equestria's underworld, wandered away and ended up in Ponyville?

What I'm trying to say is, it's an odd sort of town. Anything can happen.

This is the story of how a million star spiders came to live with Twilight Sparkle. It wasn't even the weirdest thing to happen to her that month.

Ponyville, man. Crazy place.

Edit: Now a reading, apparently!

You remember Canterlot. You remember the taste of victory. Across a thousand years and a hundred lives, it was the greatest joy you had ever felt.

And then, in a flash of heat and unbearable light, it ended.

Now you are alone. The rest of your kind are dead or scattered, and you cannot hear their thoughts.

There is a void inside you. A gnawing, endless hunger you cannot escape. It is killing you.

You need love to survive, but there is none of that here. Not for you. You can only steal it from them, these ponies for whom we are hungry.

[My entry in and winner of the "Most Dangerous Game" contest."]

Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.

Audio version! https://youtu.be/YgDr0Xc6rN8

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Having been defeated by the Rainbooms, losing their dark powers, and even their ability to sing, the Dazzlings are all but happy with how Adagio's plan went. But, as they did when defeated before, they will brush themselves off and keep moving forward.. Now they have to continue living in this world, without their powers this time. As they go on, however, they will start to notice some changes amongst themselves, and realize just how this tragedy affected each of them.

Dust has lived on the edge of Ponyville all her life, keeping to herself and studying. She knows Princess Twilight, and so when she realizes she's made a big discovery, she's eager to run to the castle and tell everypony the good news. But when she goes into Ponyville, they don't seem very happy to see her.

Why would that be? She didn't do anything wrong.

Derpy was just trying to make a sandwich. Vinyl was there too.

Now the world is ending.

Really, it's all their fault.

A stylistic tribute to Terry Pratchett.

Russian translation by Repitter.

Proofread by MrNumbers, Octavia Harmony, and TheMaskedferret.

Scootaloo ends up with her father's lunch by mistake. Reality is almost destroyed in the process.

A collaboration with RainbowBob.
Now featured on Equestria Daily!