Forty years after the first Hearth's Warming and the founding of Equestria, a unicorn filly discovers a magical secret that will change the world.

But her sister worries that's not all that will change.

*Entry in Fanofmosteverything's Imposing Sovereigns II: Once and Future contest. For Coronation: Celestia
Edit: Won a Honorable Mention!

*Set in the distant past, but background details are helped by having seen S2E11- Hearth's Warming Eve, S3E13 - Magical Mystery Cure, and S8E07 - Horse Play

*Editing by ClanCrusher
*Cover done by Wolfmask

Highly Recommended - Presentperfect

*Cleverpun’s Review
*Featured on Seattle's Angels!
*Featured on Equestria Daily's 2020 Luna Day Fic list! 🌙
*Featured on Equestria Daily's 2021 Celestia Day Fic list!🌞
*Featured on Equestria Daily's Spotlight!

This story is a sequel to Clear as Blood: A Detective Rarity Mystery

The crime? Murder.

The suspect? Our client.

The culprit?

That would be a lot easier to determine if they'd just let Rarity do her job.

Reading the previous stories is not necessary to enjoy this one, but will provide additional context.

Special thanks to ChudoJogurt for editing and advice. Detective Rarity vector by MPnoir.

Starlight Glimmer wakes up to a town filled with nonsense-speaking ponies. She has to get to the bottom of everypony's sudden bizarre, colorful aphasia.

I have no regrets!

Caffeine withdrawal can do terrible things to a pony.

Even in the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, where there is only Epic Pony War, and an eternity of (s)laughter, clopping, and the gnashing of feasting trolls… few horrors can compare to what Lord-Commissar Nutmeg of the Equestrian Guard would unleash upon anything impeding his quest for a morning cup of recaf.

To be a pony in the 41st Millennium is to live in a regime that declares itself 20% cooler than any other imaginable, as mighty battle-fleets cross the hate-infested miasma of the dimension of the Everfree in the name of the Alicorn Princesses. And yet, it is a regime where both magical and scientific knowledge have dwindled during the Royal Sisters’ long confinement to the Equestrian Throne, an arcane relic from the Age of Harmony, where a thousand cakes are sacrificed every day so that They may never truly die.

But to stand between a pony and his daily caffeine-fix is to forget all hope of peace and understanding, and to face the full might of the Royal Sisters’ inexhaustible armies: the Space Mareines, an elite cadre of bio-engineered super equines; the Equestrian Guard; their numerous comrades-in-hoof; the ever-vigilant Alicorn Inquisition; the tech-ponies of the Equestris Marecanicus; the—

+++Error, code corrupt, purging data feed+++

+++End Transmission+++

Many thanks to CoffeeMinion for both inspiration, editing, and the gratuitous use of his OC, Nutmeg.

Twilight Velvet is ready to retire, with her last book due to hit shelves in just a couple of days. Unfortunately, not everypony is as happy with the ending as she is.

Especially not the main character.

Credit where credit is due; big thanks to my two volunteer prereaders, Goat and Regidar.

As seen on Seattle's Angels!

This story is a sequel to Who-dunce-it?

The crime? Burglary. The stolen goods? Nothing—or so the obscenely wealthy Duchess Clearglass claims. The culprit?

Well, that's Rarity's job. Whether she wants it to be or not.

Reading the previous story is not necessary to enjoy this one, but will provide additional context.

The crime? Murder.
The victim? Prince Blueblood.
The culprit?

Well, that one's Rarity's job.
 
 

Take heed! There be spoilers in the comments!
An ex-entry into Aragon's Comedy is Serious Business contest which sadly grew too far beyond the word limit to submit. Be sure to check out the actual entries here!

They called Gusty 'the Great' when she was safely dead, and gone from the world's stage. But I knew her when she was alive, and vibrant, and deadly, and the most beautiful mare I have ever seen in my long, badly mis-spent life. She fought for the right, and for justice, and against monsters, thieves, slavers, and the evil which walks in pony guise. She was, in a word, glorious.

I fear if she was alive today, she'd be right out there, outside my gates, besieging my walls, waiting for the opportunity to call me to account for my many crimes. Stars, I wish she was out there right now, screaming my name, calling for my head. I miss her so much.

Flim, of the world-famous Flimflam brothers, has just been paroled from the dungeon. Reunited with his brother, Flam, and their old friend, Trixie, they have learned that their childhood home is in imminent danger. Compelled by one or more of the Royal Pony Sisters to raise an honest fifty thousand bits in just a few days, and without the aid of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, can they indeed redeem themselves?

High-speed carriage chases, musical numbers (both random and planned), rap battles, widespread property damage, consumption of intoxicating and/or hallucinogenic substances, arson, and generalized disturbances of the peace may all turn out to be necessary.

Not MERELY a Blues Brothers fusion. In my opinion. However, the pre-reading board of Equestria Daily disagrees in the strongest possible terms. They do, however, admit that it is "not poorly written."

Use of image generously permitted by theWalterX - check him out at deviantart!

Trixie wasn't sure if it was when she purchased that artifact with her last bit, or when she found herself wandering into a ruined shrine in the woods that she first went astray, but astray she certainly had gone. And now she was standing under an alien sky, empty of Luna's moon, or Celestia's sun.

Trixie was afraid that if she was not the guest of this dark and monstrous lord, she would find herself something much, much worse.

So it it was showtime. Time to earn her keep, her welcome. Because she'd rather be a guest to lunch, than the first course at dinner.

Though she might not want to admit it, it had been too long since she had a captive audience.

And who could be more captive than a Lord of Shadows entombed in a half-tartarus doom-world?