Twilight has too much time on her hooves.

Twilight has a spell that involves 'transposing male characteristics' that she hasn't tried yet.

Twilight is about to get herself into a whole world of trouble.

-
Translated into Russian(!) by the amazing repitter with editing by FoxcubRandy

Nobles have long held sway over Equestrian culture. They are the trendsetters, the heads of the pack. Simply the way they speak can influence language. When they create compliments, similarly-phrased praise spreads throughout the nation. When they implement insults, ponies create situations for those insults to be used. One insult, in particular, has gone down in history as especially infamous.

I'm talking about butts and the photocopying thereof. This is still Equestrian nobility, after all. It's complicated. And stupid. Mostly stupid.

Has a dramatic reading done by Skijarama.

Following her tragic death by yet another villain of the week, Twilight Sparkle finds herself facing something all alicorns eventually uncover.

The continue screen.

Twilight Sparkle has led a good life. She's become a princess, been on lots of adventures, made a lot of friends, and read a lot of books. A pity the books don't love her nearly as much as Twilight loves them, or she might not have been killed by one. But it's alright, this skeleton fellow talking to her seems nice.

Twilight Sparkle has led a good life.

Her death may be even better.

At least she has books.

A crossover with the Discworld series.

Pre-read by RTStephens, The Albinocorn, and FanOfMostEverything

Chrysalis thinks jokes, puns, and off-key musical numbers are the way to Twilight's heart (and bed).

She is ever so slightly, possibly, potentially, just a wee smidgen completely and utterly wrong.

Maybe.

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

Pinkie has a bad Hairdra day and winds up peeking further beyond the Vale than she’d have liked.

But, more certain than death and praxis, she’ll make sure everypony else has fun again.

Written for the October 2016 Writeoff, where it won first place.

Note: This story is written in the style of James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake, a classic work of English literature that is notorious for being hard to read. While this story is not as cementically dense as FW, it is still full of wordplay, literary references, portmanteau words and puns and will be a challenge for many readers. If this isn’t your sort of thing, try one of my other stories. If you’re game, dig in! It can help to read the story aloud.

Image background by Chaz1029, foreground by Mahaugher, with edits to both by GGA.

Thanks to Morning Sun, FanOfMostEverything, Quill Scratch, Baal Bunny, and Not_A_Hat for criticism, suggestions and corrections.

When some of her friends develop a relationship after spending a few days out to solve a friendship problem, without finding any friendship problem in the first place, Twilight Sparkle start to think something is wrong with the Cutie Map. She's mostly right.
Warning: Story is very silly and we can only hope it never turns out to be canon.
Rated T for some sexual references.
Proofread by the awesome Nephox Venom.
EDIT: Featured in 18/10/2016! YAY! THANKS GUYS!

"My name is Sunset Shimmer, and there are two Twilight Sparkles who are both madly in love with me.

Please help."

Rarity explains to Sweetie Belle what the Cutie Mark Crusaders saw when they walked in on her and Applejack.

It was totally innocent. Really!

There is now a Spanish translation of this story, courtesy of Spaniard Kiwi