• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen September 12th

Titanium Dragon

TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.


Rarity explains to Sweetie Belle what the Cutie Mark Crusaders saw when they walked in on her and Applejack.

It was totally innocent. Really!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 129 )

What WAS Dash doing, huh? :pinkiecrazy::rainbowdetermined2:

Quite funny, I like it. Another, please?

So, how does Sweetie Belle know what Rarity was trying to hide? :rainbowlaugh:

Applejack and Rarity, mostly. :rainbowwild:

What are you talking about? Rarity had a totally reasonable explanation for what Sweetie saw. :unsuresweetie: :trollestia:

7532929 But Sweetie Belle concluded that they were having sex. Either Rarity's a terrible liar, or Sweetie Bele has seen it before.

snrkt this is great

I can imagine all sorts of reasons why Dash was there


A week later...

:raritydespair: SWEETIE BELLE!
:unsuresweetie: What? The clubhouse had a leak.

7532929 The mattress did miss a third wet spot, though. You can't be saying that both rarity and applejack didn't bring the sky mare down to them at least once :rainbowwild:

All sorts of reasons...

“Too bad you guys showed up when you did; I mean, we’d been going at it for a little while, but I totally could have made them both scream.”

“Uh, yeah!” Scootaloo said, stumbling along the road next to Rainbow Dash.

“Oh, well, it was still totally awesome. I mean, I nailed Rarity and Applejack at the same time! Hoof bump?”

Scootaloo blinked, then raised her hoof to press it against her big sister’s upraised hoof. “Hoof bump!” she squeaked.

Rainbow Dash grinned, then glanced up at the nearby houses. “Yeah, well, I’d better get on home and take a shower before your parents get a whiff of me. Catch ya later, squirt!”

“Uh, yeah!” Scootaloo watched as her big sister spread her wings and launched herself into the sky, leaving her in a trail of dust. She stared after her rainbow trail for a moment, then sighed and walked up to the front door of her house, pulling on the handle with her mouth as she let herself inside.

“Is that you, Scootaloo?” came her father’s voice from the living room.

“Yeah.” Scootaloo glanced from side to side, then slowly crept into the room with her dad. “Dad, do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Her father folded the newspaper he was holding in his hooves, setting it on the table next to his chair. “Sure. What’s up?”

Scootaloo fidgeted. “Uh, I was just wondering… what does ‘nailed’ mean?”

Hopefully they practice good ladder safety! :trollestia:

7532972 Another week later :
*Here lies Rarity. 2000-2030, Beloved daughter, sister. Savior of Equestria*
:unsuresweetie: *crying* ... I miss you sis,.. WHY DID YOU DID THIS... We only had a leak in the clubhouse, like you had with applejack...
:applejackconfused: ... I think I understand now
:rainbowderp: *blush* Oh... Oh that... *leave fast*
(This could be a great sequel... Maybe the author will see that and maybe write a sequel ? We may never know)

We lose more good ponies that way. :fluttercry:

Short, funny thing to make me chuckle at work. Good stuff man.

Glad I got a laugh out of you. :ajsmug:

I was following up on your joke. Or trying to. :ajsleepy:

"It depends on the context, dear. It could mean pounding a metal spike into a plank of wood, or it could mean that I'm going to have to talk to Rainbow Dash about filly-appropriate language."

"That seems... really specific."

"It's true. Equish can be a very strange language at times."

7533043 Oh... Well, that was good. :facehoof: I totally ruined it didn't I ?

It's okay! Dead jokes just go on the compost pile and serve as fertilizer for new ones. Might stink for a bit though. :ajsmug:

Oh dear Lord, I just can't stop cracking up from this story! Great stuff!

7533009 Oh my god....SCOOTALOO HAS PARENTS?

“Heh, I reckon.” Applejack’s cheeks colored slightly as she reached up to tip her hat with her hoof. “I mean, considerin’.”
“So you were—”
Applejack’s cheeks turned as red as any apple. “Eyup.”
“Wow.” Apple Bloom looked down at her hooves. “I didn’t know two girls could—”
“Well, they can. And uh, do.” Applejack reached up with one hoof to push her hat a bit lower over her eyes.

It's called tribadism, AB, maybe when you get older you will learn about that for yourself...:ajsleepy: And you should go after Spike, since neither me nor Rarity want anything bad to happen to him or for him to do anything that hurt himself.
Because we care as his dear friends and this would tear his heart apart...and I know you've had a bit of a likin' to him like I have with Rarity...

....can't help it, the Sparity in me says "when RariJack happens, take care of the dragon before he drowns in his pipe dream and at least throw him a life preserver".

So Dash is a farrier on the side, too? It's a bit odd she's bragging about almost making them scream, though. She totally got the wrong idea about that job.

7533009 Uh, a shame that that didn't pass the final cut. I suppose the contrast with Rarity talk was already made with AJ's.
So this was pretty funny :derpytongue2:
And of course, Raridashjack? I totally approve. :scootangel:

I'm always glad to hear that my story made someone laugh out loud. My secret goal of all my comedies is to make someone laugh loud enough that someone else comes to make sure they're okay. :ajsmug:

She'd have to. Unless she's secretly a pod pony. :raritywink:

Well, nopony ever said she's a good farrier. It's more of a hobby, really. :pinkiecrazy:

Glad you were amused!

And yes, I didn't end up including it less because it wasn't funny and more because it felt like it was drawing out the story too far after the punchline. Also, it wasn't really a proper triple subversion; the first bit subverted Sweetie Belle's innocence, while the second subverted our understanding of what was going on. The third one, though, doesn't really subvert anything about the (unseen) scene, just Scootaloo's understanding of it.

I have yet to write a SpikeBloom shipfic, but I did write a SpikeBelle story a while back.


Nicely done...

Those muffled snorts and snerks are what I live for. Thanks for reading! :rainbowkiss:

“What was Rainbow Dash doin’ there?”


Rarity explains to Sweetie Belle what the Cutie Mark Crusaders saw when they walked in on her and Applejack.

Rarity - "Well, you see darlings...when Titty Dragon gets an idea for a fanfic-"
Applejack - "We're lesbians, pard'ner. There."

UniqueSKD - "Well, thank god it's not a crappy clopfic."

Titanium Dragon - "I swear I'll kill that handsome and sexually attractive twat UniqueSKD for calling me 'Titty Dragon'."

7533481 Why was she panting, mister Titty Dragon?

I'd never use such language! :rainbowderp:

7533513 Spend five minutes alone in a room with me; you'll use swearwords you never knew existed once you're fed up with my crap.

Assuming I haven't broken your mind to the point where you write your stories out with feces.

Just like that awkward Sunday afternoon down the local asylum, let me tell you. Oh ho ho, boy...

There was shit everywhere...

Wouldn't it be hilarious if all the mares in Ponyville EXCEPT Lyra and Bon Bon were gay?

:ajbemused:Somepony had to hold the camera.

Poor Rarity. What ever did she do to deserve such a fate? :raritydespair:

If you think it'd be funny, write it! We can always use more colorful lesbian horse stories.

Well, it's better than asking the alternatives for help. Besides, Twilight's probably busy.

Rarity would never engage in such a thing!

Clearly it was a ménage à trois. :trollestia:

But, you know, in French. That automatically makes it classier, right? :duck:

This seems relevant.

How original!

Now, now, it has been twenty stories. I'm allowed to write a silly raunchy comedy every now and again. It is in the FIMFiction charter. :trixieshiftright:

The real reason pegasi make everything out of clouds, really. :rainbowwild:

Poor Applejack. :duck:

I saw the twist coming a mile away, yet I still laughed. Great job!

Thanks! I'm glad I got a laugh.

By the way, that's a cute user icon. :twilightsmile:

The Sweetie Belle twist was expected, but still humorous. The Apple Bloom twist was unexpected, and also a very welcome change from the usual fandom trend of the Apple family's attitude regarding this. The final twist was very unexpected.

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