Twilight Sparkle is a truly terrible dancer. Everypony knew this, even Rainbow Dash. But, after accidentally blurting out a request, Rainbow decided she'd seize the opportunity, no matter what other ponies may think.

Written for my girlfriend, who's probably a better dancer than me, though that's setting the bar pretty darn low.

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Chrysalis thinks jokes, puns, and off-key musical numbers are the way to Twilight's heart (and bed).

She is ever so slightly, possibly, potentially, just a wee smidgen completely and utterly wrong.

Maybe.

Rarity just had a perfect date with a perfect colt! But something isn’t right.
She goes to her old childhood journal for inspiration. As she reads she notices a trend.
Hmm, she sure did write about Applejack a lot…

Suddenly finding herself in hell, Twilight is presented with one fact: for the rest of eternity, she's stuck in a library holding every book possible. She's expected to organize them and is allowed to read them.

What makes this hell, again?

Now has two Spanish translations, one by SPANIARD KIWI and another by Pugg-Senpai.

What would happen if rubbing a pony's tummy turned you into a pony? We'd be doomed. That's what'd happen.

Picture related in spirit, not substance.

After a long day’s work, Celestia loves nothing more than to get her belly rubbed by Josh, the Royal Belly Scratcher.

Princess Twilight Sparkle may never be able to live it down, even if she's immortal.
She writes shipping stories as a stress relief tool, and there are all sorts of ships that she's had sail off to the horizon over the years.
Unfortunately, Spike just had to come in and sneeze on the pile of scrolls that she had written...and they were sent to the addressed parties.
It's going to be a long, long day...
Inspired by Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder and John Ringo. Seriously.

Freshly founded, news of Ponyville spreads through a still developing country, drawing other earth ponies and some pegasi to join the effort. One of these families happens to have fur on their wings, and the slit eyes of predators. They ain't right.

Done for a loyal patron!

This story is a sequel to Cuddle Time...Again!

The Canterlot Castle's dungeon is renowned for being the highest-security jail in all of Equestria (after Tartarus, of course). Little do ponies know, but the most dangerous, unpredictable, and crafty criminals are held in an entirely different floor, directly under the watchful eye of Princess Luna.

Luna ALWAYS extracts the information she needs from those held in her secret Cuddle Dungeon. And if they refuse to cooperate, well, she'll just suffocate them in her chest floof until they fold like a house of cards.

Inspired by a few brief lines in my story Cuddle Time...Again!

Beautiful cover art by probablydnon on Tumblr (no link; Blog is NSFW).

"deliciously and hilariously silly..." - LightningDashes

EDIT: Featured 8/15/17! Thank you all so much!
EDIT 2: Featured at #1 8/15/17! I am so glad everypony enjoyed!
EDIT 3: Now with an Audio Drama set up by the illustrious TheWingman!