Crime: Inter-Dimensional Travel (Without an Applicable Visa)
Princess Luna tilted her head quizzically, her muzzle slack-jawed as her eyes analytically ran over the being on the other side of the one-way mirror.
The chief guard on shift, Papaya Sunrise, cleared his throat as he waited for the Princess’ response.
“What in Equestria...Is that thing?” she asked slowly, still looking at the thing tied to the yellow-colored cell’s cuddle table with sparkly-eyed inspiration.
“We’re not sure, Your Highness. We found it lying unconscious in the middle of Canterlot Avenue. Preliminary magical analysis suggests the presence of a highly powerful spell used to transport it here.”
Princess Luna hummed softly, her interest piqued further. “Have any of you interacted with it?”
“I sent the newbie in a little while ago. He said that ‘it’ is a ‘he’ and that it speaks our language.”
Princess Luna let out an impressed gasp. “Is that so? I knew there was something quite...alluring about this creature.”
“Uh, Hello?” The human tied to the cuddle table asked. “Is anyone behind that mirror? Where am I?”
Princess Luna’s eyes widened as she inhaled. “Wow! So intelligent! I have to go talk to it!”
“Wait, Your Highness!” The guard cried, grabbing her hoof. “E-excuse my boldness,” he began, withdrawing his own hoof, “But we don’t know the first thing about this creature! It could be dangerous!”
“How exciting!” She replied, moving out of the room and to the cell door with a sense of purpose. Gesturing firmly, she signaled the guard to unlock the door. When he had done so, she strolled inside confidently and observed the creature intently, her face betraying significant interest.
“Uhh...Hello?” the creature greeted apprehensively.
Princess Luna sucked in an excited breath. “Hello!”
“You look like you’re the, uh, horse-thing that’s in charge here. Where am I?”
“How magnificent you are...” Princess Luna cooed as she closed the distance between them. “A fascinating creature.”
“Or, just totally ignore the question. That’s cool.”
“You can even use sarcasm!” Princess Luna’s eyes sparkled with the thrill of discovery. “Do you have a name?”
“Uhh...Yeah. I’m Michael. I’m a human.”
“Nice to meet you Michael. I’m Luna, and I’m a fifteen-hundred year old pony princess.”
Michael craned his head around, as if looking for hidden observers. “Is this an episode of 'Pranked' with particularly high production values, or something?”
“Why are you wearing clothes?” Princess Luna inquired, poking Michael’s t-shirt once with a hoof.
“Because that’s what humans do? We don’t like being naked.” Michael looked Princess Luna up and down with a pair of piercing green eyes. “Although I have gathered that you ponies don’t care much. Look, can you at least explain to me why I’m tied to a surprisingly comfortable metal table?”
“We’ve never seen your kind here before in Equestria,” Princess Luna explained, although her curious smile never left her muzzle. “The guards say you could pose a significant danger to us.”
Michael jingled his chains and sighed. “Yeah, sorry to disappoint you, but I’m pretty harmless.”
“Harmless, you say?” Princess Luna bit her lip and thought for a few moments. “Guards! Release the restraints remotely!”
“We can’t, Your Highness!” a gruff voice replied from the intercom. “We have no idea how much damage he could do; he’s probably lying about his powers and intentions!”
“Do not question your Princess! There is only one way to gauge his true power: I must snuggle him!”
“Princess, I must protest-”
“DO YOU ALSO WISH TO SPEND HARD TIME IN THE CUDDLE DUNGEON?”
The guard’s silence seemed to indicate he was contemplating this for a moment. “Ehhhhh...Actually, kinda, but I get your point.”
A buzz of the intercom signaled the remote release of the prisoner’s restraints and Michael gently slid down the table to the floor. “Ah, that’s a lot better.”
Princess Luna was upon him almost immediately, her front hooves wrapped around his neck as she balanced on her back hooves. “Show us your snuggle power! We must learn if you’re a threat to us.”
“Snuggle power?” Michael questioned. “I...okay, I guess.” He wrapped his arms around Princess Luna’s midsection and pulled her close to him.
“Ohhh,” Luna breathed. “You’re good at snuggling, I can tell; and so warm…”
He chuckled softly. “Geez, maybe I was right and this is some sort of sissy, magical, pansy world.” Michael reached up and ran his fingers in tiny circles behind Luna’s ear.
It flicked in response and Luna moaned happily. “H-how...are you doing that? I-I can’t s-stay…” She slowly flopped on her back, lying on one of the nearby throw pillows with her eyes in a glazed stare.
Michael chuckled evilly. “Fingers are weapons of mass destruction here, huh? Wait...I bet I can take over this whole world after all.”
“P-please, no,” Luna whined as he continued to scratch behind her ears from atop her. “I-I want to protect my subjects!”
“Silence!” Michael commanded, running both his hands up Princess Luna’s chest floof. “You are very fluffy, by the way.”
“Thank you,” Luna commented calmly and almost offhand before returning to her futile struggling.
Michael’s hands moved down to her soft tummy and rubbed it in long, elegant and repeating lines.
Princess Luna gasped and squirmed under the assault, whining in pleasure. “It feels too good...I can’t...Losing consciousness!”
“Hold on Your Highness!” the voice of the Cuddle Dungeon Guard Team’s newest member buzzed through the intercom. “We’re coming to extract you!”
“N-no, stay away!” Luna commanded feebly as Michael began running his fingers teasingly across her wings. “He’s too powerful; we can’t risk him escaping! I shall use all of my power to restrain him!” Straining so hard that a roiling red blush caught fire on her cheeks, Princess Luna slowly began weaseling out of Michael’s grasp. “I-it’s working!”
“I don’t think so!” Michael cried, placing his hands on her front hooves and beginning to massage them gently.
Luna gasped and became immobilized at the moderately pleasant feeling, her eyes beginning to flutter shut.
“Haha! Yes! I am unstoppable!” Michael cried triumphantly. “Perhaps ending up in this strange world was fate; perhaps I am destined to rule!”
With all of her strength, the Princess of the Night bucked her lower body upward with enough force to dislodge Michael and send him falling backward. Scurrying desperately to her hooves, she used her magic to float him over to the restraint table and reattach the bindings.
Michael simply laughed maniacally. “Do you think these binds will stop me? It’s only a matter of time until I escape and overthrow you!”
The two guards on duty frantically threw open the cell door and rushed to Princess Luna’s aid. “Your Highness, are you alright?”
Princess Luna sucked in lungfuls of air as she tried to recover. “Y-yes. You are right, he is dangerous.”
The younger guard spoke up. “What are we going to do, then?”
Princess Luna’s eyes narrowed in determination. “He will remain here under my custody,” she declared forcefully. “I will use him to hone my cuddle powers. If more of them ever come, Equestria will be ready.”
Michael laughed as the trio of ponies exited the cell. “Good Luck, ‘Princess’! I think we all know why you’re really coming back!”
Princess Luna kicked the door closed with a hoof and regally strode down the hallway towards the stairs which led back to the main halls of the castle.
“Princess,” Papaya Sunrise called, struggling to catch up with her.
Princess Luna acknowledged him with a turn of her head, but didn’t slow her gait.
“Your Highness,” the guard began, his armor clinking as a consequence of his quick pace of movement, “Why were you holding back?”
“Whatever do you mean?” she replied, the first hints of a grin playing at her muzzle.
“You and I both know that you are a far more powerful cuddler than that.”
Princess Luna halted at the foot of the spiral stairs and regarded her staffer cooly. “Are you suggesting that I allowed our interdimensional interloper to overpower me with cuddles on purpose, so as to establish probable cause for keeping him in custody? Simply because I find him a fascinating creature who I wish to snuggle with more? And that, as a secondary benefit, I can horrifically embarrass him at a later date by leveraging his overconfidence against him in another cuddle-interrogation? Do you really believe I would do such a thing?”
The experienced guard looked back at her tiredly, with half-lidded eyes. “Yes, I do. In fact, it’s what I’d expect you to do.”
“Hmmmf,” Princess Luna scoffed with a poorly-hidden smile, turning her back on the guard and walking up the stairs. “I suppose you don’t know me at all, then."
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I like how Michael went from a normal guy casually weirded out about the scene, to wanting to take over the world in like 10 seconds flat
although i'm sure it's all just for good fun.
Good show, jolly o'll chap!
I wonder if she's gonna capture more humans later....
“What in Equestria...Is that thing?” she asked slowly, still looking at the thing tied to the yellow-colored cell’s cuddle table with sparkly-eyed inspiration.
Considering I just read a fic where she knows all about human beings...
To be honest, I for some reason thought that Sonic the hedgehog was the one who was teleported to equestria. Good chapter either way.
A sickeningly fascinating fic.
8508391
Thank you, I think!
At first, I was expecting it to be Sci-Twi. Imagine that!
Yes. Yes I do.
My first idea was Thor
Yes. 100% yes.
Fantastic