It was an average morning in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the changeling was swimming in the pool.... wait what?

This story is written by me and Limescale.
You can find his page here
Front page at 1/21/2017. Thanks guys for making it possible!

As of 11/27/2023, the story now has an audio reading. Check it out! https://youtu.be/iYjTMNmnfSk

Chrysalis kidnapped a dozen ponies, threatened Equestria, was betrayed by her own kind, and has now vowed vengeance on Starlight Glimmer before leaping from the ruins of her castle and flying off. She is definitely going to get away.

Absolutely.

Yep.

Reading by TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade

Translated into Spanish by ZodiacalComet

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Chrysalis is having a tough time planning out her next move
since almost all her children are offering her waffles.

Might contain spoilers for the season final.

Thank you to everyone who helped me write this story while I was at Bronycon!

Rainbow Dash has a problem. Whenever the weather is bad, (due to her own idiocy) she goes to the local lesbian bar and gets completely hammered. Twilight has had enough of it. She says that to keep Rainbow from drinking and sleeping around, Rainbow must get herself a good marefriend. That way, Dash will stop ending up in Twilight's house. So Dash goes on the hunt for the best mares in Ponyville.

Queen Chrysalis also has a problem. She wants to take the elements of harmony out of the picture, but she doesn't know how. When a drone tells her that she can take out the mane six by 'getting in' with them, she sets out to seduce one or more of the pastel horses. When she hears that Rainbow is on the market, she turns herself into a stallion that the Queen thinks the blue pegasus would love.

Unfortunately for The Queen, Rainbow is into mares, and she is too dense to figure it out.

Written for F*** THIS PROMPT competition that can be found here. The prompt was Rainbow Dash is a lesbian.

This story has cursing, sex jokes, and jokes about lesbians. None of the things in this story are meant to offend, but be wary that the faint of heart or easily offended may not want to read. For the sake of making the story more adult in nature some of the characters do or say things that may seem out of their cannon character. That's the way it is when you make a more adult story about cartoon horses. You have been warned.

Wait! So Rarity's being impersonated by a changeling? And Twilight too? And... the rest of the Elements of Harmony?

Okay. So what's the big deal again?

UPDATE: labeled as complete. I really can't think of anything else to add to this story. The second chapter will remain as a bonus.

With how much ponies stumble, fall, crash, take hits, and get things dropped on them, you'd think they would... you know... actually get hurt.

Well it turns out there's a reason for that!

The reason: Ponies are squishy.

Awesome reading done by CaptainBron3y A.K.A TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade. Check him out!

Chrysalis corners Celestia about an old debt.

Dodging ensues.

YouTube reading by Solar Pony!

There have been many stories where Queen Chrysalis and her changeling were only trying to do what was best for their race. That they had no choice but to attack Canterlot, or risk dying of starvation. That it was all a misunderstanding, or some other treacly excuse.

This is not one of those stories.

This story was written with absolutely zero sympathy for the devil.

Once upon a time, there was a young unicorn who was scarred and battered by the cruel world until he was forced to retreat behind the walls of a solitary life as a bitter and spiteful creature. As he grew up, he remained a lonely recluse, with only his best friend for occasional companionship.

Until one day when he found something the world had treated even more callously and cruel than himself. She was a changeling, badly wounded and crushed until she hung onto life by a slender thread. The only chance she had for surviving her injuries was love, but that was no chance at all, for she was a monster in pony society.

And who could ever love a beast.

Rated T for references to sex, crude language, obnoxious behavior, and weathervanes.
Editors: Peter, docontra, D48 and Tek
Cover picture FIM Sleeping Changeling is courtesy of Avarraptor at Deviant Art.
(Gypsy the Changeling is so cute.)