• Member Since 29th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 18th, 2017

Erised the ink-moth


If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down. -Gin Blossoms

Sequels1

T
Source

With how much ponies stumble, fall, crash, take hits, and get things dropped on them, you'd think they would... you know... actually get hurt.

Well it turns out there's a reason for that!

The reason: Ponies are squishy.

Awesome reading done by CaptainBron3y A.K.A TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade. Check him out!

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 56 )

Headcanon accepted.

So this explains why the CMC are still breathing? I can accept this.

I'll buy that for a bit.

This... would explain a lot, actually. Including that cover pic.

“Hate is powerful, and ponies are squishy.”

Words more beautiful have never been spoken.

7075510
Actually, now that I think about it some more, I've decided that I want to incorporate this magic system (to a slightly lesser and less comical extent) into a (non-pony) story I'm working on. Since everyone in that world has magic, which evolves along side them, why shouldn't magic and good intentions protect them? Why shouldn't hate empower its destructive potential?

I really like this idea.

Makes me think of Undertale monsters, where simply wanting to hurt them badly enough can let a human child one-shot a monster strong enough to suplex boulders with a simple stick.

What to do now? Have celestia figure out discord was the one behind it, and that he's secretly saved nearly every pony from certain serious injury and/or death, including her.

do both, i know you want it :D

“Hate is powerful. Aside from love, hate is the strongest emotion out there. But where laughter heals, and love protects, hate is strong enough to hurt like nothing else can. Wanting to hurt someone will infuse that hate into your actions- hate strong enough to cut through the protective auras protecting them; the more you mean it, the more it hurts.”

Hmm. Reminds me of Undertale, to be perfectly honest. Although, this would be a perfectly valid explanation for all the slapstick in the show and why certain villains are legitimately feared-all that anger and hatred in their actions on top of actual deadly weapons would be unbelievably lethal.

Although, if this were actual canon, it would mean practically every single Human in Equestria story would result in very confused and horrified ponies wondering why the strange human is so fragile and why did all of his bones break, organs burst, eyes pop out, and suffer both internal bleeding and massive brain damage when they inevitably got involved in some typical slapstick and suffered real world consequences of an anvil falling on them. Point is, if this is canon, humans in Equestria have a week to live, tops before dying horribly unless they're very careful.

This is now my accepted headcannon!

Hate is powerful, and ponies are squishy.

Yes, sure, why not?

I suppose that it is hate that allow Twillight to evolve into a rapidash catch fire too?

Or that virus are hating pony to make them sick?

7079263 Enjoy!

I felt this was a really interesting, original concept, and it makes a ton of sense. I mean, in Feeling Pinkie Keen, it seems like Twilight should have died, but she didn't. Time to alter my headcanon!
Also, the secret changeling bar in Canterlot is an interesting idea. I notice it changes locations and passwords all the time, and it reminds me of version of the Room of Requirement in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Pretty cool.
I like this story. Good job.

7079263 I've been thinking of writing a story with that premise. Maybe not quite as dark, though.

Nice. Now I need to make an announcement. HELMSMAN!!!

Yes sir!!?

FIRE THE HEADCANONS!!!

Equestria (and likely their entire planet) runs on Narrative Causality, much like another world fantastic.

7079263

On the other side, imagine human weaponry powered by hatred. :twilightoops:

Brilliant silliness. :coolphoto:
... Or so silly it's brilliant? :rainbowhuh:

Hah, that was hilarious. Like it.

For some reason I imagine Chryssie frequenting that bar too.

Suddenly Sombra seems to be far more dangerous...

Good story!

7079263 If Equestria ran on Undertale rules, humans could also be surprisingly tough on account of their immunity to the Power of Hate. A furious buck from an Earth pony, which could break a tree-trunk in half, would hurt a human as much as being hit by an angry marshmallow. Ponies are squishy.

Well I can see why the huge number of notifications, that was freaking hilarious! :rainbowlaugh: Also that's an interesting idea, I like it. :pinkiehappy:

:yay:A theory that explains how Twilight survive being crush.

Heh. This is one of those sort of things that you never ever stop to think about up until now, and now that it's been put in your head, you're wondering how the heck it, or something similar, never occurred to you before. :rainbowlaugh:

7074371

wille179

I am terrified this will go into effect into your stories now.

7093590
Not for anything current. For new things, however...

7093660

Not for anything current. For new things, however...

My terror has been upgraded! :raritycry:

Nice to know that should I ever end up in Equestria, I can infuse my fingers with hatred, and poke them all to death if I feel threatened.

7094229 Perfect avatar to go with that.

7094229
OH MY GOD YES!!!! Hahaha!!!

7099670 Mind your ears

7099948 HAH! What's this crazy shit?! XD Was that a sonic remix?

7099954 That would be the "How 2 draw sanic hegehog" song meme.

Just stopping by to make sure that you realize that this fic is ranked first on FimFiction right now. You glorious bastard. Have another like to push it even further.

I'd give you a screenshot, but I'm on a Mac and I have no idea how to work this infernal machine.

Kisses, :heart:,

~Doc

“Oh that’s even better. If an accident is even remotely funny, it triggers some sort of… restorative healing magic. Never bothered to learn the exact science behind it, but what it boils down to is… the funnier something painful is, the more the magic will heal whatever wounds their auras couldn’t block. I heard that’s where the phrase, ‘laugh it off’ comes from.”

That...actually would explain a lot... :pinkiecrazy::rainbowlaugh:

7100540
i concur! it trully explains a lot of things!:rainbowlaugh::trollestia:
ponies are squishy!:facehoof: dimissed!:twilightsmile:
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

7100540 No, not a lot... That would explain EVERYTHING :pinkiegasp:
I especially like how the connection between the different kinds of magic was drawn.
Laughter heals, love protects, hate hurts. That is the canon-closest headcanon I have read so far:twilightsmile:

One question: Anybuggy? What happened to Anyling? O.o

derpicdn.net/img/2016/1/12/1065271/large.png

True Story. Ponies are squishy.
That explain for no "blood"

That would explain a lot. :rainbowlaugh:

7109154
Anyling and anybuggy are interchangeable in common parlance. Though for more formal occasions anyling is the preferable term while anybuggy is the fun/familiar/laid-back term! THUS DOTH I DECREE, SO SHALL IT BE!

Confirming that every changeling had a drink in front of them, Dune raised his glass and called, “Okay… on three. One, two…”
On three, every changeling preformed a simultaneous spit-take and screamed, “YOU DID WHAT?!”

Nice to know Chrysalis isn't the only overly dramatic changeling.

Yep. I'll buy that.

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #57.

My review can be found here.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

That was far more amusing than I'd anticipated. :)

Well, we know that Laughter and Love are genuine magical forces in Equestria. Presumably there would be similar positive effects for actions imbued with Honesty, Generosity, Loyalty, and Kindness - which is why the combined force of the Elements tended to be so powerful in the first couple of seasons.

Given this story's treatment of Hate, it might also be the case that the flip-side of the other elements - Fear, Falsehood, Theft, Betrayal, and Antagonism (or thereabouts) - may have similar magical properties and negative connotations. Windigoes, for example, might be attracted by Antagonism. Fear would be a powerful force amongst herd creatures, but almost everything which attempts to use it against ponies and/or Equestria eventually fails, to their own detriment. Flim and Flam may have pizazz and amazing mechanical aptitude, but Falsehood brings them down every time. It was a sense of Betrayal which allowed Luna to fall to the Nightmare. And Tirek's devotion to Theft sees him being banished to Tartarus more than once.

7826822 Ah the wonders of living in a show aimed at children.:twilightsmile:

I never considered it at the time of writing, but I have to think the various Lantern Corps would be super effective in Equestria; their powers stem from feelings, after all.:twilightsheepish:

7826922 Hmm! Iron Will of the Green Lantern Corps, Chrysalis of the Sinestro Corps, Tirek the Orange Lantern, Sunset Shimmer or Saddle Rager of the Red Lantern Corps, Celestia of the Blue Lantern Corps, Fluttershy of the Indigo Tribe, Cadance of the Star Sapphires, Sombra of the Black Lantern Corps... and I'm not sure who for the White Lantern Corps. The closest entity I can come up with is the Tree of Harmony. I guess if the Green Lantern Corp can have members ranging from robots to planets to sapient mathematical equations, a tree isn't the weirdest thing to wield a power ring.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!