• Member Since 27th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen April 10th



Thank you to everyone who helped me write this story while I was at Bronycon!

Rainbow Dash has a problem. Whenever the weather is bad, (due to her own idiocy) she goes to the local lesbian bar and gets completely hammered. Twilight has had enough of it. She says that to keep Rainbow from drinking and sleeping around, Rainbow must get herself a good marefriend. That way, Dash will stop ending up in Twilight's house. So Dash goes on the hunt for the best mares in Ponyville.

Queen Chrysalis also has a problem. She wants to take the elements of harmony out of the picture, but she doesn't know how. When a drone tells her that she can take out the mane six by 'getting in' with them, she sets out to seduce one or more of the pastel horses. When she hears that Rainbow is on the market, she turns herself into a stallion that the Queen thinks the blue pegasus would love.

Unfortunately for The Queen, Rainbow is into mares, and she is too dense to figure it out.

Written for F*** THIS PROMPT competition that can be found here. The prompt was Rainbow Dash is a lesbian.

This story has cursing, sex jokes, and jokes about lesbians. None of the things in this story are meant to offend, but be wary that the faint of heart or easily offended may not want to read. For the sake of making the story more adult in nature some of the characters do or say things that may seem out of their cannon character. That's the way it is when you make a more adult story about cartoon horses. You have been warned.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )
Comment posted by Fireheart 1945 deleted Jul 12th, 2016

This is beautiful. It needs a sequel.

I've seen that video. I was given a prompt, and I had to follow it.

Thank you!

Eh, kind of cute and funny. But, you really need to proof read more or find an editor. I counted two times where you just repeated the same words twice and multiple spelling and grammatical errors scattered throughout the story.

On top of that, the flow in this story is rather rough and jittery, so it could be improved.

Still, for what it is, it's okay.

I just went over it one more time. I was in a hurry to get this in for a contest, so I'll get it officially proofread eventually. Until then, it is what it is.

“Alright.” She pushed her glasses up and meticulously organized a stack of papers. “You are going to want form 867-5309 in box A113 on floor three.”

But what will calling Jenny do?

It makes me happy that someone pointed that out

I have one thing to say: I don't know of anything to say.

That was what I had to say.

Anyway, this is strange.

Comment posted by tflex deleted Jul 12th, 2016

In a good way or a bad way?

7387261 In every way. Mostly good.

Comment posted by Twilight is the BEST deleted Jul 13th, 2016
Comment posted by Twilight is the BEST deleted Jul 13th, 2016
Comment posted by Twilight is the BEST deleted Jul 13th, 2016

That's good!

This is really funny! The plot is a bit rushed, but the jokes are pretty darn good!

Thank you!

What have you done

I created a monster!

The two locked eyes for a moment and began aggressively making out.

And then they bucked all night


Yeah pretty much

7403036 i feel as though there would be gratuitous lulz if there was a continuation of this, somehow


Well gosh, I don't know what it is about it, but I sense some sarcasm in that comment.

But seriously, I'm sorry if you didn't get anything out of the story. I understand that's is pretty sophomoric, and I know not everyone is into that kind of humor.

This is... I dunno, the third or fourth time I've read this? Anyways, it's still good, it's random, and it still inverts the fabric of reality so that black is white, up is down and short is long.

Go listen to Weird Al's Everything you know is Wrong. NOW.

Ha! You act like I'm not already a Weird Al fanboy! Anyway thank you for the comment! I'm glad you enjoyed the story even after multiple reads. I'm sorry you had to see some of the glaring grammar mistakes though :P

Kidding aside I'm glad that you appreciate this weird malformed bastard child I have created. It's strength and it's weakness both lie in it's "what the fuck did I just read?" Effect. I'm proud of it, and I'm even more proud there are real life actual people who aren't my family who liked it also.

7595291 By the way, I like your Undertale Asriel image. I don't know whether or not you made it, assume not, but I like Undertale.

Thank you! No, I didn't draw this one. I've done it before, but not this particular one. I love Asriel, he's a cute little muffin. I've decided to just cycle through pictures of him.

So wonderfully of the rails

Delightfully dumb

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