It's a bright sunny day in Ponyville. Ponies talk, ponies laugh, and then there's the huge black death sphere that sucks up all matter in its path.

Humans... humans are such a bizarre race. Capable of the greatest benevolence and the worst atrocities. And yet, they're so very predictable. For you see, while societies may die, and nations may crumble, one thing will remain constant: the desire to survive.

I should know. I was there when everything fell.

When you’re as old as Celestia is, finding satisfying pleasure is a difficult task. And then one day, Celestia discovers a new side of pleasure she hadn’t found before and goes on a journey to maximize its potential. The best part is, her subjects won’t have a clue even when she's right under their noses.

A crack chronicle of pony x object stories. Enjoy the copious innuendo.

People who have helped:
DjNightmareNight (The one with no spaces in his name).

For so long I've been living life like a marionette on its last string. Only one thing kept me from falling into emptiness. That one thing that kept me going. It gave me a reason to pretend that life still mattered.

Only one pony in the world ever showed me a speck of kindness when I never deserved it. And now she's gone.

I'm falling, and the only thing that scares me is what I'll find when I hit the ground.

(Comments contain spoilers.)

A big thank you to PresentPerfect for his tireless help in editing this fic.

An alarm sounds. There's a planet nearby. I wonder if anyone can hear me.

My name is Gilda. I used to be a Griffon warrior, until I got banished.

When you're banished, you've got nothing. No clan, no funding, no gold watch and friendly job reference. You're stuck wherever the Griffon clans aren't.

You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone still talking to you. A speed-freak ex-marefriend. A megalomaniac illusionist working as a middlemare for the EIS.

Family too, if you're desperate.

Bottom line is, as long as you're banished, you're not going anywhere

My name is Short Skirts and Explosions, and I write a lot of crap.

That said, here's a collection of incomplete stories and/or rough drafts of stories that I would eventually improve into final drafts worthy of Fimfiction and Equestria Daily. This is by no means supposed to add canonical weight to any of the other drivel that I have written, but rather it's meant to show off lengthy pieces of literature that I've poured my heart and soul into, regardless of how much they might suck the proverbial teat of lameness. The material provided here is either stuff that I won't release in complete form, or is writing that is so incredibly different from the final drafts that they almost feel like completely separate stories on their own. Sometimes I like to share the worst I have to offer, as well as the best. Dislike to your heart's content, or else enjoy the junk for what it is.

"My name is Lyra Heartstrings, and you will not remember me. You won't even remember this conversation. Just like with everypony else I've ever met, everything I do or say will be forgotten. Every letter I've written will appear blank; every piece of evidence I've left behind will end up missing. I'm stuck here in Ponyville because of the same curse that has made me so forgettable. Still, that doesn't stop me from doing the one thing that I love: making music. If my melodies find their way into your heart, then there is still hope for me. If I can't prove that I exist, I can at least prove that my love for each and every one of you exists. Please, listen to my story, my symphony, for it is me."

Cover pic by Spotlight: askspotlight.tumblr.com

==Originally written Fall 2011== Equestria Daily Post==
After a long day of ruling Equestria, the Royal Sisters need a chance to unwind. Luna's solution is a few glasses of her once famous Moonshine, a drink distilled from moonlight. Celestia has been sober for a thousand years, but the temptation to have "just one" glass proves too great. Yet, when that one glass turns into several, it's Twilight who will have to deal with the princesses when they’re drunk off their flanks.

Set in the far future after Celestia and Luna mysteriously vanished and the sun and moon froze in the sky, Antipodes is the story of two ponies thrust out into the harsh new world on an adventure to uncover what happened to the world so long ago.

(I wrote this when I was 17. it's pretty rough in places, but i think the basic ideas i had here were pretty cool. it's got a good skeleton)

Spanish translation here: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Antipodas-1-3-953524835