Pinkie Pie is Dead

by chrumsum

12 - Bastard

Maybe Doc was right all along. Maybe there really is something wrong with me. For a brief moment, I’m pretty sure being insane is just fine. Because the world itself doesn’t really care what therapists consider to be “normal”.

I chance a brief look at Rarity. It doesn’t look like she’s hurt. There’s still time. I just hope she doesn’t try anything stupid. The blade hovers centimeters over her throat. A twitch this way or that and all of this will have been for nothing.

Pinkie talked to this thing all the time. I hope that it understands me, too.

“Put it down, Gummy. It’s over. The police are on the way.”

Gummy’s eyes don’t leave mine. They’re vacant, empty. I can read ponies, but it’s like I’m staring at a wall. Those damn eyes don’t give away anything. His jaw flexes, and Rarity gasps as the blade brushes against her neck. She doesn’t dare say a word. She just watches.

“There’s nothing left for you to prove, Gummy. You had your run, but it’s over now, you reptile bastard.”

He doesn’t react to the insult. I feel something roll down the side of my neck. I’m not sure if it’s sweat or water.

“I’ll give you credit,” I say carefully, taking a slow step forward. I immediately take it back when he jerks his head and jabs Rarity with the tip of the knife, drawing blood. She doesn’t scream. “You had me fooled. You had everyone fooled. No one would ever suspect you, would they? You must’ve felt awful smart. The Cakes said nopony came in or out. Nopony. You could’ve slithered out at any time when no one was looking. You knew Pinkie almost better than anyone. She trusted you. Everyone always did think she was crazy picking a baby alligator as a pet.”

Gummy doesn’t act as though he’s heard a word I’ve said, but Rarity’s still alive. He’s listening. That’s all I need. Keep him off Rarity. Don’t have a shot yet.

“Little Gummy. Who’d suspect? The entire time I was looking for a pony with powers that couldn’t possibly exist. That’s when I figured out I might not be looking for a pony. Then it hit me. How else could a murderer follow around Pinkie without ever being noticed? How else could they sneak a murder weapon into somepony’s house? And how else could they enter and leave a room without ever needing to touch a lock? It’s pretty easy when you’re too small to get noticed.”

My grip tenses around my revolver. Where’s the damn backup? Rain’s going to slow them down. Need to keep him distracted. I can’t let him kill again. I can’t have that on my conscience, too. So I play for time, and I play the one thing on my mind.

“Came down to why, obviously,” I say, sniffing. “Why would an innocent pet suddenly go violent? Then I remembered something Fluttershy said. A ‘pet play-date’. To the zoo. To see the giraffes and lions... and alligators.”

Something in his eyes changes and suddenly Gummy isn’t focused on Rarity anymore. His thin, beady eyes lock with mine.

“First time you’d seen a real alligator, wasn’t it? Must’ve been something. Scary bastards, aren’t they? Big, mean, full of teeth. An apex predator. And you? You were a shut-in salamander getting fed pancakes by a pink pony. Absolutely pathetic.”

He bristles at the word. Reptile or not, he thinks and feels like a pony. That’s more dangerous than anything, but it gives me a foundation. I take a slow step to the side, and his eyes follow me all the way.

“Oh yeah. Pathetic. Must’ve hurt. I know the feeling. They call it an identity crisis or something like that. But what more is there to expect from something so laughably sad. A predator? You? You couldn’t bite through balloon, let alone an antelope. That must’ve pissed you off something crazy. Too bad you weren’t even tough enough to blame that on yourself. Or hell, just accept it. You doled it back out on someone else. Pinkie Pie.”

Where the hell is that damn backup? The rain outside picks up, and it’s like the wind is trying to tear Ponyville from the ground and throw it somewhere where all of this might make sense.

“Yeah, Pinkie Pie. Must’ve been her fault, right? Dish out the blame on someone else and suddenly you’ve got something to hate. Makes it easier to ignore how pathetic you are. But you didn’t even have the teeth to finish the job. You waited until she was alone, and you made sure she couldn’t even move when you finally killed her. Absolutely pathetic.”

I get an idea. A crazy idea, but crazy enough to work. I lower my revolver, and give Gummy a new target. Rarity’s eyes widen.

“Pathetic. I’ll say it again. You killed the pony who ‘oppressed’ your true nature. And now you’re going to kill the only pony who could possibly work against you as a witness. She’d piece it together eventually. Who was next? Twilight? Fluttershy? Maybe Rainbow Dash and Applejack?” I force myself to laugh. It’s more like a dry cough.

“When were you going to do something real impressive, aside from sneaking up on mares? When were you planning on taking on something your own size? Something that could fight back?”

Gummy is dead still. The blade slowly comes away from Rarity’s throat. Heart’s going too fast. I feel something I’m not used to. Confidence.

That’s gone in a millisecond when Gummy dives off the bed faster than I would’ve thought possible. I don’t even get a chance to fire off a shot.

My back leg goes off like a firework. I hit the ground hard and feel my front left go the same way. I try to lift my gun. There’s a slash across my chest and my revolver goes skittering across the room. My skin’s on fire. Feel’s like I’m being peeled apart. I raise my hoof over my face and the edge of the knife digs into my foreleg and hits bone. The blade becomes a blur. Try to move. Get up, get away, get the knife out of the bastard’s grip. Slash to the shoulder. Neck. I try to turn and stand. He puts the knife back to work on my hind leg and I collapse to my haunches.

Something’s in my eyes. Stings. Burns. Tongue tastes like metal. My body quits. I stop moving, and my head rolls to the side.

Blood’s coming out of just about every last hole in my body. The thunder crackles and the wind howls. Gummy hops onto my chest and aims the knife at my heart.

The bed’s empty. Rarity’s gotten away. And Gummy keeps the knife over my heart, waiting.

Do it. Just do it, damn you. Get it over with.

He doesn’t. With what looks like the closest approximation of a smile, Gummy drops the knife. It slips down and off my stomach, slick with my own blood.

Rush in my ears is slowing down. Hard to think. Tongue’s gone heavy. Why can’t I move my head?

Gummy slithers off of me. He’s gotten exactly what he wanted. A corpse. And even more. The cops are going to find the body of a detective who’s been murdered in the home of a prime suspect.

And Rarity? Rarity’s going to tell them a pet alligator stabbed me to death.

There won’t be any mercy this time. No patience, no understanding. It’ll be fire and brimstone, fierce and horrible, an example. Two ponies dead and an innocent burns for the whole fucking thing.

Gummy’s gone.

I’m alone with the wind and rain in a bedroom in Ponyville. Didn’t think it would end like this.

It’s getting really... hard to breathe...

Darkness comes. I don’t mind too much. Feel sleepy. I let my eyes close and exhale slowly. Nobody, not even a cigarette to see me off.

Can’t say I didn’t see that coming. Seeing colors. Feel sleepy. I hear something like a small drum carrying me off to sleep. I let it.

Guess everything’s gone sideways again after all.

I’m sorry, Pinkie.

No.

Catch your breath. Keep your heart slow. Get up. Get up, you son of a bitch.

Die on your own time. Rarity needs you. Pinkie Pie needs you.

I move my front leg. It doesn’t budge. I force it to. I’m gasping for breath already. Hard to breathe when you’ve got more holes in you than a pincushion. Trench coat’s heavy with blood and rain, so I lose it and somehow manage to get all four legs underneath me, even the two that aren’t doing a damn thing.

It hurts. It hurts like every last one of my muscles has decided that I’m better off dead. I’ve probably got more blood outside of me than in me at this point. But I focus on one thing, the one thing that’s always kept me going.

I needed you, Pinkie, and now you need me.

I stand.

Legs just barely hold. I feel my head go light and my ears start ringing. For a second I’m pretty sure that I’m going to pass out again. Don’t let it get in the way. Keep focusing. I somehow manage to focus hard enough on my revolver that it glows and slides towards me.

I keep it in front of me. I hold myself against the wall as I walk and leave a red smear behind. Breathe in. Breathe out. Heart’s barely even pumping anymore. Keep it going. Can’t die yet. There’s a trail of blood on the tiles. My blood. Still wet. There might be time. I follow it down the stairs. My revolver quivers in my grip and I almost end up letting it fall.

The kitchen. Rain’s louder now but it comes through like a dull roar on a TV with lousy reception.

I lean against the door frame and raise my revolver. The trail of blood ends at the sink. It’s still running.

That’s right, Gummy. Clean yourself off and waddle away. No one will be any the wiser. I take a step and nearly slip in my own blood. He hears it. A scaly head slides out of the sink, and those thin eyes watch quietly. I smile. It hurts.

“Hey there, Gummy. We’re not done yet.”

I fire. The faucet explodes in a jet of water and Gummy leaps for the counter.

Stupid. Take your time. Don’t get cocky. Just make the shot. Hard to aim when you’re shaking so much.

He dives for the knife rack. Can’t let him get a weapon. I take another shot and miss again, leaving a hole in Rarity’s pretty little kitchen towels. He jumps and gets the knife in his teeth. When I fire again he’s not there anymore.

Floor’s slick, like fighting in a swamp. I’m not the predator here. He is, and he’s too damn fast for me to get a shot off on him. I’ve got three bullets left and I can’t keep wasting them.

The kitchen goes black and white again in another shard of lightning. Gummy’s nowhere to be seen. I keep my revolver close and scan every shadowy corner.

A sudden pain in my front hoof. I fire blindly. It hits water and nothing else. Meanwhile, I’ve got another bleeding gash to add to the list. I don’t know how much time I’ve got left. Every second it feels like I’m gonna fall face first into the bloody water. And then I do.

Somehow I manage to keep a grip on my revolver. Vision’s going blurry. He’s too fast, but I’m running on borrowed time. That’s my only advantage. I bank on it.

I see him come out of the corner of my eye. At first I’m not sure. Could be just the shadows of the trees dancing in the screaming wind outside. Then I see the thunder flash off his eyes and I know it’s him.

I don’t shoot. I let him come. There’s a flash of steel.

Gummy buries the knife halfway to the handle into my chest.

I almost don’t even feel it. Almost. Gummy tries to pull away. Without even thinking my forehoof reaches out and grabs the blade, pulling it back in. Hurts like hell but I keep it inside me and I feel it when I take one last breath.

My revolver comes down. The gunshot acts like the period at the end of the paragraph to everything that’s led up to here.

His body crumples to the floor, at home with the murky water. I’m not far behind.

I think I hear voices in the distance. Nothing hurts anymore. The water laps at my wounds and the rain sounds like crashing waves. Don’t even feel like pulling the knife out.

Suddenly feeling tired. I don’t fight it. I let my eyes close and I turn the world off.

I guess this isn’t a bad way to die.

Comments

[chrumsum]

2740429

Seriously. Just bear with me here.

[Reeve]

that was...... INCREDIBLE

[bahatumay]

...you pulled it off. I'm sorry I ever doubted.

[Axan Zenith]

No fucking way.

Chrome, this is....hell, I dunno what this is, but I wanna see you pull this off.

[RoboRed]

...I-I...what is this? I don't even...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/517/320/71c.gif

[PresentPerfect]

These comments, yes, I am loving this.

[JerryQWERTY]

Neat twist, still love it.

[Luminous Lead]

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that twist, but you made it work. Nice red herring with the Apple-hat. I'm interested in seeing how the aftermath plays out.

[Whitty]

I can't stop laughing...

[Luminous Lead]

2742849 That's a fair interpretation, but I still have a bit of beef with Sideways' process of elimination.

[Unwitting Brony]

And I repeat; what the fuck.

Just bear with me here.

I'm going to love to see how you handle this from here on out.

[JetstreamGW]

What.

[DerpRock]

I thought this is just a little joke from you, but it's not. You put a what-the-fuck-inducing twist at the end. And that's damn good thing. I'd really like to see how you're going to pull it off from here.

[UseFistNotMouth]

Not surprised at all. I've had a theory since chapter 1. First proper noun in the story. Not saying anything else.

[RazgrizS57]

These comments. This story. This villain. All my yes.

[Blank!]

Frankly, this is a pretty dumb reason to kill someone, but I've seen worse on Case Closed.