//------------------------------//
// I Remember Rainbow Dash pt 4 
// Story: Short Scraps and Explosions 
// by shortskirtsandexplosions 
//------------------------------//


I Remember Rainbow Dash – by short skirts and explosions
Act 1 – Chapter 4 – Of Daughters and Diamonds


“'A pony is going right into a grass region'.  Awwwww yeah.  Please disregard this paragraph, Princess.  I'm just testing to make sure this ink works.
“Princess Celestia, do you have a father?  I mean—is there a 'King Celestia' somewhere in the cosmos whom we barely know about?  If it's none of my business, you don't have to respond to that question.  Then again, it hasn't occurred to me until now that you'd actually be interested in responding to any of this drivel.  I'm only writing this because your apprentice thinks it's important.  Please, don't take that the wrong way and stuff.  Doing the pen-pal thing must be really thrilling for someone like Twilight Sparkle.  But unlike her, I don't get excited at watching paint dry.
“Come to think of it, I haven't written anything important on this page that's worth keeping anyways—I think I'll just trash the whole thi--”





Scrunnch!
Rainbow Dash moodily squashes the sheet of parchment on the counter before her and tosses it against a calendar hanging on the Post Office Wall.  The pathetically immaculate face of Sapphire Shores smiles jubilantly as the paper wad bounces off her printed snout and bounces neatly into a half-filled waistbasket lying strategically beneath it.
“H-Heh!  Nice shot there, kiddo!”  Blue Farrier chuckles jitteringly as he packhorses his way from the counter to a canvass cart with a pile of packages balanced precariously on his flank.  Turning around to half-buck the materials clutteringly into the container-on-wheels, he smirks the young wing'd filly's way.  “Whatcha writin' there, Rainbeam?”
Dash briefly grumbles under her breath before throating to the surface:  “It's nothing, dad.”  She taps the fresh new pen in her hooved grasp.  “Just testing this ink you gave me.”  She shudders with a delayed jolt and frowns over her shoulder across the post office.  “And stop calling me that!”
“Wh-What?  Heheh—'Rainbeam'?”
“Yeah, that!  I'm not a foal anymore, yanno.”
“But y-you'll always be my little foal, d-darling!”  Blue says with a pale smile.  After four or five seconds of dead silence, he gulps, and trots back towards the work counter to gather more things.  “So...uhm... ... ...uh.... .....Y-You're still doing weather f-flying for Ponyville?”
“Yes, Dad.  Been doing it for the last two and a half years.”  Rainbow Dash mutters while re-scrolling her completed and uncompleted sheets and sheathing the pen in with them.  “It's simple, it's routine, and it's boring.  But—whatever—I haven't missed a day of cloud kicking yet.”
“Er... .... ...W-Well that's the spirit!  I-I-I mean...eheheh...” He shakes his mane so that a few sparse gray hairs fall into the obscurity of its emerald rhythm.  “It's g-good to know that all those years of t-teaching you diligence and hard work has paid off!”
“Cloud kicking is lame; I'm just doing it to get by, Dad.”  She boredly glances at him, tucks the scroll-and-pen under her left wing, and begins trotting her way towards the door.  “You of all people should know what that kind of a life is like.  Anyways, thanks for the ink.  I need to get going--”
“Oh, b-b-b-but...er...” He hobbles briefly, pinned by a few parcels that he's accidentally piled too high on his head.  In a serpentine path, he limps towards the cart and nearly body-slams the careening tower of cartons into it, all the while his brown eyes remain nervously pinned on the image of his daughter.  “A-A-Aren't you gonna stay and chat?  I-I mean...eheh....” He gulps and smiles bravely.  “It's like we hardly ever see each other these days, Rainbea—Uhhh—R-Rainbow Dash!.... ....H-Honey!”
“Nnnngh....” Rainbow Dash exhales through thin nostrils.  “Chat about what?  You've got stuff to do.  And I--”
“But I-I'm never too busy for you!  I-I've never been too busy for—Wh-Wh-Whoah!”  Blue Farrier trips over a package, teeters, but steadies himself with two agile wings at the last second.  A deep breath, and he nuzzles the thing up and over the side of the cart with his snout while flashing a gentle smirk at the filly.  “I-I may be a bit clumsy—Eh heh—But busy?  Pfft.  Please...What's on your mind, darling?”
“Nothing's on my mind.  I don't need to talk, dad.  Thank you for the ink.  I just need to--”
“I overheard the fourth customer in a row this week chatting about y-your performance at the Best Young Flier Competition.”  Rainbow Dash moans into a facehoof as Blue Flier hovers before a workstation behind her, rummaging through packaging materials and carrying on:  “It just tickles me pink that my own little filly amazed so many Pegasi at once!  And they're still...nnngh--” He wrestles briefly with some packing tape and finishes wrapping a delivery.  “Snkkkt—whew--Th-They're still t-talking about it!  And to think that you conjured up that fantastic upside down tornado all by the sheer velocity of your wings!”
To this last bit, Rainbow Dash's eyes twitch.  Yet another groan.  “Dad, that wasn't me.  You're thinking about the Summer Sky Run.  It was Spitfire of the Wonderbolts who did the totally wicked Inverse Cyclone Roll before all of Cloudsdale!  I was there—In the stands.”
“Oh....Oh d-dear....” Blue taps a weathered hoof to his chin and gulps Rainbow's way.  “Wh-When was the Best Young Flier Competition?”
Her eyes are like twin violet mudholes.  “..... .... .... ...Four months ago.”
“Ah.... ...Eh heh heh.....Well, uh—I know for a fact th-that you did something spectacular and people were talking about it--”
“The Sonic Rainboom?” Dash raises an eyebrow.
“Is that similar to a—er--'Inverse Cyclops R-Roll'?”
“Ugh—It's nothing at all like—Mmmmmmm....” Rainbow Dash takes a few deep breaths, her wings drooping and almost dropping her scroll.  “Ahem.  Thanks for the 'talk', Dad.  But I really need to be going--”  She turns to the office door just in time to come face to face with a googly-eye'd monstrosity ramming full-force into the other side of the glass.  WHAM!  “AAA-AAACKIES!”
“It says 'pull', not 'push', Ditzy!”  Blue cheerfully sing-songs from where he stacks up another series of boxes.  He glances briefly over his shoulder with a pleasant smirk.  “Just use your memory, sweetie!”
“What was that, Mr. Farrier?”  The invasive body calls out muffledly from beyond the door, repeating the futile motions.  WHAM!  WHAM!  “Someone's 'accusing mammaries'?”
“Ughhh....” Rainbow rolls her eyes and gently pushes the still-vibrating door outward.  “Allow me.”
A gray, blonde-mane'd pegasus with lopside vision half-flies, half-spirals into the post office and hovers before the sapphire haze of Blue Farrier's body with a mail satchel hung upside down to emphatically show its emptiness.  “Second Route's done, Mr. Farrier!  Say—Did you know that something's wrong with your door?”
“Heheheh...” He smirks and is already nuzzling the next clump of deliveries into her bag.  “You remind me of that everyday, Miss Doo.  Let's see here...” He trots up and squints at a chart on the wall.  “Ah!  According to the schedule, you're making good time.  Why not break for fifteen minutes, Ditzy?  Help yourself to those--erm--whatever those little things are that you like to eat so much.”
“Oh boy!”  Ditzy Doo cheers, both hooves clasped together in midair. “Crackers!  Thank you, Mr. Farrier!”  She side-flies towards a breakroom adjacent to the post office.  Along the way, she smiles in Rainbow Dash's direction, neither of her wayward eyes quite specifically looking at her.  “Good morning to you, Mr. Squirrel!”
Rainbow Dash blinks, glances at herself in the reflective surface of a glass jar, flaps her multi-colored tail about for a few seconds, but ultimately just rolls her eyes.  “Yanno... ...Ditzy Doo nearly bungled Winter Wrap Up in Ponyville.”  She glares.  “Three years in a row.”
“Not all Pegasi are as sp-spectacular at flying as you, k-kiddo.”
“Yeah, Dad.  But there's unspectacular—And then there's downright lame.”
“There you go using that word again.  I'm really not all that fond of it.”
“What?  I just--”
“Unless it's used in the literal sense, I'd rather not hear it at all.”  He says in a decidedly solid voice for once, pushing the cart towards the back end of the office.  “I've seen many Earth Ponies in my day lamed by circumstances they couldn't control.  It makes life very tough for them—In ways neither you nor I could imagine.  It pains me to hear people making levity of the word, including my own daughter.”
“But even you gotta admit that there's some....” Rainbow Dash briefly squints towards the off-side workroom, then bows to utter her next few words in a lower voice:  “.. ....there's s-some chance of a royal screwup with letting someone like Ditzy Doo work in the frickin' postal service.”
“I bet you'd be surprised to know she outshines all the others in her work!”  Farrier smirks her way as he trots to another wall and pulls a rolling ladder out.  He awkwardly climbs it to reach a few more packages destined to the cart.  “She may not be so graceful, but she's punctual.  And in this field—eheheh--that's all that matters, really!  I know I've taught you many things when you were young, Rainbow.  But if there's anything I've hoped you'd latch onto—It's that everyone d-deserves a second chance to prove themselves.  Especially when th-they're surrounded by those who don't—well—who don't understand.”
“Have you ever thought of... ....Yanno....” Rainbow Dash clears her throat and bears a uniquely emphatic expression as she murmurs up to him:  “...--thought of taking a look at her 'condition', dad?”
“How d-d-do you mean, darling?”
“You know exactly what I mean.  You can... ....”  A deep breath.  “You could fix her.”
“Wh-What's to be fixed?  I t-told you that sh-she's good at what she does, didn't I?  Let's j-just leave things the way th-they're m-meant to be....”
“Yeah.  The way they're meant to be.... .... ...” Rainbow Dash mutters.  In a dull melancholy, her violet eyes fall down to the image on his weathered blue flank.  A 'horseshoe' entertwines with a 'medical cross', forming a very real but obviously faded cutie mark.  “Yanno, dad.  You could be so much more.”
“Mmmmm--”  He pulls his snout from a shelf and spits a few envelopes ungracefully into the cart beneath him.  “What was that?”
“You know as well as I do that you're not cut out for this.”
“F-For what, Rainbeam?”
“For this.”  She immediately frowns, pointing towards the walls of the post office with a stiff hoof.  “All of this!  Don't you ever get tired of this?  And don't pretend I'm not the only one who sees it!  I walk in and the first thing I see is you tripping over yourself!”
“I'll have y-y-you know that I'm excellent at th-this job!”  He says with a sheepish smile, all the while rattlingly dismounting from the ladder and trying to make up for it by trotting majestically towards the cart with the next stack of packages atop his teetering head.  “And m-maybe if—eheheh—if you v-v-visited me more often, you'd see that--”
“Ughhh—Don't turn the issue around, dad.  You can fool yourself, but you can't fool me.”
“Now Rainbow Dash, precious....” He sighs and marches over, nuzzling her as she frowns away from him.  “Life's a f-funny thing.  And, well—Maybe you'll figure this out when you're older, but... ...S-Sometimes when you need to do what's best for yourself, and for your family—or just when you need to put all of your letters into one basket, heh heh—You gotta put things into perspective, and settle for a normal life.”
“Pffft--!”  She immediately recoils from him.  “Dad, everyone knows what you settled for!  And--”  She once again jerks to look over her shoulder and leans in to add in a harsh whisper:  “--you think I managed any better knowing that when I was younger?  You think the other ponies treated me any better when they knew what I was, and that you just--?!”
“Whatever they may have thought or said about you, Rainbow Dash, they were wrong--”
“And a fat lot of good you did to show them, Dad!  It was up to me to be the tough one!”  She hisses back and folds her arms, glaring aside as her breaths rise and fall through her disturbed blue coat.  “It's always been up to me....”
Blue Farrier gazes at her, his mouth agape in the desperate attempt to find a retaliation.  As the seconds slither by, he becomes aware of the silence, and his eyes droop over the back of her neck aimed at him, the coldness in her shoulder, and the residual hint of fresh morning bruises on her cheek.  He gulps, gazes towards the floor and digs a hoof into the tile as he then summons a courageous smile from the depths of his weathered being, murmuring:
“Yanno....I... ....erhm.....I-I was going through th-the house the other day.  And...Uhm—I do hope you can forgive me, but—I made your bed again....”
“... ... ....” Rainbow Dash hangs her head with a muted sigh.  The shadows beneath her go through the same motions as they have for the past few years, or so her thin eyes tell her.
“N-Not that it wasn't m-made poorly the first time.  Just... ... ...Well, I r-realized that it's been a very, very long time since your room was redecorated.  And....eh-heh.... ...I-I have no problem doing it all by m-my lonesome.  But.....Yanno... ... ...It is your room, Rainbeam.  And I figure now's a g-good time to ask for your input.”
“Why does it matter?”
“Shouldn't it matter?  I-I mean, it's your b-bed, darling.  Heheh...”  Blue gulps and smiles nervously.  He doesn't make too great of an effort to hide the shakiness in his voice:  “Y-You're bound to use it again sometime.”
“Maybe if I feel like it.”  Rainbow mutters.
“Just.... .... ...It's b-been so long since the....” He gazes away from her.  “....s-since the last time you did--”
She squints at him.  “Is there a point to this guilt trip, dad?”
“Oh!  No no no no—No guilt trip—As a matter of f-fact....Uh...I.... ...Er....”  He grins lopsidedly.  “I-I'm glad that you're always out and about, honey!  It sh-shows how much you've... ...er...g-grown!  Yes, that's it....”
“I'm a Pegasus, dad.  Pegasi tend to sleep on clouds.  What good are clouds if they aren't for sleeping on?”
“So that's what you do?” He squints suddenly.  “You wander the skies, night after night?  Sleeping on random clouds?”
“Nnnnnnngh—Dad, please--”
“Cuz I was kind of beginning to imagine things!  H-H-Hoping for the b-best, that is.”
“The best?”
“Oh—Yanno—I dunno--” Blue shrugs.  “That you've started a new life, or maybe got that—uh—Wonderbolts invitation that you've always sought for.  Or—heheh—maybe you've met a handsome young colt who treats you r-right!”
“Ughh...” Rainbow Dash tosses her hooves and trots straight for the door.  “Seriously, dad, have you paid attention to anything ever?”
“B-B-B-But maybe if....if y-you were willing to chat more--”
“What, like this?”  Rainbow Dash frowns in the open doorway and motions with a wayward hoof.  “With you a nervous wreck and me about to explode?—Snkkt—Look, just forget it.  I got what I came for, and you—well—you already have all you need here, right?  Nnnngh—Good bye, dad.”  She takes one step out of the post office and immediately soars skyward with unfurling sapphire wings.
Blue Farrier stands in the center of the work area.  And as the rattling bell slows to a stop, he rides a current of gentle sighs, and stumbles back to the next task at hand.





“Sorry about the sudden break in the writing, Princess Celestia.  I briefly suffered a 'bout of Inkus interuptus.  But I've refilled my pen three times over now, and—for what it's worth—it looks like I'm going to complete this catastrophe that Twilight Sparkle has elected me to do.  Just what was I writing about last?  Let me check the last page—Oh right, my feelings on Apple Jack.
“Apple Jack smells like hay.  There you have it.
“Princess Celestia, I gotta ask; do you ever get sick of Canterlot?  I mean, it's a pretty nifty place—I've been over all that already.  But still, it is only just one place.  Being the ruler of Equestria kind of means that you've got very few choices in vacation spots, huh?  I know you probably have some really wise thing to say that would prove me wrong here—but it's really gotta stink to be stuck in one spot your entire life.  And I know you've lived a very long time; Twilight's told me.  Just old are you again?  Sixty-two?
“I could never live in one place.  It would be far too boring, far too average, far too predictable.  I thank my lucky stars everyday that I'm not an Earth Pony.  I know that sounds really horrible—probably because it is—but what I mean to say is:  to not be able to fly must be the trots, literally.  Still, I've met many an Earth Pony since I became head weather flier of Ponyville, and they all seem to be pretty dang happy with the jobs that they do and with the roofs that they have over their heads and whatnot.  That's all well and good for them—but I'm willing to bet most if not all of them have never flown before.  And once an Earth Pony has tasted flight, or a Unicorn for that matter—and the places that wings can take them—there's no way one would willingly go back to being anchored to the ground.  I kind of know this first hoof, cuz it happened to Rarity when she briefly got wings for an afternoon.  But that's a long story and I've long since forgiven the silly sap over all the kerflufficon that happened between us that one day, even if she is a vampire.
“I know I keep going on tangents, Princess, but Twilight told me to 'write from the heart', so please frickin' bear with me on this:  I like to say the word 'lame' a lot.  And I know that, in some circles, ponies are known to get a bit offended by the word.  I usually don't think much of it.  But now that I put my mind to it—I don't know what I would do if suddenly one of my wings refused to work.  There are a few Pegasi I know whom have had that happen to them.  It's very lam—er....'sad', to say the least.  I've always felt bad for them, but I haven't really thought about what it if could actually happen to me too.  It's kind of scary; makes life look like a different color.
“Come to think of it, you don't have to have a broken leg or a bad wing for you to be 'lame'.  I kind of think that some ponies' lives are 'lame', so to speak.  Sometimes they're lame and they don't even know it.  Some are even born that way.  Perhaps I'm thinking too hard on it, but it really makes me HEYRAINBOWDASH WHATAREYOUDOING HUHHUHHUHHUH--?”






A flurry of wispy white.  Rainbow Dash blinks up from her parchment of paper.  She glances around the cloud that she is lying on over the western outskirts of Ponyville.  A blue sky hangs overhead, warmed majestically by the noonday Sun.  She taps her pen against the paper and squints at the subtle mist acting as a bedding beneath her folded hooves.  Everything is silent; everything is still.
“Okay... ... ...Where the heck did that come from--?”
Pinkie Pie's head resurfaces once more from beneath the cloud bank:
“Aren'tyougonnaanswerme?  HuhHuhHuh?  Whatchadoing?”
“Whoa—AAAAAH-Aaack!” Rainbow Dash nearly pratfalls off the cloud.  Her chest rises and falls in palpitations as she watches with pixelated eyes, observing the careening image of Pinkie Pie's head plowing through the top surface of the cloud like a shark's dorsal fin.  “Pinkie Pie—What... ...It.... ...Where.... ...How... ....” She frowns.  “No.”
“Heeheeheehee—Hiyaaaaa Rainbow Dash!  How are you doing, bestest most besteriffickest friend in the whole wide of Equestriaaaaa-aaaaA-Ee-Ee-eE-eE”  She suddenly teeters to the right, then teeters to the left, bugeyed.  “Uuuh—uuh—uuh--uuh!”  Then finally uprights herself so her shoulders and chin are leveled above the clouds.  “Whew.....”  A bounce, blue eyes bulging brightly.  “So how's the most awesomest friend ever?”
“Pinkie Pie.....”
“You know why you're the most awesomest friend?  Well, I'll tell you why you're the most awesomesterifical friend!”  She bobs back and forth as if levitating magically beneath the cloud.  “Cuz you did this really super crazy fantastical sonic rainboom when you were only eight and it got me my cutie mark and all our friends too which gave us a magical connection and also amazes me cuz if you did that at age eight then that must make you older than me even though I always thought I was older than you but I don't mean anything bad by that—I would love to be your young baby sister and go shopping and cheer for you at the Best Flier Competitions and--*GASSSSP*--do you think they sell hoofgliders in Canterlot?--cuz I could so use one to watch you the next time you soar high and perform the most amazing awesome friend-making Sonic Rainboom AGAIN—and as much as I loved the spell that Twilight once put on the whole bunch of us including Rarity—though she gave Rarity wings that were very icky insect wings but still kind of pretty—I'd much rather not be sitting in one place as I watch you do your amazing super crazy spectacular stunts in mid air: Zoom!  Zooooom!  Zweeeeee!  Hee hee hee ha ha ha!”
“Pinke Pie... ... ....”
“Say Rainbow Dash, do you do other awesome spectacular pony-bonding threads of fate stuff OTHER than the Sonic Rainboom?  How about a Sonic Caramel Cloud Burst that brings long lost twins together across impossible distances so that we can have double birthday parties or—SQUE-E-E-E--double surprise birthday parties?--cuz I always felt that surprise birthday parties were one hundred times more superdeliciously fantastic than regular birthday parties except for that one time that you and the rest of the girls were so tremendously nice to have thrown me a surprise birthday party but I was all 'RAAAUGH' and you were all 'LOOK AND SEE' and I was all 'NO UUUUU' and then I realized that I was being a Grumpy McGrumpy Side Saddle for no reason and you all forgave me and we did the pony train trot and Gummy swallowed a balloon and I had to take him with Fluttershy to the vet the next day and they asked me why all his teeth were missing and I told the doctor 'because he's a baby, silly billy' and the doctor said 'he's fifty-two in alligator years, where's his dang teeth' and I giggled and said 'silly doctors, alligators don't keep calendars' and then the vet got angry and threw us both out and Fluttershy cried and I felt bad so I threw her a SURPRISE TRIPLE BIRTHDAY PARTY even if it was two hundred and twenty-five days in advance or six hundred and seventy-five days if you triple it....”
“Pinkie Pie!”
“Aaaannnnnd--”  The fuschia haired Earth Pony's skull pauses in mid teeter.  She snaps her jaw shut, inhales, and grins wide.  “Yes, Rainbow Dash?”
“One word.”  She blinks down at her from the cloud.  “How.”
“How now brown cow?  Heeheehee--”
“No.  Just how.”  Rainbow glares squinting daggers.
“Wellllllllllll---”  Pinkie Pash teeters, teeters, teeters back and leans out from the edge of the cloud.  “Stilts is how!  Ta-daaaa!”  Rainbow Dash's eyes bulge to observe two pairs of red colored wooden poles of indescribably tall height fastened to each of Pinkie's four horseshoes.  “I made these last summer when I was thinking of walking across the Ocean but then I remembered that I was afraid of jellyfish—Hey!”  Pinkie randomly grins even wider.  “Do you think that sea sponges can talk?”
“Goddess, I hope not.”  Rainbow Dash squints down at the sheer altitude climb of the precarious footwear.  She scratches her scalp and glances Pinkie's way.  “Just how did you put them on?”
“Well, I was gonna stick them standing up in the center of Ponyville and ask you to give me a lift on top of them but you were nowhere to be found so I figured you were busy and instead I went to Sugarcube corner and had myself a really talllllll glass of orange sherbert!   Mmmm-mmmm!”
“But...”  Rainbow blinks.  “How did eating orange sherbert help you get the stilts on?”
“Heeheehee—Silly Rainbow.”  Pinkie Pie taps a disgruntled Pegasus on the noggin.  “Sherbert can't wear stilts!”
“.... ... ... ...Right.”  Rainbow clears her throat.  “Must be hard to get out of.”
“Get out of--”  Pinkie Pie blinks.  “Oh.  I didn't really think about that part.”
“Well, when you have to go to the bathroom, do you shout 'Geronimo' on a bullhorn?” Rainbow covers her mouth with a hoof.  “Snkkkkt—heheheh.”
“Heheheheheheheheheh--”  Pinkie Pie blinks.  “I don't get it.”
“Ahem.  So.... ...Uh... ...Y-You sure that's safe and stuff?”
“No problemo!”  Pinkie Pie turns her snout up proudly and trots forward bobblingly.  “Your Auntie Pinkie is resourceful!  I've got this completely under control—OHCELESTIA HELPME I'MFALLING I'MGONNADIE—Oh, there we go!  See?  Balanced like a foal's crib!”
Rainbow Dash sweatdrops.  “Uhhhh huh....”  She finally relents to folding her scroll of parchment up and muttering:  “So, here's another question—Why?”
Pinkie daredevilishly bucks her rear quarters up, two of the stilts mercilessly knifing the tops of several leafy trees.  “See this saddlebag I'm carrying around?”
“I do now.  Honestly, I was kinda distracted for a moment there.”
“Well I'm making a super speedy delivery for the Sugarcube corner!  A very special super speedy delivery!”  Thud!  The earth shakes as Pinkie's rear hooves touch back down.  “It's a bag of cinnamon sticks destined for Zecora's place?”
Dash does a double take.  “Zecora ordered cinnamon sticks from the Sugarcube Corner?”
“Inorite?”  Pinkie Pie giggles and bounce-bounce-bounces on the stilts around Rainbow's cloud. Thud!  Thud!  Thud!  “And as many times as I've been deep inside the Everfree Forest, I always seem to get lost in there!  So I thought to myself 'well, if I could see all of the forest from REALLY HIGH then I would be able to find my way in and back out'!  So I had some orange sherbert and here I am!  Heeheehee!”  She bounced to a peetering stance.  Th-Thud!  “Neat, huh?”
“Nice to know you think with your head as much as with your tongue these days.”
“But I gotta make time!”  Pinkie tilts towards Rainbow Dash with blue eyes sparkling.  “Cuz not only do I have to be timely with this delivery for Zecora's sake but I also have to be back in Ponyville in time for a SUPER DUPER SECRET meeting that we are having tonight and when I say 'we' I mean me, Gummy, and the stilts!”  With each prolonged clause in her running dialogue, she leans and leans and leans and leans more forward.  “And if I don't make it back in time for the SUPER DUPER SECRET meeting, then I'll be SUPER DUPER not so SECRETLY ashamed of myself—though I think I would do a decent job of hiding it so long as I sing a song though I think my voice is gonna get hoarse from all this high altitude breathing--”
Rainbow Dash cooly plants a hoof on Pinkie's skull and slowly tilts her back into balance.  “Well, how about this—Pinkie Pie...?”  She smiles calmly at her friend.  “Ditch the stilts, and let someone with real altitude advantage help you in and out of Everfree to make the delivery to Zecora.”
“Ohhhhhhhhh—Rainbow Dash, that is so incredibly sweet.”  A deep breath.  “ButIhatetobeimposing andyouseemawfullybusywith whateveritisthatyou'rewriting andIhatetobea rudeyrudeynogoodygoody!”
The blue Pegasus blinked.  “What?”
“You WILL go with me to Everfree?  Yaaay!--WhoahWhoahWhoah--”  Pinkie Pie teeters back.
Rainbow Dash easily catches her, wings flapping.  “Easy there, ace.  No need for Equestria's legendary Pinkie Pie to go Splat.”
“I would never do that in public!”  Pinkie suddenly frowns, hooves crossed.  “I was raised a proper filly!”
Rainbow rolls her eyes as she kicks the stilts out from under the bubbly pony and lowers herself and Pinkie down to the ground beside the edge of the Everfree forest.  “Pinkie Pie, I like to think that Mother Nature secretly foaled you as a Pegasus, only she hid the wings in your mouth.”
“Ooooooh!  Does that mean my tongue can join the Wonderbolts?”
“If it has a snowflake's chance in heck of beating mine—Then sure!”  Rainbow Dash smiles, then grimaces as the stilts finish their twenty second plummet and crash across the plains of Equestria behind her.  (THUDDD!  CRASSSSH!  CRKKKK!  “Meowwww!”)  “......eh heh heh.”






“Dear Princess Celestia, have you ever wanted to kill somepony?
“Okay, let me put that into context.  Have you ever met somepony who was so annoying, so in-your-face-excitable, so bubbly and jumpy, so non-stop talkative and sugar-coatedly enthusiastic about everything; that to silence the pulsing blood in your brain arteries you kind of just want to shove that pony down the deepest well imaginable?  And yet you don't do that because you realize that the very same most annoying thing in the world is at the same time the most joyful thing in the world and you're both blessed and cursed but altogether alive to be within the presence of it.... ...or in this case her.... ... ...or in this very special case, Pinkie Pie.
“I met Pinkie Pie before any other Earth Pony in Ponyville.  She's always been rather hard to avoid.  She's got a built-in twitching radar and a friendly spirit so neighborly that she could hit your skull with a greeting card from six dozen yards.  If so much as a flea hops across the boundary of Ponyville city limits, Pinkie Pie will be there with balloons and party favors, singing it the Welcome Song.  And she rewrites the song every year.  Last year it was in Acapella.  It was the first time I ever truly considered drowning myself.
“But I do hope I'm not painting too terribly bad of a picture of Pinkie Pie.  I guess you could say that she's the heart of the kind of a letter Twilight wants me to be writing, cuz it's only by the 'cosmic power of friendship' or whatever that I've gotten used to her at all.  What I mean is, at first I couldn't stand Pinkie.  I even tried to fly away from her—at top flight speed, mind you.  And still she always managed to be a hop, skip, and jump ahead of me at every blink, smiling and wanting to hang out.  But yeah, I've since come to like being around her.  And it's not just cuz the other girls 'liked her first' or something, cuz then that'd be pathetic....like Neightzschean herd instinct or something.  Gawwwwd, Twilight's infecting me.
“As it turns out, when you actually try and get to know someone, even if you don't want to at first, you'll likely find out that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else but with that certain someone.  Taking such a bold step like that takes—well—it takes guts, or at least a different kind of guts than I'm typically proud of.  Years ago, I would never have bothered so much as looking twice at someone like Pinkie Pie and seeing her as a friend.  But lately—I dunno—it's gotten easier to float down to the Earth and shake a hoof and make new friends.  I'm not entirely sure why that is the case in my life these days.  Maybe that's what Twilight is hoping I could find out for you.  Who knows; maybe after I've written about all of these crazy ponies I've fallen into the laps of, I'll be able to explain it to myself as well as to you.
“Or maybe I'll get writer's cramp in the hoof.  Yeah.  Definitely that.  Ugh.”






“Rainbow Dash?”
“Yes, Pinkie?”
“How do porcupines make babies?”
“I—dghht—Hctt—Huh??” Rainbow Dash shakes her head and gives her friend a crooked glance.  “Pinkie, are you even trying anymore?”
“Trying to deliver cinammon sticks to Zecora?  Of course!”  Pinkie Pie winks, wriggling her flank to show the saddle bag slung over her.  “That's why you're along to begin with, silly-filly!  To help me find my way!  Hee hee hee!”
“No—I was talking about---Ughhhh....” Rainbow rolls her eyes and smirks helplessly.  “I'm pretty sure you can walk the Everfree Forest alone just fine, Pinkie Pie.  The first monster that hops out and eats you would burst its sweet tooth and burp you back out.”
“Speaking of—Ohhhhh....!” Pinkie pouts, glancing around at the dense and cobweb'd green foliage hanging around them on either side of the meager 'path'.  “I'm lost already!  I feel like a needle in a haystack!”  She pauses momentarily to scratch her chin in thought.  “Just why are needles always finding their way into haystacks anyways?”
“Because the haystacks struggle with a busy road schedule?”
“Huh?”
“Nothing—Lemme climb again and get another look!”  Rainbow Dash takes off.
“Okie dokie lokie!”  Pinkie Pie trots gaily with a smile.
The blue Pegasus hovers high over the tree canopy and slowly spins around, scanning the local horizon with her thin violet eyes.  “What I wouldn't kill to have my old goggles right about now.....”
“What was that, Dashie?”
“Hey, paint me stupid—But just what does Zecora's house look like again?”
“She lives in a tree!”
Rainbow Dash blinks blankly at the endless leafy rooftop surrounding her.  “..... ....Yeah.”
“A big scary tree!”
“Right, Pinkie, thanks--”
“A big scary tree with SCARY LEAVES on it--!”
“THANK YOU, Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow sighs and hovers high above her fuchsia friend as she continues her high altitude scan.  “Zecora's a funky kind of a gal.  Maybe if I clapped my hooves, her home would light up—Hello!”  The Pegasus' vision narrows in on a twisted, gnarled thing at least two clicks to the north.  “Uhhh—Hey Pinkie?”
“Hey Dashie!”
“She's got a mask on her front door, right?”
“Why, is the front door ugly?”
“Tchh—Just answer the question!”
“Yes!  I do believe I remember a mask and a door!... ... ....and a walrus!”
“Uh huh—Whatever...”  Rainbow cries down:  “Hang a right and then follow the cleft in the forest as it bends to the left!”
“Roger Wilbur!”
The blue Pegasus shakes her head with a smirk.  She makes to dive down when her eyes spot something.  She blinks steadily, and a cold breath slowly escapes from her nostrils in the form of a deep and hollow sigh.  Half a kilometer to the south—beyond normal pony eyesight, but exactly where she and only she can spot it—is a hilltop, and beneath it a clearing, and in that clearing rests the dilapidated remains of wooden stables, smashed apart as if from the inside out.  Rainbow Dash's violet eyes dim slightly, but the edges of her lip form into an undaunted frown, ushering in a barely noticeable but very real growl rising up from the inner depths of her being.
“Dashiiiiie?  You gonna come with?”
Rainbow Dash snaps out of it.  “Er—Y-Yeah, Pinkie!”  She clears a frog in her throat and zooms downward with majestic wings so that she rejoins the Earth Pony's side in a graceful touch down.  “Hope you didn't grow old while I was gone.”
“Heeheehee.....” Pinkie suddenly and uninvitingly nuzzles the side of Dash's mane.  “Mmmmmm.”
Rainbow Dash blinks crookedly and looks at her with a sideways smirk.  “Now what's gotten into you?”
“I just can't stop thinking about how super awesome a friend you are!”
“Oh puhleeeease, Pinkie...” Dash rolls her eyes and smiles forward as they trot along.  “You know how much ponies with blue coats hate being forced to blush.”
“I mean it!  Everything we learned about yesterday!  About you with the sonic rainboom and how it gave me my cutie mark!  Oh, and then it gave Fluttershy her cutie mark!  OH!  Th-Then it gave Twilight her cutie mark!  Oh, and there was Rarity and Apple Jack—And you can never guess what!”
“They got their cutie marks....?”  Rainbow drones.
Pinkie Pie goes cross-eyed briefly.  “Actually, I was gonna say 'a rock and a bunch of apples'--”  She brightens, hopping.  “But yes!  They got their cutie mark!  And it's all thanks to you!”
“Pfft.  Ain't no big deal.”  Rainbow Dash mutters—but then widens her eyes as Pinkie Pie is suddenly in her face, bouncing backwards.
“Ain't no big deal?  Didn't you hear what Rarity said yesterday in the Sugarcube Corner when it all hit us?  We've been BFFs forever and we didn't even know it!  And it was all the doing of your Sonic Rainboom--”  She twists her nose towards the shadowy heights of the forest canopy.  “No, wait--”  She gasps brightly.  “Sonic Friendboom!  Cuz you totally reached out to all of us and made us go 'BOOM'!  With Friendship!”
“So it was a fortunate side effect of me being awesome!”  Rainbow Dash shrugs.  “Nothing to write a song about--”
“Ohhhh-weeee-ohhhh—I look just like Rainbow Dashiiiiie!”  Pinkie cartwheels around her friend.
“Ughhhh—Gawd.”
“Uhhhh-Ohhhh—And you're Mare-y Tyler BOOM!” Pie's carthweeling is frozen in place by a blue hoof'd speed spike.
“I wasn't reaching out to anyone!”  Rainbow Dash wags an eyebrow for emphasis.  “I was just doing my thing!  But suddenly you and Twilight all the other girls think that some cosmic event folded us together like a big pink ribbon—”  She goes cross-eyed at her own words and makes a vomity grimace.  “Bleahhh—You see, this is why I'm never poetic.”
Pinkie Pie back flips off Dash's hoof and skips alongside her.  “You mean to say you think what happened cuz of your Sonic Rainboom isn't special?”
“NO!  I—tchh.....nnngh...” Rainbow Dash briefly bows her head before taking a deep breath and smiling exasperatingly at her friend.  “Look—It's an awesome thing that happened.  But just because it happened doesn't mean it's any more special than the fact that the finding of the Elements of Harmony happened—Or that of you adopting Gummy happened—Or that of....uh...uhh ... ...Big Macintosh being caught cross-hoofing happened--”
Pinkie Pie does a double-take.  “Wh-What?”
“Er, sorry,” Rainbow blushes.  “Last 'scenario' was random on my part.  What do you think?”
Pinkamena Eyes:  “You stink at random.”
“Th-thanks for the honesty.” The Pegasus sweatdrops.
“No big dealio, girlio!” Pinkie hops around her.  “But I really think you should take a second look at things, Dashie!  See it all from the bright side and realize that we're all connected by a fancy fantastic phantasmagorical bondity-boo!”
“And I think you should stop hopping around or else those cinnamon sticks are gonna become cinnamon crunch.”
“But just what if it was all meant to happen the way it did?  I don't know if I ever told you—But before I saw what I now know is the Sonic Rainboom, I was a completely different filly altogether!”  Her eyes sparkled in brief melancholic earnest.  “A sad filly!”
“Really....?”  Rainbow Dash smirks and rolls her eyes.  “I had no idea.”
“No really!  We weren't allowed to laugh or to sing or to dance or to make miniature airplanes with our food or to even paint--” (GASSSSP)  “Why, before your Sonic Rainboom came into my life, the most color I'd ever seen was in the family outhouse!”
“Jee....” Dash grimaces.  “You're...uh....welcome?”
“Seriously!  It was like an entirely different world!  Gray dirt and black skies as far as one could see!  Can you even imagine that, Rainbow?  NothatI'mtryingtomakeyoupitymeorsomethingcuzthatwouldbedownrightcruel—But just imagine!”
“A wise sage once said:  'Shadows fall after the hurt is gone.  Through it all we love and we lose'.”
“Wow.  I didn't realize you were so deep, Dash!”
“I'd rather be deep than wide,” Rainbow says, then squints Pinkie's way.  “So—Was it true that you actually lived on a rock farm?”
“Uh huh!”
“And just what did you make with the rocks?”
“Ermmmmm---B-Bigger rocks?”  Pinkie smiled wide.
“Hmmph....” Rainbow shrugs.  “Guess I fell right into that one.”
“Heeheehee!  Saaaaaaaay—After helping me make this delivery to Zecora, what did you plan to do tonight, Dashie?  Huh?  Huh?”
“The same thing we do every night, Pinkie---”  Rainbow Dash pauses in mid speech, glances at us, then shakes her head.  “Ahem—Maybe hang at the Sugarcube corner, show Fluttershy my latest air stunt moves, sleep on a cloud—Preferrably the last one.  I haven't done that since this morning and I like to fill my quota.”
“Well, I would love it ever so much if I could hang with you buttttttttttttt--”  She twirls in mid trot and winks Dash's way.  “--I'm gonna be busy as a two tailed beaver with the SUPER DUPER SECRET meeting I'm in charge of arranging and I won't have time to fling my hooves in any more than sixteen directions—Wait....”  She searches the edges of her skull with fishbowling eyes.  “Four hooves by four hooves—Yup!  Sixteenaroonie!”
“Well....d'ummm....” Rainbow Dash runs a hoof through her mane.  “Did you—like, I dunno—need help setting up this meetin--?”
“NOOOO!”  Pinkie's head dhalsims around and stares down Rainbow's skull.  “For it is SUPER DUPER SECRET and only those allowed into the SUPER DUPER SECRET TRUTH CIRCLE must know its SUPER DUPER nature FOREVERRR---..... .... ....Super Duperly.”  She blinks skyward as Rainbow Dash nervously sweatdrops, and suddenly smiles again:  “But perhaps Auntie Pinkie Pie could help you with that letter you're writing?”
“No, I—Snkkkkt--” Dash frowns at her.  “And just how do you know about the letter?”
“What letter?”  Pinkie blinks.
“.... ... ... ....” The blue pegasus boredly looks ahead.  She drones:  “Oh look.  We're here.”
“Ah!  The mask!”  Pinkie Pie bounces into place before the gnarled tree that is Zecora's residence.  Indeed, there is a scary tribal mask hanging over the top of the door, just above a hollow window pane.  “And see?  There's the walrus!”  Pinkie points to the right.  An invisible camera pans to the right to reveal a fat wicker 'figure' with a pair of tusks protruding from its cranium.
“Wow....”  Dash boredly trots up in front of it.  “So.......lifelike...”
A beat.  Thud!  The wicker effigy spontaneously falls over.
“Must be a drunk walrus!” Pinkie beams.
“Ughh...let's just knock on the door,” Dash marches up and does the honors.
Not too long after the rhythm of the pegasus' hoof to the wood, and a thickly accented voice throats from deep within the residence:  “Come, ponies, come in swiftly.  And allow me to inspect your delivery.”
“You know, just a simple 'come in' would do!”  Rainbow balks as she opens the door to reveal Zecora standing over a bubbling cauldron.
The earpierced, mohawked Zebra merely smiles as they enter:  “But what better way to smile and greet you!”
“UGH!”  Dash nearly pratfalls, clasping a hoof over her heart.  “She totally got me!”
“Oh, she's gooooood!” Pinkie Pie giggles.
“Not good.”  Dash folds her hooves and closes the door behind them with a rear hoof.  “Just predictable....”
“Hmmm-Hmmm-Hmmm...” Zecora tosses a few herbs into her indiscernible quaff and stirs briefly before opening her mouth to speak:  “Rainbow Dash, ever so sardonic; What a surprise to you see assist with my tonic!”
“With your what-now?” Dash raises an eyebrow.
Pinkie hops over to her.  “Ooooh!  I get it!  The cinammon sticks—You need it for this stuff you're stirring, huh?!”
“If you refer to my brew, then you'd be correct.  But allow a customer her chance to collect.”
“Collect?”  Pinkie Pie blinks.  “Collect what?”
Rainbow Dash points boredly at her saddle.  “The bag.”
“Ohh!  I'm such a silly billy filly!”  Pinkie yanks her snout back, opens the satchel, and holds the bundle of flavored sticks towards Zecora's eyes with her teeth.  “Ferrff arf tehff Thinamonnff fthitckf ouf ohduffed!”
Zecora leans in and squints at the 'product'.  She grins wide and mutters something happily in her native language before winking in Rainbow's direction.  “At last, I can see before my eyes!  My people's key to dead weeds and blue skies!”
Dash looks confused.  “Okay, Zecora—Now you're, like, totally throwing us for a loop.”
“Miffe mouff eff begiffen doof waduff!”
“Yeah, that too.”
“Surely you two remember the poison joke of great terror!”
“Pffft—And how.  One whiff of that blue stuff and I thought I was about to fly straight into the Sun.  Which would be pretty cool, mind you, but I'm sure Princess Celestia would object.”
“Well in my home land of Zebrahara, there is a plant of a similar aura.  For countless winters it has brought strife to every Zebra who only wanted to live his or her life!”  Zecora trots around to the far end of the tree hollow laden with masks and ritualistic artefacts.  Grabbing a book from a shelf, she lays it out on a podium before Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, displaying a series of blue vines spilling out from a majestic, trapezoidal pyramid structure erected in the middle of a sandy desert.  “Behold, the most sacred building of my kin:  The Temple of Shadows, where all shades begin.  In years of late it has met a wicked fate.  For a poison joke of a different vein has driven several worshipping tribes insane.”
“And.... ....uh.... ...” Rainbow Dash blinks from the book to Zecora and back to the book.  “... ...you've found a way to kill off the poison desert vines with---er--cinammon sticks?”
“Enddff enff fbeakunff eghff thinamouff thiffgff, Eff gouff ouffh thogg thelfft!”
“It's the very reason to Ponyville I came.”  Zecora slaps the book shut and carries it back to its original place.  “To experiment on weeds of a different name!”
“H-Hey!”  Rainbow momentarily brightens, wings fluttering.  “So—I-I guess the other ponies and I sort of helped you in a way!  Er...”  She blushes a bit and scratches her left hoof with her right, shamefully.  “In that we were totally your guinea pigs for a day or two, r-right?”
“Hmm-Hmm-Hmmm....” Zecora makes a chuckling noise and nods.  “Though the joke was ever so briefly on you, it has greatly helped me come up with this stew.”  She blinks, takes a fateful look at the cinammon-teething Pinkie Pie, smiles nervously, and removes the sticks from her mouth.
Pinkie Pie gasps dramatically, then glances down at her bespeckled tongue.  “Mmmm—Hey!  My mouth is happy!”
“Yeah, who would have imagined--”  Rainbow Dash begins but suddenly jumps as her companions jolts uncontrollably.
“Nnngh—Oooh!  Twitcha-Twitch!”
“Great galloping sand clout!” Zecora nervously rears her hooves.  “What is she going on about?”
“'Pinkie Pie Sense'....” Rainbow drones as she points a hoof at her vibrating friend.  “Let's see you make a brew for that.”  Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie gasps, sputters, and exhales sharply as her body shudders through her ears, then through bulging eyes, then a shaking pair of front hooves.  “Huhhh...” Rainbow scratches her chin.  “Just which one was that again--?”
THUD!  The door to the hut suddenly reopens, taking Rainbow with it on a one-way-ticket into a nearby wall.  A darkly robed figure clops in and yanks his hood loose.  “Zecora!  Hail from the Shadows, girl!”
“Tetramun!”  Zecora brightens and gallops towards this sudden stranger.  The two brace their hooves together and nuzzle each other's manes before exchanging a chatterific diatribe of foreign tongue.  The front door rolls back on its hinges, and a twitching and slightly squished Rainbow Dash limps back into the main breadth of the room.
“Dashie—You okay?”  Pinkie licks the last of the cinammon dust from her lips and frolics over.  “That looked like a doozie!”
“I'm suddenly regretting the 'sky doors' joke.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind, wrong chapter...” Rainbow Dash shakes the googly eyes out of her skull, blinks, and jumps.  “Whoah!  Zecora!  There're two of you!”
Two zebras stare in her direction.  One, a not so familiar male.  The other, a slightly more familiar female who trots up:  “Eh!  Double, you think you see!  But I assure you; only family!”
“Yeah, no kidding?”
“Oooh!  Oooh!  Omigosh!”  Pinkie bounds and bounces in place.  “Lemme guess—Your husband?  Mr. Zecora??”
The male Zebra squints curiously at Zecora.  She leans in and whispers into his twitching ears.  After hearing her translation, he raises his snout to the roof and laughs merrily.  Catching his breath, he strolls up and bows slightly.  “I am....ehhh—as you say 'humored', but also humbled.  My name is Tetramun.  And if you must—ehh—know, I am Zecora's 'cousin'.  Yes, cousin.”
Pinkie Pie blinks steadily.  “Zecora's married to her cousin--?”  Plop!  Rainbow Dash's hoof finds its way into Pinkie's mouth.
“Eh heh heh—I'm Rainbow Dash, the coolest Pegasus in all of Ponyville and Cloudsdale and Equestria blah blah blah—And THIS talkative ball of fuzz is my good but giddy friend, Pinkie Pie.”
“Deffh tathhf geoff wike duh thennamonf!”
Tetramun nods his head and smiles.  “Pleased to meet you....uhh....two fine squirrels.”
Zecora hisses and leans her head into his.  “Non!  Non!  Ponieeeees!”
Tetramun's stripes buckle under a deep red blush.  “Oh.  Ehh—M-My sincere apologies.  You are both fine and---err--d-distinguished 'ponies'.  Please do forgive me; I am not from around here.”
POP!  “You're from the Zebrahara, aren't you?”  Pinkie Pie grins wide.
Dash wipes the pony drool off her hoof and smirks.  “We could tell from how you use the left lane when you walk around the room.”
“Heheheh—Such strange yet pleasant fillies!”  Tetramun turns to face his fairer cousin and smiles.  “And I would very gladly like to know more about all of your—ehh—acquaintances here in the Ville of Ponies, dearest cousin.  But I came with great haste from quite a distance because of your letter.  By the Shadows—Tell me!”  He leans forward with blazing eyes of earnest.  “Is it true that you've made the brew?”
Zecora claps her hooves with a briefly uncharacteristic enthusiasm.  “Oh, I bring you good tidings, Tetramun!”  She eagerly grabs and displays the stalks in question.  “The cure to the Blue Joke is cinnamon!”
“Ohhhh ho ho ho ho....” Rainbow Dash eyes the walls, ceiling, walls, and floor in that order.  “Shoulda seen that from a mile away.”  She smirks.
“Cinnamon...” The he-Zebra stares at the item in Zecora's grasp.  “So this is the answer we've all sought......”
“And to think that all our fears were for naught!”
“Zechy!”  He hisses at her, sighing embarrassingly.
Rainbow Dash trots up.  “That kinda brings up a good point.”  She squints suspiciously at the newcomer.  “How come you don't speak in rhyme like Zechy—Er—Zecora here?”
Tetramun smiles as his cousin proceeds to add some of the Sugarcube delivery into the cauldron.  “Zecora is a---how do you say it(?)--'most learned scholar' from our lands.  She is most gifted in incantations.  She has to be!  She is heir to the throne of Head Shamanista in our tribe!”
“H-Hey....” Rainbow smirks.  “Way to go Zechy!”
“Unnngh...” Zecora briefly rolls her eyes but blushes slightly as she continues administering to the brew.
Tetramun continues:  “To prepare for the one day that she does her shamanistic duties among my people, Zecora speaks in a dancing tongue to help her....ehhh.....concentrate better.  You see, where we come from, it is a sin to waste words when aiding the health of the tribe!”
“You don't say....?”  Rainbow Dash smirks the female Zebra's way.  “Hey!  Zecora, Mistress of Rhymes, finish this phrase for me!”  She clears her throat:  “'There once was was a dashing blue pegasus, who pulled up her saddle and flashed her--”
“Alas!  I forgot I had one last thing in store!”  Zecora gasps and gallops across the interior and rummages through a table of miscellaneous ingredients.  “A symbol of my gratitude and more!”
“I'm.... ...A little confused....” Rainbow blinks.  Pinkie Pie bumps into her.  She turns and frowns at the fuchsia pony.  “Hey!  Pssst!  Pinkie!”  She whispers hoarsely.  “Put those down!”
The curly-haired filly is teetering left and right on her hind quarters, balancing a scary mask on the tip of her nose.  “I-I cannot help it!  It fell on me and I'm scared that if it touches the floor, zombies will sprout up!”
“You're gonna break something--” Rainbow Dash turns back and blinks to see Zecora's snout in her face, and balanced between her eyes is a huge sparkling diamond.  “Whoah!  Hello there!”
“As it was your unicorn friend from the Carousel Boutique that so purchased the cinnamon that I seek, I felt it best to pay her back with a fortune she might lack!” She flips the diamond the blue Pegasus' way.
“Wow...” Rainbow Dash catches it on a balancing wing.  “So it was Rarity who paid for the Surgarcube corner delivery?  That's pretty nifty.  Though—heheh....” Rainbow smirks at Zecora as she bounces the diamond from wing to wing.  “...I can't say that diamonds are as valuable to us here in Ponyville as cinnamon is to the Shadow Temple Bingo Night back in Zebrahara.  I mean, you can't swing a dead cat around here without running into a ruby or an emerald.  Otherwise, Twilight's pet lizard would starve to death.”
“Rainbow Dasssssshhh--” Pinkie Pie whimpers from where she teeters, suddenly balancing half a dozen masks spinning on top of her nose and left and right hooves.  “--Just be a niiiice ponyyyy and t-take the diamond for Rarityyyy—whoahwhoahwhoah--”
“Pinkie!  I told you about the masks, girl!”
“It keeps happening!”  She goes bug-eyed, trips, plunges, and falls in a heap of clattering masks in the corner of the building.  “Whoahhh!”  Th-Thud!  “Don't hurt me, zombies!  No brains!  No brains!”
Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes and wing-bounces the diamond one last time before catching it securely in her multi-colored tail.  “Thanks for being so nice and all, Zecora.  I'm sure Rarity will love the diamond.  She'll 'ooh' and 'aah' all over it before stitching together a handkerchief that could cut glass or something.  Still, I'm sure she'd send you twenty whole forklifts of cinnamon if she knew how much it meant to your tribe.  She's a generous sap like that; just don't let her suck your blood.”
Tetramun blinks frightfully at the Pegasus before giving Zecora a confused glance.  The would-be-shamanista merely smirks, rolls her eyes, and chuckles Dash's way.  “Then would you be so kind to deliver this unto Rarity so that she may be handsomely rewarded for her charity?”
“I may be a weather flier sometimes!  But a dependable go-to-girl for friends?”  Rainbow Dash winks.  “Anytime!  Consider this precious token of appreciation delivered!”







SWOOSH!
Rainbow Dash hovers to a stop above a pale unicorn hard at work and drops the diamond beside her on the sewing table.  Thunk!  “Hey Rarity, here's your rock.  See ya.”  The blue Pegasus yawns and zooms away.
“Yes, thank you, Rainbow Dash, that is very nice of you---Waa-haa-Haa-HAA?!?!”  Rarity's blue eyes bulge as her spectacles fall thunderously from her snout.  She gapes at the glittering diamond rolling to a stop in front of her, all the while ignoring the seams being sewn jaggedly into her experimental sheet of blue silk.  “Good heavenssss!”  Her voice hisses into an animalistic growl.  “A Zebraharan Heart Diamond!  Rainbow Dash, cease and desist your flight this instance!”
The magical screeching of invisible tires alights the air as Rainbow Dash stops barely half a yard from flying out the door to the Carousel Boutique.  She slumps in mid-hover, groaning, but puts on a brave smiling face as she flutters back over by Rarity's side.  “Ahem.  Is there something wrong, Rare?”
“Wrong?  How could anything possibly be more right?”  Rarity beams, her eyes sapphirically mirroring the glittering gemstone in her hoof'd possession.  “Why, with this—I could make a sparkling tiara befitting Princess Celestia herself!  Or a scepter for the visiting dignitaries from Whinniepeg!  Or...or....”
“A handkerchief that could cut glass.....?” Rainbow boredly drolls.
“Why, y-yes!  Even—Wait...Huh?”  Rarity snaps her eyes off of the treasured jewel and blushes Dash's way.  “Rainbow Dash, just where ever did you get this priceless drop in the great well of supernatural beauty?”
“Sugarcube Corner.  Pinkie Pie.  Cinnamon sticks.  Everfree Forest.  Zecora?”
Rarity's eyes bounce across the ceiling as she connects the dots in her well-groomed skull.  An aristocratic laugh, and she dramatically plants a hoof over her breast.  “Ho ho ho—Oh but of course!  The delivery that Zecora needed; something very poetically nobile about 'curing some evil plant harassing her—Mmmm—Temple of Shadows' or some other hocus pocus.  It was simply a passing thought on my behalf that the dreadfully plebeian spice might help alleviate the problem of her tribe's dreaded weed problem.  Two months ago I mailed the infamous Flash Focus some cinnamon to add flare to her coffee sessions.  The upstart photographer had horrible indigestion for a week!  Hah—If the bothersome spice could throw the untouchable Flash Focus' stomach for a loop, 'imagine what it could do to the blue vegetable nemesis of the Zebrahara', I thought.  Heheheh--”  Rarity's eyes briefly turn into burning coals.  “May she boil in her own stomach juices---!!”  She blinks, her eyes shrinking back to normal as they once again register the existence of the sparkling diamond in her hooves.  “Hmmm-hmm—heeheeheeheeeeee---Erm...”  She blinks over her shoulder.  “Do be a good girl and remind me exactly what we were talking about?”
“Something about weeds, sticks, and photographer diarrhea.”  Rainbow Dash points a hoof over her shoulder.  “Can I go now?”
“Go?  Heavens no!”  Rarity plants the diamond atop a 'throne' of thimbles on her desk and trots over to the hovering wing'd filly.  “This is the first time I've been blessed to see you after yesterday's dramatic unfolding and I would simply hate myself for not spending some quality time with the most important pony in my life!--Not to mention my friends' lives!”
“Ughhh---” Rainbow Dash runs a hoof over her face.  “Not you too.”
“Oh don't be a spoil sport!”  Rarity makes a sad face.  “You of all ponies!--to not give yourself enough credit, Rainbow Dash!  Why, if it weren't for the timely explosion that your noble aerial antics caused so many years ago, I would have been deprived of discovering the talent that my magical horn was so earnestly wishing to teach me about my passion and skill in fashioning gemstones into the very fabric of my best work!”
“Yeah yeah--” Rainbow Dash sighs, eyes rolling from where she hovers.  “Sonic Rainboom leads to exploding rock leads to important self discovery leads to pastel picture on your rump.  I got it.  But seriously, Rarity—get over it!  It was just a crazy-lucky circumstance!  Nothing else!  Okay--?”  She glances down, then squints.  “Wait....are you--??”
Rarity's eyes are watering as she smiles numbly up at her friend.  “To think....This Boutique, this strategic juncture between Cloudsdale and Canterlot, this delectable gold piercing upon the lush navel of the Fashion World—I owe it all to you!”
“You're—You're not going to cry, are you?”  Rainbow Dash grimaces.  “Oh cow cookies, don't you—Don't you cry!  I mean it!  Don't you—”
Rarity sniffles and half-giggles, cupping a hoof to the side of her cheek.  “Oh dear friend, fateful benefactor extraordinaire, will you do me the grace of spending some time with m-me just for just a little while longer?”  She sniffles melodramatically.
“Nnnnnn-unnnnnnnngh—FINE!  Anything to put a cork in that fountain behind your eyes, dang!”
Rarity gasps happily.  “How about some tea?”
Rainbow blinks.  “Yeah, I'm outta here.” She turns around toward the door.
“Rainbow Dasssssssh!”
“OKAY!  Okay.” Rainbow Dash folds her arm—Yank!  “WHOAH!”  She grimaces as she's squished into a nuzzling hug by the porcelain filly with a blue mane.
“Oh what divine BFFs we arrrrre!” Rarity coos with her eyes wide shut.
“Mmnnughhhhhwutever...”
“What would you like with your tea?”
“How about some garlic?”







“I always thought that the one special thing about Rarity is that she's the one pony in my circle friends whose name isn't a combination of two proper nouns.  Now that I've gotten to know her better, modeled for her, shopped with her, watched her make a dress for me, saved her from certain plunging death with my second Sonic Rainboom, I realize that I was absolutely right the first time.  Just who names their kid 'Rarity' anyways?  I wonder if her parents saw her one day in the crib and went: 'Wow, a foal!  I've never seen something like that before!  Let's feed it oats and see if fruit blossoms off that little horn of hers!'
“At least I can understand Pinkie Pie.  She's such an individual—doing her own thing to make people laugh or enjoy themselves.  Pinkie Pie employs a creativity—howbeit an insane creativity—and even though it may rub ponies the wrong way from time to time, it still works in the end.
“But Rarity?  As long as I have ever known her—or pretended to know her—she's made it her goal to be part of the herd, not so much because she enjoys conforming so much, but she's all bent out of shape about impressing others.  Everything has to be perfect with Rarity, and I do mean everything.  From tying a bow on a dress sleeve to handling tea sugarcubes with dainty forceps to walking with some prissy gait befitting high society—she's a big velvet bag of 'LOVE ME PLEASE'.
“I guess that kinda sorta makes sense with all that she has to put up with in her line of work, though.  Trying to impress someone with a frilly vest is a heck of a lot stupider than doing a triple barreled cloud busting corkscrew over ponies' gasping heads—at least in my book.  So I should give her some credit for just how effing crazy the industry is within which she gallops, but she makes it her day-by-day obsession, so that I do not know exactly where 'Rarity the clothes designer' ends and 'Rarity the friends-hanger-outer' begins.  Come to think of it, Rarity with fashion is like Twilight with books.  Just what is it with unicorns being obsessed with things?  I think some of their brains gets mushed out of their skull and into their horns, so that they're always aiming themselves forward with a one track mind.  It's scary.
“But there's another side to Rarity, and—as much as I conk myself on the mane to admit it—it's what makes me tolerate her in spite of all the signs that would otherwise paint her as a mere showhorse.  The unicorn does a very nifty job of living up to her Element of Harmony.  In case Twilight didn't diligently describe it to you, Rarity is the element of Generosity.  I sometimes think she's the Element of Potpourri, but only Apple Jack would get that joke.  Anyways, the best example I can think of is a few months ago when there was this silly fashion show in Ponyville that meant a lot to her.  Me and the other girls were gonna be the models for her as she showed off her best works of—of--....uhm....clothing stuff.  Only—we were too self-absorbed to appreciate the dresses she had made for us.  But instead of hammering our narrow minds into shape, she went on and altered the outfits to our liking—and in so doing made herself the laughing stock of local fashion for a few bitter weeks.  I don't pretend to understand it too well.  I mean, I thought my outfit was pretty cool, but whatever; the fashion show was supposed to be all about floating Rarity's boat, not ours.
“It all ended okay in the end, of course.  I mean, Rarity isn't exactly hanging from the nearest tree (and even if she did, I'm sure she'd make a french braid out of the noose; sorry, I thought it was funny).  Turns out we all got the bright idea to model another fashion show for her, only this time wearing the dresses she meant for us in the first place—and it saved her hide from burning into flames in the world of fashion.  I'm not sure how; Whatever.  She inspired us... ....She inspired us to be as generous to her as she was to us.  Cuz when you look back at the way things are, you gotta admit to yourself that Rarity could have it so much better than what she's got now.  I mean, she's got the taste and the class to hang out with much more popular and far wealthier ponies.  And yet here she is in Ponyville, treating us like five queens of our own.  It's kinda nice to be treated 'special' by someone who's gifted in the art of being so.  As long as she doesn't drench us in affection, which she only does—like--every other flippin' week.  Yeesh.  Wutever, it's manageable, I guess.
“She's a high class pony with humility and grace. And in the ever harsh artistic world of Equestria, that's a rarity... ... .... ...Horseapples, did I actually just write that?  Ugh...”





Rainbow Dash scribbles and chicken scratches on her sixth sheet of parchment while on the other side of the table—across a sea of teacups, saucers, doilies, and one particularly large sparkling diamond—the owner of the Carousel Boutique reclines daintily in her seat and preaches verbosely over a gently steaming cup of herbal quaff.
“And so Hoity Toity wrote me a letter saying that he was in desperate need for a ruby studded jacket for the main singer performing at the local fair up in Neigh York—Something about a 'hometown gathering of musical tastes and rural ponycana'.  Oh, I know it sounds positively dreadful, and I do feel oh so sorry for the elegant stallion of style.  You should have read his snarky sarcasm when he described to me the plebeian excuse for an executive designer crew that he's scheduled to work with for this underwhelming 'gala'—it positively bled through the envelope as I opened it.  He's a charming fashion aficionado, that Hoity—but he does need to work on his sense of humor.  It's all in the timing, even if it's just ink on parchment.  Heh heh ho ho ho!”
“Uh huh....” Rainbow Dash drones, writing.
“And of course I rose to the challenge.  He attached the design of this jacket to me in the letter and I nearly fainted from the rush of blood to my bitter taste buds!  The tassels—dear stars and garters—The tassels!  I had sincerely hoped that leather had died in the fashion industry ever since... ...ever since... .... ....well, ever since the beginning of time, if I may be so boldly hyperbolic!  But, that's the life of a seamstress—Sometimes you have to just grin and bear it, especially if it's a specific commission!  Besides, I feel oh so terribly bad for Hoity Toity, and I figure that if I join him on this potentially comical expenditure when it's all for Neigh York charity and there's no chance in legitimate public scorn, then the both of us can have a mutually beneficial laugh as we watch the locals prance and frolic around this—pffft—delightfully trite 'rock and roll' festival that the two of us worked mutually across the vast distances of Equestria to help dress!”
“Uh huh.”
“Besides, any chance I have to placate the trivial frustrations of Mr. Toity is a potentially beneficial page in my grand chronicles of fashionable ascension!  Ooooh—To think that the two of us in the span of a few ecstatic months are inexplicably becoming fast ponies-in-arms across the great battlefield of chic and style!  Why—What if he becomes so enamored that he actually deigns to take me under his professional wing and make me his very own apprentice as he prepares new outfits for Sapphire Shores, Whinnie Houston, and maybe even—Mmmmmmm!--Drew Barrymare!  Ohhhh—I'm so overwhelmed with enthusiasm I could positively die!”
“Uh huh...”
“I—Er....Hmmm?”  Rarity leans forward and blinks at the distant Pegasus.  A rising eyebrow.  “You would w-want me to perish from excitement, Rainbow Dash?”
“Yes—NO.”  Rainbow glances up, her pen clattering to the parchment.  “I dunno.  Maybe?”  She blinks.  “What was the question again?”
Rarity squints.  “You haven't heard a single word I've said, have you?”
“Oh!  Uhhhhm...t-t-totally!  You and Hoity!.............. 'chic happens'!”
“Ohhhhhh Rainbow Dash, ever in a world of your own...” Rarity exhaustedly plops her teacup down onto the tabletop and leans over it, stirring absentmindedly.  There is nevertheless a wry smirk on her lips as she tilts her horn in the wing'd pony's direction and says “Only this time, it appears you're suspended in a rather different world of another's contrivance.  Could that, perhaps, be the letter that Twilight has asked you to write?”
“Okay.”  Rainbow slaps her hooves onto the table and glares through the walls of the Boutique.  “Who else knows about this letter and who do I have to pay to decapitate them?”
“Heeheehee—Darling, there's nothing to be ashamed of.  You are obviously very much engrossed in the task that Twilight has set before you.  I find it rather charming---Erm...” Rarity winces slightly with an awkward smile.  “N-N-Not that I find it unbecoming of your intellectual tenacity to so diligently cling to such an undertaking, but I think it betrays the otherwise obscured sincerity you feel for those closest to you.”
“I'd bend your horn down into your eye if I could understand a single word you said.”
“You of all my closest companions are the most reticent to share her deepest feelings, and your objections to my natural inclination to gush over yesterday afternoon's revelations is a very prime example of such.”  Rarity scoots back as a white persian cat suddenly leaps atop the table; the white unicorn proceeds to gently pet and stroke the bored looking feline as she murmurs on:  “But seeing you so ardently pursuing the letter to Princess Celestia is like a shining beacon of hope.”
“Meaning... ....”
“You really care for us, girlfriendddddddd—Heheheheheeee....”  A deep gasp and she leans forward, blindly pushing her weight atop the eye-bulging pet.  “Tell me!”  Wide crescent moon of teeth, glimmering.  “Did you write anything about meeeeeee yet?  Hmmmm?”  Sparkling eyes.  (“Mrowwww.......”)
“Uhhhhhhhhh....” Rainbow Dash glances down at her parchment.  Below her last paragraph is a crudely drawn sketch of four Wonderbolts fending off thunderclouds with ghost-powered flame throwers.  She looks up, grinning.  “You bet!”
“Mmmmm—I knew it!  I knew it!  I knew it!  You do care!”  Rainbow Dash flings her hooves up, clapping them as an unlucky cat flies behind her head and flies into something. (Thud!)  “Oh, maybe this will get Princess Celestia to come visit us again!  I imagine all of Twilight Sparkle's dutiful letters shine in a whole new light after one has taken yours into account!”
“Ugh—Really, Rarity?” Rainbow's mane pops a few loose hairs of frazzled disbelief.  “You're gonna compare my writings to Twilight's?”
“Well, if perhaps you would let me readdddd some of ittttttt-Hmmmmmmm?” Rarity's eyes mimic a glistening pair of moonwells.
“Uhhhh—Eheheh--” Dash sweatdrops.  “I-I-I'm not sure that's such a good idea.”
Rarity immediately turns her chin up.  “You're exactly right!  They are meant for the Princess' sacred eyes!  Nobody else's!”
The blue pegasus glances once more down at her parchment.  One of the ghosts bursting out of a flame thrower is wearing a fedora.  “Oh yeah.  Princess Celestia.  She'll totally dig this.”
“OOH!”  Rarity jumps suddenly in her seat, rattling the local saucerware.  “I-I just remembered!  Rainbow Dash, I terribly hate to make a dire request this late into the afternoon—not to mention interrupt our most darling tea party--”
“TellMeWhatYouNeedMeToDo!”  Rainbow Dash breathlessly wheezes over the table.
“But you remember my mentioning that Hoity Toity needs me to make him a ruby jacket for a Neigh York folk singer?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Well, I want to send him the rubies in advance before I work on the design.  It's very important that he sees all of them, so that he'll get a proper idea of the exact quantity of gems that I'll be bestowing him for his upcoming presentation!”
“Hey, any excuse to fly is good for m-me!”  Rainbow Dash smiled nervously.  “Er—Not that tea partying isn't a....mmmm....s-super radical thrill all on its own..............f'naaa.”
“Oh, you are such a darling friend!  Give me a second to acquire the saddle bag!  I promise that it won't be too heavy!”  Rarity exits from the room, sighing happily to herself:  “With your exceptional speed and punctuality, I can't even begin to imagine the surprise on Hoity Toity's face when you drop these off at his gated palace!”
Alone at the table, Rainbow Dash takes a deep breath and rolls the parchment halfway.  “Whew....I swear, sometimes Friendship is Moronic.”
“HIYA, Rainbow Dash!”  A grinning Scootaloo spontaneously rises up from beneath the table with a teapot on her head.
“DAH!”  Dash falls back, chair and all.  THUD!  She sits up and shakes her head, frowning.  “Jeez—Why doesn't everypony just call you 'Stalkaloo'?”
“I told you I had just the thing for your horrible penponyship—Er, sorry—Your 'coltligraphy impairedness'...”
“Er...yeah...” Rainbow gets up on all fours.  “About th-that....”  She nervously smiles--
“--so I went back to my little workplace behind Apple Jack's farm and I put the finishing touches on this!”  She reaches into a bag on the floor and flings a cylindrical metal brace onto the table.  Clank!  “Ta daaaa!”
“... .... ...Okay...” Rainbow steps up, blinking.  A raised eyebrow, and she squints curiously at Scootaloo.  “So what end does my mouth bite and what end makes music?”
“Noooo, silly!  Here—stay still.”
“Scootaloo, I—Whoah!” Rainbow gasps as the young pink-haired filly yanks her to the table, grabs the cylinder in her snout, and all but slaps the thing around Rainbow Dash's left hoof.
“Okay—Now slip the pen into this little sheathe here!”
The blue Pegasus stares at the mark-less minipony warily, but ultimately humors her.  With her teeth, she snaps the pen into place and holds it in front of her like a switchblade.  The metal wireframe of the cylinder wraps around Dash's hoof like a coiled brass ring and presents the pen at just the right angle to--
“Well?  What are you waiting for?” Scootaloo bounces excitedly in place, stars twinkling in her purple eyes as she grins up at Rainbow Dash.  “Try it out!”
“......hrmmm....” Dash dubiously approaches the table, stretches taut a flank of white table-cloth, and scribbles across it:  'A pony is going right into a grass region'.  She blinks her eyes wide at the fairly immaculate words produced before her.  “Saaaaay—Whaddya know?  Feels slightly less like flinging horseshoes with an octopus camping on the end of my arm!”
“Do you like it?”
“I'm pretty sure it'll make this gosh dang letter easier.  It definitely beats writing it with...with.... ...” Rainbow stares point blanc at her hoof and briefly goes cross-eyed.  “Just how was I writing all this time?”
“Beats me.  I hardly ever write.  All I know is that my name has three U's.”
“Well, thankfully you ain't half bad at tinkering.  Hey--”  Rainbow looks at the little filly.  “How'd you know I was left hoof'd?”
“Because only the cool Pegasi are left hoof'd.  Everpony knows that.”
“Heyyyy, yanno what, Pipsqueak?  You're absolutely right.  Heh heh heh...”
“Heeee....I-I'm glad you like it, Rainbow Dash.”  Scootaloo exhales happily, then switches to a fairly deadpan expression in a blink.  “I....uhm....I-I had to go to Cloudsdale for some of the materials I needed to finish that thing...”
“Yeah... ...And?”
“Aaaaand.... ...erm....” Scootaloo fidgets slightly.  “I-I heard ponies talking....”
“Who doesn't, kiddo?  Sometimes Pinkie Pie hears them in her sleep.”
“Were you... ... ...Were you in a f-fight this morning?”
“Hmmm....Oh....Oh THAT.”  Rainbow Dash sheepishly smirks and taps the now-braced pen against her other hoof.  “Mmmm—No.”
“No?”
“I wasn't fighting.”
“Ah....”
“............I was taking out the trash!”  Rainbow Dash winks.
“Haha!  I knew it!”  Scootaloo's wings flutter and she glares wickedly.  “Who was it?  Dumb-Bell and his punk friends?  I bet you whooped their butts, didn't you!”
“Heheheheh, awwwwww yeah—Er—Uhhhmm-No--NO!”  Rainbow Dash suddenly coughs and frowns down at her.  “Fighting is bad!  It's....uhm....Y-You shouldn't do it!  Especially at your impressionable age and....er....stuff.”
“Awwww—But they're so mean and stupid-headed!”  Scootaloo frowns.  “They only care about how they feel and make fun of everyone younger than them!”
“I'm not younger than them.”
“Yeah—But they're afraid of you!  Cuz you're awesome and they're not!  So—Like—They say bad things about you!  Like cowards!  But you—You go right for the gold, don't ya Dash?”  Scootaloo proceeds to jump, kick, and perform various violent motions with her limbs in mid-air.  “Haah!  Raaugh!  Yaaaugh—Whoahhhh--” Her wings flail as she teeters back--
--into Rainbow's side.  Dash steadies her and binds her in place with a stretched wing.  “Now now, pipsqueak, the only reason I fight is cuz I know I can come out of it without getting too hurt!”
“I thought you fought because you like to defend what you believe in?”
“Er.....well, that too--”
“And you want to show Cloudsdalians that nopony should stand for bullies and jerks!”
“Euhhhhhuhhhh--”
“And they're big lame meanie heads!”
“Hey!  They ain't lame!” Rainbow Dash suddenly barks—Then blinks widely at hearing herself.  Before she can say anything else, she spots the look of hurt confusion on Scootaloo's face, and swiftly leans down to whisper into her ear:  “Cuz I had to kick those rude Duncebags in the kneecaps before they could be!”
“Heeheehee—'Duncebags', I love that!  Rainbow Dash, you're so awesome.”
“Yeahhh-Yeah, I know.  But promise me you won't be getting into any fights.”
“Until I'm old enough—Like you, right?”
“Mmmmm—Until you're left handed.  How about that?”
“Deal!”
Rarity marches back into frame with a bulging saddlebag in tow.  “What's this about a fight?”
“Oh—Derhmmm--” Rainbow Dash suddenly jolts at the blemished sight of the table-cloth.  She rushes over, smudges the lettering off, and leans over it with a cool blue elbow.  “Fightiiiiing—f-f-f-for our right to party!  Y-Yeah!  I was....erm....re-regailing Scootaloo here on all the gowns you made us for the Grand Galloping Gala!”
“Oh, that is going to be the best night ever!  I certainly can't wait!”
“Ughhh—Who would want to go to such a boring prissy sissy mush-fest like that?” Scootaloo makes a wretching face.
Rainbow Dash flashes her a glance:  “Thewonderboltsaregonnabethere.”
“OOOH!  Ooooh—Make me a dress too!”
“Oh, Rainbow Dash, the things you fill these young fillies heads w—Uhhhh!” Rarity suddenly recoils at the offensively jagged image of the brace-and-pen over the end of the Pegasus' left limb.  “Darling, just what is that garrish rusting atrocity of geometryyyyyyy--”  Her eyes dart between Rainbow's hissing expression and Scootaloo's blinking face  “--yyyyy that is so gorgeously complimenting your hoof with its delicate neatness and inventiveness!”  She beams, eyes fluttering.
“I made it!”  Scootaloo hops.  “You want one too?”
Rarity wincingly stares at the utensil up close.  “Oh....Absolutely!  It's so...eloquent and......erm....”  Her blue eyes thin into placid ovals.  “What exactly is it?”
“Something that's mightier than the sword, Rarity-dear.”  Rainbow Dash pantomimes tea-sipping, and—when the unicorn isn't looking—vomitous gagging.  Scootaloo giggles breathily.
“Oh, it's for writing!”  Rarity leans back from the close inspection.  “Remarkable, if I must say so myself.  I never quite thought that much about it; Unicorns employ the gift of close ranged magic that makes writing about as easy as breathing.  Oh my, I would be ever so lost without the basic talents I learned since I was a little foal!”
“Well, maybe someponies aren't as lucky, Duncebag!”  Scootaloo rears her hooves in a fighting stance aimed at Rarity.  “URP!--” She goes crosseyed as a shrilly whispering Rainbow Dash sticks the pen in the filly's mouth.
“I'm sorry; what was that?”
“Errrr....Uh....” Rainbow Dash sweatdrops, gulps, and smiles—her violet eyes dancing towards the bag in Rarity's grasp.  “Are those the rubies you want me to deliver?”
“Mmmhmmm.  It's quite imperative that you bring these to Hoity Toity's mansion in Upper Clydesdallington before sundown!  He would be terribly offended if anyone rang his gate after the stars are out!  Even stallions need their beauty sleep, darling.”
“Clydesdallington?”  Rainbow Dash thinks aloud, making a face.  “Isn't that well beyond Cloven Canyon?”
“A three day trip by hoof—But undoubtedly a blink under the swish of your wings, dearest.”  Rarity strolls over to her side with the saddlebag.  “I know that a carefree lover of flight like you wouldn't mind.”
“Heh, you got that right.  Load 'er up—EEEESH!”  Rainbow Dash's eyes cross as her belly suddenly sags to the floor.  PLOMPP! 
Rarity finishes nonchalantly fastening the saddlebag to Rainbow's backside.  “There—That isn't too terribly heavy, is it, darling?”
“Nnnnghttkk.... ...N-No.....N-Not at all....” Rainbow trembles, smirking crookedly through sweat-stained eyesight.  “Feels like a feather.”
“Ohhh my, I don't think I put it on right.”
“Oh, it's okay--”
“Here, Rainbow!  I'll tighten it!”  Scootaloo hops atop the bag.
“It's okay It's okay It's OKA—SNKKKT---grkkk!”  Rainbow Dash wheezes against the floor as Scootaloo mounts her, yanking the saddlebag's straps through their buckles with two swift jerks of her teeth.  “Huhhhh—Mmmm.....j-j-just like a glove...”
“You're welcome!”  Scootaloo bounces back to the floor.  “Jee, I wish I could go with you, Rainbow Dash!”
“What.....to the ch-chiropractor?” Rainbow Dash's breaths slowly pant to a normal pace as she wobbles up into a standing position.  “I almost think I could use a wingpony.”
“Perish the thought!” Rarity gasps.  “Cloven Canyon is no place for a young filly to be flying!  Why, the wind sheer alone is enough to suck any young Pegasus to her doom!”
“And just what do you know about the air, Miss Rarity?”
“It's cuz her head's high up in it all the time--”  Rainbow Dash suddenly pauses, her nose scrunching as she tilts her snout offensively ceilingward.  “... ...Say, do you guys smell something?”
Just then, the bell to the Carousel Boutique rings.
“Sweetie Bell!”  Rarity beams.  “You're back from school!  And... .... ....Apple Bloom, how quaint.”
“Heya, Sis—Oh hi Rainbow Dash—Oh hi, Scootaloo!” The pastel colored young unicorn gasps happily.  “I didn't know Cloudsdale Elementary had today off!”
“Oh....uh.... ... ...Y-Yeah!  Totally!”  Scootaloo smiles, sweats at all the pairs of eyes on her, and nudges Rainbow Dash in the leg.
The Blue Pegasus nearly collapses from the tiniest tap to her weighted body.  “What?”  She blinks.  “Oh.  Uhm.”  She blinks dilatedly at the rest of the Boutique crowd.  “Today is... ... ... ... Bellerophon day!”
“Yeah!  It's when all of us Pegasi stay at home and toot our Bellerophons!”
“Snkkt—Scoots!”
“What?”
“That's—NNngh--Never mind.”
“Well, it's heapin' happy surprise to see you here in Ponyville so soon, Scootaloo!”  Apple Bloom nods her pink-bow'd cranium and hops ecstatically in place.  “Sweetie Bell and Ah have this new idea we drummed up when Miss Cherilee was ramblin' on and on about some borin' old war between the Lunar Republic and--”
“Yeah Yeah—Does it involve us getting our cutie marks?”
“We should try our hooves at archeology!”  Sweetie Bell exclaims gleefully.
“Ark of Ollie Gee?” Scootaloo's expression deflates.
“It's not as boring as it sounds!”  Apple Bloom adds.  “We dig up old belongin's, make them look sparklin' brand new again, then put 'em up somewhere for everypony to take a gander at and remember how important yesterday was!”
“In that case, you can just dig up my old fireworks from last Neigh Year's.”  Scootaloo groans.
“Awwww! Come onnn, Scootaloo!”  Apple Bloom leans in and nuzzles her close friend.  “Where's yer spirit?  This is for our cutie marks!”
“Mmmm—Oh alright....”  The pink-haired Pegasus smiles bashfully.  “Maybe I can tinker us up some shovels.”
“Yeah, whatever, Scootaloo--”  Sweetie Bell takes up position.  “Ready for it?”
“Ah was born ready!”  Apple Bloom takes up hers--
“Oh no...” Rainbow Dash snaps and points a hoof.  “Don't you—D-D-D-Don't you do th--”
“We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders on the quest to find out who we arrrrre--!”
“Nnnngghhh—Celestia gag me!”
“And we will never stop the journey; not until we have our cutie marrrrrks!”
Rainbow Dash clamps two hooves over her ears and squints across the Boutique.  “Rarity, where's that little furball of yours?  I want to choke on something.”
“Hmmm?” Rarity blinks back, sporting earmuffs.  “Did you say something?”
“Heh.  Cute.”
The three young fillies remain frozen in their stance.  “So, are we headin' to your sister's place?” Scootaloo asks Apple Bloom.
“Nuh uh.  AJ says that Sweet Apple Acres is off limits until she gets 'A Royal Monsoon of unwanted rainwater squeegee'd out from her soil'!”
“Okay!  Time for me to go!”  Rainbow Dash sing-songs and trots for the door.
“Leaving so soon, Rainbow Dash?”  Rarity telekinetically removes the earmuffs and sulks after her.  “We still have yet to chat about the Grand Galloping Gala coming up!”
“Heeeey—Delivery of rubies to Hot Topic, remember?”
“Hoity Toity.”
“Him too.”  The blue Pegasus turns to the door, only for it to slam into her face—THUD!--punctuatedly flaccidly by the belated ringing of the bell.
“Oh....Oh g-good heavens!”  A yellow pony with silk pink hair deflates immediately and taps a gentle hoof to Dash's pulsing skull.  “I am so, so terribly sorry, Rainbow Dash.  I didn't mean to bump into you—Er—actually, I did mean to bump into you...b-but just not like that....”
“Mmmmf—It's okay, Fl-Fluttershy...” Rainbow Dash blinks through the stars brimming in front of her and shakes out of it with a dazed smile.  “You could hit me with an anvil and somehow it'd be okay.”
“Wh-Why would I do that?!”  She gasps.
“Fluttershy!  What a pleasant surprise!”  Rarity trots over and gasps girlishly at the sight of the basket saddled on either side of the graceful Pegasus.  “Ohhh—What darling flowers!  Lilies from the Eastern fields, yes?”
“Mmmhmmm....” The fair pony nods with a gentle smile.  “I picked them myself.  They're for a special occasion.”  She turns to look at her colorful mane'd friend.  “Isn't that right, R-Rainbow Dash?”
“Hmm?  Huh?  What?”  Rainbow Dash gazes boredly at Fluttershy, but at the sight of the flowers—and at the gentle smile on her longtime companion's face—her expression changes to something akin to melting shock.  “Oh...Oh....It's th-that day, isn't it?”
Fluttershy sweetly nods.  “Yes.”  It comes out as a reverse sigh.
“Oh jeez—Oh jeez, Fluttershy, I-I-I'm sorry!  I was just—Yesterday and this letter—I'm writing a letter by the way, though you probably already know—And then Dumb-Bell and Hoops were all idiots and—NNNNNGHHHH!”  Rainbow Dash covers her face with a grinding hoof.  “Stupid stupid stupid!  I can't believe I forgot!”
“Oh, it's okay, Rainbow Dash...” Fluttershy daintily waves a hoof.  “Y-You're a busy Pegasus, and you can't be expected to remember e-everything...”
“But I would hate to forget to see her.”  Rainbow Dash takes a deep breath.  She twirls and looks with imploring eyes at Rarity.  “Rarity—I hate to ask this after already agreeing to do the delivery for you, and I can so totally still do it super speedy quick even if I do take a detour—but Fluttershy and I kind of had plans to....erm... ...t-to go and visit--”
“It's quite fine, Rainbow Dash.”  Rarity softly smiles, speaking in a gentle, knowing voice.  “You and Fluttershy go on ahead.  It'd be a terrible waste of flowers if you didn't.  You can make the delivery afterwards.”
“Th-Thanks, Rarity...” Rainbow Dash blushes slightly as she does a half-practiced curtsey and trots backwards through the front door with a silent Fluttershy in tow.  “I-I won't let you down, I promise!”
“Hehe—Go, darlings.  She's waiting....”
“Who's waiting....?”  Sweetie Bell makes a strange face.
“Come, girls!  Let me treat you to Sugarcube Corner before you go on your next Crusade!  It's the least I can do for my favorite divas in the whole wide world!”
“Yaaaay!”
“Sugarcube Corner?  Golly, I'm starved!”
As the others wander off, Scootaloo is left lingering behind, gazing at the front entrance of the Carousel Boutique where Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy last took off.  For a reason she doesn't quite understand, there's a lump in her throat.  She slowly turns around with drooping wings and paces after the others into the waning afternoon.









“Dear Princess Celestia, Regarding Fluttershy... ... ... ... ... ... ...I'm gonna have to get back to you on this one, Your Highness.”