//------------------------------// // I Remember Rainbow Dash pt 3 // Story: Short Scraps and Explosions // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------// I Remember Rainbow Dash – by short skirts and explosions Act 1 – Chapter 3 – A Dash in the Life Cloudsdale hovers angelically in the blue sky, refracting all rays of the rising Sun to form a mosaic of colors—against which Rainbow Dash mightily soars, approaching the thick of the airborn ponytropolis. She gazes left and right with subtle amusement as she observes the ritualistic hustle and bustle of the City from up high. Squadrons of Pegasi line up for takeoff from several rows of white marble buildingtops. Weather flight teams surge westward to confront the brooding cloud currents. Delivery teams soar southward and split up, delivering innumerable parcels of importance throughout the great enormity of Equestria. Several engineers gather on the larger cloudbanks to chat and huddle before hustling into the nearby precipitation factories for their morning shifts. Rainbow Dash takes a deep breath, banks against the Sun, and surges northward over the ivory spires of the place, angling her blue body towards the bright reflective circle that makes up the Downtown Square of Cloudsdale, just bordering the Junior Flight School and Aerial Academy. There, many fair-winged pegasi Dash's age have already gathered, forming various flocks of excited morning chatter in the glistening penumbra of dawn. “According to Twilight Sparkle, the Royal Family has always lived in Canterlot. That's cool and stuff, I guess. But my only question is—Why? I mean, I'm sure it's a great town and all, and I've met a lot of nice unicorns who have come from there. But could you have picked a more boring place to make the Capital of Equestria? Seriously, Princess—Canterlot is soooo 'MEH'. If it wasn't for the Grand Galloping Gala and the Annual Wonderbolts Airshow and the regular Rising of the Sun you do and the frickin' huge mountain you've got those skyscrapers carved into....— “Okay. Scratch that. Canterlot is—like—totally cool. But you know what's cooler? Cloudsdale. Why is Cloudsdale cooler? Well, I live there, for one. But besides that—You have all the best fliers of Equestria located in one place, and when they're not showing off their totally sweet air maneuvers and living the dream, they're doing what pegasi do best—And that's performing the most important work in all of the land, air, and seas. This includes performing deliveries to all of the furthest places of the world, engineering blizzards and rainbows, and even deciding what part of Equestria gets a heat wave and when. And if that all wasn't enough, might I remind you that Cloudsdale is a huge frickin' floating City? Like—frickin-floating-in-the-sky huge frickin'? Isn't that totally awesome? I mean, you know all of this already, right? I figured that you were Princess of Equestria for more than just having a totally righteous flowing mane, though I wouldn't mind if that was the only reason, but maybe that's just Rarity rubbing off on me. Yeesh. “You know, I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to be writing about in this letter. Twilight was rather vague when she tried telling me what she wanted me to do. I sure could use an idea, because I'm on the third paragraph and normally I'd be bored enough by now to quit if I didn't know I was writing this to—yanno—the One and True Celestial Matriarch of Everything that Is. That is you, right? Just to make sure we got that covered. “Oh! I know! I'll just—like—write about how a typical day in the life of Rainbow Dash goes. Hey, that almost sounds like a book title! Not that I would know; I was never too big on books. Plus, books always struck me as a 'unicorn' thing, what with their magical horns and whatnot. Pegasus and Earth Ponies kind of have to use their noses to turn pages, so you can imagine the amount of papercuts we get on our nostrils. Some ponies might say that the current manufacturing of books is racist, but then some ponies really need to get their heads dunked in a trough. Speaking of troughs, that reminds me of the one time that Rarity's little sister mistook a water fountain outside of the Carousel Boutique for a roofless outhouse. “Oh Mule Muffins, there I go again. This is exactly why I never write anything, besides the fact that it's boring and I have much better things to do—Not that this isn't a good thing to do today: writing to you, that is, Princess. Let me read back up a paragraph or two—Oh right! A Day in the Life of Rainbow Dash. Or A Dash in the Life if you wanna get all artsy fartsy about it. “Things start in Cloudsdale like they start anywhere. We Pegasi are hard workers—enough to give Earth Ponies a run for their money. But while the residents of Ponyville function individually—doing whatever the heck it is that they want to do at random—things here in Cloudsdale are pretty strictly organized. Making the rainbows bright, making the rain wet, making sure the mail gets to where it needs to go—Anything and everything clicks together like a well oiled machine, or better yet; a giant well oiled machine floating in the sky that the rest of Equestria mortally depends on. So, as the morning routine kicks in, it's important that pegasi get their 'how-do-you-do's' out of the way sooner than later. That way, we can all keep on the same wavelength and get our jobs done quickly enough to spend the late afternoon doing what we're born to do: flying awesomely around in the sky as if gravity was never invented. “I like to consider myself a free spirit, but I'm still a Pegasus Pony, and even I know how important it is to maintain a good comero--....camraw--....cohmuhroderee--...a good friendship with those who are my peers. My dad used to live in other parts of Equestria before I was born. But when I was foaled into this world, he brought me back here to Cloudsdale. I'm thinking it's because he too understands how important it is that I maintain a good hoof with fellow pegasi. And so, everyday, I make sure that I'm always making a good impression and—even more importantly—engaging my fellow young citizens in a friendly exchange of ideas...” WHAM! “Ooof!” Rainbow Dash spits as her face flies sideways from a heavy brown hoof to the snout. She teeters back slightly and barely raises her right forearm to block the second punch from the advancing colt—who promptly takes advantage of her hasty flinch, headbutting her directly in the forehead. A concussive noise, and Rainbow promptly ragdolls backwards against a marble pillar in the center of Cloudsdale's Town Square. A cadence of mixed cheers and boos fill the glistening atmosphere as a dark brown male pony stomps down a ring of spectating pegasi and rears his offending hooves over the pratfalled Dash. “Think you're so tough now, Rainbow Crash?” He smirks, a spotty mane of peach-blonde hair partially blocking his devilish eyes. “You come here insultin' the Wonderbolts while I'm around? I'm gonna send your face back into the trash bin where it belongs!” “Nnnngh—All I remember saying, Dumb-Bell...” Rainbow Dash levels back on her legs and hisses across the way at the ruffian in question. “....is that there's no chance in heck that a pathetic boulder-for-brains oaf like you would ever get to join the Wonderbolts!” She smirks. “And in my book, that's the finest compliment I could ever give them!” “Grrrr...” The pathetically named Dumb-Bell snarls, an artery pulsing along his neck. In the thick of the howling crowd of bloodthirsty Pegasi, a rather tall orange-brown colt wearing a white hard hat shouts: “You gonna take that from her, Dumb-Bell? Let me get a hit in!” “I've got this, Hoops!” The brown youth in question looks over his wings to snarl at him. When he turns back around he's greeted by a hurdling missile in the form of Dash's body screaming directly into his eyesight. He soars back from the impact and slams into the side of a Princess Celestia fountain, soaking his mane in water as he groans. “What's the matter, Dumb-Bell?” Rainbow Dash smirks and strikes a pose with hooves suavely crossed. “Did I make you wet yourself again?” A ring of pegasi laughs and snickers enthusiastically behind her. “Whyyyy you--!” Hoops charges in, followed swiftly by a smaller stone-blue colt stampeding behind him. (“I've got your back, brother!”) Rainbow Dash holds her ground, squinting with a glint of ominously reflected sunlight as the two would-be-stallions converge on her. The surrounding cheers melt belatedly into a gasp as she rears her hooves high into the air and—with expert timing—slams them both down into the cloudy 'floor' beneath her. A misty rumbling, and rivulets of disturbed cloudbedding swarm forward and explode underneath the clamoring hooves of the two attackers. “Whoah!” “Auugh!” The younger Pegasus Brother falls snout-first over the disrupted cloud. Rainbow Dash vaults over him, spreads her wings, soars a dozen feet, catches the body of a marble pillar with her front legs, spins around it three times, and then propels her body back in time to catch Hoops—the elder—as he is dizzily trying to get up. The resulting collision sends the two of them barreling together—through a scampering group of onlookers—and straight into a cascade of collective rainwater bubbling from the unscaleable heights of Cloudsdale above. Rainbow, of course, is fast on her hooves and nips up immediately in a splashing stance. The watching ponies gather closer as Hoops lumbers to—snarling—and bucks his lower hooves twice at Rainbow. The colorful she-Pegasus merely smirks, dodges each of his kicks with a dancer's flair, twirls away from her opponent's next awkward lunge, and disappears directly behind the waterfall. A confused Hoops briefly blinks in cross-eyed panic—Just before Rainbow Dash wetly shoots her head straight through the rainwater with a mane-dripping silly face against his snout. “BOOGIDY BOO!” “DAH--” Hoops' breath is cut short when Rainbow yanks him forward through the deluge of water, rams him in the chest with the joint of her right leg, and promptly spin-bucks him like a soaked comet straight into the incoming flight of the gasping Dumb-Bell. The magical sound of colliding bowling pins lights the air, and both muscular upstarts fall gracelessly into a conjoined pile in the center of Town Square. “Ughhhh....” “Heh....” Rainbow Dash slicks her wet mane back and sticks a rebellious tongue out. “Really smoothe, dudes. Looks like you two are doing all the 'crashing' for the three of us!” Right then and there, the small stone-blue colt comes up from behind Rainbow Dash and pins her upper arms back with a vice-like grip. “Eeep!” She breathlessly gasps. “Four of us! I-I forgot there were four of us--” She squeaks and struggles, bug-eyed. “I-I've got her, brony! I've got her!” He shouts. “Hold her still, Quarterback!” Hoops slips his hard hat back on and gallops up, followed swiftly behind by a mouth-foaming Dumb-Bell. Restrained, Rainbow Dash braces herself, tries to duck her head—but she receives a savage hoof to the face, followed by a buck to the chest and three more kicks to the side. “Oof—Nnngh—AACHH!” The roaring group of roused Pegasi reaches a fever pitch around the melee. Chants clash and collide, some in Rainbow Dash's favor, others in Dumb-Bell's. One pony in particular, a light gray filly with a mohawk'd mane shoves her way towards the edge of the crowd and howls between cupped hooves: “Don't give up, Rainbow Dash! Kick their tails from here to Doomsday!” The closest circle of ponies around this particular shouter joins in her enthusiastic cheer. “Snkkkt--” Rainbow Dash bruisedly winces. She glares with burning violet eyes into the snouts of her oppressors. “Th-That all you got, b-bigshots?” She sputters. “Hardly.” Dumb-Bell sneers. “We ain't finished until we make you crap your own teeth. Hoops—Care to do the honors?” “With pleasure....” The tall one raises his brass horseshoe high, past the glistening sight of his hard hat's reflection in the morning Sun-- Rainbow Dash gasps. With a devilish smirk, she boldly flaps her wings straight forward. A gust of wind is summoned, and it promptly blows the hard hat directly off the startled Hoops' head. (“Huh—What?”) Dash snatches the brim of the hard white bowl in her teeth, stretches her neck back, and proceeds to smack Hoops' face from side to side with the suddenly offensive headpiece. Dumb-Bell merely watches with...well....dumbfoundedness, giving Dash the opportunity to spit the hard hat directly into the side of dark-brown colt's skull when he's not looking. While Dumb-Bell and Hoops smack stupidly into each other again, Rainbow Dash retracts her wings—takes a sharp breath—and stretches them back so that they slide under Quarterback's armpit, then stretching-- “Waah---!” The stone-blue colt finds himself inexplicably falling back. Rainbow Dash lunges with a growl and reverse bucks him in mid-air. Not a blink later, and she twirls to catch the tail of the airborn youngster, pulling with all of her might and flinging him like a mace into his two older cohorts. Bodies go flying everywhere—all of them collapsing, all except for Rainbow Dash, that is, who is sliding to a stop with limbs heaving and twitching. “Nnnghhh....” Rainbow Dash spits into the cloudbed and smiles as a tiny trickle of blood rivers down from her curved lips. “Grrr....I'm so alive it hurts.” A resounding swarm of cheers fill the air. “Yeah—You go, girl!” The mohawk'd pegasus leans against her friends and pumps a hoof in midair. “Wooo--! Rainbow Dash! Yeah!” “Ughhhh....” The three colts try vainly limping up from their embarassing pile of limbs. “You guys ready to talk sensibly?” Rainbow Dash sneers, trotting like a predator around the three bigger, bulkier cretins. “Cuz my morning's just started! I'm here to kick butts and take names—But yours are the lamest ones in the book!” “Nnngh....Why c-can't you just sing songs and pick flowers like any other filly...?” Dumb-Bell wheezed. “And miss all the fun of turning your stupid mouths inside out? Come on! Get up!” Rainbow Dash makes a show of grinding her front hooves in the cloudbed beneath her. “I was born for this dance! Let's do this!” “Grrr....All together, bronies--” Dumb-Bell spits a bloody loogey out and lines up beside Hoops and Quarterback as the three do their best to square off bravely against Dash's offensive stance. The audience's breath holds briefly as the fight prepares to enter a new round-- “What in heavens' name is going on around here?” Utters a voice that sounds three times as wrinkled as the face it must belong to. “H-Huh?” The mohawk'd pony from the sideline glances up, and her red eyes immediately roll in their sockets. “Ohhhhhh great. Here comes Doctor Buzz Kill.” “Pffft—Just what I need...” Rainbow Dash boredly groans. An ancient looking mare with gray-streaked fuschia hair flutters down from the front steps of the nearby Cloudsdale Hospital. The sunlight bounces opaquely off her white medical duds as she comes to a wobbling stop besides the snickering group of youngsters. “What is the meaning of all this racket? Don't you know that I have patients trying to get well--?” She takes one look at Rainbow Dash, gasps—but then sags into a well-rehearsed sigh. “Ohhhhh, I should have known it was you again.” “Awwww—So sorry, Nurse Rose Heart. Did we rattle your dentures again?” Rainbow Dash portrays a mock smile. “Bah!” The aged mare's bifocals rattle on her snout as she gives an incredulous gasp. “That's Doctor Rose Heart to you, young lady—If I can even call you a lady! This is the third time this month I've had to interrupt your bloodlusting bouts of fisticuffs!” “W-We're so sorry to have disturbed you, Doctor Heart!” Dumb-Bell exhales in an emotionlessly sincere monotone. “Yeah—It won't ever happen again!” Hoops adds while his younger brother nods emphatically. “We promise!” “Hmmph!” Dr. Heart tilts her nose upward with the faintest hint of a satisfied smirk. “Well—That's more like it! It's good to see someponies have a decent amount of politeness and respect around here!” “H-Hey!” Rainbow Dash squeakily frowns. “They started it!” “Pfft—A likely story.” Rose Heart glares her graying eyes in the colorful Pegasus' direction. “Time and time again, you're the instigator of this horrible violence. Why, if I had my way, I'd never have let you set hoof in Cloudsdale to begin with!” Rainbow growls and coils the invisible springs in her wings, ready to pounce on somepony—anypony. Suddenly, in a gust of gentle wind, the mohawk'd pegasus and her circle of companions land on all sides of the blue filly and smirk mischievously in the Doctor's direction. “Well, that would be a tragedy! Cuz if you rewrote history, Cloudsdale would be only about eighty percent as cool as it is today!” “Brrrrrr--” Rose Heart reacts with a cockeyed grimace that forces the young pegasi surrounding the scene to giggle and snicker. “Naturally a group of delinquets like you would defend this rapscallion! You're half the reason she ever got to be such a horrible citizen to begin with!” “You're just jealous cuz you're too old to try being a horrible citizen yourself!” The one with the mohawk balks as they fly away with Rainbow Dash in tow. “Yeah!” Rainbow Dash jeers down at the awestruck old doctor. “Why don't you do yourself a favor and chop off your head so you can count the rings in your neck and remind yourself just how friggin' ancient you are!” A cadence of giggles flanks her upwards flight. “Why—I...I....” Dr. Heart skirts the edge of an impending heart attack and growls, her gray coat turning bright red. “Nnngh—Wait until I inform the Captain of the Weather Control Team about this outright reprehensible behavior! Why you girls can't be well-mannered like my grandaughter in Ponyville—I will never know!” She turns with an upright tail and trots back angrily towards the hospital steps, muttering: “No Pegasus with such ill-manners should be aloud to touch the rainclouds much less the Celestia-blessed soil of the earth!” “If you like Earth so much, why don't you go back there?” Rainbow's mohawked friend cat-calls. She glances up, swiftly stretches a hoof, and snatches an envelope out of a randomly passing googly-eyed mailpony. “Here! Take a post-card!” She flings the thing downward like a shuriken. The envelope bonks ineffectually—but loudly—off the back of Dr. Rose Heart's head. She gasps the entire globe's worth of atmosphere into her nostrils, spins about, and snarls: “Why youuuu--” She proceeds to clump up hoof-fulls of cloud and rear-kicks them up towards the hovering group of jeering pegasi with varying degrees of innaccuracy. “Take that—And that—And that, you oafish uncouth monstrosities!” “Hah!” Rainbow Dash cackles. “Good aim there, Dr Rose Heartattack!” “Hmmmph!” The old mare haughtily sticks her chin up. “Laugh all you want! I'll have you know I could buck more than mere clouds in my day!” “Snkkkkt! Yeah, I bet you did!” (“Ohhhhhh!” “Oooooo-Hooo-Hooo!”) Rose Heart's eyes dilate exaggeratedly. “Wha---! Why I—OHHHHH!” She glares daggers up at the whole lot, but more specifically at Rainbow Dash. “I would expect nothing less from a worthless half-wing like you!” At the sound of the last flung insult, something in Rainbow's eyes catch ablaze. Juices boil under her blue coat as two decades of ire resurface with radioactive intensity. “Why that stuck up, dried out old has-been--” She snarls and makes to dive—But her companion holds her back. “Shhh! Come on—She crossed the line. Not us.” The filly mutters in a betrayingly gentle voice. “Hah! Doc Heart's right! I can't believe I keep forgetting!” Dumb-Bell snorts from below as he and his best-buds trot away in the opposite direction, adding to the overall dissipation of the fight-thirsty crowd. “Once a half-wing, always a half-wing! No wonder she crashes all the time, huh?” “Hahah—You got that right!” Hoops chants merrily. “This ain't finished, Rainbow Dash! We'll settle this with your half-wing'd mouth another time! You'll see!” “Oh yeah? How about now? You want more bruises?” Rainbow once more growls and jolts—Only to be held back. “Come on. Let it go. You already showed them who's boss.” Her companion confidently smiles at her. “Nnnnngh—Fine.” The colorful Pegasus grumpily folds her arms. The two of them float free from the hovering group. A minute and a half of drifting, and they settle down quietly on a loan cloud overlooking the downtown haze of Cloudsdale. It isn't until the last second of cloud-squatting that Rainbow Dash starts to take a closer look at the fresh bruises on her face and chest. She fluffs her mane back and shakes her snout while testing her eyesight. “Mmmff—Nothing like a good fight to the death before breakfast.” “Nobody fights to the death better than you, Rainbow.” The mohawk'd pony settles beside her, smirking slyly. “Quite frankly, I'd rather skip breakfast if it means seeing you school those punks a little more.” “Yeah, well....” Rainbow folds her hooves and glares over her shoulder at her with a brief display of indignation. “You certainly pulled me away rather quickly for a pony who'd like to see more teeth fly, Wyndi.” “Heeheehee.” Wyndi giggles and rolls her ruby eyes. “Well, it's been a while since we hung out, Dash-Dash. Like, really hung out. And—as much as I hate to sound borderline mushy—it would be a shame if you ended up in such a bleeding shape that we'd never get a chance to hang out again.” “Yeah, yeah.....Hrmmmph.....” The blue pegasus sighs. After a beat, she smirks faintly at her old acquaintance and murmurs: “For what it's worth: thanks, Wyndi. If you ask me, I was keeping my cool all well and fine until Doctor Heart-less showed her wrinkly face. Gawwwwwwd.” “Yeah, she's a real buzzkill—Not to mention a trotting rendition of an old musty textbook.” Wyndi squints down at the distant speck of a hospital, then raises an eyebrow in Dash's direction. “If you don't mind me asking, what's with all the bad blood between you and that old plowhorse anyways?” “Ughhhh—It's a long story. I really don't want to get into it.” Rainbow murmurs, her violet eyes suddenly and uncharacteristically distant as she gazes into the western horizon, the hazy purple of the Everfree forest looming far below. “She's just like any other old geezerette with no living friends left to pester.” “And then for her to call you--” “I know what she called me!” Rainbow Dash suddenly snaps with a biting frown. Wyndi recoils slightly, the front rows of her mohawk sagging slightly. “Yeesh! I get it! Sensitive area—Like that's hard to guess! But seriously, Dash-Dash. You're above and beyond that. Showing a few punks who's boss is one thing, but getting in a tizzy fit over some old bag of oats?” “You heard the guys when she started mouthing off. They just wisened up and copied her.” The blue pony sighs. “Old insults die hard, and they spread more than parasprites.” “Para-what, now?” “Parasprites. Adorably cute, indescribably dangerous little colored balls with insect wings that eat everything they see?” Rainbow Dash gestures for her. “A few months ago they swarmed Ponyville and it took the better part of three weeks to rebuild Main Street.” “Uhhh.....Eh heh heh...” Wyndi chuckles nervously. “You lost me at 'adorably'.” “Heh—Never mind.” Rainbow Dash tosses her hooves and flops back so that she lies lazily on the cloudbed, skygazing. “That's yet another 'long story'.” A few violet blinks, and she smirks Wyndi's way. “You ever thought of dipping below the clouds once in a while? There's a whole 'nother world waiting to be discovered, yanno.” “Heehee—I was gonna ask the same of you. Err—Reversely.” “Oh?” “You're rarely ever around Cloudsdale these days, Rainbow Dash. At least not for long.” Wyndi cocks her head to the side, gazing curiously at her. “Just what's so special about Ponyville that you can no longer hang with the old gang?” “Ehhh.....It's....Well....It's Ponyville! And....A-And there's so much stuff to do! Not just controlling the weather, but you've got all of these....uhm.....These things to do..... ...And....Uhm....” Rainbow rubs her scalp with a thinking-hoof, winces slightly as she scrapes a bruise, and blinks empty-headedly. “You know, that's a good question. Just why am I in Ponyville all the time?” “Is it cuz you've got new friends there?” “Hmmmmmm....... ....... .......... ..... ..... ...... ..... ..... ....Naaah.” “Well, there's always plenty of empty skies up here for you.” Wyndi smiles. “The gang and I are practicing for the local Aerial Marathon next month. You should come join us, girl!” “Heh—You sure you'd want me around?” Dash slyly smirks at her. “Cuz you know I'd just soak up all the awesome from the atmosphere.” “You're welcome to try—” Wyndi glaringly begins, but is suddenly interrupted by a hailstone being thrown against her skull. “OW! What gives--” She rubs her cheek and frowns upward. “I'm catching up with Dash-Dash here!” “Well catch up quicker!” A bright lavender pegasus waves from two cloudbeds above the duo. “The Breakfast Hour is nearly over at the Tornado Express! The rest of us girls wanna make it there before our stomachs implode! Are you plannin' on holding us up or what?” “Keep your horeshoes on! I'll be there in a jiffy!” Wyndi cackles. “Just what's the hurry anyways?” She jolts, startled, as Rainbow Dash suddenly sits up in front of her, gazing upward with wide violet eyes towards the levitating group in question. High above are a swarm of pegasi—many of Rainbow Dash's former acquaintances—but above all of them, waiting on the fringes of the group atop her own lonesome cloud, is a brazen figure crowned with brown and white feathers that shimmer in the morning sunlight. She gazes back down at the distant lone figure of Rainbow, her amber eyes cold and expressionless. With icy precision, the griffon spreads her eagle wings and takes off towards the east end of Cloudsdale; the other girls follow her merrily, chatting and laughing in between randomly shared 'punches' to the shoulders. Dash takes a deep breath, her blue coat looking bluer as she gazes dully at the cloudbed bowling listlessly beneath her. Her voice is sullen, like a pebble hidden at the bottom of a deep well. “Mmmm-You were saying something about how come we all never hang out together anymore?” Wyndi gulps, but smiles hopefully. “Oh, she'll come around. Gilda's not one to hold a grudge.” “Yeah.” Dash mutters. “She usually tears the gullet out of those whom she doesn't like when she first meets them. It cuts out the middle-pony.” “What makes you say that?” “She showed me. Yanno—When the two of us used to hang out all the time?” “I'm sure she's just protecting her pride, Dash-Dash. You know how Gilda gets when she's miffed--” “You're making it sound like it was Gilda who ended our friendship, not me.” Rainbow Dash drones. Wyndi bites her lip, fidgeting slightly—as if about to fall off the edge of that tiny cloud bed. “Go.” Rainbow suddenly utters. She turns and smiles gently at her old companion. “It's okay. You all have your 'thing'. I'm not about to get in the way of that.” “You used to be part of our 'thing' too, Dash-Dash.” Wyndi murmurs sincerely. “It's what we always admired about you. You never wanted to be normal and dull like the rest of Cloudsdale. You were part of the awesome crowd. What...... ...Wh-What changed?” “Nothing changed!” Rainbow folds her hooves and huffs. “I'm just....just......... .... ...awesome elsewhere.” Wyndi nods. She flies off—but stops in mid hover. A lingering breath, and she leans over to quietly say to her old friend: “I don't care where you are, or with who, quite frankly. But....--Never change, Rainbow Dash. You hear me? Never change.” And with a gust of wind, the mohawk'd pegasus surges skyward, joining her companions—both feathered and not—leaving the blue one alone. A groaning breath, punctuated by an ironic smirk, and Rainbow Dash takes off for the opposite direction in a prismatic bolt. “I don't intend to.” SWOOOSH! “I'm a weather flier, which means that I—along with lesser talented skyponies that so happen to share the same airspace with me—am in charge of moving clouds around, making it rain where it needs to rain, making the wind blow where it needs to blow, getting the snow to collect in just the right bunches when Winter comes around, giving sleet and hail the brush-off, and all of that other boringly predictable stuff that you surely already know about..........ma'am. “What would Equestria be like if it weren't for Pegasi like me to rely on for our meatyoro--.....meeteeohrawl--.....meteoyo--........ .... ...our weather controlling? I've often thought about it—And when I write that 'I've often thought about it', I mean to say how much it would stink for all of the unknowing Earth Ponies down below who would otherwise have to deal with cyclones, cold weather fronts, random downdrafts, hailstorms, murderous lightning, mudslides, droughts, zombie tornadoes, angry elephants rising up out of the ground....and....other horrible things. I don't know; whatever. I kick clouds. “You should have seen the look on Twilight Sparkle's face when she first met me as I cleared the sky over Ponyville in ten seconds flat. That's her estimate, by the way. I'm pretty sure I did it in something like nine and three quarters seconds flat. That's like twenty-eight hours in zero gravity time, if you were wondering. Whatever the case, I at least impressed her magic assistant. Yanno, the little purple dragon. What's his name again? 'Spicket'? 'Spittoon'? I dunno; nobody cares. “Still, as much as I brag—and rightfully so—about my cloud kicking skills, it still can't compare to something as totally friggin' awesome as raising the Sun. As if it wasn't enough that so many Earth Ponies take for granted what Pegasi do for the weather over their heads, I think that in the same way we're all kinda guilty for not realizing just how insanely cool it is what you do over our heads, Princess Celestia, and everyday! So—kudos to you and stuff. I almost wish I could control the Sun for a day. On second thought, scratch that. That's not such a good idea. Besides, I'd probably shove the Sun down Rarity's chimney. That would be a laugh. You see, it's funny cuz Rarity hates the Sun—or at least I think so. I mean, come on! She talks like a friggin' vampire. “Did I mention that I'm the head Pegasus in charge of monitoring Ponyville's weather? Oh yeah! (Wait, let me write that in bigger letters.) AWWWWW YEAH! It wasn't just a ten-second thing; I regularly play cloud hockey over the rooftops of your good and faithful apprentice's home town. Everypony there can trust me for a sunny day or an afternoon shower, schedule permitting. I do all of it by myself, of course. Cuz—yanno—sharing the spotlight is totally lame. Thankfully, though, you won't ever see me in Ponyville while being weighted down by the heavy hooves of a bunch of losers.” “Ugh—Come ONNN!” Rainbow Dash groans over her shoulder at a solid train of one dozen cloud-shoveling Pegasus Ponies presently lingering on her six. “Do you guys think this is a parade? Lift your wings, already!” “Nnnngh—We're f-flying as fast as we c-can, Miss Dash! But these clouds are soaked to the brim with rainwater and we haven't taken a break since we took off from Cloudsdale!” The murmuring Pegasus in question is joined by an agreeable moan of collective disagreeableness. “Breaks? I'll have you know that I've pushed twice as much as the total haul of all twelve of you combined without breaks and watered an entire valley on my lonesome! And that was on an empty stomach too!” Rainbow Dash flies angrily forward. A beat, and then she turns to sneer back once more: “And don't call me 'Miss Dash'.” “Y-Yes, Miss Dash. Er....oops.” “Ughhhhhhh--” Rainbow Dash covers her face, stretching her lower eyelids clownishly. “This trip is gonna take forever--” BONK! The blue winged pony's complaining wail is cut abruptly short when her face runs smack-dab into a bright red barn. Under a cadence of knee-jerk giggles, she hovers backwards and snaps her face to see where they are. “Ah. We're here. Wicked!.” The broad fruit-speckled vista of Sweet Apple Acres stretches beneath them for as far as the floating squadron of weather fliers can squint. “Finally! We can get started! Hmmm...But it still feels like we're missin' something...” “There y'all are! Finally!” A young orange mare trots up from the nearby farmhouse, sporting a wide brimmed brown hat. “Ahhhh right. The drawl,” Rainbow smirks and folds her arms from where she hovers above her. “How I do miss the drawl.” “Don't be blowin' wind up mah tail!” Apple Jack frowns up at the swarm of wing'd youngsters as a red-coated workhorse trots up alongside her, chewing on a stalk of hay. “It ain't enough that Ah sent in the ticket for this rainfall order four dag blame'd weeks ago, but then you and yer school of fancy fliers have the gall to show up late?” “What do you mean 'late'? Take a look at the sky, blondie!” Rainbow points eastward. “At the latest it's....it's......” She shrugs. “.....Sunrise-Thirty!” “You obviously know very little about when the cock crows on a farm!” “That's just the thing, AJ. Some of us aren't born lame!” The squadron of fliers giggle childishly until she silences them with a threatening fling of her multicolored tail. “But the fact is—We're here, the rainclouds are here, your apples are here—Let's 'get 'er done'. Ahem; Sprechen sie southernesie?” “Take a look at 'em Apple Orchards, Rain'bo!” “Ughhh—PuhLEEEEASE Apple Jack, I've got a busy schedule, rainbows to dash, tornadoes to piledrive--” “Look at 'em!” “Mmmmnnnghh....” Rainbow Dash folds her hooves and boredly swivels about on an invisible barber's stool to behold the hilly fields of crimson-and-emerald-kissed green trees as the blonde farmhorse trots beneath her and gestures dramatically in a visual accompaniment to her soapboxing: “Over yonder is over five hundred acres of Equestria's finest apple pickin's! And each day that they suffer through this drought in mother nature's tears means another bushel of fruit goin' plum rotten! These are the same apples that fill the bowls of yer fancy schmancy restaurants in Cloudsdale, not to mention the very dinner trough of Princess Celestia yourself! Do you understand, now, how important it is to give these here orchards the royal spa treatment?” “Snkkkt—Seriously?” Rainbow Dash struggles to contain herself. “'Mother nature's tears'?” Apple Jack stomps her front hooves indignantly. “So blame meh for tryin' to be all theatrical-like! But this is important, gosh dern it! Ain't that right, Big Macintosh?” The red workhorse opened his jaws to say something-- “Httt!” Apple Jack raises a hoof in front of her big brother's snout. “Ah know what yer gonna say!” She frowns at the hovering group and quotes him: “'Every minute we waste here jabberin' is another minute the crops could be rottenin'!” “Yeah Yeah--” Rainbow Dash briefly double-takes at the farmfilly's forced rhyme, shrugs it off, then motions to her group, coordinating them to take their proper cloud kicking positions in the broad morning air above strategic parts of the farm. “Keep your hat on, AJ. Celestia knows that's the one thing you're perfectly good at.” “Scoff all you want, Rain'bo!” The blonde Earth Pony harumphs. “We each have our own talents, ya braggart. Why, Ah could out-buck you from here to kingdom come if Ah wanted to!” “Yeah, uh...” Rainbow Dash grimaces with a sweatdrop as she continues motioning the various breathless Pegasi into position. “Never ever say that sentence out loud again, Apple Jack. 'Kay? Thanks.” Apple Jack squints at the rainbow Pegasus with a sudden wave of sympathetic curiosity. “How come yer such a dag blame'd crabapple this morning anyways, Rain'bo—If you do pardon mah pun.” “I've had a crazy morning. So sue me!” Rainbow's Bluer-than-normal face scrunches up, as if fighting a sudden allergy. The blonde pony notices this, and smirks ever so slightly. “Ah bet you were. Tell meh, did you get those bruises accidentally or did a boulder make out with you?” “Oh, these?” Rainbow pauses in conducting the weather flier team and rubs her cheek nonchalantly. “I....uh...walked into a door....er....in the sky. A door in the sky. The sky has doors, yanno.” “Riiiiight. Sure you did.” “Yeah, well, who got crowned Sun Goddess and made you the expert of sky doors?” Macintosh murmurs something, spitting the haystalk out of his red lips with countrified emphasis. Apple Jack nods back. “You're right, Macintosh.” She sighs and frowns once again the Pegasus' way. “Enough with the squawkin' and on with the cloud wringin'. Ah gotta pick half of these fields in a week's sneeze and they ain't good to meh dry!” “Come onnnn, AJ! My team and I didn't come all this way from Cloudsdale unprepared.” Rainbow Dash leans against the barn and waves a nonchalant hoof. “Relaxxxxx!” She closes her eyes and takes a deep, proud breath. “We've got enough rain in these clouds to soak your apples three times over—in every sense of the term. Your BFF Dash-Dash has this all in the bag--” A sudden burst of gasps and shrieks fill the air. Rainbow Dash's eyes burst open, twitching. She follows the breathless expression of Apple Jack and Macintosh, turning to gaze in horror at the now-floundering group of Pegasi behind her. The winged ponies are struggling in futility to keep ahold of the dark rainclouds as an inexplicable gust of wind mercilessly shoves the greater number of them away. “Oh noooo!” An overtly girlish pink pegasus clutches her face as her rainclouds are swept away in the surprise gail. “It's a downdraft!” “Must be a surprise cold front from over the Western Mountains!” Another Pegasus grunts, struggling to keep ahold of his cloud. “It's pushing all the frigid air down into the valley!” “All the rainclouds are being blown away—Ohhhhhh!” A wimpy flier sags in mid-hover and groans. “This is the trots.” “Oh Miss Dash! It's horrible! What'll we do? At this rate, we'll have to go back North and recollect some rainclouds to try a second time this afternoon!” Rainbow Dash gasps widely—then growls through clenched teeth. “Screw that!” She bolts in a prismatic blur and grabs one of the three last rainclouds still in the squadron's grasp. “We're doing this now! I've got lots of things to do today!” “Yeah?” Apple Jack scowls, irascibly set ablaze by the developing situation. “Like what?” “Like not doing this!” Rainbow shouts and—cloud in tow—bolts so quickly towards the far side of the farm she practically sets the air on fire, sending her Pegasus lackeys flailing with shrieking fear. The blue wing'd pony zooms westward towards the stables and stops just at the rooftop. She bucks the weather-vane in mid-air (CLANK!) so that it tilts at a forty-five degree angle. “Hey! Watch what yer dentin'' there!” Apple Jack cackles. “Trust me! I've done this before!” “When?” “Ten seconds from now!” Rainbow Dash grabs the copper rooster and spins the weather-vane like a buzz saw. With a furious growl, she snaps her hooves onto either side of the raincloud and slaps it over the spinning wind meter, so that a deluge of water droplets are machine gun'd in every cardinal direction like a gigantic sprinkler: TCH-TCH-TCH-TCH-TCH! No sooner is this sight gag orchestrated; Rainbow is dashing back towards the crowd, snatching another raincloud from a shiveringly scared Pegasus' grasp before knocking him off his wings with the sonic concussion of her hurtling proximity. Big Macintosh buckles to the Earth and Apple Jack struggles with a jittery hoof to keep her hat on. “Rain'boooooo!” She howls above the deaffening wind. SWOOO-OOOO-OOOOSH! But Rainbow Dash is currently rocketing towards the East end of the farm, wielding the raincloud in both front hooves like a tomahawk missile. Her face ripples from the g-force as she burns a bombing run down the unsuspecting rows of delicious orchards. “Grrrrr—I'm gonna water the ever-living SNOT out of you!” A lasting grunt against the bulging pocket of air formed by her donward velocity, and she climaxes her dive by flinging the raincloud comet-hard straight into the bark of the nearest apple tree trunk. “Yeughhh!” The raincloud murderously pinballs against several dozen trees, spreading fountains of precipitation everywhere like liquid shrapnel. Dash pulls up, forms a comtrail from the sheer force of her vertical bank, barrel-rolls, and rockets back towards the barn—and the final rain cloud. “Slow down, Rain'bo! You're. Going. Too. Faaaaast!” Apple Jack shouts—But her drawling cries are in vain, for no sooner can she gasp that Rainbow Jack is upon the scene, snatching the last cloud, glancing north, glancing south, then taking the logical course of bolting straight up into the blue sky. “Now just where in tarnation is she going?” “Nnnnn-nnnn-nnnngh!” Rainbow Dash surges towards the stratosphere, the corners of her eyes frosting as she climbs an invisible altitude meter in her avarian skull. When the blue of the sky starts to exchange its hue for an otherworldly black—the anthill immensity of Equestria drawing distant and obscure beneath her—the raincloud subsequently solidifies in her grasp until it quite literally becomes a chunk of ice (cloud ice?). A misty exhale, and Rainbow flips in mid-air, aims the frozen object in her hand like a football, and launches it downward like the meteor she has haphazardly turned it into. Swiiiiish! Rainbow Dash doesn't immediately dive after this murderous bullet of her own craftsmanship. Rather, she waits two seconds, three, four, five—takes a massive breath—and begins the sky whistling hellborne plunge. FWOOOOSH! Meanwhile, many miles below, where saner creatures live and die, Apple Jack and Macintosh and the Pegasus squadron wait in the shadow of impending curiosity. “Just where did she tear off to? Ah swear; Ah'm gonna wring the colors of that fancy tail of hers right out her nose!” “Eeeyup.” A deep, resonating whistle fills the air—making the windows of the nearby farmhouse rattle on their hinges and even start to crack. Rivulets of water dance in surrounding water troughs, and the rows upon rows of apples start to dangle pendulumously from their branches. “What in all that is good and holy is that awful racket...?” Apple Jack murmurs allowed. The Pegasi overhead suddenly jolt, all of them staring wide-eyed heavenward as they see what they're trained to see long before any Earth Pony could possibly conceive spotting. “Uh oh.” “'Uh oh' what?” Apple Jack squints. A nervous 'NeEeEe!' squeaks out from the group, and they all bolt in various frightful directions from ground zero. “Hey! Where y'all runnin' off to—Oh land'o'goshen no....” Apple Jack's green eyes dilate in abstract horror as a huge glistening orb of white frost barrels down towards the farm, gathering moisture, tripling in size, throttlingly hot in its unnatural and frictious plunge into the great gasping breast of the Earth. This already Herculean sight is swiftly and theatrically overwhelmed by a certain dive-bombing blue pony, her tail practically catching fire from the sheer speed of her plummeting—as she zeroes in on the body of the frozen cloud with the precision of a cruise missile. With a victorious battle roar, Rainbow Dash overtakes the white frosted comet... ...by plowing straight through it. P-POW!! The icy sphere explodes into a million-million tiny silver daggers of crystalline water, embedding into every tree, every branch, every square inch of soil, every stretch of wooden finish, and every visible speck of foliage across the north and south ends of the farm. The air is momentarily punctuated by the pincushion impact noises of every jagged shard puncturing every solid thing ever. Then, after an absurd length of three or four silent seconds—steam rises—a hissing, a crackling; and then every icy chunk explodes in sloshing vomits of rainwater that soaks every orchard in sight, and then some—to say the very underwhelming least. “Whew!” Rainbow Dash flutters, flutters, flutters down in unassuming grace and perches her proud self atop a nearby gazebo while a flurry of rain drizzles down steadily on all sides of her. “How do you like them apples....watered?” She smirks, blinks up at her mane—which is frozen solid. Tonguing the corner of her lips, she flicks her hair with the edge of a hoof and shatters it into the trademark frazzled collection of bangs. “Heheheh. Was that worth your ticket, AJ?” Silence. She blinks and peers down from the rainsoaked gazebo roof. “Apple Jack--?” She freezes, bug-eyed. Apple Jack and Macintosh are huddled, trembling under the gazebo. The mare in question's hat now sports over four dozen ice-shaped holes, and her blonde mane beneath is soaked as if it has just swept the ocean floor. To say that she's glaring right now at Rainbow Dash would be an understatement. “Errr..... ...Eh heh heh heh...” Rainbow Dash rubs the back of her mane, wings drooping nervously. “So... ...Wh-What exactly are you thinkin', Apple Jack?” “.... .... ...” Apple Jack gets up with a sigh and marches off, abandoning the shellshocked, shivering form of Macintosh behind in the gazebo. “Ah think Ah'm fixin' to order meh some more sky doors.” “GULP,” Rainbow Dash gulps and darts skyward, opposite to the rain. “L-Later!” “Apple Jack is a hoot. Seriously, she is. I'm not all that sure why I'm bothering to take this moment to write about her. Just thinking about her twangy voice makes me go sniffing myself to see if I just rolled in sawdust. And when I say 'sawdust', what I really mean is—Eh, scratch that. I don't think Twilight would want me putting that joke in a letter sent to the Princess of the Life Giving Sun and all. “Okay, before anything else, I just wanna get this out there: You think a pony who lives every Equestria-forsaken moment of her life obsessing over apples would be colored anything but frickin' orange! I swear, sometimes when she walks up the road and I see her tiny red cutie marks, I feel like stopping in traffic to watch a bunch of schoolfoals board her through a door in her neck. “But nah—I'm not meaning to sound cruel to Apple Jack. She's a really swell pony, and an amazing friend—even if I wanna kick her teeth out and grow roses in their place sometimes. She's the one with the Element of Honesty, yanno? Or was it 'hayseed'. Whatever—I'm not all that sure if we ever paid a second mind to our Elements, to be perfectly frank. I think I've still got mine somewhere—Or perhaps I emptied my sock drawer? Eh, whatever. Socks are for wusses. “Apple Jack is a very dependable pony. Gosh knows she's had every reason to bury me with her brother's plow ten times over by now. I kind of like hanging out with her when she's not rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about the GREAT FAMILY FARM. Those days before the Fall Season when we did the whole Iron-Pony Competition thing; that was kinda fun. And, heck, even you remember all the fun we had during the Running of the Leaves. At least I hope you remember it as 'fun', not that I'm trying to insist that a Princess who's lived for several thousand years is susceptible to senility or anything. Okay, dang it, am I going to have scrap this whole paragraph? Let's just see how the rest of this page goes. “Yes, if there's any one thing I could say about Apple Jack, to summarize all that she means to me as a friend and as a shoulder to lean on, to express every deep feeling of respect that I have for her and continue to dream for in the presence of her, it's that--.... .... ..... .... ... .... .... ... ... ... ... ...” Rainbow Dash squints. She lies on a hilltop overlooking the river that wraps around Ponyville and all but plows her pen into the brown parchment, scribbling desperately to make a mark, but ultimately failing to produce anything else after her very last word. She squints at the pen, taps it on the parchment, squints at it again, all-but-slams it a final time, then finally drops the thing across the half unfurled scroll of paper and blinks at it in momentary frustration. That frustration gives way to a mock sigh—underneath which is the not-so-subtlest of restrained smirks. “Huh—It's out of ink.” She waves a hoof dramatically overhead. “OH WELL.” Rainbow Dash's wings flex to pull her upwards, abandoning the pen and paper for the warming embrace of the sky-- “Hiya, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo dips down from out of nowhere, almost colliding with her. “Nnnght---!” Rainbow Dash's mane shoots up like spectral lightning and sags back to her neck as she flutters back down to the hilltop, exhaling long and hard. “Yeesh—When did it start raining foals?” “I'm not a foal!” Scootaloo gags visibly and folds her hooves. “I'm nearly eight!” “If you wanna live to see nine, pipsqueak, you'd better say what's on your mind.” “How's your letter to the Princess going?” “What letter?” “Grrrrr—Rainbow Dashhhhh--” “Nnngh—Fine.” Rainbow Dash backtrots and jerks a pointing hoof towards the quasi-offending parchment. “Ta-daaaaaaaa. Don't go drooling over it yet. It's not finished.” “It isn't?” Scootaloo blinks and plops down on the grass so that her snout is practically burying into the papery surface of the last page. Her wings flutter twitchingly with pre-pubescent excitement. “But—Wow, Rainbow—You've written so much!” The Blue Pegasus blinks cross-eyed. “I h-have?” “It's like four pages already! I was almost scared you'd get bored of it in the first penstroke!” Scootaloo peers up and grins, her pink eyes sparkling girlishly. “You must be enjoying yourself!” “I—Snkkkt—Nnngh—Tchhh! No.” Rainbow Dash frowns. “I'm just... ....yanno... ....wingin' it. Nothing to it, really.” “Nothing to four pages?” “Absolutely—Er...” Dash bites her lip nervously. “Wh-Why? Is....Is four pages too long?” “Ever thought of getting yourself an editor?” “What the hay is that supposed to mean?” “I dunno...” Scootaloo glances nervously aside. “It's what Sweetie Belle always says to me when I share her my latest song lyrics.” “Ah, I see. And just which one is Sweetie Belle again? Is she the one--?” “--that smells. Yeah.” Scootaloo shuffles the sheets in her grasp and flips to the fist page. “This is some really nice paper.” “Yeah, Twilight Sparkle gave it to me. Beats me where she gets it from. Is there a paper mill in Equestria? If so, I bet that's where Sweaty Blossom's parents work.” “Shhh—I'm trying to read this!” Scootaloo excitedly squirms. “Oh—well(!)—by all means.” Rainbow Dash frowns and makes a nasty face behind Scootaloo's petite hindquarters. “Help yourself to my most personal and private spilling of the inner soul to the esteemed Royal Princess of Canterlot! Ptchh!” She leans against a tree. She flicks her wings about. She rubs a hoof against the wooden bark. She gazes at the grass. She blinks. She gulps, she nervously smiles, and she finally glances forlornly in the direction of Scootaloo's backside. “So....uh... .... ...Is it g-good stuff?” “.... .... ..... .... ....” “Yes? No? Maybe?” “... .... .... .... .... ...” “Uhhhh.... ...Pipsqueak?” Rainbow Dash's blue coat pales slightly as she sweatdrops. “....Scoots?” Scootaloo turns the paper at a forty-five degree angle, squinting harder. “Is—er--Is this...? Did you write this thing in English?” “No, I expressed myself in Galactic Basic—What do you think?” Rainbow Dash marches over to the squatting filly, grumbling. “I swear to Alicornia, what inane dribble is Mrs. Cherilee teaching you hare-brained foals these days—Gimme that!” She yanks the parchment from the young peach pegasus' grasp and holds it up to the Sun. “See there? At the beginning? It clearly reads: 'Dear Princess Celestia--'” “Rainbow Dash....” “Yeah, what?” Scootaloo leans her chin on a hoof and stares up boredly at the blue Pegasus. “You've got it upside down.” Dash blushes. “Oh.” She flips it rightside up and nearly vomits. “Whoah!—Yeeesh. Eh heh... ...Guess I wrote that part in the shadow of a cloud.” She flips to the second page. “And that part.” The third page. “And that part.” Flipping. “And that--” Scootaloo hovers up in front of the letter and stares Rainbow Dash point-blanc in the face with puppy dog eyes. “Rainbowwwww—Aren't you gonna take this seriously?” “Hey! I am taking this seriously!” Rainbow Dash frowns and blows the gasping Scootaloo away with a whip of her wings. “I only wish I could say the same about my hooves!” She sighs. Scootaloo hovers upright and gestures with two emphatic arms. “Why didn't you just tell me you had bad hoofwriting to begin with?” “I like to call it 'coltligraphy impairedness'.” “Well I call it 'silly'!” Scootaloo folds her arms and frowns. “Especially if you knew from the get-go that you were writing to a Princess!” “What are you going on about? Doesn't the Castle of Canterlot have—like—servants to proofread these things before it reaches Celestia's eyes?” “Not last time Twilight Sparkle explained it to me and the girls!” “Well—Celestia should know better! Goddess forbid the day that Twilight's dragon slave burps a letter to the Immortal Lady of the Sun and it has white powder in it or some crud.” “Rainbowwwww--” “What? Stop looking at me like I just spiked your cupcakes.” “Why don't you let me solve your penponyship problem?” “You?” Rainbow Dash blinks narrowly. “You—Purveyor of skateboards and ziplines—Help me with my chicken scratches?” Scootaloo grins glisteningly. “I'll have you know I'm an expert at perfecting chicken scratches.” Dash smirks. “Boy, wouldn't that make a legendary cutie mark...” “Hush. Just trust your loyal and speedy assistant, Scootaloo!” “My loyal and speedy what-now?” “I've got just the thing, something I've been tinkering on. It'll give you an added advantage. Guaranteed!” “Ooooookay. See this? This is me nodding and humoring you.” “Nod all you want.” Scootaloo makes to take off for the far edge of Ponyville. “But, by all means—Don't stop writing your most awesome letter on account of me, Rainbow Dash!” “I....er....I-I kinda have to stop...” Dash shamefully digs the tip of her hoof into the ground. “Uhhh-H-Huh?” Scootaloo pauses in mid-air to blink back at her. “What for?” “I'm out of ink.” “You're kidding me! You're out of ink?” “Do hilltops have echoes?” “Then get some ink!” “Fine! Anything to get your 'loyal and speedy assitance' out of my mane!” Rainbow angles herself towards the distant center of downtown Ponyville. “And I know just the place! Quills and Sofas here I come--” Scootaloo interrupts the revved up Pegasus in mid-rocketing. “Don't be silly, Rainbow Dash! You know as well as I do that that store's always out of quills!” “Ughhh-Gawwwwd. Still?” Rainbow sags in midair. “You think for all of the Majestic and Nature-defiant Sun-Rising that Princess Celestia does, she'd stop for a brief moment to boost the Recession.” “For real, Rainbow Dash.” Scootaloo smiles gently. “Every Pegasus knows that there is only one place in all of Equestria where one can find endless supplies of ink at any time of the day or month or year!” “.... .... ...” Rainbow Dash blinks. She turns and scans the horizon until her violet eyes settle on the distant looming image of hazy Cloudsdale above. Suddenly, a dull sheen of memories pulls at her sulking blue features, inducing from the cold depths of her hollow being a cold and malnourished sigh. “Unnnnnnnghhhhhh.....” The front door to the Central Cloudsdale Post Office opens. A rattling bell above the swinging hinges sounds forth across the grand front atrium of the public delivery area. Several trots away, a middle-aged stallion balances precariously on top of a tall ladder as he slides various letters and little cardboard packages into an array of hollow shelves. A gust of tropospheric wind filters in coldly from the outside world and kicks at his green-and-gray mane hairs. Blinking brown eyes, the sky blue Pegasus glances over from a pile of parcels balanced precariously in his jittering hooves and focuses on the front door. He spits a pair of scrolls out from his mouth and—gasping for breath—dutifully recites: “Good Morning and Welcome to the Cloudsdale Post Office! My name is Blue Farrier, how can I help you toda-a-a-a-AAAH-WHOAH!” He teeters back, blue wings flailing for futile balance as gravity slams him hard on his hindquarters, a cornacopia of flung packages spilling all around his dizzied form. “Nnnngh....” Wincing, he glances up and brightens rather quickly. “Oh! Heh-Heh—Hey th-there, my little Rainbeam! What a s-surprise!” “Mmmmmmnngh....” Rainbow Dash determinedly avoids his gaze, choosing instead to boredly glare in the direction of the Post Office's walls, one after another, her tail swishing absent-mindedly in time with her mumbling voice. “Heya, Dad.”