Rock farms are boring places. Igneous Rock Pie and his best friend Cloudy Quartz want out. Unfortunately for them, destiny has other plans.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Ancestral Tribute contest. Chest out the other stories here!

You find love where you find it, and Sunset Shimmer found it somewhere she never thought to even look. But happy as she is, she just can't bring herself to tell her friends about it.

A tale about stolen moments and beef jerky kisses. A down and dirty, good old fashioned love story.

An entry for Oro's Sunset Shimmer Shipping Contest ("Journeys" Edition)

Princess Twilight and Rarity are dating.

The other Rarity in Twilight's life isn't quite sure how she feels about any of this.

Her house is in the northeast section of Ponyville, near the Whitetail Woods, and she is not married. She takes care of dozens of animals, both pets and wild critters, and she gets home every day by 8 PM at the latest. She is always in bed by 11 PM, and makes sure to get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, she usually has no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a foal, she wakes up without any fatigue or stress in the morning.

Fluttershy is a pony who wishes to live a very quiet life. She takes care of others with simple needs and makes sure that they're content, living vicariously through their own joy. That is how she deals with society, and she knows that is what brings her happiness.

Although, if she were to fight she wouldn't lose to anypony.

This story is an entry in Aragon's Comedy (is Serious Business) contest, with the prompt "We Learned Something, Unfortunately".

Princess Celestia has been planning for this day for years: the return of Nightmare Moon, the restoration of the Elements of Harmony, and the ushering of Equestria into a new age of friendship and love. Now that it's finally arrived, all she has to do is wait for Twilight to get to Ponyville, make some friends, hunt down the Elements, and save the...

Wait, what'd that letter say?

She didn't get on the chariot?

She went to whose party instead?

Oh. Oh, this could be bad. And more importantly, it's gonna need some hooves-on interference from Celestia to get her master plan back on track. But it'll probably all work out in the end. After all, how big a deal could one party be?

Third-place finalist in Aragon's "Comedy (Is Serious Business)" contest

There's a crime wave gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone, and nopony on the City Watch seems to care. Corporal "Rainbow" M. Dash naps through her patrols, her partner Dobby is an infamous kleptomaniac, Captain Rhymes is a drunkard, and the entire Watch is a group of burnt-out misfits.

They're about to meet a batpony (adopted) by the name of Carrot, visiting town to return an overdue library book.

And none of their lives will ever be the same.

A crossover/homage to the "City Watch" books of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, written to be readable without any familiarity with the series (though they're excellent, and if you do read them you'll catch my Pratchett in-jokes).

Winner of Aragon's "Comedy Is Serious Business" Contest! "I was quoting this offline for days, forgetting where I was remembering the lines from. … This story made me legitimately jealous, both of its cleverness and of its funniness." –Contest judge MrNumbers

Rated ★★★★★ by Louder Yay! "The best comedy I've read in a long time."

"Highly Recommended" by Super Trampoline! (Video review here @ 09:17) "It's 13,000 words long, but it doesn't feel long, because so much fun stuff is happening."

Reviewed by Ghost Mike! "It features meticulously laboured-over prose, rhyming with actual metre for Zecora, perfectly-timed jokes and reveals that are often outrageous, a sneakily clever plot and character investment that works its magic throughout ... This is a phenomenally executed piece of work."

Other reviews: Present Perfect | City of Doors

Thank you to Themaskedferret and Caliaponia for prereading, and GaPJaxie for motivation/inspiration!

Raven is the freshly minted secretary to Princess Celestia. After plenty of harrowing experience under the Princess, Raven thinks she finally understands the job. But the unexpected strikes: an insular race of crazy foxes make a surprise visit to the castle! Can Raven make it through the day in one piece? Can she keep up with the manic immortal alicorn? And above all...

Can she keep it professional? She is, after all, the secretary.

***

Thanks to Alex_ And Mike!

An entry for some funny guy and his funny stories.

Diplomacy, foreign relations, cultural exchange, all important duties that Twilight needs to learn as a princess. Fortunately, this foray in to the unknown is made much easier when she meets a lovely foreign pony from the French Equestrian Kingdom who's willing to be friends with her.

Now, if only they could actually understand each other.

Series of oneshots set in a RariTwi AU based on the prompt, "Rarity and Twilight are princesses from different countries, smitten with each other despite being unable to communicate".

Beautiful cover art by foldawaywings !

If diplomacy is an art form, then it's surely the most boring one of the lot. After a full day of fruitless trade negotiations with the Crystal Empire, I'm about ready to give up my royal title if it means avoiding more mind-numbing talks tomorrow. In the meantime, though, at least there's a nightclub in town. And from what I've heard, her Highness Princess Flurry Heart is its most frequent, infamous, and insatiable patron.

On second thought, maybe this trip won't be as tedious as I thought.

My entry for FanOfMostEverything's "Imposing Sovereigns" contest, using the prompt "Partier Flurry Heart. Rated Teen for language, drug use, and suggestive (but non-explicit) content.

Cover image cropped from this piece by Plainoasis. (Sorry, Glim-Glam, but you're not in this story so you had to go.)

Thanks to Themaskedferret for editing/cheerleading assistance.

In his influential analysis of the coup d'etat that would become known as the Rutting Revolution, Curly Marks wrote that history repeats itself — "the first time as tragedy, the second time as Prince Blueblood."

Marks actually used other words in place of the name, but this is a family-friendly publication.

* * * * *

This story is a sprawling literary mash-up of Prince Blueblood, the French Revolution, linguistic homicide, male suffrage, Prince Blueblood, educational blackmail, epically bad puns, and Prince Blueblood. Also a story about how to be a hero when you're rotten to the core. But mostly, Blueblood.

First-place winner of the "History Repeats" writeoff * Featured on Equestria Daily
"Highly Recommended (Top 15 Stories)" by Titanium Dragon * "Highly Recommended" by PresentPerfect * Rated "Definitely Read This" by Super Trampoline
"★★★★" from Louder Yay * Other word of mouth