• Member Since 6th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen August 10th


Lipstick on her reefer, waiting... for a match...


Raven is the freshly minted secretary to Princess Celestia. After plenty of harrowing experience under the Princess, Raven thinks she finally understands the job. But the unexpected strikes: an insular race of crazy foxes make a surprise visit to the castle! Can Raven make it through the day in one piece? Can she keep up with the manic immortal alicorn? And above all...

Can she keep it professional? She is, after all, the secretary.


Thanks to Alex_ And Mike!

An entry for some funny guy and his funny stories.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

I love it! Snufics so good :)


Alex is the goods <3

Who made the cover art?

Dat puss is DYNOMITE!

Raven is one bitchin secretary.


It's the cover for issue 61 of the IDW comics!



Entertaining, though with some curious choices in terms of character voicing, and the cave scene feels very disjointed in terms of keeping track of what's actually happening. Still, a fun read. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.


Thank you! I'm no good with comedy, so I just wrote what was the most fun (inb4 'this isn't a comedy!'). However the quality may have suffered, I'm still glad it was fun to read!

This is certainly an interesting take on Celestia and Raven.

I sandwiched my face between the bamboo bars of the cage. The cave was dark. A shinobi sat across from me, campfire burning. His metal paw stoked it as he watched me.

These guys are really asking for the Sunflayer to show up.

I like Gizō.

Bristle and Barr are fun, too.

“Understand that this abominable mare is at stake,” he purred. “You are to surrender. That is, unless you think you could strike me as lightning would.”

Celestia shot him with lightning. My life flashed before my eyes. And for a moment, I felt like my body was on fire!

Nice. Shame it didn't seem to do anything, but nice.

Oh baby . Explosions. I licked my lips. “Now we’re talking. Show us where they be, and we’ll blow those motherfuckers sky high.”

Raven is a bit scary.

No time to waste. The adrenaline was real. Another shinobi jumped me. I showed him why they caw-lled me Raven. A flick of the horn sent one of my spectral messenger birds straight for his face. His desperate wrassle distracted him enough for me to run by.


“I’m Celestia’s motherfucking secretary.”

Somewhere, Rainbow Dash heard and approves.

Oh hey, there's Sunflayer finally. A little late for the fight, but I was waiting all story for her.

“I’ll call Luna. Her night guard is good about cleaning up crime scenes.”

“That’s pretty— wait, what?”

Wait, what?

That was fun.

Interesting. Can we get some artwork of Sunflayer?

Author Interviewer

I really wish I could figure out what you were trying to do with this story. :/

Me too! I decided to enter a comedy contest, but never wrote a comedy before, so I just wrote was fun instead (all for the sake of writing SOMETHING). Basically, it's all just cool ideas that I thought of on the fly, and I did my best to make sense of them! I'm sorry it didn't jive ;-;

You should add a Raven Inkwell tag to this fanfic. I would not have found it if I was not a member of the Raven Inkwell Group.
Which would have been sad, because this was a lot of fun!

There is one?? I shall fix immediately! Thank you for reading!

That was pretty fun.

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