There was only one explanation. For all of it. All of the strange, erratic behavior. Her irrational fear of the sun. Her nocturnal habits of locking herself in in the dark and closing all the blinds. Wearing her sunglasses everywhere, even inside! It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake.

The Doctor always travels with a companion, usually a human. But when he appears on a world that he has no prior knowledge of, he picks up a new companion. One that is not human, but a pony named Twilight Sparkle.

Now that the Doctor has a new companion, what crazy adventures will they encounter in space and time?

Note: The Doctor being used in this story is the tenth incarnation, and he is not a pony, he is the humanoid Doctor. And this is not a romance, it's an adventure story.

It has been several months since the disappearance of Twilight Sparkle..

One night, after watching her sister raise the Moon and set the heavens alight, Princess Celestia begins to bed down for the night, only to be interrupted by portal forming in her room. From out of the portal comes none other than Twilight Sparkle, garbed in strange armor.

Princess Celestia, along with Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor, are overjoyed by the Element of Magic's return, but are justifiably curious as to where she had been and what she had been doing. And so, Twilight begins her tale. A tale of survival against impossible odds. A tale of a people fighting for the most basic right of all sentient beings. The right to exist.

Lyra knows the truth. Lyra knows that a shadowy conspiracy dating back to the very dawn of Equestria is responsible for manipulating every major event for the past two thousand years. And Lyra does not care how many museums she has to destroy or how many transdimensional rifts she has to open in her quest to inform the public.

Now with cover image by Madmax! http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/3595/theyaretheworst.png
Spanish translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/No-servir-a-estos-ponis-999961442

Audiobook: https://youtu.be/W8W0xxVHtmI

A Cutie Mark is meant to represent the personality and special talent of each pony that has one. Cheerilee's flowers symbolize her desire to help her students bloom, and the smiles represent the cheer that she hopes to bring to their lives.

At least...that's what she tells everypony who asks.

[SEMI-SAD]

Okay, I don't know if anyone can hear this, or read this, or whatever, but I'm trying my best to use Pinkie Pie's legendary fourth-wall-breaking powers to try and get a message out.

If you can hear this, I need help. I'm in Equestria, and man, this is strange. But I'm also stuck in Pinkie Pie's body, for some reason.

Yes, it's just as weird as it sounds. And now, I need your help... because all the ponies in this town think I'm crazy!

Humans.

Truth or myth? Ancient lost civilization or just an old pony's tale?

No pony has ever seen one, and most haven't even heard of them. But Lyra knows that these wonderful creatures are more than just old legends, and she's going to find out... and possibly drive her roommate insane in the process.

Twilight and Dash, upon discovering that the long awaited "Daring Doo 4" movie contains, eugh, Humans, decide to rent out A Nightmare Moon on Elm Street.

Of course all their friends are invited. There is absolutely no way any shenanigans could possibly ensue.

None.

A single changeling is cut off from the swarm during the attack on Canterlot. She's discovered by Vinyl Scratch and adopted as a pet. How will Wubsy the changeling, Vinyl, and Octavia cope when the town develops Changeling-phobia? Will Wubsy ever be able to prove her good intentions and stay with the mare she's grown so attached to? Rated Teen for off-page lesbian pony make-out session.

My bid to make "Wubsy" a more official part of the fannon. Check the source of the fic image to see the comic that started it all.

A gracious thank you to GarlicParsnip, Comma-Kazie, Chengar Qordath, JJ GingerHooves and Steel Resolve who proofread and co-authored the piece.

Seriously, a lot.

(Now with a Spanish translation by the generous SPANIARD KIWI!)