What if Twilight Sparkle hadn't been such a pushover in The Ticket Master? What if she had been just a little bit more...spiteful?

Remember S1E3: The Ticket Master? It bothered the hell out of me that Twilight just let her so-called friends walk all over her like that, so...call this a dark humor catharsis fic.

EDIT: Featured on 08/14/2020 - Thank you so much!

Luna is the small-chested princess. The petite princess. Celestia's big, beautiful chest floof drives everyone wild, but Luna plans to overtake her sister at last. All she needs is a discreet clinic capable of a simple procedure:

A floof job.

Now with a dramatic reading!

Now with a Chinese translation!

All the castle staff of Canterlot know that when seven-year-old Twilight Sparkle has a problem, the correct answer is always "Let Celestia handle it." But this time? Celestia's student has come up with a theory that she wasn't quite expecting.

Yeah, this needs fixing.

Just a short little something that hit me out of the blue and demanded to be written. Not my usual cup of tea; criticism welcome.

This is absolutely adorable, and exactly what you should read if you're looking for something sweet and cute that won't test your brain or stomach, but will test your smile muscles.

—Louder Yay

Check Ichabod Creep's Audio Reading!

Special thanks to Super Trampoline for pre-reading!

Cover art used with permission from mysticalpha.

In the far reaches of Canterlot Castle, high above in the towers lived the archmage. Everypony knew her, yet few had met her.

Twilight Sparkle sighed, having teleported away another noble seeking favors before reaching the top of the stairs for the second time today. They never learned. As the archmage, she already dealt with political squabbles far too often without inviting them into her home. Aside from personal favors for Celestia, she did what was required of her position and then returned to seclusion and research.

The nobility grumbled that no archmage should be a commoner, and Twilight’s disrespect toward them proved it. Each and every time they were forced to bow to her, they hated what they saw: the position, the status, the deference.

Was she not powerful? Was she not great?

Twilight, now reading through dusty scrolls and long forgotten tales, wrote in her notes — notes gathering dust of their own. A brief thought flashed through her mind.

Am I not powerful? Am I not great?

And then Twilight picked up The Tale of the Royal Pony Sisters.

Defunct side stories told in Across the Boundary. They can still provide a little context, but when in doubt, the main story here is canon.

Cover art provided by Lafiir

Have you ever been so angry that you turned your faithful student into a princess?

A tongue-in-cheek (hoof-in-mouth?) response to the fandom reaction following the announcement of Princess Twilight.

A Long time ago, when apple cider still cost 1/3th of a bit, Celestia hid a slice of pizza, in the hope that if it ever went extinct, she would be able to savor the taste one more time. Sadly for her, she decided to hide it in a temple filled with "deadly" traps.

Story Made for: Chaotic's Pre-Summer Writing Contest: The Preliminaries

Note
This story is ancient by now and definitely not up to par with my more recent works

Shocking, how Celestia never taught Cadance the Royal Canterlot Voice. And Twilight will need to learn it as well. What can a Princess of the Night do but hold a class to teach this essential art for princesses? Hopefully she knows how to maintain classroom discipline....

Cover by Guardian Core.

In the wake of Rarity’s ‘improvement’ spree, the Princesses have a discussion about their duties and what it means to be a princess… also they complain a lot… In fact they mostly just complain.

It's that day. The one day of the year that Celestia dreads more than anything in the world. And too bad for her, everyone seems intent on making her go through such an awful occasion. Well, at least she gets cake at the end of it.

Thanks to my editors Skeeter The Lurker, Xl9 and The Abyss for all their help!

Art from the very talented http://yubi-note.tumblr.com. Go check them out!

Twilight has always been the best there is at magic. She's won dozens of scholarly competitions and tests of skill in Canterlot. But when it comes to the more violent uses for magic, she is essentially clueless.

When she meets a strange unicorn in a seedy bar, he introduces her to a little known sport that will test her knowledge of magic in different ways. That is, of course, if Twilight can't resist its primal lure.