• Member Since 15th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 24th, 2015

Gaekub


T

Twilight has always been the best there is at magic. She's won dozens of scholarly competitions and tests of skill in Canterlot. But when it comes to the more violent uses for magic, she is essentially clueless.

When she meets a strange unicorn in a seedy bar, he introduces her to a little known sport that will test her knowledge of magic in different ways. That is, of course, if Twilight can't resist its primal lure.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 162 )

The title is pretty convincing.

gonna read it later!:pinkiehappy:

Great writing - Excellent characterization - Intriguing plotline

I have GOT to see where this is going! :raritystarry:

that was very very good writing, frankly; there is nothing in that piece that i did not like, funny as hell but still very interesting in plot-line sort of way. definitely want more!:pinkiehappy:

Not sure what to think of this... eh, I'll give it a shot.

Hmmm, no tags. Not sure....

562072 If you can suggest a tag (or if anyone can) I'd really appreciate it. I have no idea what to call this.

562492

Probably Slice of Life or Adventure. Its hard to tell what direction the fic will take, but on first read through it seems intresting enough and i look forward to more.

Keep going...

563953 Thanks for the tip. To be honest, I don't understand the categories in the slightest. I'll probably end up choosing one or the other once I figure out where it's going. (I've got an outline in my head, but these things tend to get away from me)

yes! update! i've been looking forward to this:pinkiehappy: now i only have to wait for the next chapter...:fluttercry:

Well this is gonna get interesting.. poor twilight and her awkward situations and overthinking.

Silver Chimes is pretty damn cool with his whole "I am an elder badass but I have so much fun with it" thing.

Looking forward to the next update!

Nice job on the OCs, I actually like Silver Chimes and the bartender so far. Keep up the good work!

Another great chapter :pinkiehappy:

Looking forward to the rest of the story!

600414 That is him in a nutshell. And that makes me happy :pinkiehappy:

Alright guys and gals, I was just reading through this chapter, trying to make sure I wasn't adding too many inconsistencies in the next one, (Did You Know: I completely forgot Silver was missing an eye? It's true!) when I came across this little gem:

"[Spike] slouched and cradled his cradled in his hands"

Wow. That... that is just the worst. I accept a few grammatical and spelling errors, but that is terrible. I've fixed it now, but I'm sure this won't be the last time. So while I am going to try and edit harder in the future, and I'm not expecting you guys to be my editors, if you do see a mistake, I'd really appreciate a quick comment about it. You're not going to hurt my feelings, and it's the only way I'll learn.

That said, if you don't want to, of course you don't have to. You don't owe me anything; I owe all of you for being willing to overlook my occasional :derpytongue2: and read what I write. Thank you.

InB4 Twilight gets all four of her hooves as well as her horn, mane, tail, and cutie mark handed too her in 5 minutes. I'd start looking for a proofreader BTW, you missed a couple of punctuation marks.

i dont know why, but i REALLY like this story:pinkiehappy: (it's not even that far into the story-line yet:derpyderp2:), if i could bounce in joy without waking up everyone in the house as well as not both look and feel stupid; i would have when i saw the update: MOAR! :raritydespair:

It's good, but you're missing a TON of punctuation for your dialogue. Like, the closing bits. This guide is pretty damn great for helping yourself out with little things like that.

692272 Oh hey, I didn't realize you were supposed to put a comma between the line and the speech tag. That is a good thing to know, thanks for the link. ...I have a lot of dialogue to fix now.

"and she both soundly and much later than usual." Noticed it while reading.
This next scene is going to be beautiful. Also, I can't help but imagine Kyle XY's training warehouse. That makes this 20% cooler :pinkiehappy:

I hope Twiight has a good dentist, 'cause she's gonna be gummin' her food after this

Can't wait for the next chapter.

694849 Thank ya very much. I've got a proof reader now, so this sort of thing should be much less common.

In a paraphrase of littlepip, (fallout equestria) " they always fall for the pick up an abject from behind them and prop it on them trick."
I approve of this tactic :raritywink:
Also, FIRST! :trollestia:

"I'm Spell Breaker! Your spells don't work on me! I'm immune to your pathetic magic!"

"Oh yeah? Are you immune to large rocks as well?"
-rocks fall, everyone dies-
"*********!!!"

"the magic of concussions" had me on the floor :rainbowlaugh:

Great chapter that's one way to win a match.

You know Silver Chimes said that Celestia considers battle magic a brutal sport that she would outlaw if she could. He didn't say she didn't like it. I bet she's an avid follower of the sport and gets the circulated descriptions every day. "Dusk Shine" isn't a very subtle nickname and a purple unicorn who beats all of her opponents with a different spell custom tailored to their weaknesses would probably raise a mental flag or two.

awesome!:pinkiehappy: i needed this:pinkiecrazy: a little sad that the chapters are a little short for this far in between new ones though:pinkiesad2:
the moment i read that he was immune to direct magic i was thinking:"just throw a rock at him, how hard can it be...". well, she got it eventually at least...then she made up for lost time by tossing more than one rock...:pinkiecrazy:

I wonder what Twilight would do against Spell Breaker in a rematch. The telekinesis worked this time because he was too arrogant and just stood there to let her get a big spell off. Next time he'll be on her like white on rice and the TK trick will be too slow.

Maybe she could infuse her own body with magic to give herself super-strength ala an Earth Pony and clobber him hoof to hoof.

There needs to be Twi vs. Rarity, where Rarity has been out of the BM scene for a while and when she decides to have one last match before quitting for good, and it's with Twilight.

twilight tsk tsk that took you far to long to figure out
BUT more than one rock does make up for it

I assume that the official accounts that are spread after the fight use only vague descriptions of the fighters and avoid mentioning things like their Cutie Marks in order to preserve their privacy.

But, there is another source of information and descriptions about them available. Word of mouth from the audience members. While a typical fighter doesn't need to worry about it a truly exceptional one who sets fans afire with excitement and has their stage name become a household name would have both obsessed fans and rivals looking for an edge scrounging for every scrap of information they can get. Presumably cameras are banned at the matches at the very least because pony-tech cameras appear to be a bit primitive and pretty much require a flash for every shot. Wouldn't want a great fight ruined by one of the combatants getting a freak loss because they were blinded. Still as every exclusive event and convention that forbids cameras will tell you people can get very creative when it comes to smuggling them in and disguising the shot.

Basically what I'm getting at is that as "Dusk Shine's" fame grows keeping her true identity a secret from the rest of Equestria will gradually become virtually impossible.

I wonder how long until Dusk Shine becomes a well know name.

Okay, that took a while. It's been a crazy month, and I'm hoping to get back on a reasonable schedule now. (My hope is weekly, but we'll see if that pans out.)

well, this at least keeps the realism in post-match injuries. Nice touch.

This is good.. I definitely want more!

awesome chapter:pinkiehappy:! it has almost been painful to see these relatively short chapters with the previous release time, as such im glad the releases are about to get a bit more frequent.:raritystarry:

i hope twilight doesn't get lasting brain injury from this, although im guessing we will see some consequences from her brain damage for a short time at least.

as she collapsed in the forest i was thinking of what luna's reaction would be (don't ask my why i was thinking of her at that point...), we can all guess what celestia's opinion of the whole thing will be, but we haven't got a clue towards luna's opinion...

it will be fun to see how twi's new skills transfer into her everyday life; i can imagine others surprise at seeing her new agility and reflexes in action when something unexpected happen and she reacts on instinct. another thing in that line of thought, since celestia taught her that basic casting/combat stance thingie; i imagine that the guards are using a similar approach in their training, to that end it would be pretty funny to see twi topple one of the royal guard in defense, in a similar way to how silver toppled twi during training, because of some misunderstanding or something (one of two guards mistaking her for a wanted mare or something and tries to arrest her while his partner is momentarily gone or something along those lines):rainbowlaugh:

Zecora should become Twi's official post-match healer.

Great chapter so Spike is the first one to figure out what Twilight is up to. Who will be the next one to find out? What will their reaction be like?

:rainbowhuh: Dash-Just when you think know somepony you find out their living a secret double life. What's next Fluttershy turning out to be Equestria's most wanted theif.

It would be awesome if Twilight and the others were in Manehattan or some where and get mugged. seeing the others reaction to her stompin a mudhole in them would be hilarious.

P.S. I loved the Pinkie Pie moment.

950695

I had a similar idea but it was monsters from the Everfree Forest instead. The fun part about Twilight's rationalization is that this is all training for self-defense is that it's on the money she does get into life-threatening situations on a regular basis and the best way to learn how to fight for real is to actually fight for real and at least the Battle Magic bouts have a medic on standby which is a leg-up on just getting into random streetfights. They do have a medic right? :rainbowhuh:

Different Topic: Most stories of this nature end with a Championship bout. But how would that work? With the fighters being anonymous to each other right up until getting into the ring a pony could face the Grand Champion at any time with no warning. Which goes counter to the interests bookies running the matches. Having a few weeks to hype up a title bout would bring in far too much betting revenue to give up. If some no-name beats the champion in an random match that's a huge source of potential bits lost.

955887 It's probably just exhibition matches that are random

i think you should do something rarely seen and have some thing from the gates of tarterus attack like a diablo like demon (fight style and strength wise) or a bunch of lesser demons that fight like unicorns where the rest of her friends start asking questions and of course have 1 or all of the list not accept her and disown her and 1or 2 that tries to get her to quit and 3-4 that are indifferent and 1-2 supporters and 1 that sends a army after her to get her to stop than locks her in jail until she agrees to stop and never looks at her in the same way again

and heres who i think they could be in those sit. (in order each section is in ())
(Rarity, Applejack, Bigmac, Celestia, Pinkiepie, Sweetiebelle, Shining, Mayormare )
(Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike, Lyra, Bonbon, Applebloom, Sweetiebelle)
(Applejack, Spike, Rainbowdash, Luna, Caramel, Bigmac and just about all the other charaters)
(Rainbowdash, the CMC, Bigmac, Pinkiepie, Silver, NMM, Fire Twilight (aka twilight rage), Trixie, Ironwill, a random ursa)
(Shiningarmor Celestia)
just food for thought

Okay, so apparently when I say "a week" I mean "two weeks". :facehoof:

Still hoping to get it down to weekly though, so I haven't given up.

I think the best option is for Twilight to learn healing magic correctly. If Twilight was only a Battle Magic competitor she has the option of relying on healing specialists or quitting. But she's an Element of Harmony and Knight of Equestria what happens if she breaks a limb again and the choice is between sloppy healing to be just in good enough shape to save the day, dealing with permanent crippling afterwards or letting the bad guys win. We all know what Twilight would do.

Not bad... Altho per

Ah you know what too tired to review.

Just a thumbs up.

Login or register to comment