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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Why do they still use him to guard others? He has a horrible track record.
Smiles...that was wrong. By the way what was his bet about that cost him 5 bits?
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He wasn't supposed to be there as a guard, he was supposed to be there to impress the king. The guard thing was incidental. That's why he didn't have any guard duties.
His bet was about Navarone's shape and size. Take that how you will.
I like sunny smiles...please tell me that he shows up more in later chaps.
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Why would they...bet on that...these guards really have nothing better to do.
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Is the Griffin king truly a pedophile? Celestia may have lied to Nav about that to cut him off from liking Bloodbeack and leaving Equeastria for the Griffins. And since he has the magical ring of FU Magic it seems more likely that he will run.
Everyone, check the comments on my user page. And when you do, you better not fucking stop reading here; I still want comments.
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Guards stand outside of Luna's door at all times. The things they hear... Well, rumors start.
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The original plan for that was yes. However, I'm leaning to it being another one of Celestia's lies. I actually thought about that when I was reformatting that chapter for FIM.
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You just gave me a huge ego boost.
Again, seriously, read the comments on my user page. I put up a download link for my entire story, including stuff not on FIM yet.
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It doesn't really matter one way or another; if Nav needed a place to flee, he wouldn't pick the griffons anyway. They are a powerful country, yes, but it's much too close to the seat of Equestrian power. It gives him an option if he can get out of Equestria freely, but if he has to run for it Gryphus just would not cut it. Besides, they're practically a vassal state to Equestria now.
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I tried to make some of the next chapters a bit lighter. I don't know how well I succeeded.
The king might seem like a cool guy, but you never really know. Royalty in this world has some really bad fetishes.
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You don't know the half of it.
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Dude you rule so much right now.
I going to give you my thoughts in the morn.
Epic saga Luke!
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In a way I'd prefer you to wait until I post the chapters. That way I have everything on each chapter in order. That's one reason I wasn't sure I should release it all so soon. Either way, do note that what is near the bottom is subject to revisions and being changed whenever I feel like it, so it is entirely possible that once you get near the end you'll have to reread and some things will be different. In some cases, this ends up giving spoilers. In other cases, it ends up wasting people's time.
In another way, though, I really want some fucking feedback on what I have up to now.
A nice adventure all in one chapter. So Nav has the night guard watching his back, nice. The griffin king wanted a human for himself, how much is he tempted to try and bring one? Will Cadance now more or less leave Nav alone in regards to subjects he does not wish to discuss? Or is she still having her delusions of having to fix him?
As far as the feedback goes, you will only hear complements about your work from your readers if you have not noticed yet.
Awesome chapter and cant wait for the next.
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You don't have to. Check my user page comments.
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I have. I find it more interesting to read your work when you release one chapter or two a day. It makes the days less monotones and makes me look forward to something in the evenings. Besides, if I read everything than how can I comment on your work in a timely and appropriate manner? Suspense makes stories so much more interesting.
Nice chapter. One mistake i spotted : " I don’t know what kind of training they want through.” : Replace want by went.
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Fixed it here and on the word document. Thanks, and try to look out for any more; my prereaders and I can't catch everything in a story this large.
“No. We have a few imaginative ones. And making your own isn’t that hard. Like… Thundercunt McFucklips.”- That is so true about us humans, we can make insults and funny names not nobodys business.
Enjoyable as always. I cracked up through most of it. Crazy Bitch McFucklips was probably the best, aside from the bit about beating the king to death with his own pecker (cackles) Oh, and the bit with Sunshine... PRICELESS!!! You must keep him as a secondary character. I mean, he has way too much potential to make Nav's life hell and also be a great friend!
Can't wait to read then next bit!
Think I found another one. Pig instead of big, right?
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I thought I had changed that one already. Either way, it's fixed now.
bent or went?
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That was technically correct, but I changed it anyway because it looked stupid.
And I'm finished, now... one question before I move on to the next chapter. How did nav get his crossbow? I thought it was locked up in his room with sunshine sexy bear. Oh, and he totally should have done naughty things with sunny... what? Don't judge.
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He left his quiver in there, but he kept his crossbow with him so he had a single round.
BEST...NAME...EVER!!!
....well that's one way to use stem cells to help in medical situations...ewwwww " AHHHH....AHHH its in my griffin wounds" >.<
he shoulda/coulda used the key next time they meet to see if he is a pedo
I would pay money to see that as well.
If you were selling tickets to all of these events i would be broke XD
when I first read this I thought the first sentence said "I love the beginning of the fall of Equistria" and I was like
Oh nav, your insults are the best. I would give you all of my money's to have situations in which this kind of wit is nessecarry.
I gave 9/10 for that name...No seriously WTF?
Trololololo?
If Celestia actually had heard that phrase, she probably would have had a sudden flashback to the age of Discords reign, and then she would have become more worried or even suspecious of Nav.
"when my hand snatched her tail feathers and yanked her back" Griffins in MLP have lion backsides with furry tails, no feathers. You yourself comment on this in later chapters.
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Fixed.
Wasn't this Bloodbeak talking? Hell is something from religion, and i've seen this mistake several other times in the story (Like when shiny woke up with a hangover and asked Nav
)
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Fixed
I see what you did there, and I find it very foreboding.
That name is almost as cool as Blurt McBabble.
3889956 don't forget the poor bastard named eggly bagelface or dick swet
Shouldn't that mini-horse be saying: to go by hoof?
I would rip his dick off and beat him to death with it...i could only imagine...
These rumors about the gryphon king, are they confirmed rumors they're working off of? Or just really bad rumors they're believing without verification?
He seems like an okay guy, and Nav-whatever likes him...He is so going to be evil, isn't he?
I have been waiting for a chance to use this gif, and haven't found one.
So I'm just going to do it.
25.media.tumblr.com/0e64cd2e0e5fa1172950983f6b1a5aab/tumblr_mtj9wfENrA1spxvoeo1_500.gif
4413072 OMG you have revealed Navs true form!
“You’ve met a king of a backwater and a queen that was basically a vassal. This is different, Nav.”
Is backwater being used as a noun or did you leave something out?
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http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/backwater?r=75&src=ref&ch=dic
Second definition.
3889956 Or Buttface McFartsalot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi9qKp7gJFU
Great chapter. Glad Nav got off relatively easy this time around. He needed a vacation from being a pawn in someone else's game.