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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Any writers here know that feel when you get out of a bog and feel refreshed as you write again? Some of the previous chapters were a fucking chore. This one felt nice. I wonder if everyone else will agree.
2434632 I agree. I get that feeling sometimes as well. I almost feels exciting having the words come easily.
2434632 i have to agree, this chapter kinda cool compared to some of the recent ones.
the only thing i dislike about it is that Gilda(new) seems a bit off at times. however, since nav noted this, i shall assume it was intentional.
yeah, I'm writing a story about a man that winds up as a character in the T.V. show, but he can travel between earth and equestria, sort of like the first series, or generation one if you will. Anyway, I am really enjoying it, but I have gotten up to the episode "Boast Busters" and I am having a bitch of a time writing it out. So I feel your pain.
Awesome as usual.
Couldn't Nav have a pacemaker made and wile he is using it have a new heart being grown?
I would love to edit for this story :) I've been reading from the beginning and I'm a huge fan. Please contact me if you'd want me to do that.
Feels good man.
2434632 I agree wholeheartedly to that stat.ent but I need to say this I have a prediction and I am scared please please don't let this be true but.. Is Taya developing an Oedipus complex? Or is she just wanting more father daughter time. I hope its tha later because poor navi deals with enough pain as is I don't want him to lose his bond with Taya. Aside from that keep up the good work as always!
The loveable scoundrel
Eve
2434890
If you ever see any mistakes, just send me a PM or leave a comment and let me know where and what it is. I have a number of prereaders that usually pick out most of the mistakes I make. I have a few post-readers that also help. Even then, we miss things. I find mistakes just about every time I read through a chapter to look for something. So while I'm not actively looking for editors, I'll happily fix any mistakes you happen to find.
2434900
You wouldn't believe the number of people I've had requesting this. That said, I'm not going to answer that question. Also, it would be an Electra complex since she's a chick and he's a dude. Oedipus is for dudes with their moms.
2434885
The problem is that he doesn't have a human heart anymore. He just has his weird plant things. The only reason he's still alive is because there wasn't actually a heart there to pierce. That said, it was still a very important part of his body and it might as well have been his heart for all the damage it's done to him.
2434776
Off in what way? She's a princess away from her center of power for the first time and being treated in a way that she isn't at all used to. She's going to have a few behavioral differences, especially since Navarone has a reputation. She wants their relationship to remain very strictly business.
you did good another awesome chapter!
Navarone needs a nemesis
I was almost expecting his attacking his heart to be intentional on Discord's behalf. What with getting chaos magic in there and having a kill switch on him just in case, I forgot who I was thinking about there. This is Discord we're talking about here! He can just wave his hand or think it and it would happen or some stupid shit like that! And Discord is starting to slip up? Ruh roh!
2434900 Agree with you there
This was a good chapter, lots of things to think about... the plot is starting to shape up, twists are developing, and discord is starting to squirm. That, I like. I too am curious about Taya's attitude toward Nav... Not that I particularly see anything absolutely horrible about her falling in love with Nav, but the pre-established father-daughter relationship adds a bit of a taint to the scenario. Though the fact that she wants Nav to take Fluttershy as a girlfriend somewhat dispels that notion... somewhat. I'm looking forward to the upcoming journey, and all of the interesting events that will bring together Nav's exploration party. I am a tad disappointed that Rainbow won't be going along... but I suppose it wouldn't really make sense. I did enjoy their interaction in the previous chapters. Not surprised Spike decided to go along, can't wait to hear his conversation with Reginald. I suppose he'll have to start hording so he can get big enough to be combat effective. I have enjoyed the increased interaction with Flo, I suppose being bedridden and physically inactive allows time for plenty of inner dialogue. There were some very profound conversations, that may carry a bit of hope for Nav. I like seeing at least a bit of light shining through the dark recesses of Nav's subconscious. It makes this story a lot less depressing to read. All in all this was a good fresh chapter, I am absolutely looking forward to the next update... you've done well to set up some very interesting events for the future.
Yay, I sense a new arc or at least the beginning of one :D
Always a pleasure to read :)
I found a rouge " mark but I ignored it because I didn't want to seem overbearing, then I read your comment and went back to find, sadly I couldn't. It's near the beginning and at the end of a paragraph. Good luck to anyone who decides to look for it. Kudos if you have already reported it.
Good morrow to you all!
This chapter does take a more calming turn. Can Flo interact with the laptop and download everything on it so she could have a back up or the info on demand for Nav incase something happens to it? Nav seems too trusting now with his knowledge, at least be cautious enough to not show the computer to the griffin.
Great chapter as always.
Spike is starting to become a badass.
GOod chapter as always! Still amazed at how long some of these are with each update! =) And with this massive plot line sitll lined up? This is going to possibly be the longest story on this site! Probably is already! XD
Huzzah. This was easily a much more satisfying chapter than some of the priors, and your bog analogy shows in you writing. Very much eager for the last arcs to get underway, friend.
This "incoming Storm" is Crystal Empire?
This turn of events is really good. Navi needs to slow down with all the running around he has been doing.
Also Discord is slipping. Not surprising, a creature made of chaos shouldn't be able to create long term plans without something messing up.
The pieces are falling into place... I'm curious as to how Nav will act when he finds out that he's Discord, or that he was created Discord. I'm still unsure of whether he really is Discord or not. I have to ask though, why didn't Nav grab some kind of super hi-tech printer that didn't use ink?
Good man whatmustido a new update so soon hope you keep it up.
And it is nice to see nav and taya spending some time togther (even if she is forcing him)
2435932
He assumed he couldn't carry it. He only had so much room, after all.
2435860
That is coming up, but the next few chapters will probably be Nav taking it easy. When you start talking about politics and the games of wards, you don't usually talk about the microgame, you talk macro.
2435795
It already is by a few hundred thousand words.
2435606
She mentioned being able to do it before. It's probably possible for her to actually do it.
2435093
What makes you think Discord isn't technically the antagonist?
2435939
I don't know, I've seen some pretty small printers in my short lifespan. Oh yeah, another question for you. Why does Discord have a problem with Taya? Are they rubbing elbows together? Taya already agreed to follow Discord rather than Nav. Which leads me to another question, would Taya attempt to stop Nav from learning about Discord? or will she regret her decision?
This can only lead to bad things...
Nav is just not catching any breaks anytime soon is he? If I could make a list of all the times he was injured I would have stopped around chapter 50. That guy is roughly a pain train magnet.
2436205
Well, for living almost five years in that world with his profession, I'd say he has a relatively decent record. Still, he does get his shit wrecked a lot.
2436011
No one said that Discord had a problem with Taya. However, in getting a cutie mark, she grows farther away from him and closer to order, since she now knows what her purpose in life is. And Taya didn't agree to follow Discord instead of Nav, she agreed to follow Discord because he's Nav. If he stopped being Nav or she found out for example that he wasn't... Well, what do you think she would do?
2435093 he does: Life
2435939 Can we be expecting regular updates, and at what intervals? Glad to see you back in business.
2436655
Updates come out as they come out. Given that they're almost always above ten thousand words, it honestly seems fair to me to not have a schedule. My writing pace changes as I have to deal with things in life, and I'd rather not make a schedule that I can't keep.
2436634
I admit, I messed up with the Rarity/Pinkie rape and if I could undo absolutely anything in the story, it would be that.
>I envy your skills and patience for writing. I dabble at writing, and some of it even get's popular, but this has a quality I cannot hope to emulate. Mostly because I lack the patience to gain the skills necessary to tell a story like this.
You can probably tell that the quality of this story has increased over time. This was and is my first big project and I got almost all of my experience in writing from this single story. I don't think it started getting all that good until around the first two hundred thousand words, and even then that was mostly because I started talking to other people that were writing. I don't know which among those two was more important, but I do know that practicing something without the training or teaching of someone means you can very honestly get worse at it.
>I believe that this story is not at all what you want us to believe it is.
I'm glad a few people have noticed.
If there is one thing I love doing is naming factions for each group. I'm thinking of some for Nav's group for when he leaves. It's tough I'll tell ya, the best one I came up with is the 'société solitaire'.
I would assume Discord can counter his own magic.
I don't know why, but now I feel like watching moonstuck on youtube... (Insert screwball image here)
You know at this point I think the only way to kill Navi is to blow off his head and even that might take a few days to set in. Like a cockroach.
2437287
It would be possible to bleed him out. The reason he survives so much is because he's usually around people that'll care for him when he gets hurt. It also helps that he has Discord watching out for him and making sure he survives things.
2437150
I have no idea why. I don't remember referencing it in this chapter.
2436805
What does that translate to? Solitary Society?
2435932 Notice how he completely dodged your other question.
So...
Unrelated quote to my next statement.
inb4 Kumani does something to make Nav distrust her... Or she dies... Or Nav does something to make HER distrust HIM...
Then insanely cute Fluttercuddle time. It's happening. NAV LET HER HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEART.
2437309
I know, I can be a little silly.
2437314
It isn't the first time, nor will it be the last...
But that's ok, because he's an awesome author, I suppose it's a perk that comes with the title. I suppose it's better than flat out ignoring part of my question.
2437520
In the post he quoted, you only asked one question. I answered that one question.
2437314
Nav x Flutterbutter is the most common ship request I've gotten. It's up there next to Nav x Smiles, Nav x Braeburn, and Nav x Taya. The internet's a weird place.
2437561 Hey the Smiles one is actually understandable, he already screwed Braeburn, and... Well, they aren't related... But it's still messed up.
But it doesn't surprise me that people want Nav to get a little Flutterlove. He deserves someone that can't (or won't) try to kill him, or have the possibility of doing so. They both have issues, they could fix each other.
The story should end with them admitting their love for each other, Nav picking up Flutters in his arms, kicking the shit out of Discord then flying into the sunset where it is presumed that they will infinitely bang.
EDIT: Or cuddle the shit out of each other. It would actually be interesting to see Nav get with someone who isn't horny as hell, someone gentle... Braeburn kind of counts, but at the same time not.
“I can go find a nurse!” I don’t know if she was eager to help or eager to get away so she didn’t have to see me like this.”
Unnecessary speech mark at the end of the sentence.
“I know that. I was there. But there lingers in the wound he made a kind of magic that I’ve seen before.
That doesn't seem to make sense. Maybe just reword it a little.
“Human joke. Don’t worry about it. What’s taking that damn nurse so long?” I mean, Blackberry was crazy as fuck, but at least she was always in a hurry.
“You want me to go look for him?”
Gender mistakes. She & Him.
“Nah. So who all knows what happened, anyway?”
This may be correct grammar, but I'm not sure. My guess is it may be a form of slang talk.
This will not help you get better. I would suggest getting mental help, but there don’t seem to be any ponies that specialize in it.
I think 'specialize' is spelt with an 's' instead of a 'z'. Probably different for americans.
Also, 'but there doesn't seem to be any ponies' - That seems to may a bit more sense.
If she continues, I might well be able to learn how to she invades in the first place.”
Don't need the second 'to'.
“My mental health, not my physical health. And it isn’t doing Taya any favors, either. She doesn’t like seeing me like this, and if I’m at home it’ll help her forget that I’m on death’s edge.”
I'm just nitpicking here but I don't think 'death's edge' is an actually saying. 'Death's door' seems more appropriate.
Taya floated me through the gates and into my yard, where the naga and Cadance were waiting for me. Cadance was wearing a bright grin and the naga actually looked rather remorseful. “Welcome back home!”
Welcome back home? That doesn't seem right. Welcome Back or Welcome Home seems better in my opinion.
Gilda flinched back as the laptop serenaded us with some old Dream Theater stuff.
This isn't a mistake. Dream Theater are just fucking incredible and I wanted you to know I share Nav's appreciation for them. Images and Words could end wars I tells ya.
When I saw her discomfort, I paused it. “Don’t like the sax? Damn Viking cat-birds…”
So I'm assuming this is Another Day?
“It sounds… better. I don’t know if I like your choice in music, Navarone,” she slowly said.
Fuck you, Gilda.
I unwrapped the parcel of clothing Rarity brought me and pulled out my new bedclothes. Surprisingly enough, she actually made them from black satin. “Awesome. I knew there was a reason I hadn’t murdered her yet.” I set the clothing bad down to see that Taya had also opened her package and was in the middle of putting on a very light pink nurse outfit. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
I set the clothing BACK down to see that...
I'm loving the direction this story is taking though. I'm genuinely on the edge of my seat in anticipation. I don't want to put too much pressure on you though, I'm a guy who's only managed to accomplish 29,000 words in a story before giving up so I hold such admiration for you surpassing 1 million words and still holding my attention. Don't ever feel like you're being pressured into writing. Take as much time as you need to make this story as good as you want it to be, seriously. We'll all benefit.
Love and Kisses;
Charlie.
2437821
>Unnecessary speech mark at the end of the sentence.
Fixed
>That doesn't seem to make sense. Maybe just reword it a little.
Well, when two people say you have a tail...
>Gender mistakes. She & Him.
Nav's nurse was a dude. He was just comparing the nurse to Blackberry.
>This may be correct grammar, but I'm not sure. My guess is it may be a form of slang talk.
Slang.
>I think 'specialize' is spelt with an 's' instead of a 'z'. Probably different for americans.
American.
>Also, 'but there doesn't seem to be any ponies' - That seems to may a bit more sense.
>Don't need the second 'to'.
Fixed
>I'm just nitpicking here but I don't think 'death's edge' is an actually saying. 'Death's door' seems more appropriate.
Sayings have to originate somewhere.
>Welcome back home? That doesn't seem right. Welcome Back or Welcome Home seems better in my opinion.
Changed.
>This isn't a mistake. Dream Theater are just fucking incredible and I wanted you to know I share Nav's appreciation for them. Images and Words could end wars I tells ya.
Damn right, son.
>So I'm assuming this is Another Day?
Yep.
>Fuck you, Gilda.
If only.
>I set the clothing BACK down to see that...
Fixed.
Thanks for the finds. I prefer to keep mistake fixes to PMs, but I suppose if you're attaching it to a comment it doesn't really matter. And the next chapter might take a wee bit longer just because I have an assignment I need to be doing and finals are coming up. Damn programming.
I have a feeling that Discord dun goof'd by randomly picking Nav, of all humans...
2437561
You answered my question with another question, :D but I suppose you did answer it.
2437821
"Take as much time as you need to make this story as good as you want it to be, seriously. We'll all benefit."
By that, he means, "Hurry the fuck up or we will rip you to pieces, leave your brain intact, and then hook it up to a bunch of computers n' shit. Then we will set that up so that it uses your brain to rapidly spew out more of the glorious, golden fecal matter that none of us seem to be able to stop reading, even after 1,000,000 words."
2437936 My pleasure.
2438126 Ummm... Yeah! What you said! I guess...
Oh yeah, Nav's back on track! Just curious: how will industrializing the world affect Nav's journey to boldly go where no man (or pony or zebra or cat or... Imma shut up now) has gone before? Will his ship be extra special and awesome; will he be faced with greater challenges from post-industrialized societies he stumbles across; how will New Gilda react to him leaving; and how badly will Luna flip out? 'Rage Mode Activated' I hope.
2438242
It won't affect his journey at all. Even with the knowledge of how technology works, it still has to be built. The industrial and technological revolution didn't happen over night. With the world's available infrastructure and materials available, it would probably take twenty years to get a good factory running. Nav is leaving is about nine months. The only society even close to "industrialized" that he'll run into will be the one in China. The South American spider clans still have feudalism and tribalism going on. Tartarus is a free-for-all. Antarctica is thriving, but they don't really have much technology. Africa is about the level of the real world as it stands today, with various nations and races vying for power.
New Gilda already knows he's leaving. She's hoping to have all of what she needs and be gone by the time he does.
Luna will not be amused in the slightest.
2438297
I see, I see. Will the races on each continent be the same or similar to their Earthen counterparts, or have we already met all of the species? Please tell me we get to meet baboons and spider monkeys in Asia! My god, the fun you could have with that... so many hijinks! So many poo-throwing jokes!