Joined August 2012

God, I'm so sorry.

Stories (6)

  • Kung Pow Anon: Enter the Fisting
    Anon comes from a universe that operates by kung fu movie physics and he's still able to function as such. Even Pinkie calls bull on him.

    4,959 words · 2,624 views · 283 likes · 15 dislikes
  • Taxidermist in Equestria
    Gilda plots a unique revenge using her human taxidermist friend
    2,452 words · 2,439 views · 201 likes · 10 dislikes
  • If a tree falls in the forest...
    What will Twilight do when confronted with one of life's toughest questions?
    1,296 words · 3,340 views · 248 likes · 14 dislikes
  • Kids are stupid
    Sometimes, sharing human culture isn't always the smart thing to do.
    2,756 words · 1,427 views · 102 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Rarity on Earth
    24,548 words · 2,455 views · 154 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Death by Chocolate
    1,593 words · 1,651 views · 139 likes · 8 dislikes

Blog Posts (2)

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Comments ( 62 )

#1 · 92w, 16h ago · 1 · 3 ·

Heh... funny stuff. I'm guessing this is non-canon?

#2 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·

... This was good, but... Knowing what he is like further along in the story, I have trouble connecting him and Christmas cheer in my mind. Anyway, can't wait for even more stuff, and thanks for contributing to my not sleeping once again.:pinkiehappy:

#3 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·


I see no reason for it to not be canon. It's just way out of place, time-wise. I mean, this is right before he went to Egypt, so it shouldn't fuck with too much. Most of the ponies wouldn't even know it was him that delivered the gifts.


Glad to help.

#4 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·


Didn't pinkie have a helicopter or something of the sort? Also, I read that 'two hour' conversation between you and that one individual. Did I see something about Gauss rifle? (Metro 2033)

P.S. Thanks for the chapter.

#5 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·


Pinkie has a foot operated helicopter in the show. Gilda trashed it, but Pinkie could rebuild it. And no, not a gauss rifle, a pneumatic rifle.

#6 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·


Oh... Wait, what was the name of the electric charge powered firearm. It used the same ammunition as the air rifle. Eh, no matter, I'll figure it out myself.


Volt Driver was the name.

#7 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·

So was this all before he was turned into a pony for the first time?

#8 · 92w, 16h ago · · ·


>Sitting on a cloud

>Flying out of a window

>Letting his wings sag

>After chapter fourteen

>Oh God, I'm from 4chan

#9 · 92w, 15h ago · · ·

Right, of course it was. Silly me.

Of course you're from 4chan. Didn't you start this story in AIE thread?

#10 · 92w, 15h ago · · ·


Nope, it was just them that convinced me to post it here. I started this before /mlp/ existed.

#11 · 92w, 15h ago · · ·


Really, where did your story first appear?

#12 · 92w, 15h ago · · ·

Nice timing on the side chapter of the story. A funny and rather warming story. Did Twi and the others ever realize that the whole thing was more along the lines of myth and only slightly of culture? Or did they just not care and did it for fun anyway?    

#13 · 92w, 15h ago · · ·

best christmas presant ever.:ajsmug:

#14 · 92w, 15h ago · 2 · ·


Mediafire and my pastebin. This is actually the first place it was posted. I was convinced it would never get read as I was writing it, because I didn't know anybody who would read it and I didn't know where to post it. I was also terrified to post it here or on fanfic until someone convinced me to do it.


Nav eventually tried to explain it, but you know how the ponies are. They thought it was a cute, fun idea and they went with it.


Tell my family that. It would be a lot cheaper if they agreed.

#15 · 92w, 15h ago · · ·

Heh, played Night Before Christmas (with narration) for a concert.

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

#16 · 92w, 14h ago · · ·

Nice, you get a nice random video I was watching before I read this.

#17 · 92w, 14h ago · · ·

And then everything went to shit for Nav.:rainbowlaugh:

#18 · 92w, 9h ago · · ·

Well, now this kinda adds a bit more drama if you actually read 14, then this, and 15 again. Makes it seem really fucked up how big the whole Egypt thing effected his life.

#19 · 92w, 6h ago · 2 · ·

Heh, I had to laugh when he went on about a jolly fat fucker. :rainbowlaugh:

Btw, when it came to how Equestria was founded, and Nav finding an old book with the true story about the founding of it, wouldn't that mean that Twilight would know about this? If we take into consideration her studious nature? And the fact that she researches everything?

Or did Twilight read it, and, true to her complete loyalty towards Celestia, ignore it, or just think that it was false?

#20 · 92w, 3h ago · · ·


She's only spent so long in the library, reading only so many books. I imagine her curiosity is more in the magic books than the history books, especially a history book about the founding of Equestria, a story everyone knows. She takes what Celestia told her for granted.

#21 · 91w, 6d ago · · ·

Pinkie, I’m obviously too think to drunk

Drunk to think? Or is Nav really drunk like when he said "something something" to Shining around chapter 50 or so at the magical mascarade thing.

#22 · 89w, 22h ago · · ·

It had to be a bit of a challange to write the mindset that Nav had back here, after every way that he'd changed since. I mean, decently normal fellow, having your average Ponyville adventure, with a bit of merc work on the side, compared to... that broken shell of a man he turns into. Granted, I'm only on chapter 45, so for all I know he might have magically gotten back to a more or less normal mindset by the time you wrote this.

#23 · 89w, 22h ago · · ·


Yeah, it was weird. Fun, though.

#24 · 88w, 2d ago · · ·

Well, that was my favorite chapter so far... I'm glad Nav is finally starting to develop a deeper bond with the ponies. I hope nothing crazy and twisted happens and does something to weaken or in some way diminish the magic of friendship in dear Nav's heart... D'awww:twilightblush:

#25 · 77w, 6d ago · 4 · 1 ·

*sniffle* that was a nice ending, not much touches me but that did.

I couldn't stop laughing, every time he said 'fat fucker' I burst out XD

Sorry to ruin your fun though as I think I found another error

Yes I realize it looks like I'm being a god damn grammar nazi but I'm just trying to help. And he asks for it so please don't hate

“Pinkie, I’m obviously too think to drunk.
did you mean 'too drunk to think' or is that there to emphasize how intoxicated he is

#26 · 77w, 5d ago · 6 · ·

Oh yes Nav, you're our friend...who we have no problem kidnapping, raping, tossing through windows, experimenting on, abusing, and otherwise making your life miserable, intentionally or unintentionally...

Merry freakin Christmas to you Nav...

#27 · 77w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

Hallmark movies?!?! Sir, I hope you have life insurance, because I'm suing for one busted lung and three cracked ribs. Funniest thing in years! So true, too. /)

#28 · 75w, 6d ago · 10 · ·


Equestrian 'friendship' terrifies me in every way.

#29 · 71w, 5d ago · 3 · ·

Wow they went full on with the Santa thing including cookies and milk  they are just missing the

fat fucker,
LOL :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

#30 · 70w, 3d ago · 8 · ·

Yes, four of you are his friends, friends who manipulate, abuse and use him.  Two of you are criminals that shouldn't be around anymore.

#31 · 66w, 2d ago · · 1 ·

>>2371664 that was on purpose :)

#32 · 65w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

>>2632694 too true

#33 · 60w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

I honestly expected him to be more of a grinch than Santa and go around ruing hearth's warming day.

#34 · 59w, 53m ago · 4 · ·

I like this santa.

Ho ho ho fuckers! Now get me a beer. :trollestia:

#35 · 58w, 6d ago · · ·

I just had to dawwwwww at the end of this chap:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

#36 · 58w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

In my head the flying machine shall be a vertibird.

And: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

#37 · 58w, 3d ago · 3 · 2 ·

That last part made me relay sad, but not in the good way.

Equestrians version of 'friendship' and 'family' remind me more of Stockholm syndrome and the battered wife mentality.

#38 · 56w, 1d ago · 7 · ·

Oh god this just makes me hate the mane 6

Fuck you manipulative ponies

Fuck you all to Tartarus

#39 · 56w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

I love this:

Pinkie, I’m obviously too think to drunk

Was that a typo?

#40 · 56w, 1d ago · · ·


Nope, that was on purpose.

#42 · 54w, 14h ago · 1 · ·

awwww :yay::rainbowkiss::pinkiehappy::raritystarry::twilightsmile::applejackunsure::moustache:

#43 · 52w, 6d ago · · ·

When he opened his present, I found myself listening to a piano cover of "Somewhere in my Memory" from the movie "Home Alone", which is a very good chrismas movie.

Listen to this song and start reading right where he opens his present, its very fitting I think!

#44 · 52w, 5d ago · · ·

>>2632694 What's he supposed to do? Even if he told Celestia (I may be re-reading this for the fourth time but this was my opinion before that.) what can she do? They're the fucking ELEMENTS OF HARMONY and close friends to Celestia's personal number one pupil, so for all the good reporting it would've done, I think he just saved himself some time.

#45 · 50w, 4d ago · 6 · ·

“Nav’s gonna become huge and fat and jolly and red and give presents to all the little colts and fillies while on a magical sleigh pulled by reindeer!”

That line broke me. I burst out laughing so hard at that point.

#46 · 47w, 2d ago · 5 · ·

>>3149683 And we wouldn't have it any other way!

#47 · 45w, 4d ago · · ·

I was very to surprised there wasn't a "it's a wonderful life" reference in this chapter.

#48 · 40w, 2d ago · · ·

“Pinkie, I’m obviously too think to drunk. That’s how I got into this position, after all. Again, if you’ll let me explain—”

I’m obviously too think to drunk.

too think to drunk.

Mother of god, that is the best mistake ever, of all time.

#49 · 40w, 2d ago · 18 · ·


That's not a mistake.

#50 · 35w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

I don't like the holiday as an adult as I see it for what it has become and it sickens me that said I loved this chapter:pinkiehappy:

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