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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I had a feeling today that this would update very soon. I have a magical sensor for this shit, man.
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I'm not a fan of the story anymore, myself - 83 chapters to support that claim. Seems to much of a self-insert to me now that I've smartened up a bit since first reading it. In reality, the story never needed to be this long at all. It just seems to be one big circle-jerk, like Man of War. What do you think about it..?
Oh and, I believe he rewrote it way back in the day. Did that fix the story at all?
Such a beautiful story! IF only I could write as great as you man.
Wearing a dress isn't that bad.
Sounds like somebody's wing's gonna turn demonic and bat-like. Where have we seen that before...?
Great story. I always read every update as soon as i see them, unlike some other stories where i can put them off almost indefinitely. Keep up the amazing work!
7415313 Man of War is still going? I got super confused after the protagonist got turned into an alicorn and all these groups using human technology showed up. That story got so confusing.
"Angst", The Paragraph.
I love Nav's new attitude...it's been a long time coming and
heshe still has a long way to go, buthe'sshe's been through so much shit that it's nice to see some good stuff happening tohimher....although I hesitate for things to go too well, as that just means that things were about to go horribly, horribly wrong.
7415313 It did help the story immensely, I believe putting the whole Discord narrative into context from the beginning. However, it's still very obvious that it's always been a self-insert story, though there aren't any plot holes regarding it.
I don't usually point out errors anymore, but this one was hilarious. I don't think I've ever seen an 'I' replaced with a '1'. Did you put that in there just to see if anyone would notice?
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I'm definitely gonna go with that reason.
When I opened this, the live viewer counter said 68. It now says
575860596059IT KEEPS CHANGINGDamn, that rant to Blossom was fucking GOOD. Loving Nav's slow climb back to not being suicidal.
Hot damn that was relieving. The changes that tho character goes through is amazing. I wonder if there are any reviews of this.
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Reread it myself after the rewrite, I feel that a lot of the stupider stuff got replaced + some potentially OOC stuff so it's better. As for self-inserts and the length, it's a fan fiction. We're on a site populated with amateurs. You don't have to like the story but you should only direct your own.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/reviews.php?target_group=FanFic&target_title=DiariesOfAMadman
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I think it DOES need to be this long personally, since the main protagonist is trying to legit kill a GOD. Which people need to be reminded isn't some random duty he picked up in his adventures recently, but is the straight up main plot.
Rome wasn't built in a day, and gods don't fall every day either.
As for the self-insert, I think every HiE story is gonna have some aspect of that as long as its not a crossover, but I think it's perfectly fine IF, and only IF the main character isn't some fat as fuck nobody neck beard, AND allows them to change in time that isn't just, "I've dealt with this one thing now so i'm a different person."
Navarone has gone through a LOT of shit in his something something years of bein on.... Earth, I guess. Even after being tortured, people only noticed that he flinched every now and then, where in the average self insert story, you KNOW the writer would full out rarity on their story and sperg "I was so scared" all over the damn place as a means of stroking their own need for attention.
Navarone got tortured, but his hate for showing weakness stuck despite this. Raped, and he didn't talk about it unless he had to because not only nobody would believe him, but also because he hated thinking about it.
He's actually a character because his beliefs and opinions don't change over a few instances, they get tested repeatedly.
Go ahead and tell me a self-insert wouldn't change at the first chance to do so. They say, "it was so hard to do X, but I did X because i'm better than I was at X time."
How many times have you read THAT in a self insert? Answer I believe is probably a fucking LOT.
But Navarone's changing is like this, "I wouldn't do this normally, and I STILL don't want to do it, but because of X, and X told me to, and because X needs it, but also because I need to weaken X, I will do this despite hating it for the good of X and X and even myself."
He's a character, surrounded by other characters, who can, but have a hard time doing so, influence his.
That's my argument here.
So...does anyone else have that feeling that the casted wing is gonna come out all demonic-looking, or bat-like? I mean, considering Nav is a puppet of Discord, I've had the lingering feeling in my mind that he's essentially going to become Discord at some point. I mean, he's already got a pretty long life at the moment. Wings, which, may become mismatched in upcoming chapters. Hell, he's already got a book on how to do "true" magic which he may utilize later. I dunno. Just my scattered thought process coming to life.
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It'd be neat if he slowly became like Discord, but also i'd be just the tiniest bit disappointed if that was Discord's intention. I'd prefer the plot to be as though Discord was trying to make him like the chosen one from the Naga's history, but in doing so the challenges that Nav ends up facing turns him more into Discord himself than the chosen one.
It would make the final confrontation more.... Odd, but also fitting.
It would also make a possible ending for the story more somber, dark, and also fitting.
Honestly, the only thing I could complain about at this point is him still being female, of which i'll be as happy with as he is, which is why i'm OK with it, because he hates it as much as I know I would. His character didn't change much... Which I ranted is one of the reasons I really like the story. At this point, however, i'd be surprised if the unicorn tower wouldn't change their minds about helping him switch his genders after he saved their asses at the risk of himself.
Crossing my fingers.
(Edit)
I don't have a problem with female protagonists, but changing someone's gender against their will just seems so immensely fucked up to me that I can't even comprehend how few people have complained about it with him.
It's similar to how Nav hates people switching species, it just feels like a betrayal to what you believe you are.
It would be a lie to say I was OK with it if Nav was, because I know his character. He's loyal to who he is, and he thinks himself a man. Another reason i'm OK with it, is because it fleshes out his character even more to have an opinion on these things that's relatable (which the correction thing is telling me is not a word.)
I dare say it improved the story a bit despite my dislike for it. Stories RARELY succeed at that, for anyone, I'd think.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Nice to see Nav have a bit of an epiphany.
I can't help but feel... enlightened in a sense, whenever I read over chapters such as this that focus largely on philosophy and conversation. Not many stories on this site give me much cause to simply sit and think after reading.
I'm happy to see that Nav has people he can actually call friends after all the betrayal he's experienced in the earlier half of the story, and it's refreshing to see just how much everyone's changed. It's also a welcome sight to see that Celestia, despite her attempts to foster an image of an infallible, pristine princess, has suffered her own fair share of battle scars from the fight with the demons. Now, her ponies haven't much of a choice but to see such isn't truly the case simply upon viewing her injuries.
That being said, I'm glad to see another update, and one that was so quick. It gives me, and plenty of others presumably, something to look forward to. Till the next.
7415729
A shame there was only one review.
This is by FAR, my favourite fix on this site, that includes fallout equestria and past sins.
Thank you so much for making this and keeping it up c:
Excellent as always.
It's like Nav says "there's no way I'm wearing a dress, absolutely not, no dress!" And then Fleur's like "yeah, you're wearing that dress, you're gonna wear that dress!" And then they wipe BULOLULOLULOLU, and then Nav's wearing a dress.
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I find it interesting that people take this story being a self-insert for granted. Has no one realized just how much Nav has changed over the course of this story? His/her personalith, actions, opinions, and feelings shift drastically every dozen chapters. It happens so naturally and smoothly that it doesn't feel that way, but looking at Nav now compared to when she was male and living in Ponyville, or before he adopted his daughter, or before his first sexual encounter with ponies...
How can you honestly call this a self-insert with such a dynamic protagonist?
7415368 I'm more expecting he's gonna have to live with one wing, kinda like sephiroth
7415729 with a story so big I expected more reviews. Oh well. Wish the one that didn't like it was a little more fair. Either it's a story about humanity or a non self aware crackfic. Bleh
I think you're missing an "I'm tired" in there :)
That aside, great chapter! I've always loved how real the world of this fic is. Every single small character comes back and does something again later. Everything is cumulative to the point where it feels like you've built an actual world, piece by piece. Can't wait for the next update :)
7415886
A thought has occured to me:
Discord is Discord (a physical manifestation of his namesake)
Discord cannot die as long as that which powers him exists (as long as his namesake exists, a manifestation (I.E. Him) will also exist. Proof: his most succesful suicide attempt was to remove all discord from the world by eliminating sapient life, which left him powerless for an extended period.)
Therefore as long as there is discord, there must be A Discord.
As such, if Nav becomes the 'new' Discord (as in takes the place of being a Manifestation of discord) then the 'old' discord can die and stay dead, as there would still be a Discord, both in existance and as a manifestation.
Could be the only way for Nav to circumvent Discords otherwise Imortality.
Just a theory.
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He meant on the edge of moving, fighting, hurting, running, and anger. But the "I'm tired" would also work.
7416647 in that case I think structuring it like "I've lived to much of my life on the edge. The edge of moving, of fighting, of hurting..." Might make that a little bit clearer.
Holy shit, that rant was perfectly written. I almost choked up.
I'm glad that Celestia's fraudulence is being revealed to other characters. It felt like it was just Nav dealing with the schemes of a 6000 year old jaded demigod. At least now, there's others that can maybe see past the smoke and mirrors. Kinda makes Luna look less evil. She was fucked up, but Celestia is the world's most powerful sociopath (politically, physically, and magically).
sigh Every goddamn time. I want to believe in batpone love. But you tease us so much, and I'm afraid to get my hopes up. They're both immortal (kinda), so it could work. Otherwise, Twilight ftw
7416646
that was the possible ending I implied, yes.
7416695
Dont forget celestia is emotionally and mentally socipathic.
Honestly luna is definatly less insane, she just has phycotic sexual urges.
7415313
There had been a rewrite on a few chapter of man of war.
Honestly the story took a downward drop when equestria was blamed for griffon nationals poisoning the cloud supply that killed the griffon crops. But i feel theres some symbolism reguarding politics from real life in that story. Terrorists hidding in allied nations and are protected by them. Then even when your saving their lives by sending mass quantities of food over, your still bad mouthing those who are providing you aid.
Honestly i rarley read the man of war story even wjen theres an uodatez mostly because you got ne guy saying here is my big stick ill hit you with it, then the orher guy says well now i got a bigger stick, so beat that. I.E. im talkimg about the arcaic nukes. I feel the author got into a flame war with himself.
I habent seen any character groth with any of his OC's or even cannon characters, you only see minor changes, and even then its just apperance, not deep character development.
To tell everyone the truth the only stories i wait for updates on are extended holoday by american brony
And diares of a madman by whatmustido.
As well as stories by wolf blood. I.E. ash blade stories.
I read other stories, but these guys are the top 3 now.
I think he forgot a couple of dragons like Spike or some female dragon that was with him but rejected her when turned female.
There is also Discord, that he like to play with Navarone
And I don't remember too much about the leader of dragons except that Navarone meet him in the war games a couple of times.
Oh, and the demons he just meet. Some seem to like him.
And there is also the water elementals, one live in her head and others want to fuck her.
The wind Elemental just ignore Nava unless is for play.
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I can see where you're coming from, but I think it's less about being circle-jerk-y self-insert fic and more just about the author enjoying the character interactions in the specific version of the world they created. I usually fall in love with my own stories' worlds and characters, so I love to just write and write about random crap they do. A lot of it doesn't end up making it to any final editions of anything, but it's fun to write nonetheless. Since this isn't being monetized or anything, though, there's no real harm in the author just letting everything they write into the story.
I personally enjoy seeing all the little interactions as well, so I actually like that the story takes a bit slower/more casual of an approach to the storytelling. There are many important moments of action or exposition and so on, but there's also a lot of filler, and I think that's okay.
7415729
I remember the nights when I used to cling to my ancient original android phone when all my privileges were taken away, sapping away a minuet amount of WIFI to access this story. The phone was slow, the scrolling sucked, the screen didn't fit the words correctly, and it was overall shit.
But the story in an of itself kept' me going. That's how good this story is. That's how good _your_ story is. I've read the story for its entirety many times now, and it continues to make me laugh, as well as give me those shit-eating grins when Nav' is a complete prick, badass, ect. You've made a character that can be related to so well, and yet they seem so foreign. A lone wanderer passing through the desert of life, taking what comes his way as it does. This is a masterpiece. Keep up the amazing work man. I look forward to any future endeavors of yours.
Happy to see the character development of late (everyone's) and the ripples of all the little actions starting to build up. And the growing cracks in the façade of perfection that Celestia's Equestria wears. New chapter came just in time, too; I just finished catching up to the most recent chapter of my most recent read a few hours prior.
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Heya, Darcy. If you're asking that regarding this story, then yeah. There was a fairly extensive rewrite a while back. Been meaning to read through those. Started at one point but got sidetracked. Don't really see the self-insert qualities.
We didnt get to see what Flo drew about Fleur before Nav gave her the drawings to take with her?
The harder you stomp on your people for complaing about being stomped on, the move viciously they will bite at your ankles?
I think of Navs bat pony as that scene from The Last Starfighter.
Death Blossom.
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Whew, did I get a lot of backlash for that. I think the rewrite fixed things, then.
Looking back at the story before the rewrite it seemed like a cycle of 'Nav gets banged by x, Nav gets torture by x, Nav gets...' y'know? It's nice to hear that the story isn't as bad as I thought it was, anymore. Doesn't change my opinion on the length, though. I really don't think it's worth reading nearly two million words (of god knows how many are clop and torture scenes, unless he changed that) just to see for myself, though.
Also, was that gender-swapping stone ever used for anything else, or just clop? I'm still getting bad warning bells in my head every time I think about it.
Blossom, the Tsundere-Bat. Tsundere-Bats are on the move, Tsundere-Bats are loose. Feel the magic, hear the roar, Tsundere-Bats are loose.
This part of Naverone's rant seems to be a little... autobiographical. Do you need a hug? (\ (^_^) /)
This should be two words. Or at least hyphenated.
Hoof.
I am not saying you should change it, I am just saying that it kind of bugs me that you wrote "doc" instead of "doctor".
I am okay with it here because it is within the quotation marks.
This needs an "an" before it. Without the "an", this is the adjective which means not legally recognized and therefore void because contravening a regulation or law. Or the verb meaning to remove someone from active service in the armed forces because of injury or illness.
Well, that was interesting. the poor guy's secret is out. Now everyone knows he is stuck in the body of a female. Oh, and his butt plug thing, whatever. I wonder what is Fleur's idea for his dress? I bet it is going to be a slinky, black deal that hugs his curves in the most perfect way... Uh... Anyway... I bet if he loses his wing he may look a little like a white winged Sephiroth.
~KBO.
Navarone being positive for an entire chapter? What the hell? Whatmustido, were you high while writing this? Also, is this some sort of omen of good karma for Nav, or are we about to watch this feels train crash into a mountain?
Tune in next time to find out, on... TOTAL. DRAMA. PONY WORLD!
You know, in a way I actually prefer and enjoy these dialogue driven chapters more than the ones that are full of action. There is just something about it that I like. For this chapter, it would be the character development of several characters: Nav, Blossom, Shiny, and even Celestia. Chapters like these are the reason I have enjoyed this story over and over. Right now, I'm half way through my 6th read and I fully plan on doing a 7th and more.
7417904 On the subject of the hoof stomping, Nav is starting to see the ponies as people instead of magical talking horses. It's a sign of character development. (whatmustido said this to a comment on a chapter a while back, don't remember which one it is.)
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I agree, which is why I'll most likely go back to this story later. That was just my opinion at the time, because I had been reading nothing but that all day. Had to get my mind off of it for a bit, y'know? But, yeah, I'll continue reading it once I've read all of the other stories I currently have on my list.