I'm doing this story because I'm SO original. release your hatred upon me
[2nd person]
You get into this fancy new college (surprise surprise) and a friend of the family is the headmaster, but that doesn't get you any special treatment. You're roommates with Lyra (It's not rainbow dash WHAT THE FILLY IS GOING ON HERE) shes the headmasters daughter and was one of your childhood best friends. You meet some new and interesting people .
You're not very good at reading girls
Proofread by Connorrness
I don't own any of the music that is used in this story
Chapters (8)
I think its going good
Like it so far I'm watching this
I will watch this and see where this goes so far it seems interesting
Not as cliche as the author thinks, I like it.
This is the first humanized ponies going to high school/college in second person where the main character's roommate isn't Rainbow Dash. After the third time it got quite annoying. I think it's going along pretty nicely.
Is this a remake of Red Thrush private school? Or am I being a retard again?
interesting
they going to take a trip to this alternate universe?
2167277
You thought that to? Well, as long as its good, who cares.
Ok, there are certainly plenty of errors in spelling and grammar. But there are a couple of instances that make me think of auto-correct screwing up the writing. Are you making this on a tablet?
2170517
No. I have a proofreader for this, blame him not me
Just one thing. Capitalize Ponyville. It is the name of a place.
2170456 I will agree with you sir
Great Stoy pal, keep going, finally someone that didn't pair YOU with RD
Blunt and right to the point, eh?
Continue.
You might want to look over this chapter you can see the entire url besides Rainbows.
"sigh" You, good sir, are a pain. Thankfully, I am not (usually).
Advice time!
-Learn to use the period. Seriously, I found TWO periods in this thing--that is NOT acceptable.
-Describe things and people. I don't want to see a picture, I want to see your words.
-Don't misuse words.
-Get an editor, or a prereader. Ideally both.
-Look up online (or pay attention in english class) how to use grammar.
This story only blows chunks because of really basic stuff. Fix it up, and you got this.
2243165
Thanks for the advice.
on the fourth point you made, you obviously didn't read the description. I have an editor for this.
SO basically it's his fault not mine
2243744 Oh well, I messed up! Look at all the bucks I give:____________________________: :D (I still have school taking up time so.....)
2244012
Meh I don't care much for this story anyway
2244033 That is no good attitude mister!
I have some advice of my own. This chapter looks like a looooooong arse song. Not in words but in design. there are no paragraphs! NONE! I'm not trying to sound stupid about it but, stories need to appeal to the eye, paragraphs adhere to that need. Good chapter over all, a little rushed maybe, coulda been designed better but over all... 7 of 10 moustaches
2171618 Hello.Multiverse Me
I'm Curious About This
Hmmmm...........I Wonder Why Lyra Is Getting Angry So Easily.....~Sigh~.........The World May Never Know The Mystery Of Lyra Heartstrings........GREAT CHAPTER
Looks Like I Have To Find A Good Time-Wasting Medium So I Could Easily Wait For The Next Chapter.........*Snaps Finger* CRIKEN
Pretty Good Chapterb
I like it! Another!
Thank you for putting this up. Can't wait for the next!
"There are we going?" you ask
....This is so damn deep, that I Kant believe it.
"How much trouble did you get into?" you ask Lyra while she hands you back your timetable
"A lot" you say folding up your time table then putting it back in your pocket
Sorry what?
Very good, keep up the good work
ZE PLOT THICKENS
that was confusing
Kingliness BARTHOLOMEW!!
Not too shabby this storys definatly washing away the bad taste red thrush left in my mouth about collage fics.keep up the good work
dude please don't stop writing this, it is awesome, perfect
ARE YOU DISRESPECTIN THE HOUSE OF COOPAH!
I've just finished reading through the prologue and all six chapters, and I'm sorry if what I am about to say will come off as insulting to you, but the grammar in your story is quite far from immaculate.
Many times you have used commas in the place of semicolons, dropped plurals, neglected periods (this particular fault has decreased, but it's still there), overlooked colons, misplaced capitals (e.g. in the prologue, you typed " your Dad" and then spurned then disregarded the capital in "Ponyville") and used the wrong homophone, like "peak" instead of "peek," "of" in the place "off" should be. Also, when writing the common phrase, it is "could have," instead of saying "could of" 
The word "You" is used way too much at the beginning of every sentence, several of the paragraphs are too choppy; using short sentences of dialogue are okay, stuff like
Could easily be compiled into one larger paragraph.
I'm just trying to give a bit of criticism, but if any of this offends you, I deeply apologize.
D'awwww
>"All men need a hoodie, you're gonna get really cold" says BonBon
I AM A MAN!
And I wear a blazer. Forget hoodies.
Great story though you need to work on punctuations.
NEW.CHAPTER.NOW.
Awww, it died
Update.
That's not how I fall asleep! I flop on my bed, and fall asleep instantaneously! Obviously this is some sort of twisted-reality me. *shudder*
Why was this cancelled?
8830877
Cause I realized it was going nowhere. Plus I got to the point of writing to this story where I hated it. But maybe I'll revive if I ever want to improve of this