Chapter 6
You open your eyes to see nothing but a desert. Nothing up sand is around you. The sun is burning your skin and your sweat slowly runs down your face.
"Hello!" you shout "Is anyone around!"
"HELLO!!!"
You start to walk across the desert trying to find something or someone that can help you. You walk for what seems like hours with the sun roosting you alive. You fall down to your knees and try and get your breath back, of the in distance you can see a silhouette of a person.
"HEY! HELP!" you shout. but the person just stands there "HELP!" you shout again
The person starts to walk away
"WAIT!" you say getting up to your feet and running towards them
You catch up to the person and stop them from walking
"You need to help me" you say again trying to get your breath back
The person turns around and its a face that you're very familiar with
"Lyra?"
Her eyes were red and black, she was crying blood and had no emotion
"Lyra, are you alright?"
From out of nowhere she screams
"OH GOD!" You say shooting up from your bed and breathing heavily.
You look around the room to see the light shining through the curtains. You look over at your clock the see that you still have a couple more hours till college starts. You wipe the sweat from your head and out out a sigh and lay back down on your bed and close your eyes
"Wakey,Wakey" A female voice calls out
"Not now" you say swiping the air
"Come on, you're gonna be late"
"Lyra, not now"
"Lyra?" the voice questions
"That's your name" you say with your face in your pillow
"It's Vinyl"
You get your face out of your pillow and face the voice. The person standing next to your bed was in fact Vinyl Scratch. She was a wearing a white top that cut away at her belly button, she also was wearing a black leather jacket and some blue jeans. She still had her trademark purple sunglasses.
"What are you doing here?" you ask sitting up on the bed
"I'm here to get you up, college starts soon" she say
You look around the room and she Lyra's not in her bed. She's not in the dorm either. You didn't bovver getting changed because you feel asleep in your clothes
"Where's Lyra? she's the one who usually get's me up" you say pulling the covers off you and getting out the bed
"She went to go see Mr Heartstrings, she asked me to get you up" she explains
"Oh, was there any reason why she had to go see her dad?" you ask walking over to your desk and grabbing your phone and wallet
"No, she asked me to get you up before college starts" she says leaning up against the wall
You grab your bag and walk out of the dorm with Vinyl.
"So you got music first right?" Vinyl asks
"Yeah"
"Awesome, I'm taking that too" she say with a smile
"That's two people I know who take music" you say putting your hands in your pockets
You and Vinyl make it to the music room and open the door. You see different instruments all over the place and people of all shapes and size. You look around the room looking for a place to sit. Vinyl went off the sit next a with black hair and a gray blazer and skirt, she also has a cello next to her.
You take another look around the room and who do you see? that pink hair girl again. As always she looks at you with a big smile smile.
You find a seat away from the group. You sit down in the chair and pull out your phone. You see that you have one unread message from Lyra. You check the message
Lyra: Sorry that I wasn't there to wake you up. My dad needed to talk with me, I may be failing in one of my classes, hehe. Hope Vinyl didn't rudely wake you. See you in music class xxx
What's with the three X's at the end? I guess she's just one of those girls
You slip your phone beak into your pocket. You see that the pinked hair girl is sitting next you. It's like she just appeared out of nowhere. It makes you jump a bit.
"Hi new friend!!" she greets you with her big smile
"....Hi" you greet her back "I didn't know that you were taking music"
"I LOVE music, I play all types of instruments, Like the drums, the banjo, the bagpipe, the harmonica, the trombone-"
You cover her mouth because you didn't want to hear anymore of her talking. She had a cute sounding voice but she talks WAY too much.
"That's a lot of instruments" you say uncovering her mouth "So what's this class like?"
"It really fun!" she says
"Okay, is there any written work?"
Please say no
"Nope, it's all practical" she say with her big smile
"Alright good" you say with relief
The door opens and Lyra walks in with her lyre. She stops and looks around the room, it's like she is looking for you. Her eyes set sight on you and she smiles and walks towards you and Pinkie.
"Hi Lyra!" Pinkie say greeting her
"Hey Pinkie" Lyra say greeting her back
"Wait, where we supposed to bring our own instruments?" you asks
"No, but the music storage doesn't have any lyre's, so I just bring my own" says Lyra
"Ah, Okay"
The door to the class room reopens and a man with curly blond hair wearing a brown suit and a white turtleneck walks in with his hands behind his back. His eyes scan the whole class. His eyes stop as soon as they reach you. He walks over to you and just stares at you.
"And whom might you be?" he say in a very thick English accent
"Oh, I'm the newest student, My name is-"
He walk way before you get a chance to say your name. He stands behind his dash still with his hand behind him. His eyes come to contact with you again
"What instrument do you play my boy?" he asks
"T-The guitar"
"Hmm, how original" he says
You look at him with an 'are you serious' face, which cause Lyra to laugh
"Now everyone, I would like you to pair up in a team of four, You're going to create a music piece"
As soon as the teach finish talking Lyra grabs your arm, you blush a little. Pinkie also grabs your other arm and you start to blush harder. You also notice that Lyra is giving Pinkie and death stare
"Well...Looks like you'll just have to be a team of three" say the teacher
"Yes sir" say Pinkie holding onto your arm tighter
He nods and walks away. Pinkie and Lyra let go of your arms
"So we need to create a song?" you ask
They both nod
"Anyone got any ideas?"
"I did have one written down, but I don't think it will be any good" say Lyra looking down at the floor
"Really? can have a look?" you asks
Lyra nods and reaches into her bag and pulls out a notebook. She opens it and turn at a page near the back. She hands it over to you and you read the lyrics to her song. Your eyes widen with amazement. The song was beautiful and the lyrics were incredible.
"Lyra, you wrote this?" you ask still looking at the page
"Yeah..." she says blushing
"This is....amazing" you say looking a Lyra
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"Can I have a look?" asks Pinkie
You hand the page over to Pinkie and she reads it.
"Wow Lyra, super duper awesome" say Pinkie with her trademark smile
Lyra looks at the ground smiling and blushing
"We’re doing this song for our music piece" you say taking back the book from Pinkie
"Are you sure?" Lyra asks
"I have never been so sure, Pinkie do you agree" you say smiling
Pinkie nods her head rapidly
"O-Okay" says Lyra "Who's going to sing?"
"I think you should Lyra" say Pinkie
"M-Me, w-why" Lyra says in shock
"Because you're an AMAZING singer" Pinkie say jumping in the air
"No I'm not" say Lyra blushing again
"Yeah you are, I've heard you when you were singing about-"
Lyra jumps out of her and cover Pinkies mouth
"Okay I'll do it"
"Awesome"
Music class seemed to go by pretty quick. You, Lyra and Pinkie talked about what instruments you were gonna use and what tempo the song will be in.
You leave the leave the classroom with Lyra walking beside you
"What what do you have next?" Lyra asks
"Cooking"
You hear a loud gasp from behinds. You have the exact idea on who it might be. You turn around to see Pinkie again with her big smile.
"OH MY GOSH! You're taking cooking too????" she asks excited
"Yeah..."
"OH MY GOSH ME TOO!!!!"
"....great" you say without any excitement in your voice
"LETS GO!!" she shouts then grabbing your wrist and dragging you around the college
You and Pinkie stop in front of what seems to look like the kitchen building. You walk in to see a bunch of students putting on aprons and getting out some bowl.
"Ah, You must be the newest student" a big lady say coming up to you. Her hair was shaped like a icing on cupcakes, It must of taken ages for her to shape it like that
"Yeah ma'am" you say
"It's nice to meet you, I'm Mrs Cake" she say with a smile "Now if you would like to grab an apron and take a seat, where just about to go over the ingredients to make some blueberry cookies"
"Will do" you say then walking over to where the aprons are and putting one on
You try and find a seat but there doesn't seem to be any around. You notice of at the side of the class a pink and blue curly hair. You walk over examine it more closer. You see that Bon Bon is sitting by herself. She look lonely so you go at sit next to her. When you take your seat you doesn't notice you.
"Hey Bon Bon" you greet her
She doesn't say anything she just looks straight ahead. You wave your hand in front of her face but she still doesn't react.
"Bon Bon YOOHOO" you say still waving your head in front of her
"Bonny!"
She punches you in the arm and looks at you angrily
"Don't call me that!!" she shouts
You hear Mrs Cake clear her throat in the front of the class. All the other student have turned their head towards you and Bon Bon.
"Are you two done?" Mrs Cake asks
"Yes Ms" say Bon Bon
"Good, now as I was saying"
Cooking class seemed to go by pretty slowly. You did get to do a little cooking but it was just to make little star shaped cookies...nothing special.
Finally college was over. You hang your apron and walk out of the kitchen and head back towards your dorm. You feel another fist connect with your arm. You look to the side of you to see Bon Bon still with an angry.
"Did I do something wrong?" you ask
"You called me Bonny" she say still angry
"And?"
"I hate being called that, so stop it" she say demanding
"Wheres the fun it that?" you asks with a small smile
You and Bon Bon walk into the hallway leading towards your dorm. A door opens in front of you which cause you to stop. A head peaks round.
"Ah there you are dear" say Rarity "I've got your suit ready for tomorrow" she continues stepping out of her dorm and handing the suit towards you
You take the suit from her and smile
"Thank you very much" you say smiling
"I think your date will be very pleased" she say with a giggle at the end
"For the last time we're going as friends" you say annoyed
Rarity fires off another giggle
"I'm still sticking by my opinion" she say singing
"Well maybe you could stop expressing it" you sing back and walk past her
Bon Bon catches up with you
"You're going with Lyra right?" Bon Bon asks
You give a simple nod
You reach your dorm and open the door and walk in. You place your new suit into the wardrobe and sit down on your bed. You look over to the door to see Rainbow Dash standing there with her arm crossed and staring at you. You were a little surprised at first
"Can I help you?" you ask
"I wanted to asks you something" she say still standing at the door way
"Ask away"
"My friend Fluttershy...she's a little upset and....I was hoping you could help"
Kingliness BARTHOLOMEW!!
Not too shabby this storys definatly washing away the bad taste red thrush left in my mouth about collage fics.keep up the good work
dude please don't stop writing this, it is awesome, perfect
ARE YOU DISRESPECTIN THE HOUSE OF COOPAH!
I've just finished reading through the prologue and all six chapters, and I'm sorry if what I am about to say will come off as insulting to you, but the grammar in your story is quite far from immaculate.
Many times you have used commas in the place of semicolons, dropped plurals, neglected periods (this particular fault has decreased, but it's still there), overlooked colons, misplaced capitals (e.g. in the prologue, you typed " your Dad" and then spurned then disregarded the capital in "Ponyville") and used the wrong homophone, like "peak" instead of "peek," "of" in the place "off" should be. Also, when writing the common phrase, it is "could have," instead of saying "could of"
The word "You" is used way too much at the beginning of every sentence, several of the paragraphs are too choppy; using short sentences of dialogue are okay, stuff like
Could easily be compiled into one larger paragraph.
I'm just trying to give a bit of criticism, but if any of this offends you, I deeply apologize.