• Member Since 5th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

Boltstrike58


Just a guy who found out that a show about talking ponies is a lot better than I expected.

Sequels1

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In the midst of Opaline's massive Cutie Mark theft, she is confronted by a stallion. A very familiar stallion, who isn't happy about her treatment of Misty.


A quick story I wrote that I think could've been a scene in Make Your Mark, but wasn't shown.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 8 )

Pretty good. The ending sure was ominous, and Alpha's rage strikes me as realistic.

This 100% should have been a thing that happened in MYM. If Opaline hadn't been defeated I'd be willing to see a 1-on-1 with her and Alphabittle. Very well-written.

Whoa. REALLY emotional one-shot in this, quite appropriately so. Kind of wish Alphabittle was able to deliberately invoke some "Frosty Shivers" to use ICE magic to fight a FIRE alicorn (it would have added some stuff to the Papa Wolf rage to allow Alphabittle to get in at least a couple of decent shots in before going down). Still, you did a really good job on the dialogue and characterizations.

"It's kind of a long story, Dad. See, I met this alicorn named Opaline Arcana. She took me in, and I think she might've wiped my memories, because I forgot all about my foalhood, and—"

Actually that makes sense why Misty couldn't remember her past that much

Well I would definitely imagine how Alphabittle would react if Opaline did say something about Misty and probably would have found out that she was responsible for kidnapping his daughter and of course she doesn't care luckily Karma got to her anyway and it looks like they don't have to deal with her anymore after all the years she hurts throughout the thousands of years she got what she deserved this was a pretty interesting one here keep up the good work

Yeah, I'm surprised a scene like this didn't happen in the special but I'm glad you made it real.

I wish we could've seen Alphabittle lash out in parental rage at Opaline for abducting his child.

This story is a wonderful take on that confrontation.

This is a good short story. Aplhabittle's rage was understandable.

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