This story is a sequel to Forgiven
Loosely Based on The Fall of Sunset Shimmer
How did Equestria fall? Why did Twilight create the Unity Crystals? Why did the three pony tribes split in the first place after so many years of harmony? It all ties back to that one fatal mistake, the great oversight…the folly of the Princess of Friendship…the fall of her apprentice…the fall of Opaline. Luster Dawn has moved to Ponyville with a new group of friends, leaving Princess Twilight Sparkle alone to rule in her solace. The Council of Friendship have disbanded due the remaining Mane Six having all died in a tragic accident. Closing herself off from the realm she rules, Twilight feels like she no longer has a purpose in life without her friends.
On the fourteenth Festival of the Two Sisters, Twilight is persuaded to take on an apprentice once again and chooses to take on an idealistic, but lonely unicorn mare named Opaline Arcana, who idolizes her. Seeing the opportunity to right what she considers to be her greatest mistake, Twilight takes Opaline under her wing and trains her in the ways of friendship and magic.
However, when a devastating betrayal begins to lead Opaline down a tragic path to darkness, Twilight must make the ultimate sacrifice to save Equestria….
A/N: Part 4 of the Misty Saga. Rated T for frequent uses of strong language, scary sequences, death, gore, and strong violence. This story takes place BEFORE the second chapter of “Can I Go, Mom?”.
Sequel: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/537325/purpose
Edit: Featured on FIMFiction’s List of Stories On The Homepage: June 3, 2023
Quite a way to celebrate the release of Chapter 4 next week.
First of all: HOLY CRAP! I didn't expect you would actually kill off Sparky! Hitch will not be pleased and he is already out for blood as is.
And I don't think ponies actually use the word 'hell'. They have Tartarus for the equivalent of that and if it's a profanity, they usually replace it with 'hay'.
But that's about the only criticism I can make. Great start! I'll be following. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks for your feedback. Yeah, Opaline actually killed Sparky in the beginning of Forgiven. I killed him off because I had no more use for him in the overarching narrative. It’s sad ‘cuz I actually really like him, but oh well. I had to so I can mine a great reaction out of the Mane 5 when they find out. Also, I used “hell” over ‘Tartarus’ because it felt like a more realistic reaction, but you’re totally right. Consistency in the pony universe is important. I’ll go ahead and change that.
11599779
No problem!
And don't fret if I don't get around to reading the other two chapters for a few more hours. I just woke up and I wanted to be the first one give you feedback, but I will soon!
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Take all the time you need, it’s quite alright. You got ‘till at least tomorrow morning to catch up before the next three are posted.
Edit: Since 12:00 AM (in my time zone) technically counts as morning, the next three chapters are now up. You can still take your time though if you need to. They’ll be right there waiting to be read when you’re ready.
Only through the prologue and things have already taken a dark turn
Sunny's a broken wreck...and Sparky's dead?!
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Yep. Sparky’s dead. While writing this story, I went back and forth in my mind as to whether or not I actually wanted him dead as the cliffhanger of Worthless promised a rescue mission. But with the way the Saga has progressed, I have no more use for him in the overarching narrative, so he had to go. It’s unfortunate, but it had to happen. Plus, I think it increases Opaline’s threat level to readers if one of the core characters is killed off, wouldn’t you agree?
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Yeah, I get that. And it does give the Mane 5 more of an incentive to take Opaline down. It just sucks that their rescue mission is gonna fail.
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Yeah, it definitely does. But by the end of this story, trust me. That’s not the only thing they’ll have to worry about.
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Beautiful animatic! I for one absolutely adore Hamilton, so getting to watch this was a treat. Thanks for sharing! Did you make this?
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No, I just once came across this animatic while surfing youtube. With mention of kirins' singing of Haymilton I figured it would be appropriate to share this.
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Well it is awesome! I now have another channel to subscribe to. That is some really impressive work.
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Oh, I know. I read Can I Go, Mom?, so I know what else is coming
Gotta say this is fantastic so far.
One of your lines was pulled from one of my favorite films:i.pinimg.com/originals/a7/41/2e/a7412e0b8dc55f541e4237ecdac3e19d.jpg
For Sweetie Belle...perhaps a ponified rendition of Amazing Grace:
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You found the Titanic reference!! I’m so happy you did. I like throwing that line in there and seeing who could spot it. As for Sweetie Belle, she and the funeral choir were actually singing “The Long Song” from Doctor Who. You can kinda tell by the structure of the tune. Small opening and then choir the rest of the way through.
“Amazing Grace” actually plays on the way to the town square during the procession though as a nod to the funeral of Superman in BvS, so you weren’t too far off.
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Fantastic!
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Thank you so much!
11600028
Never a problem. Fimfiction is quite short of new G5 stories ATM, so it's awesome to see writers stepping up to the plate.
King Pharynx? Whatever happened to King Thorax?
Twilight suffered an unimaginable loss and now she is losing her faith in friendship. And I have a feeling Opaline will bring it crashing down.
Reading on...
Oh, Spike, if only you knew the horror you have unleashed on Equestria.
I have to say, young Opaline's portrayal really surprised me. Shy? Humble? Caring? So this is gonna be a fallen hero kind of story, isn't it? I appreciate it as I happen to be a fan of that trope. In facv, my very first story on this site was about using this same trope on Twilight herself. Interested to see where this will go.
Reading on...
Honestly, I don't know what Sunny was trying to accomplish by calling Opaline. Did she think she would just narrate her entire life story to her? All she achieved was that Opaline managed to get under her skin and manage to further torment her and try to corrupt her again. I wonder if she managed to plant some seeds of doubt inside her.
Good work so far! Gonna take a break now cause it's 10 pm here and I'm getting sleepy. Will continue reading...
For goodness's sake Sunny stop doing this to yourself. You know you're in no shape to resist Opaline's manipulations yet you insist on trying to pry answers out of her, answers you know full well are either outright lies and/or told in a way to paint her in a good light and omit all the terrible things she did. At this rate Sunny's gonna become a complete mental wreck and it'll a long time for her recover, time that Opaline is certainly not gonna give her.
So...no one gonna comment on the Kung Fu Panda easter egg?
11600028
Okay I have to ask, but who did the cover art?
Holy crap, this chapter was full-on distressing!
Just like a of how Sunset Shimmer’s fall with Celestia was through rebellion and ambition until she was granted forgiveness. Now that fate has been passed down to Opaline with her master Twilight Sparkle and she didn’t know that she would repeat the exact same mistake
As long as the tribes only fight among themselves and not against each other Harmony has a chance...
Yes, not even Misty had mastered it yet. (And she is learning from the best.)
Maybe a magic version of a Force Ghost?
And even that's still more than you had done...
Meanwhile, in an alternative timeline:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2022/10/16/2968417.jpg
Source.
Good premise!
I'm looking forward to see where it goes.
Small hint: If you want to create a horizontal line between scenes simply type
[hr].That creates a line like the one above these two paragraphs.
11600490
Yep. I found it
Can I please get a link?
11602303
Certainly!!
OK, Sunny’s condition is really starting to become alarming here. It makes me worry what’s going to happen going forward with the saga.
Uh, what are you referring to, Zipp? What has that necklace done to you that’s so……………………………………I see what you did there.
11602319
Yeah, the reason why Zipp says that is because she’s referencing the recent Tell Your Tale episode where the necklace briefly turned her evil. I like to believe that the episode happened at some point off-screen in The Misty Saga (probably between Forgiven and this story), but that a different version of that episode took place in this continuity, one where the necklace wasn’t thrown off the cliff and shattered. Plus, Sunny most likely wasn’t involved due to her depression and Misty had no reason to act suspicious, sooooo…probably just the other four’s shenanigans happened. It’s kinda hard to explain, but think of it like some hazy continuity or something.
But yeah! References to either of the actual shows are fun, even if they don’t always make the most sense in this Elseworlds timeline.
11600594
The cover art comes from user Mythical Artist, who posted an in-depth theory about Opaline once being Twilight’s pupil that served as the premise for this story. I modified the art a bit using my photo editor, which is why I didn’t give direct credit. I probably should though.
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To go with the whole future vibe, I wanted Thorax to pass on the reigns of the Changeling Kingdom to Pharynx as a way of leaning more into the changes seen in “The Last Problem.” No fun if everything outside of Equestria stays the exact same.
11600490
Lmao, I sprinkled like three Kung Fu Panda references in this story. See if you can spot them all. :)
11600937
Precisely what I was going for.
11600265
I wanted to give off the impression that Opaline was once this scared and lonely filly who didn’t understand her powers. Once she started studying under Twilight, however, that’s when her hunger for power began to foster.
11601145
Thanks! I can’t wait to see your thoughts on the other chapters. Also, I can do that? Thanks, I’ll try it.
11600316
Yeah, she certainly isn’t going to give Sunny much time at all. In fact, it only gets worse from here as her influence on the poor mare continues to grow.
Did Luster went through her own Lesson Zero at least once?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/5/26/904434.jpg
Source.
Don't turn evil, Twi. Unless you want a 1000 year timeout in wherever they send villains these days.
I don't like the implications of these statement...
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
Found two small errors:
Six? You only described five.
Didn't she ascend to alicornhood earlier in the chapter?
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I like to imagine that she did. That would’ve been so funny to see. Also, oh my Luna, I hate continuity errors so much. Thank you so much for pointing those out, you’re a lifesaver. That last section actually came from an earlier version of the Prologue that just started with the funeral and Luster hadn’t ascended to alicornhood in that previous edit. I stuck it in here because I didn’t feel like rewriting the whole funeral section, but unfortunately, I forgot to correct those errors. Again, thanks for pointing those out. I’ll go ahead and fix them.
Edit: Fixed!
OK, so Sunny just crippled everypony, probably got some of her friends killed, and is now ruling beside Opaline.
Oh, Sunny. Even if things work out, I don’t know if all this can be forgiven.
I don't think I've ever been so horrified over an ending before 😰
I can't imagine how/if they'll get Sunny back, or how many more deaths will occur. But if this saga's ending on a high note, then I'm extremely anxious to see how this all gets resolved.
Who would have thought she might not react good to this?
Hopefully they won't take advantage of that.
Seems like he learned from the best.
Maybe, it you obviously aren't that good at talking to ponies either, if your current performance is anything to go by.
Keep in mind even you need an amulet to pull this of...
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
Small issue:
I believe her name is Opaline Arcana.
On one hoof I think this is a foolish idea.
On the other hoof, I'm curious to see what will come from this...
(On a side note: when did the mirror reveal the truth? Did I miss something?)
Sounds like something Opaline has lots of experience with.
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
Probably still moping inside your castle.
Opaline made sure to give a wink to a certain unicorn bully, didn't she?
He wanted to get out of his job, but I don't think he meant it like this...
Does this explain the lack of griffons and hippogriffs in G5?
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
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Thanks!
Yeah, it’s meant to. I figured if I showed the ramifications of this bill Twilight passed by accident that began sowing the seeds of racism, compound that with Opaline having bad experiences with the other creatures, then I could easily explain the absence of the other creatures in G5 as a result of the hostility ponies now hold towards them and some form of revenge that Opaline took to make that distrust worse.
Oh she definitely did. No way she wasn’t going to rub it in to Chill Raspberry’s face that she’s actually Twilight’s apprentice now. It’s the ultimate punch in the gut for any bully, seeing your victim living the dream life.
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I can confirm that Zipp and Pipp didn’t get killed in the crowd fight. I wouldn’t ever give two of our main characters such an unceremonious end like that unless I really have a reason to. But they are badly injured, for sure. And it’s going to take a lot to bring Sunny back to the light after everything she’s gone through.
11603547
Well luckily, it won’t be long before you find out. Redeemed is most likely going to be split into two chapters labeled Part 1 and Part 2 (like an FIM two-parter finale) and I…think I can get the first chapter out tonight? We’ll just have to see how it goes.
11603952
OK, good. Otherwise I would’ve been mad at you.
And yeah obviously it’s going to take a lot to bring Sunny back. Girl just went all Darth Vader on everyone. I was saying how after all of this there are going to be scars, and those don’t go away.
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Well then, it’s a good thing for me that didn’t happen.
Also, it’s funny how you mentioned Sunny going all Darth Vader on everyone considering I literally wrote the last two sections of the Epilogue to “Birth of the Twins and Padmé’s Destiny” and “Padmé’s Funeral” from Revenge of the Sith respectively. I always love myself some good Star Wars tracks to write scenes to. And yeah, I can’t wait to wrap all this up, so we can see what happens to Sunny in the end.
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Well, we’ll find out whenever that’s get posted.
See you whenever yours or my finale get posted first
Sorry it took so long to get back to this story, but I really wanted to finally update mine before I start reading something longer.
Not cool, Gallus. Not cool. In an argument that griffins are not selfish brutes, you selfishly and brutally poured all of your anger and frustration on a filly. Now that's some twisted irony if I've ever seen any.
Twilight and Opaline have gotten so close to each other and seem so happy together that it makes me wonder how could everything went so wrong? Guess I will find out. Reading on...
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I’m so happy to see you’re still reading the story. I’ll be sure to read yours too as soon as I have the time. I look forward to hearing your further thoughts. :)
You know, if the Crystal Heart has the potential to turn anypony who touches it into a maniacal overlord by breaking their minds with visions of their future, maybe the Crystal Empire should have a strict "Look, don't touch" policy about it. Or maybe lock it away somewhere.
Reading on...
Opaline: "I chose my path, you chose the way of the hero. And they found you amusing for a while, the ponies of Equestria. But the one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you've done for them, eventually they will hate you. Here's the real truth. There are millions of ponies in Equestria. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional ponies onto their shoulders. You, me? We're exceptional. I could squash you like a bug right now, but I'm offering you a choice. Join me! Imagine what we could accomplish together... what we could create. Or we could destroy! Cause the deaths of countless innocents in selfish battle again and again and again until we're both dead! Is that what you want? Think about it, hero!"
Well, considering the title of the last chapter, I already see where this is going. Reading on...