Epilogue
The Final Game of the Season
Admiral Biscuit
It was the end of the volleyball season and almost the end of the school season–next week was finals, and then winter break.
Already the school was decorated for the holidays, and outside the weather was cooperating as well: the ground was covered in a glittering blanket of snow, with more coming down.
They hadn’t won the championship. Even if the team had been whole, they probably wouldn’t have. Sunset could envision a world where they had, but it would have taken a miracle.
After her talk with Kerfuffle, the feelings of guilt had started to fade as their friendship rekindled. Slowly at first, building as the team worked their way through the bracket.
And now it was over.
Almost over.
Sunset shifted on the bench, idly scratching at her wrist. They didn’t need this final practice, but the end-of-season pizza party had turned into an improvised pickup game, the pizzas cold and forgotten.
She watched as Kerfuffle stood and took the court, took her place; she watched as the ball came over the net, an easy hit to the center of the field.
The ball hung in the air, its motion seeming slow but inevitable. Kerfuffle shifted her stance, got her arms down and popped it up; the entire team let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding as the game started to pick up pace.
•••••
Kerfuffle didn’t stay on the court for long, but it was long enough to prove her point, to show that she could still play with a few more months of physical therapy—she’d be ready for her senior year.
After they’d all showered and gotten dressed in their street clothes, Sunset and Kerfuffle were once again the last two of the team remaining behind.
“You call your parents, or do you need a ride?”
“Well.” Kerfuffle picked up a slice of cold pizza and bit the end off. “I haven’t called them yet. If it’s not too much trouble.”
“Not at all.”
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It's been so long, I forgot there even was an Equestria Girls folder in Admiral Biscuit's fleet.
Looking at this story and comparing it to other things I've seen by you, I'm curious about the prompt Rewan Demontay sent you.
Edited to add: Because you pretty much answered my question in this story's story notes blog post (spoilers!), I guess now you know I was curious and asking even before I'd finished reading the story.
Until the last chapter I was under the impression that it was Sunset who had hit Kerfuffle... did I misunderstand something or was it intentional?
In any case, it works, although I think the fact that it wasn't Sunset who was directly responsible for the accident repaints her guilt attacks with a brush of egocentrism.
11785885
I think it was deliberately not directly stated who hit Kerfuffle, until relatively late in the story.
When the author might have intended us to maybe guess or pick up on soft clues would be another question, I think.
11785802
I wasn't sure if there was or not until I scrolled through and found it.
I've written a few EqG fics over the years. At least four of them that I can remember off the top of my head, and there's probably more.
11785851
This was one of those things where I knew how I wanted to go at it as soon as I read the prompt, but the question of if I could pull it off was on the forefront of my mind. It's very much not the kind of thing I usually write.
I'd like to think I did a good job, but I suppose that's up to the readers to decide
11785885
It's intentional.
Thing is with this kind of guilt, even if there's no real connection between what Sunset did or didn't do and what happened, she'll still feel the guilt, because she could have done something different that would have prevented it.
To use a real-world example that I don't mind sharing, years ago at my job I had to deliver some tires on a snowy day. The truck I was driving didn't have the best brakes, and during a sudden traffic slowdown, I took to the ditch rather than rear-end the vehicle in front of me.
The shop truck and I escaped undamaged, and I walked down the hill to a 7-11 with the intention of calling the shop and telling them what had happened, and getting a ride back. As I was crossing the 7-11 parking lot, one of the guys who plowed the shop lot saw me, recognized me, and offered me a ride.
We made it a block before a city bus blew a red light and destroyed the plow truck, and I got a nice ride on a backboard.
If my manager hadn't sent me out, if there hadn't been a traffic slowdown, if I hadn't been offered a ride, if I'd worn my seatbelt (in my defense, it was a one-ton plow truck, what could stop it?) . . . a lot of things could have broken the chain, and someone somewhere on the chain might have felt guilt even though none of the circumstances leading up to the ambulance ride could have been foreseen.
Another personal experience I won't share online--and which, God willing, you never have or will--suggests otherwise. That, and I also consulted with a psychologist, and this is in fact a known version of survivor's guilt.
11785888
That is correct.
It wasn't the kind of thing where I worked hard to misdirect the reader, but I also intentionally kept things vague enough that readers wouldn't be really sure until the denouement.
And I'll be honest, having felt a fraction of what Sunset does after a . . . well, let's say unfortunate and pure coincidental situation, there's stuff where a person feels guilt for the results of something they had at least a minor part in, even if it was in no part foreseeable.
You can't put out banger after banger. It's in poor taste, and it frankly makes us all look bad.
11786258
Don't worry, 'round the end of March or the beginning of April (depending on your time zone), I'll put out an April Fools fic which only appeals to a very limited audience.
11786216
The joys of editing.
The original line was this:
I know Admiral Biscuit is a fan of The Simpsons, so I quoted the above in my notes and replied with:
Just me being silly. I never suggested changing it, and I was quite surprised to find milk had turned to malk in the next draft. I agreed though that leaving it in would be great. Its famous enough that even some non-Simpsons fans will get it through pop culture osmosis.
Very well written mate.
You had me hooked right to the end.
11786228
That kind of reminds me of a character I'm developing in scrap writing works. She lost her leg due to a drunk driver and copes with the loss by reveling in just how off-putting it can be for others to see her walking around with a Terminator-styled leg, or accessorizing the shell with embedded LED lights to really play up the mechanical look.
11786646
Thank you!
11786792
There are people who do that; while I didn't research it for this story, I did some research into prosthetics which included a 3D printed forearm that was made to look almost like lace/spiderweb, hollow in the middle; I've seen stuff with lights added or various other features.* A guy I used to work with had a fake leg for a BTK amputation that had a 'tattoo' on it--there are lots of possibilities in how it can be adorned. I've also seen ones that look close enough to real that you can't tell at all (I was just watching a news video about a high school volleyball player with a prosthetic, and with knee-guards on both legs, it wasn't obvious who had the prosthetic when everyone was standing around . . . nor when she jumped.
I feel like Kerfuffle would be one to go with something fancy, maybe not for every occasion. After all, like it or not she's got it now, might as well make it cool.
_________________________________________________
*IIRC, in one of those videos they interviewed a person who custom-made some of their own prosthetics.
11786792
If I would have my way, drunk drivers would be shot on sight.
A fantastic end to an agonizingly aching journey of Sunset's aura of guilt and come back to the healthier side of things. I cannot thank you enough for this majesty of a story. It blows away anything I thought possible from my Jinglemas prompt. I will forever remember and digest it. I'm just so glad you also throughly had an emotional time writing it. The extent to which you did research to put effort into crafting a realistic psychological journey also amazes. Once again, thank you.
11789279
It was a challenging prompt, that's for sure, but I'm pleased with the result and I'm glad you are as well.
A fantastic end to an agonizingly aching journey of Sunset's aura of guilt and come back to the healthier side of things. I cannot thank you enough for this majesty of a story. It blows away anything I thought possible from my Jinglemas prompt.
Thank you!
Aww, you're making me blush.
11791125
Retro reflectors are cool! There's a cinema technique that uses them; I've watched a video that discusses it and still don't entirely understand how it works, but it apparently does. Harrison Ford jumping out of the bus in The Fugitive was done that way.
I can say after a traffic accident I was twitchy for months afterwards especially when I was riding shotgun, and I got out of that accident with injuries that didn't require medical intervention; I can only imagine how much worse it would be if there were significant injuries. Based on a couple other injuries I've gotten over the years, I've avoided/been more cautious around a couple things that most people would pay little regard to.
11791176
Makes me gladder!
And oh, one last thing. I will that the one weakness the story has, if any, is that the vagueness of Sunset’s depth of fault is perhaps too murky in terms of what the reader may glean, even when the truth is revealed. All the clues seem to foreshadow her being physically present for the accident in some manner. I do understand and like better the idea being mental, self-inflicted guilt despite her participation being tangential. Though the idea to mislead is good, it isn't done the best. To be clear, my point is about the execution, not the concept.
11791192
That was the part where I was worried if I had the chops to pull it off or not. I knew, based on personal experience, that what she was feeling was a thing (confirmed by a psychologist), and various other bits of research or similar personal experience could neatly tie everything else into place, but whether I had the writing skills to pull it off as well as I could see it in my head was what was up for debate. Especially in terms of what to reveal and when to reveal it, and what to make clear and what to leave for the audience to interpret.
11791192
11791224
Friday, I gave an High-Visibility RetroReflective SafetyVest to a retiree:
Back in December, I saw a man, whom I guess, was in his 70s walking at night wearing dark clothes. It is great that he is still active at his age, but a car could hit him. I went to my stash of 'Vests (I bought a 10-Pack for 19.99 U$D of cheap pocketless 'vsts with only yellow —— ¡no orange! —— which cannot withstand even 1 wash, but they are only 2 dollars apiece and are perfect for throwing on friends and family when they go out at night). When I returned, he was gone. I had to wait.
Last Friday, about a fortnight after 1stly saw him, I saw him again. I grabbed the 'vst I kept near the door since the 1st time I saw him and gave it to him.
I almost linked to the 10-pack, but I do not want to give the impression that I get a kickback, but you can find these cheap 'vests easily. As for the 'vest I use, It costs over 20 dollars, has 9 pockets, is orange & yellow and should last a dozen years with a dozen washing per year for a total of a gross of washings. That is the vest I wear daily. I shall not link it because I do not want to give the impression that I get a kickback, but you should be able to find it easily.
Oh Admiral Biscuit, maybe you should get a 10-pack of 'vests for the homes where you volunteer. They might have a FieldTrip which does not finish until after dark and a resident could end up standing on the edge of the road when a car would come.
11792513
I don't see why; hematology is important to medical science!
[/sarcasm]
This isn't the first Sunset story where I've included a discredited 'science' as a field of study. Sadly, I can't remember the first, but I do remember looking it up. Might have been Social Bathing, might have been something else.
Point is I guess you've made it as a prolific author if you vaguely remember having done something once before but can't remember which story it was in.
11793373
To be honest, getting most of our residents out and about is a challenge; many of them don't like physical activity if it can be avoided, and certainly don't like some staff telling them that they're going walking somewhere.
And never mind getting some of them to wear something they don't want to. Heck, getting some of them to put on pants is a challenge . . .
11797239
Unfortunately, you did not reply in chapter (I screw up on this all the time); so now, no notification. Knighty needs to fix this annoying bug.
I loved this.
Recently it's been bothering me that I'm no good at writing meaningful comments to the stories I read, even ones I enjoy a whole lot. Odd as it seems, I feel for Sunset for just not being able to say anything about what she's feeling and the complexity of those feelings, for guilt and for worrying about making it worse or putting herself and her own feelings above the actual victim.
Like Sunset, I find that it's hard to find the words to talk about what happened, because, I mean, the author already knows what they did :P And yet it's so good to get a comment that shows it came across.
11798215
I loved this.
Oh, I feel this deep in my soul--I'm exactly the same way. I'll read the most amazing thing and just have no idea how to put into words how the story made me feel, not unless it's with someone I've interacted with a lot (and even then sometimes I can't really put it into words).
I suppose it's something that gets easier with practice, and maybe I should practice it more often. I know I feel warm and fuzzy whenever I get a comment on a story (unless the comment is "this story is bad and you should feel bad" or something of that ilk). It's even more annoying given that I tend to reply to most comments, but just really suck at starting the conversation.
I don't think it's odd at all, I've been in a similar situations to Sunset, so I totally get where you're coming from. And it's not as easy as telling her she's not to blame, is it? That's a start, but that doesn't solve all the guilt.
11800454
Honestly, it's the comments that make it all worthwhile for me. I love my stories, and I write them because they want to be told, but it's the comments more than the feature box or the vote bar that gives me the strength to keep going. So I also feel my failure to reciprocate deeply
11801296
I agree with you a hundred percent. I write stories 'cause I want to write them, and if other people enjoy them, that's great. If not, oh well, I liked it and that's good enough for me.
It is great reading comments from people who enjoyed the story, or who want to go off on some random tangent--one of the things that got me hooked on the site was the off-topic discussion in the comments on Caliponia's Just Passing Through about the energy contained in liquid rainbow. Not a plot point at all, just a bunch of people geeking out about minutia.
Maybe we should both try to comment more frequently going forward, even if it's just as simple as "I liked this."
11810707
We should. Practice has to be good for something, right?