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After facing a devastating defeat, Chrysalis has lost everything. As her end grows closer, though, she is found by her old rival, Celestia. Their meeting ends with fatal consequences, not only for the two royals, but possibly for all of Equestria as well. Now, with time running out, it's up to Twilight to figure out how to right these wrongs and save the day. This time, though, she'll need some help from an unlikely ally: Chrysalis herself.
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It's nice to see the version two is finally making it's way out. I'll give this some time before I dive in on it, but I'm looking forward to it.
is this story a remake and reimagining of the original story? Of course, there are a couple of points that I don’t like in the original, but still, why do we need a remake?
P.S. I haven’t watched this story yet and I don’t know how different the first story is from the second.
11771979
Glad to hear it. I hope it lives up to the wait.
11772258
I would consider it a sort of second draft of Death of a Queen. As for why, that's a bit of a complicated question to answer, which requires first an understanding of what the first version actually was. You see, the first version of this story was never intended to become what it did. I started it with the expectation that it would be this short little story that I figured I would probably drop halfway through. Once I kind of got going with it, though, I found myself actually enjoying working on it, which prompted me to continue onward. The reason the story might seem kind of rushed is that I didn't really have a plan for where it was going when I started it (for example, the original story was intended to be a romance between Chrysalis and Celestia. Don't ask me how it changed that much, I honestly don't know). While I do agree that the original version had some things that weren't well liked or didn't make much sense, that's not really the reason why I'm doing this.
I guess my point is that this is a more complete version, a version that I actually started with the intention of finishing, and a story that I actually knew where I wanted it to go and what I wanted it to show. That's a whole lot of words to basically say this: when I finished the original, I felt that I treated it almost unfairly. Thus, I decided that I should redo it with the effort that a story like this deserves. It still hits most of the same main plot points and themes, but it's a bit more coherent as a whole and changes up plenty of twists and turns that the original didn't have.
I know that was a wall of text, and I apologize for it, but I get the feeling you're not the only one asking that question, and I figured I should get this long, rambling answer out of the way sooner, rather than later. Either way, I hope you enjoy this new version.
11772469
In any case, thanks for the detailed answer.
Can’t wait to see how things play out.
i just went back to read the original side by side with this. I feel like this one is a lot smoother than the last. I love it m8.
11773428
Glad you’re enjoying it.
@Arkane12
Will you continue Life of a Queen?
I agree with Stahlseele. Will you continue Life of a Queen?
11774451
11774498
So, Life of a Queen also started a rework process which connects it more with the new ending. However, I’ve taken a bit of a break from writing Fanfiction to work on an original piece. I will eventually pick up LoaQ and Ashes again, but I don’t know how long that’ll be. I’ve never published a book, after all.
Awww, so she does have a bit of a soft side, buried very very deep down
I'm really glad I followed you to wait for this to come out. I really like chryalis redemption stories, and this one reads very well too.
11775698
Thank ya kindly for the compliment. Glad you’re enjoying.
Ah, it's good to be back. But being serious, this really surprised me that you're making a reboot on this. It's one of my favorite series of yours and in my top 10. I can agree there was some weird points in the last one, but if you feel like you need to correct some things, I'll be happy to read what you have in store for us now. Plus doesn't love a revenge story wrapped in the love story
So far, the most noticeable change in this version seems to me to be the appearance of memories of the distant past of Chrysalis. 🤔
perhaps this will all be the connecting prerequisites for the story “Life of a Queen”, but I didn’t read it beyond the first chapter because I didn’t think that this story would reach the end.
P.S. in fact, personally I would like more changes so that I don't know the characters' next steps and that there are unexpected turns that may surprise older readers.
11776195
That’s definitely a part of it. As I said, new twists, new plot threads. Working on Life of a Queen, I fully fleshed out Chrysalis, backstory. That means I can slide it into this one a bit more in hints and dialogue, before the rest of the series would explore it. In fact,her backstory is kind of integral to the plot of this story more, now.
Honestly, designing Chrysalis backstory, who she used to be, where she was before coming to Equestria, it was one of the more fun parts of working on this series. I got to create her homeland with tons of creative freedom, as I don’t think the show’s cannon really has much on it.
I also really liked Iris, who gets a bigger role this time around.
I don’t remember if Thorax even appeared in the original version of the story? Because for some reason I only remember his mention at the end where he reported that "the changelings refuse to accept the body of Chrysalis in order to bury him on their territory"
11776738
You know, you having said that actually made me stop and think if Thorax was in the original. I genuinely could not remember. But yes, he is. In fact, I should have remembered that easily, because he’s in my favorite scene in the original. The bathroom scene with Chrysalis that resulted in the image that became the cover art for both stories.
Side note: anyone have thoughts on the new cover pic? I did it myself, but I suck ass at art.
11776835
did someone else do the cover art in the original story? (I can't deny that the old cover looks more professional)
in principle, this cover is also not bad, but in my opinion it would be better if Chrysalis looked at her reflection, and not somewhere down.
I have a little experience in creating covers for fanfiction, but I'm still that lazy ass who just doesn't know how to start working.
11777092
The first was done by an actual artist, yes. He was busy this time around, so I decided to just do it myself.
11776835
I personally like that she's not looking at the mirror anymore because the whole first half of this story was her not accepting her position or would she really wanted and sticking to an idea that at the end of the day might have saved her in the past but was actively hurting her in the future.
Oh in the bathroom seeing this one of my favorites as well
I just hope that some progress is made with Celestia and there isn't too much slice of life fluff too soon. With a very clear timer on her life the story can't take a break or the stakes feel trivialized. I'm liking it so far and hope this version has a more natural progression.
Been loving this rework so far I can't wait for the next update :)
Oof. Twilight was finally making progress and then super stressed and ultra tired Luna decided she had enough. My biggest surprise is that Twilight isn't looking for some way to restore Chrysalis's horn or even asked her if she could restore her own horn in time. She still has bits of Chrysalis's broken horn around. That would seem like a more viable option than trying to make a brand new magic cleansing potion.
11786127
I don’t know if Twilight would view restoring Chrysalis’’ horn as a valid solution, seeing as she believes it would kill Chrysalis in return if she were to cast the spell. Likewise, returning Chrysalis’ magic to her full control would probably be seen as a pretty dangerous idea.
11786152
The only reason Chrysalis said it would be lethal is if she tried to heal her without her horn. Unless I missed something? And yeah, letting Chrysalis have full magic control is dangerous and based on the flimsiest of trust, but I don't see this imaginary potion Twilight is going to invent as being something that can come into creation.
11786127
Twilight might be as far as liking Chrysalis in a weird "Your sarcasm matches my own" sort of way, but it's still a FAR CRY from trusting her to actually try and heal Celestia, instead of either escaping or trying to depose the other alicorns.
Plus, it requires a massive amount of energy that the Queen still doesn't have.
11786183
Only answer I got is for the energy. If she got enough love from Thorax and the changelings, she could heal herself and have enough power to heal Celestia. But yeah, requires trust that isn't there yet.
It turns out that if Chrysalis had not been so diligent in saving Thorax from starvation as a child, she would not have lost her hive? This is what I call irony.
it’s almost the same as reforging, sharpening and removing rust from a dull knife that should have been thrown away so that in the end this knife would be stuck in your back.
11787266
That’s a very interesting perspective.
I remembered something and this is what thismedia.discordapp.net/attachments/1188938066698698883/1191285086675554314/mxrhwa8sl1341.png?ex=65a4e1b1&is=65926cb1&hm=6db2563a46e1cb50ae55f713582acbd219d1620fe79342f5eebeea7b4e8da547& chapter reminded me of
Why won't they put respect on twilight's name? This is the canterlot wedding incident all over again but reversed.
Twilight is a Princess.
Luna can not overrule her right?
And Cadance and Shining Armor are foreign State so they do not get to say anything.
11788042
Not sure if this is canon, but in most stories I read refer to Celestia and Luna as High Princesses and other alicorns as Princesses. So Luna still outranks Twilight and Cadance.
But man, this is an awful situation. Poor Twilight and Chrysalis can't catch a break. Zero trust and Celestia is paying for it.
11787982
I don't know what this was, but the link didn't work. Instead, I will use my imagination to determine what this photo was.
When did Chrysalis get her magic back? I thought her horn was still broken.
A break? Maybe after she's done the round of testing with the new potion first and tried it on Celestia. I can't imagine anything will pull Twilight away until she's tested a viable potion on Celestia.
11788347
It’s established at some point, but Chrysalis doesn’t need her horn to cast magic, but to focus it. Her magic has a chance to backfire. Its fine if she tries to use smaller spells like her telekinesis, but bigger spells that require a greater deal of magic, she can’t focus it, so if she tries to channel too much magic, she runs the risk of it just detonating like a bomb. That’s why she can’t cast the spell she mentioned earlier.
11788379
Got it. Just surprised me since she's basically used no magic since she was taken captive.
11788432
That was more to do with her being starved/dying. Now that she’s recovering, she can use her magic.
Looking down at the Guard she continued:"As for you Guard . . she obviously values my life higher than yours. They all do to be honest. You may want to rethink your employment."
11788496
It seems fine for me but try again. If not it's the one where Chrysalis say ask for forgiveness but while it says you're still going to jail
11788518
With how easily she beat him and took his weapon, his employers may want to reconsider his employment.
Weekly updates would be amazing lol, but do what you Believe would be best for you, I look forward to every update :)
In all honesty, I kinda want all the chapters now. I know that's not reasonable, you still need to set up every chapter and polish it. And as someone who is working on a fanfic, I've recently discovered the woes of copy/pasting stuff between websites (blank lines between paragraphs are constant casualties), so I'm not actively making the request for you to go faster. But, I'd love to see the chapters as soon as they're ready, rather than wait for an arbitrary and slower release schedule, assuming the rewrite is complete and you don't need more time for it that is.
11788580
No reason it can’t cut both ways.
Well, Cadance’s secret may be safe with Shining, but what about all the actual guards who were there? Presumably reports from them will work their way up the chain of command that he’s no longer a part of...
11789069
I understand cadence made it sound like it was chrysalis fault but it was 100% the guard's fault. First of all for underestimating the prisoner. Unnecessary amount of force not including attacking the prisoner with her back turned unnecessary roughness. In attacking the prisoner without orders of the higher ranking officer princess or whatever authority that would give him the right to do so in technically was self-defense from chrysalis.
Those were some good chapters. I could feel some foundations being built for things later on. I just hope something works for Celestia to at least buy her some more time if nothing else. Timing is getting a bit too dire lately.