The second changeling attack failed miserably. It seemed like Chrysalis had lost everything. Her Hive, her children, her throne, her glorious plans, her hostages: all gone. Running away from Starlight Glimmer's offer of friendship, Chrysalis contemplates her next move: going to Equestria in disguise ... again.
But something lingers in Chrysalis's mind, a thought from a long time ago.
Can the Princess of Friendship and her student help the former Changeling Queen after all?
May contain Chrylight (TwilightxChrysalis) friendshipping and Chrimmer (StarlightxChrysalis) shipping..
Chapters (18)
I LOVE IT
What ship is the romance tag for?
7626478
Chrimmer (Starlight Glimmer x Chrysalis). I got the idea after seeing Starlight trying to relate to Chrysalis in the finale.
Good start. Can't wait to read more :)
7626535 Ah, sounds good. Thanks for the answer!
Nice beginning, I don't think I've seen this ship before.
I still don't get how the love harmed her. At the wedding it made sense, it was a spell powered by love, so what hit them was a spell, not pure love. But in this case it should've only made her stronger. Oh well.
Chryssie might actually have to save the hive that betrayed her. All the drones we've seen were male and Thorax is male. And the flashback back in the Thorax episode showed Chryssie taking care of all the Grubs like a mother, so... Unless the transformation randomly changed their sex, they're doomed to slowly due out, since they cannot reproduce.
I didn't spot any mistakes and the style is very good. Kudos.
Promising start! Looking forward to seeing more. :)
One critcism I have is that whenever a separate character speaks, you should be making a new paragraph. Instead, you're putting dialogue from a bunch of different characters into the same paragraph, which is confusing to read. For example, this:
All this time, Fluttershy had been unusually quiet, even for her. “Fluttershy?” Twilight turned to look at her shy friend. “Is everything okay?” The pink-haired pegasus crossed her hooves and stared at them. “Um, I … earlier on, I was tending to some of my animal friends that had been scared by my imposter self … and …” “And what?” Rainbow Dash flew over to her, starting to be really concerned.
Should be more like this:
All this time, Fluttershy had been unusually quiet, even for her. “Fluttershy?” Twilight turned to look at her shy friend. “Is everything okay?”
The pink-haired pegasus crossed her hooves and stared at them. “Um, I … earlier on, I was tending to some of my animal friends that had been scared by my imposter self … and …”
“And what?” Rainbow Dash flew over to her, starting to be really concerned.
7640105
Thank you for your constructive criticism. I will change it this evening. I hope that this has not confused anyone.
New chapter! Its great!
And they just go on to have fun after taking everything Chryssie had in her life away...
Yeah, separating character dialogue into individual lines would make it less confusing.
7690273
7640105
Thank you for your constructive criticism. I have altered the chapter slightly ... I hope it will be to your liking this time.
7690901 Great job, much easier on the eyes when reading.
7690901 Okay! I'll check it out when I can. :)
Welp, I see a squirrelcalypse in the near future.
*prepares some chicken soup for the poor sickly Chryssie, with love!*
'INCREASING UNCOMFORTABLE' - increasingly.
Poor Chrissy I hope somponey finds her soon and keep up the good work update more soon
Please updaaaate
D: *prepares chicken love soup for Chryssie*... Im not sure how well that'd work.
Welp, that'll be an awkward wake up.
Okay, now, when Thorax comes over, Chryssie needs to request to talk to him to bury that hatchet and then punch him in the throat and/or groin.
'inhibitor ring on her horn and is tied up' - remove is
So Chrysalis awakens and has a quadruple threat happening to her in terms of her illness making it worse. Here's hoping she knows what humility is cause she definitely needs to know when to ask for help and not refuse it, especially since she's already getting it.
Also where's chapter 6 at? I got a notification that 3 chapters were updated in a row and I only see the first 2.
8063691
Oh yes ... sorry, that was me. My Internet malfunctioned when I was submitting the two chapters: causing a duplicate of one of the chapters to appear. I then had to fix the problem. I'm sorry if I confused you.
8063368
No one is going be punching anyone. There will be some harsh words and arguments in the future ... but hitting ponies and other creatures will not happen in this fimfic.
8064291 Understandable then.
8063352 head cannon always works cause buck logic!
If you don't mind a little critique, this bit is slightly redundant
Because Spike thinks Starlight is acting just like Twilight, we don't need the parenthetical aside about how what she's doing is something Twilight would do. It would flow better without it. Additionally, fans of the show know Twilight paces in circles.
Well, the tree sequence was amusing to picture.
Probably should change one of these uses of nasty to something else.
Well, the store pony is probably coming up with his/her own explanations as to why seven ponies walked into the shop and asked to buy an oversized bed together.
Interesting start. But not updated since March? I hope this hasn't been abandoned.
8639973
It hasn’t been abandoned. I’ve been tangled up in other projects, but there’ll probably be a new chapter on the 2nd of January. I’m very sorry for the wait.
8640389
Oh, good. I just discovered this yesterday, so I haven't been waiting as long as those who have been following it from the beginning.
Please I need to see more of this amazing story.
Yay, update! Trixie might not like Starlight cheating on her with the bug queen, but maybe she'll be okay with it. Or you could just pair Chrysalis up with Flufflepuff.
Hmm, waking up tied to the bed, is it Wednesday already?
I hope more chapters will soon be posted please?
I kinda wish you had picked something else besides a regular old fever. I mean, don't get me wrong, fevers can be really bad on occasion, but there are a lot of better options to choose from, including making something up, if you want a character to be so sick they can't move. That's my only complaint as of now, and I have to admit it is a bit nitpicky of me.
Other then that I like it so far.
8804507
Thank you for your comment. Do you have any suggestions for the future?
Hopefully more chapters?
Nice nice I like how you're handling the flutterpony thing so far, you didn't have Chrysalis just dump everything she knows about it the moment she was told what Starlight was reading about (not that she got the chance to but still). There's a bit of mystery involved and I enjoy that.
It's been so long since I last read the story that I can't remember if the pairings was a thing in the summery the last time I did, but now that I know it's there I am ecstatic.
Hope to see more from this story in the future.
Well.
This is awkward.
Great chapter.
Who bets poison joke Chrysalis will throw a tantrum for Thorax stealing her hive?
Luna: We know thou hoped to improve thine relationship with Chrysalis but we didn't think it was in such an intimate way. *says with a sly smirk behind her wing.*
You think changelings are the Flutterponies under a curse?
My best bet is Starswirl. Nothing good comes from him or a treasonous subject. Thorax’s previous life.
The clues are in the description, eh?
Alright, let’s peruse the rogues’ gallery, shall we?
Nightmare Moon — Has alibi, was with Celestia/had not yet turned evil
Griffons — No money in it.
Trixie — ‘Best friends’ with time traveler. Could be failed magic trick? Too incompetent to do it on purpose, just barely not incompetent enough to do it accidentally.
Parasprites — Only ate normal foodstuffs prior to preparation by panicking purple proto-princess.
Blueblood — No known time traveling/ would have totally messed up his mane.
Dragons — Lack of evident burnination
Diamond Dogs — No holes/chew toys/David Bowies.
Discord — Way too stoned at the time to pull it off
Changelings —
Sombra — No slaves/crystals.
Mane-iac — Completely contradicts issue 237.
Tirek — Presumed incarcerated/not really his M/O
Smooze — No lake of purple sludge/lime-green jelly
Starlight Glimmer — Access to time travel. Despite everything, not known to personally destroy entire nations.
Yaks — ... ... Surprisingly plausible.
9192733
I'd rule the Yaks out, while they like to smash stuff it's usually smashing. This looks like complete devastation like something purposely wanted to destroy the land so it's unlivable. The Yaks at least can have their actions repaired and rebuilt. Plus it doesn't explain the Flutterponies disappearance or transformation into Changelings. The Purple Smooze is more likely since it was made to do this exact scenario according to the G1 special/first arc. Though one other thing could be responsible if we look back at Canon about a certain poison and the story behind it that's never mentioned again.
I bet ponies are responsible for its destruction. My reason is when in life had ponies ever destroy something or steal for themselves?
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I think the flutterponies asked for help but the others with their own threat
9201773
I say it was a mixture of the ponys and the griffens
9201855
I think you mean ‘They had their own threat to deal with’ I agree, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t use it the threat to commit crimes to make them innocent.