37: Family Ties
“Wait! Hold on! I’m not dressed yet,” Thorax yelled.
Unphased, Chrysalis stepped through the door and into the room. A small, single bed took up most of the space. An unused bureau sat in the corner. A writing desk with a small lamp. A few dusty windows. Another door sat at the back of the room, a dim light shining from inside.
Through the opening, she could see Thorax’s head peeking at her.
“What could you possibly be ashamed of that I haven’t seen before,” Chrysalis groaned, climbing onto his bed and letting her body fall limp. The smaller frame left her limbs hanging over the edge.
“Oh. It’s you.” Thorax stepped out from his hiding place. He wore a sky-blue suit coat and a pair of striped boxer shorts. “I thought you were . . . nevermind. What are you doing here?”
“Avoiding a pest,” Chrysalis snipped.
“I heard that!” Cadance’s voice came calling from outside.
“I know. Standing there is only going to make me more inclined to insult you,” Chrysalis shot back, resting her cheek on Thorax’s pillow.
“Seriously? Flurry Heart doesn’t even make threats that petty.” Chrysalis smiled as she heard an exhausted sigh from the princess. “Fine. I’ll give you two some privacy. But that doesn’t mean I’m leaving. I’ll be back to collect you in a few minutes.”
Chrysalis closed her eyes, listening for the clop of horseshoes before her body finally relaxed.
“So . . . do I want to know what all this is about?” Thorax asked.
“No, you--” Chrysalis sat up. “What are you wearing?”
Thorax glanced down at himself. “A suit. I think I look rather dashing in it.”
“You look like a pony,” Chrysalis growled. But her annoyance was short lived as she collapsed back down onto the mattress. “I knew it wouldn’t be long before you went full native, but I expected better of you than this.”
“I’m going out tonight.” Thorax shrugged. “Need to look my best.”
“And where exactly are you going?” Chrysalis watched the ceiling fan spin.
“We’re heading down to one of the bars in Downtown Canterlot.”
Chrysalis arched her neck just enough to stare at the smaller changeling. “We?”
“Yeah.” Thorax rubbed his neck, laughing nervously. “Me and my entourage.”
“Oh. Them.” Chrysalis returned to the swirling fan blades. “I suppose that makes sense. But what are you going to do at a bar? You don’t actually drink that fruity swill that those ponies sell, do you?”
“The hard cider? Yeah. It’s not bad.”
“Ugh . . .” Chrysalis pressed the back of her foreleg to her head, just below the remains of her horn. “My children are dead to me.”
Thorax rolled his eyes. “We’re going out to feed tonight. Normally, everyone goes out while I stay here, but I thought I needed to get out of the castle for a while.”
“To feed? You’re still feeding on the ponies?” Chrysalis let a faint hope blossom in her chest. “Maybe you’re not as dead to me as I thought.”
“We’re not planning on foalnapping them or tricking them into letting us feed. Turns out, there are a lot of desperate ponies out there just looking for company, if only just for the evening.” Thorax slipped on a pair of dress pants. “Being able to look however they want just makes it better for them.”
“I feel such an odd mix of pride and disappointment,” Chrysalis whined.
“Yeah, I’m sure you do. Now it’s your turn to answer my question. Did Cadance bring you down here? Did you two need something from me?”
“Well, I was hoping you might treat me to dinner,” Chrysalis said, stretching out across his bed. “But it seems that you’re too busy for little old me.”
“Chrysalis.” Thorax frowned walking up to the edge of his bed between two of Chrysalis’ outstretched legs. “If you’re hungry, I’m more than happy to feed you. But is that the only reason you’re here?”
“What do you mean?” Chrysalis’ eyes snapped open, narrowing on Thorax.
“I’ve been feeding you for a long time now. You’ve never come down to my room to see me.” He hopped up onto the bed, nestling beside Chrysalis. His suit felt scratchy on her chitin. “So, what’s different this time?”
“What makes you think anything is . . .?” Chrysalis cut herself off, letting out a long sigh.
“I thought so. Feel like talking about it?”
Chrysalis pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’ve been feeling a little . . . off, lately.”
“Off?” Thorax scratched his back with his antler. “Define ‘off’.”
“If I knew what it was, I wouldn’t be struggling to figure it out.” Chrysalis rolled onto her stomach, grumbling. “Of course, I doubt I could think anyway on an empty stomach.” She pursed her lips.
“Fair enough. Here.” Thorax unleashed a jade-colored mist from his horn. The energy welled around Chrysalis. She took a deep breath, inhaling a great deal of the mist in a single attempt.
“I just don’t get it,” Chrysalis muttered, swallowing.
“You’re not feeling like yourself. What can you tell me? What’s been bugging you?”
Chrysalis drew in another mouthful. “I don’t really know. I just . . . I’m tired, Thorax.”
Thorax’s head popped up in the corner of her vision. “Tired? I’m not letting this go that easily. If something’s wrong, we need to talk about it.”
“I wasn’t avoiding the question,” Chrysalis snapped. “I just . . . I feel tired. I don’t even enjoy arguing with Cadance anymore. I feel like I’ve lost something.”
“You’ve lost a lot of things,” Thorax said, resting his chin on his mother’s shoulder. “I’m not really surprised you feel like that.”
“Except you’re forgetting that I’ve been living without you or your siblings for nearly a year now. Why would that pop up now?” Chrysalis shook her head. “It’s got to be something else. Maybe I should try tormenting another guard. That always used to entertain me.”
“Chrysalis!” Thorax glared at her.
She groaned. “Yeah, I know, I made a promise. Like that’s ever stopped me before.”
“You don’t think that would upset Twilight?”
The room’s air shifted as Thorax’s words faded. Chrysalis’ body tensed, causing Thorax to do so in response. “What should I care what that stupid little princess thinks? She’s more annoying than Cadance. I should have killed her when I had the chance.”
Thorax recoiled from the sudden volume. But it wasn’t fear Chrysalis saw on his face. Rather, it looked more like curiosity. “Back in Canterlot, you mean?”
“Sure.”
“What has Twilight been doing to bother you?” Thorax asked, standing tall to see his mother’s face. Chrysalis kept her head turned away.
“She . . . I don’t know. She captured me, for one. She wants to be my friend. It’s some sort of sick joke. I don’t make friends with ponies.” Chrysalis’ eyes lost focus. “I don’t need friends. They’re nothing more than trouble.”
“Are you trying to convince me?” Thorax asked.
Chrysalis’ focus snapped back. “Convincing a grub like you is a waste of my time.”
“Then you’re trying to convince yourself.”
Chrysalis’ breath caught in her throat. “You’ve been spending too much time around these ponies,” she snarled. “You think I care about Twilight? She’s a pain. She’s done nothing but cause me trouble. She . . .”
“She what?” Thorax asked. He scooted closer, laying his head beside hers.
“She . . .” Chrysalis’ voice wavered. “She’s the only one in this damned city that still cares about me.” The tension in the air slipped away. “Even after everything that I did to her, she still worries about me. It’s . . .” She snapped her fangs suddenly. “It’s infuriating.”
“I still care about you.”
“And that is a conversation we desperately need to have. But it’s different. I can’t quite put it into words, but . . . she feels differently towards me.” Chrysalis rolled off the bed. “And now she thinks she’s in love with me. Stupid pony.”
“Do you love her back?”
Chrysalis rocketed to her hooves. Thorax stepped back, but Chrysalis just glowered. “Don’t you ever suggest that I love her. Just the thought of that creature loving me is enough to make me sick.”
“I see.” Thorax nodded and climbed back onto his bed. “What are you going to do about it? I’ve known Twilight for a long time. She’s not going to give up on you easily. That said, it wouldn’t be hard to get her to hate you. You almost broke her back at the beginning of all this.”
“What are you blabbering about?” Chrysalis asked.
“Back when you spent your time tormenting Twilight. Refusing to help her, hindering her at every opportunity. She did give up on you. She told you as much in the Gardens. I begged her to help you, though.”
“Why must you always insist on sending these ponies to my aid?” Chrysalis asked, flustered.
“And she gave you one more chance. You could have driven her off easily. But you didn’t. Did you ever stop to think why?” Thorax straightened his tie and flattened his jacket.
“You’re full of crap, Thorax,” Chrysalis sighed.
“Maybe. Or maybe you’ve spent enough of your life lying that you don’t know what the truth is anymore. You’ve fought so hard against these ponies. Do you even know why?” Thorax rounded the end of his bed, advancing on Chrysalis. “Tradition? Tradition nearly killed us all. Revenge? I hope not. You drew first blood, after all.” He shook his head.
“I came here to speak with you, but if you just intend on spouting all this--”
“Pride? Is that it? You’re willing to die before you accept their help? You think that makes you weak?” Chrysalis turned away as Thorax raised his hoof. But then his hoof brushed her chin. He caressed her shell softly, gently moving her head to look toward him. “Twilight doesn’t want your pride. You know that, don’t you? She wants you to be happy. She wants you to have a new life, one where you don’t have to beg, borrow, and steal just to make sure you survive another day. Why are you so against it?”
“I . . . It’s been the way I’ve lived for so long. I’m not sure I know any other way,” Chrysalis said, casting her gaze downward. “I was born to struggle and to fight, to kick and claw my way to the top. No matter how long or how far I run, I can’t escape that. It’s just another facet of my cursed blood. I won’t be subject to these ponies.” She pulled away from Thorax. “I can’t.”
“Then don’t. Even at your lowest point, you’re still a Changeling Queen. Believe me, I understand that a lot of ponies look down on us. I see it constantly when I’m out on the town, visiting a friend, or even just walking down the road. But there are some that hold us above that. To a higher standard.”
“Like Twilight,” Chrysalis realized.
A long silence passed between them.
“Do you get it now?” Thorax asked.
Chrysalis slipped back onto the bed with minimum effort. “I hate her. I really do. I think that was her trap.” She laughed listlessly.
“I don’t follow,” Thorax said, turning to check his reflection in the full-body mirror.
“When I arrived here, they all looked down on me. Luna. Cadance. Shining Armor. Even the guards. They saw me as a prisoner. A trophy of their victory over the Swarm. Not even worthy of a noble death.”
“Meaning?”
“Twilight never had those reservations. She saw me as a monster. She knew I was a threat. And she treated me like one. Always keeping her guard up. Always ready to battle me down when I caused trouble.”
“Wait.” Thorax’s eyes went wide. “You got into a fight with Twilight?”
She ignored him. “When I rebelled, she didn’t spare the rod. She didn’t show me mercy because of my perceived weakness.” Chrysalis’ eyes were shining. “No, she faced me head-on, as a warrior, and she put me in my place. She might be the only thing in Equestria I have even an ounce of respect for.”
Thorax raised a brow. “It’s not love, but doesn’t your respect earn Twilight a chance?”
“I don’t love her, Thorax.” Chrysalis frowned.
“I didn’t say you did,” Thorax said back.
“And I don’t need a friend, either.” Chrysalis closed her eyes. “But I can, at the very least, see her as an equal.”
“Why don’t you tell her that? See where things go from there?”
“I can’t, Thorax. I can’t be personal with her. Not after last time.” She flinched.
“Last time?” Thorax tilted his head.
“Yes. The last time. Long before you were ever born.” Chrysalis opened her eyes, but her gaze lingered miles away. “I refuse to fall victim to that again.”
“Hold on, I don’t know what you’re talking--”
“King Thorax? Are you in there?”
Even after a year, Chrysalis recognized that voice. One of her old officers.
“Hold on, Pharynx,” Thorax called. “I’ll be out in a minute.” He quieted himself and returned to his conversation with Chrysalis. But the Changeling Queen was already at the door. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“Enjoy yourself tonight, Thorax. You deserve it.” With a grin, Chrysalis pulled the door open, revealing a half-dozen changelings standing outside, each dressed for a night on the town.
“Chrysalis?” Pharynx snarled. His horn ignited with magic.
“Calm yourself, grub. I’m going.” Chrysalis marched past the irate stares of her children.
“Chrysalis, wait.” Thorax stumbled out his door. He tried to reach out to his mother, but Pharynx caught him by the wing. “Hey. Let go. I wasn’t done talking.”
“I think it’s quite clear that we’re done, Thorax.” Chrysalis tossed a malicious smile over her shoulder. A few of the closer drones staggered back, whimpering. Chrysalis’ chest heaved with laughter. A sad, broken, furious laugh. Before Thorax could say anything else, Chrysalis limped away.
“You alright?” Cadance waited, leaned up against a nearby wall. She studied Chrysalis’ face as she marched past, but the changeling kept her expression hidden.
“What do you care?” Chrysalis asked.
“Still have the chip on your shoulder, huh?” Cadance didn’t sound surprised. She followed Chrysalis back up to the rest of the rooms. “Did the two of you have a fruitful discussion?”
Chrysalis answered with a silent glare.
“Alright, don’t tell me. It’s none of my business.” Cadance slowed further, allowing Chrysalis to widen the gap between them. “But if you were to ask me, I’d say that those changelings were a little rude. I mean, I’m not your biggest fan, but I at least have the manners to fake it.”
“Shut up,” Chrysalis said.
“You’re their mother. What did you do to them to make them dislike you?” Cadance tugged at her mane. “It’s almost impressive.”
“They don’t hate me.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Cadance shrugged. “You seem okay with it. I guess I won’t worry.”
“Good.”
Chrysalis finally reached her door. Her heavy hooves told of a miles-long journey. Without another word to Cadance, she slipped into her room and shut the door behind her. She moved instinctively to turn the lock, only to remember she didn’t have one on this side of the door. But Cadance never tried to follow her inside.
Content with her solitude, Chrysalis climbed into her bed. She lay her head back against her pillow. Her gaze traced the lines on the map above. But the colors had faded. She searched for anything around the room that might wrest her attention from her own thoughts.
As she rolled onto her side and curled into herself, Chrysalis took a deep breath.
She could smell the scent of lavender perfume from the purple fur on her pillow.
Twilight gritted her teeth as she scratched behind her ear. She restarted her current line, muttering the words under her breath in an attempt to get the information to stick. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be working.
The door to her bedroom opened, allowing Inkwell inside.
“Princess? Are you alright?” The secretary set another book on Twilight’s desk, adding to the pile already building there.
“No,” Twilight cried. She let her head fall, sticking the tip of her horn in the wooden desk. “How does Celestia do this? This tax code is one of the most archaic texts I’ve ever read. And I deciphered Starswirl’s coded spells.”
“My apologies, Princess. If I had known about this earlier, I would have gotten these lessons started much earlier.” Inkwell’s quill scribbled on her clipboard. In the back of her mind, Twilight wondered if Inkwell and Doctor Heart might’ve been related.
“It’s not your fault,” Twilight assured her. “Just rough circumstances. Nothing to be done for it. That said, I’ve been at this for . . .” She turned to the clock on the wall. “Six hours! Yeah. I’m thinking it’s time I take a break.”
“Are you sure, Princess? There’s still a lot of information to go through. And, of course, there are the specific case briefings for tomorrow that we still need to--” Inkwell interrupted herself when she noticed Twilight’s heavy breathing.
“Deep breaths. Everything’s going to be fine, Inkwell.” She didn’t like how comfortably she could lie now. “But if I’ve learned anything from my late-night study sessions, it’s that you need to take breaks. Probably should have taken one before six hours, honestly.”
“Whatever you wish, Princess Twilight.” Inkwell bowed. “Shall I assist you?”
Twilight stood, using her desk as a crutch until feeling returned to her legs. “If you’re so inclined, I would be quite thankful if you would come fetch me in . . . say . . . fifteen minutes?”
“Of course. Where should I look for you?”
Twilight opened her bedroom door. Her legs still felt like jelly, but she didn’t want to waste any more time than she already had. “I’ll be heading down to check on Chrysalis. I left her with Cadance earlier, and I get the feeling that probably didn’t go over too well.”
“Should I fetch guards to escort you?”
Twilight shook her head. “That won’t be necessary, but thank you.” She gave the secretary a disarming smile before closing the door and twisting her face in pain. Her hooves grabbed at her cheeks, pulling her cheeks downward until they were taut. A few long strides brought her to Chrysalis’ door.
Ignoring the guards, Twilight went directly for a knock.
“Go away, Cadance!” Chrysalis yelled from inside.
Twilight curled her lips inward, stifling a laugh. “I’m glad today went that well for you. But I’m not Cadance. So, could you open the door?”
“Ugh . . . you’re just as bad.” On the other side of the door, a mattress creaked as a weight lifted off it. Even from here, Twilight could hear the clack of wood on tile from Chrysalis’ leg.
Without a word, the door cracked open. Twilight slipped inside and closed it behind her, oblivious to the concerned glare from the Royal soldiers.
“Good evening. Have fun today?” She ducked as a pillow sailed over her head.
“Of course not. What strange magic managed to convince you that I would enjoy spending a day with Cadance?” Chrysalis sat at the edge of her bed, watching Twilight with a furious glare. Her mane hung messily, sending a stripe of blue hair down the middle of her face.
“I’m sorry.” Twilight stopped a few steps away before sitting on the cold tile. “If I’d had a bit more of a heads-up, I would have had Thorax take care of you.”
“Why do you think I need someone to take care of me? I’m not a filly, Twilight.” Chrysalis groaned and fell onto her side. She kept her head propped up with a hoof. “Whatever. She did at least do what you asked and took me to feed. Even if that ended badly, too.”
Twilight’s expression softened. “Did something happen with Thorax?” she asked.
“I had a long chat with him.”
When she didn’t elaborate, Twilight prodded. “What did you talk about?”
“I . . . I don’t think it’s any of your concern. Besides, it doesn’t really matter. We were interrupted by the rest of the changelings coming to collect him for their night on the town.”
“Oh.”
“None of them were too happy to see me speaking privately with their king.” She polished her free hoof against her chestplate and inspected it. “Cadance tried to step in to help. Put an end to that real quick.”
Twilight waited until Chrysalis looked away to inch forward. “Did you get to feed?”
“Yeah. I should be good for another day or two.”
A little bit closer. “What did you do the rest of the day?”
“Sat in here, bored out of my mind.”
“That’s unfortunate.”
Just a smidge longer. Twilight had to chew her lip to keep from laughing.
“What about you? How did your . . . whatever you were doing end up?” She glanced up in time to notice Twilight now less than a step from the edge of her bed. She narrowed her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“This.” Twilight dove forward, throwing her hooves around Chrysalis and squeezing her.
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Chrysalis said, trying in vain to pry Twilight off her.
“You seem like you need a hug.”
“Don’t make me hurt you,” Chrysalis murmured.
Despite the threat, Twilight didn’t feel afraid. Still, she released Chrysalis and stepped back. “I’m sorry that today went so badly for you. I’m sure tomorrow will be better, though.”
“Speaking of tomorrow . . .” Chrysalis returned to her lounging, but didn’t take her eye off Twilight. “You didn’t answer my question. What stupid thing are they making you do?”
“It’s not stupid,” Twilight said, crossing her forearms over her chest. “I’m going to be presiding over Celestia’s Solar Court. It’s one of the highest authorities in Equestria. No pressure or anything.”
“Sounds boring.”
“Boring is the least of my worries.” Twilight stretched out across the floor, her wings flexing of their own accord. “But I’m on break right now. I’d prefer to talk about something else. I don’t want to think about tomorrow.”
“Is that fear I smell?” Chrysalis asked, her smile parting her lips just enough to see her tongue run across her fangs. “Ahh, I’ve missed that.”
“Changing the subject!” Twilight said, holding her hooves over her ears. “You said that your changelings weren’t happy to see you? What about Thorax? He wasn’t angry at you, was he?”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “No. He wasn’t. But that didn’t stop Pharynx from cutting our meeting short.” She rolled onto her back and spread out across the bed. “Honestly, if Thorax would just forget this fascination he has with me, it will make it easier for everyone.”
“How do you figure?” Twilight asked, shifting her weight to make herself comfortable.
“He should be taking care of his subjects. Not here . . .” She waved her hoof absentmindedly. “Doing whatever he’s doing here.”
“Keeping you alive?” Twilight suggested.
“Yeah. He should stop that.”
“I thought we were over this. Maybe you don’t agree, but Thorax and I won’t--”
“Shut up a second, Twilight.” Twilight frowned, but complied. “I’m not talking about leaving me to die. Well, maybe I am. The point is, if he leaves and I can’t find a way to feed myself within a few days, then I don’t deserve to live. Survival of the Fittest, Twilight. I should earn my right to live.”
“That’s a sad way of looking at things, don’t you think?” Twilight asked, tilting her head.
“Sad or not, it’s a realistic way of looking at things.” Chrysalis closed her eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” In the silence, Twilight finally noticed the crackle of fire. She glanced over at the hearth to see a raging fire. Behind the popping flames, she could hear the rush of wind outside. “You said you wanted to leave, right?”
“I did.” Her voice stayed monotone.
“Do you still want to leave?” Twilight asked, rolling onto her back to join Chrysalis in watching the ceiling.
“What makes you think something would have changed in the time you were gone?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Maybe you were thinking about it.”
“I wasn’t.”
“If . . .” Twilight sat up and glanced toward Chrysalis. “If you’re worried because you don’t have anywhere to go . . . you could stay with me.”
“Didn’t we discuss this? I don’t share your love. Why is it so difficult for you to understand that?” Chrysalis took a shuddering breath.
“And I told you that I won’t push you on that. I live in a giant castle with a bunch of my friends. There would be space for you to stay there, too.” Twilight flopped back down. “And I’m sure you could find someone in Ponyville that you’d get along with.”
“I don’t want friends, Twilight.”
“Why?” Twilight’s shoulders slumped. “Why are you so against having friends?”
“Because it’s a mistake that I’ve made before.”
It took Twilight a full minute to work up the nerve to speak. “What happened?”
Chrysalis pulled herself to the opposite side of her bed, away from Twilight. She didn’t speak, but Twilight could hear her heavy breathing, as though she were barely holding it together. Twilight thought to ask again, but decided against it. This wasn’t her place to pry. Chrysalis would have to choose the proper time and place.
Twilight spent the rest of her break lying on the floor, listening to Chrysalis with her eyes closed. Her silent contemplation was interrupted by a clock chime.
“Well, that’s my cue,” Twilight said, scrambling up off the floor and stretching her aching limbs. “Goodnight, Chrysalis.” No response. Her breathing had settled. Twilight guessed she’d fallen asleep. “I hope tomorrow is a better day for the both of us.” With a weary smile, she left to return to her work.
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It's going to be wild when Chrysalis reaches self actualization and accepts her feelings while not letting her past haunt her. Her past trauma really feels like the last major hurdle for her. But her trauma is like a tiny wall trying to hold back an avalanche. Once that is no longer a barrier she'll have to figure out how she will even act around others.
*rolled up parchment scroll*
no, bad author, no jumping between tenses like that!
11805448
you have never read the original did you?
11805451
I read part of it. Don't spoil anything.
11805441
I don't and you write well enough that i bother reporting errors that i do find.
If i did not think the story was worth it, i would not bother you with these comments.
11805449
Blame Chrysalis. It's her dialogue.
Gah! Another cliffhanger! Do you do this on purpose!!! (Either way, loving it so far)
11805604
I’ll be honest,I kinda just put out whatever I got ready to go. Plus, I gotta try and draw it out a bit. I’m not writing any fanfics right now, so I’ve got to stretch out the ones I’m posting so there isn’t so much blanks space in what I post.
11805646
Will we get a Sequel?
11805811
Eventually. I’ve got a few chapters of LoaQ done. But I’m working on an original story, which will take some time, then I have to work on Ashes, so it might be a while.
“You seem like you need a hug.”
“Don’t make me hurt you,” Chrysalis murmured.
D'aww, they're so cute