66: A Pyrrhic Victory
The lights above flickered on with a click, causing Twilight to whine and recoil at the sudden brightness. The sound of hoofsteps drew her attention over to the door, where Cadance was standing in the doorway, a bouquet of flowers floating beside her.
“Oh?” Her cheeks glowed pink. “Sorry, Twilight, I didn’t realize you were in here.”
“It’s fine.” Twilight blinked a few times, waiting for her eyes to adjust. She watched Cadance walk around the room, taking her place on the other side of Celestia’s hospital bed.
“So, how is she?”
“She’s doing well,” Twilight said, resting her head on the bed rail. “Doctor Heart’s been running tests all week. Says everything’s going to be okay. He says that, with any luck, he thinks she’ll be awake by the end of the day.”
“Really?” Cadance arched her brow. “That’s . . . that’s amazing.”
“Yeah,” Twilight tacitly agreed.
Cadance pulled the dying flowers out of the vase near the bed, replacing them with her new bouquet. “You know, they should be discharging Shining Armor soon. I told the nurses just to bring him here. Is that okay with you?”
Twilight glanced up at Cadance. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Cadance opened her mouth, but all that came out at first was a long sigh. “He still doesn’t know what happened. And I imagine that he’ll have some strong opinions about Chrysalis now that everything’s over. And I know you probably don’t want to–”
“Cadance,” Twilight interrupted. The older princess stopped what she was doing and turned toward her. “You don’t have to tiptoe around me like this. It’s been a week. I’ve . . .” She took a deep breath. “I’m alright.”
Cadance offered a sympathetic smile as she came around to put her hooves around Twilight. “I’m really sorry, Twilight.”
“It’s . . . It’s what she wanted. It was her choice,” Twilight said, reciprocating Cadance’s hug. They held on to one another for almost a minute before Cadance let go.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t make it easier.”
Twilight leaned against Celestia’s bed. She watched the princess’ chest rise and fall with each breath. Her color had returned, and she seemed to be growing stronger with each passing day. Cadance opened the blinds, letting some of the afternoon sunlight filter in. The rays caught Celestia’s mane, causing it to shimmer like gemstones.
“It looks like the castle repairs are going well,” Cadance said.
Twilight followed Cadance’s line of sight up to the castle. From here, they could see Celestia’s room. Pegasus construction crews were swarming around it like bees around a beehive. They had orders to patch the walls, replace the windows, and clean up the debris. After only a week’s time, the castle looked completely normal from the outside.
They were interrupted when the door opened again.
This time, it was one of the nurses from outside. She poked her head in, asking “Princess Cadance? Would you like me to bring him in?”
“Yes, please.” Cadance smiled.
The nurse disappeared back outside for half a second before returning with a wheelchair bearing Shining Armor. He wore a set of bandages wrapped over a dozen times around his chest. One of his forelegs was tucked into a sling. Despite his injuries, he wore an embarrassed smile.
“Afternoon, Ladies,” he announced as the nurse rolled him into the middle of the room.
“Thank you, Nurse. That will be all for now.”
The nurse nodded, adjusted her hat, and exited.
“How are you feeling?” Cadance asked, hurrying to her husband’s side.
“I’m alright,” he chuckled. “I would have walked if they let me, but apparently this is hospital policy.” He rolled his eyes. “Probably for the best. At least now I get some time off from work.”
Cadance giggled. “You definitely deserve some rest.”
He looked toward Celestia, but noticed Twilight instead. “Twily?”
“Hey, Shiny.” Twilight waved. She seemed to shrink away under his glare.
“Didn’t your train leave a few hours ago?” Shining asked, tilting his head to the side.
Twilight’s blushed. “I may or may not have changed up my schedule.”
“Does Luna know?”
Twilight’s smile grew wider. She expected a reprimand, but instead, Shining just laughed. “You wanted to be here when Celestia woke up, right?” Twilight nodded. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”
“Thanks, Shiny.”
“Besides, I wanted to check up on you. Saves me a trip.” His horn lit up as he moved his chair by magic. He rolled up to sit beside Twilight. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m alright,” Twilight said. She moved to embrace her brother, but with his injuries in the way, she instead decided to just hold his shoulder instead. “It all feels kind of surreal that this is all over.”
“Did you have Doctor Heart check you?”
Twilight leaned back in her seat. “I told you, I’m fine.”
“What about Chrysalis’ venom? You’re not still feeling any of the effects of it, are you?” Twilight hesitantly shook her head. “What about her magic? Are you still feeling that? Any . . . calls to go running into the night to join her?”
Twilight bit her tongue. “Nope. Nothing like that.”
“Good.” Shining blew a sigh of relief. “Let me know if something like that happens. And you might want to be prepared for some nightmares. That’s what happened when I escaped her.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Twilight gave a half-hearted smile.
“And don’t you worry about Chrysalis, either. Once I’m back on my feet, I won’t rest until I track her down. I’ll make her pay for what she did to you and Celestia. I promise.” Shining grabbed his sister’s hoof. “She won’t get away with this.”
“No. She won’t,” Twilight agreed, feeling a lump form in her throat.
If Shining noticed, he didn’t say anything.
They sat in silence as the hours ticked by. Shining kept trying to climb out of his chair, only to be stopped by a sideways glance from his wife. Cadance kept quiet, save for the occasional crinkle of paper as she turned each page of her book. Twilight closed her eyes and leaned back. She’d slept through the night and most of the morning, but her eyelids still felt heavy.
“Twilight?” Cadance called in her singsong voice.
When Twilight opened her eyes again, nighttime had already set in. Cadance smiled at her from across Celestia’s bed. “Your brother is hungry, so I’m going to take him down to the cafeteria before they close. Do you want us to bring you anything? My treat.”
Twilight scratched the back of her neck. She didn’t have much of an appetite, but she would need to eat something sooner or later. “Sure. I’m fine with a salad. Shining knows what I like on them.”
“And I wouldn’t mind something sweet, if it isn’t too much trouble.”
Twilight and Cadance snapped around fast enough that Twilight nearly toppled her chair. Celestia stared back at them through half-lidded eyes.
“Celestia!” Twilight jumped out of her seat, sending it skittering backwards. Cadance sped to Celestia’s other side. Shining rolled himself up to the foot of her bed. All four ponies spent a second or two staring at one another before erupting in a teary-eyed cheer.
“Well, I’m beginning to think I might have missed something important,” Celestia joked as the other two alicorns threw their hooves around her.
“We were so worried about you!” Cadance cried, squeezing her aunt in a trembling embrace. Twilight waited for her to finish before taking her turn. Shining waved to her from his seat.
“What happened to you, Shining Armor?” Celestia asked, starting to lean forward. Twilight and Cadance reached out to help her, but she appeared able-bodied enough to sit up on her own.
“Forget what happened to him, what happened to you?” Cadance asked, holding her auntie's shoulder. “You should not be sitting up and moving around yet. Doctor Heart wasn’t sure you’d be able to.”
“Oh.” Celestia allowed Cadance to lay her back down and adjust her pillows. “If you say so. I feel quite fine, actually,” Celestia explained.
Cadance looked to Twilight, who cleared her throat before speaking. “Princess Celestia, do you have any idea what happened?” She took Celestia’s hoof in her own. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
I remember . . .” Celestia closed her eyes. “Sand. And Chrysalis.” She opened her eyes again. “I tried to help her and she lashed out at me.”
“Yeah.” Twilight nodded. “That was a few weeks ago.”
“Oh. I’ve been sleeping for a while, then?”
“You must be starving. How about Shining and I go see if we can find you something sweet. And while we’re gone, Twilight can stay here and fill you in on recent events.” Cadance’s suggestion earned her a sideways glance from Shining, but no objections from anypony. “Does that sound like something you can do, Twilight?”
To anypony outside the loop, that question might have been a little patronizing, but Twilight appreciated her sister-in-law’s considerations. She handed Twilight the freedom to tell whatever version of the story she wished, free from judgment.
“I understand.” Twilight said.
“Good.” Cadance gave her a soft smile. “We’ll be back in a bit.”
She wheeled Shining out of the room. Once the door closed, Twilight and Celestia could speak freely.
Twilight explained the best she could. She started with finding Celestia and Chrysalis unconscious in the changeling hive, continued on to her experiments with a cure, to an invasion of the castle from some strange monsters, and finally ending with Chrysalis’ attack and subsequent escape from Canterlot. She was careful to leave out any details about her relationship with the Changeling Queen.
Celestia watched with rapt attention, but without any hint of emotion.
When Twilight finished, Celestia nodded.
“I see. I’m sorry for making you worry so much about me.” Celestia faced out the window. “And all for a pony that took advantage of your kindness. I apologize, Twilight. It seems I misjudged Chrysalis. It’s such a shame. I really thought that we might be able to help her. But instead, it would seem that I endangered all of Equestria. I suppose history will remember her as nothing but a villain.”
Twilight wrung her hooves in her lap. “It would seem so.”
“Unless . . .” As Celestia spoke, a shiver coursed through Twilight. Her muscles tensed, freezing her in place.
“Unless what?” Twilight asked, trying and failing to keep her voice from shaking.
“Unless you’re neglecting to tell me something.” Celestia reached out and took Twilight’s chin, tilting her head upward until their eyes met. “Is there anything else I should know?”
Twilight felt her pulse rise as she withered under Celestia’s glare. She felt like a child, wriggling under her mother’s unyielding gaze. After a few seconds, Twilight finally cracked. “I wasn’t sure I should tell you.”
“You should,” Celestia said, her features softening.
“I . . . I’m not sure where to start.” Twilight looked down at the floor. “The version I told you is the official story. It’s what all of Equestria believes happened. But . . . But it’s not the truth.”
“Tell me?” Even after calling Twilight lying, Celestia still phrased it as a question.
Twilight swallowed hard. “Something . . . happened. I tried to be upset with Chrysalis for everything she did. To you. To Shining. To Cadance. But the more time I spent with her, the more I started to like her. She’s . . . she’s not so bad once you get to know her.”
“You cared for her?” Celestia still wore no judgment on her face.
“I did.” Twilight sighed. “But how did you know that I was lying?”
“I had a nightmare about it,” Celestia said. “I was among you when you were taken by the Nightmare. I saw Chrysalis and you battle against it. And I saw Chrysalis save both you and Luna.” Celestia paused.
“The Nightmare.” Twilight nodded. “I remember Chrysalis saying something about that, too.” Twilight sniffled. “And from that point on, I . . . I started to feel something for her. Something I’d never felt before. I think . . . I think I might have started to love her. Shining thinks it was just her magic playing tricks on me, but . . . I know it was more than that. She told me stories, she kept me safe, and she really seemed like she was starting to open up to me.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What makes you so sure it wasn’t her magic?”
“I don’t know.” Twilight frowned. “When I returned from . . . What did you call it? The Nightmare? After that, something in me had changed. My memories of it started to grow hazy. Now, I can’t even picture that creature’s face, let alone my dreams from before it.” She tilted her head slightly. “But I remember how I felt. Whatever happened in my dream, I fell in love with Chrysalis. Something beyond just a little schoolyard crush.” Twilight’s eyes fluttered close. “I felt like I’d known her for so long. And that I couldn’t stand being away from her.”
“Luna told me something interesting once,” Celestia interjected. “She told me that it’s rare for ponies to remember their dreams after waking. They might remember a piece here and there, but will never be able to make sense of the whole picture again.”
“If that’s true, doesn’t that make her job as a dream guardian sort of . . . unnecessary? I mean, if that pony won’t remember it anyways . . .” Twilight said, shrugging.
Celestia laughed. “I asked her the same question.”
Twilight turned her head to the side. “And what did she say?”
“That even if they don’t remember the dream, it doesn’t mean they didn’t experience it. They’ll still recall faint echoes of their emotions. The fear from some nightmare monster, the panic of showing up to class without their assignment, or they might even begin to feel for a pony they dreamt of.”
“I guess I never thought of it that way.”
“I may not have seen everything that happened while I was out, but I saw enough to believe that you’re right. And if you have faith in Chrysalis, then I do as well,” Celestia said, finally letting go of Twilight’s cheek.
Freed, Twilight sank back down in her chair. “It doesn’t matter, though.”
“Oh?” Celestia frowned. “Why do you say that?”
“Chrysalis . . .” Twilight choked down a sob. “Chrysalis sacrificed herself to cast the spell that would save your life.”
“She . . .” Celestia’s rainbow mane dulled slightly. “She did?”
“She asked me if I wanted her to save you. She told me that it would kill her. But I told her it was too risky. That she should use her time to escape instead.” Twilight’s eyes widened as realization struck. “I . . . I was going to let you die.”
Celestia said nothing.
Twilight stood and stepped away. “I was going to let you die. What is wrong with me? I told her to leave, told her to run.” Twilight wiped furiously at her eyes, soaking the back of her forelegs. “I’m so sorry, Celestia.”
“Twilight, calm yourself. Take a deep breath.”
Twilight tried, but only managed to cough a few times. “I’m sorry, Celestia, I–”
“There is nothing to be sorry about, Twilight.” Celestia’s warm magic touched Twilight’s shoulder. “I just want you to tell me why you chose her.”
“I figured it was the logical choice,” Twilight explained. “She told me that the spell might not have worked. If it had failed, she would have died regardless after taking half of the castle with her.” Twilight pressed her hooves into her eyes. “At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. If you’re asking for the truth . . . I don’t know. I didn’t want to lose you. But I couldn’t bear to lose her, too. I just . . . I panicked.” She hung her head, ashamed.
“Look at me,” Celestia cooed.
Twilight refused.
“Twilight, look at me.”
“I’m sorry,” Twilight repeated.
She heard the ruffle of bedsheets. Before she could turn to see what had caused it, Celestia descended upon her, wrapping her wings around her and capturing her in an angelic embrace. She used one of her feathers to wipe away Twilight’s tears.
“I’m not upset, Twilight. You made the choice you believed was right. And it’s the same one I would have made.” Celestia smiled warmly. “I’ve lived a good life, Twilight. I’m not afraid to go.”
“Cadance told me . . .” Twilight wiped her nose. “She told me the same thing. That you used to try and prepare her to rule in case something happened to you.”
“She’s right.” Celestia laughed and put her hooves around Twilight. “Someday, Twilight, I will die. Such is the fate of all things. And when that day comes, I will not shy away from it.” Her smile faded just a little. “But in the end, Chrysalis made the choice she believed to be right, too.”
“I know.” Twilight buried her face in Celestia’s fur. “I just miss her. It hurts.”
“You don’t need to hide that pain from me, Twilight. I understand.”
And finally, Twilight stopped hiding it. She threw herself against Celestia, wailing. And she cried until her throat hurt, until her eyes stung, until she could no longer breathe between sobs. And through it all, Celestia stood, unwavering, cradling Twilight.
The tears eventually stopped. Twilight dried her eyes and slipped from Celestia’s embrace. “Thanks. I . . . I feel a little better now.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“I do have a really bad headache now, though.”
Celestia laughed. Despite her red-rimmed eyes and sore throat, Twilight also managed to crack a smile, if only for a moment.
Then the door slammed open.
“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna roared, crashing through the door with three of her guards in tow. “Do you understand how upset with you I am–” The booming echoes of Luna’s voice faded, plunging the room into silence.
“L-Luna?” Twilight shook herself. “I can explain.”
“Celestia?” Luna inched forward, reaching her hoof out toward her sister as though she were some far off hallucination. Celestia took her hoof and pressed it to her cheek.
“Good evening, Sister.”
Luna let her mouth hang open, stammering as she searched for something to say.
After a few moments, she settled on, “You overslept.”
Celestia laughed and stepped forward, leaning in to hold her little sister. “It’s good to see you, too, Luna.”
“I . . .” Luna glanced back over her shoulder, at the entourage of guards behind her. Noticing their stares, she cleared her throat and stepped back. “I am glad to see you’re alright.” Her eyes snapped to her original target. “But you . . . I am not as happy to see you here.”
“W-wait, Luna, I can explain,” Twilight said, backing up.
“You were supposed to be on a train over six hours ago. All of Ponyville is in a panic trying to figure out where you have been after you didn’t arrive on your train.”
Twilight paled. “Oops.”
“Sister,” Celestia interrupted, stepping between them. “She just wanted to stay and make sure I was alright. Surely you can’t fault her for that?”
Luna groaned. “No. But the last train leaves in an hour. And Twilight needs to be on it. Am I understood, Twilight?”
“Of course, Princess.”
“What’s the rush?” Celestia asked.
“Things have . . . grown troublesome while you were sleeping. Has Twilight filled you in on what you missed?” Luna asked.
“Every detail,” Celestia answered.
“Every?” Luna looked to Twilight, who nodded in agreement. “Well. Things have only broken down further since Chrysalis ‘escaped’. The nobles are in an uproar,” Luna explained. “And things grow more hectic by the day.”
“Exactly how upset are the nobles?” Celestia asked.
“Extremely. And they’re starting to spread hatred for the changelings. I need Twilight back in Ponyville to get ahead of this thing. If we want to avoid a conflict, we need to get things back to normal as soon as possible.” Luna cleared her throat. “Sorry, Twilight. I truly wish you could stay for Celestia’s recovery. But we are still princesses. We still have a job to do.”
“Right.” Twilight nodded. “I’m at least glad that I was here to see Celestia wake. Well, if I’m going to catch that last train, I suppose I’d better head over to Canterlot Boutique, then. Rarity was waiting for me there.”
With one last goodbye to Celestia and Luna, Twilight left, heading for the cafeteria. There, she found Cadance and Shining, eating. After explaining that she had a train to catch, she said her goodbyes and well-wishes.
Outside, she hailed a cab. This late at night, the streets were clear. As Twilight rode in silence, she watched out the window at the stores that rolled by. She watched a few late-nighters roaming the streets, sitting in bars and going for romantic strolls under the stars. If she didn’t know better, Twilight would have thought the world was at peace. In the back of her mind, though, she knew it would be years before any semblance of normality returned.
The cab stopped outside Canterlot Boutique. Twilight asked the driver to wait, that she would be back in a moment. She knocked on the front door, drawing Rarity out from the back rooms. She was already dressed for traveling, with gemstone-studded boots, a purple silk scarf, and a nicely styled mane.
“I was wondering when you’d be by,” Rarity said, unlocking the door and allowing Twilight inside. “I’ve got your luggage in the back.”
“Good.” Twilight pointed outside. “Do you want to stay with the cab? I’ll load up everything.”
Rarity agreed and went outside. The door shut before Twilight could hear what she said to their driver. Eager to get home, Twilight hurried into the back rooms. Sure enough, her luggage was stacked just inside. Rarity’s pile, almost twice as large as her own, sat beside it.
With a flick of her horn, Twilight retrieved her saddlebags and laid them over her. Once the straps were secure, she started moving the bags. One by one, they floated out towards the door. In the short time the others were talking, Rarity had somehow convinced the cabbie to load the bags into the back for her.
It took a few minutes to get everything loaded up. And once they were done, Twilight and Rarity climbed back into the coach.
“The Canterlot Train Station, if you wouldn’t mind, darling,” Rarity called out the window. Twilight could barely see the driver tip his hat to her. She leaned back inside and settled into the cushioned seat. “So, how was Celestia?”
“She’s awake now.”
“Good. I know the Doctor said her condition was improving, but I was still a little worried.”
“Thanks for waiting for me, by the way.”
“Oh, it’s no bother, Twilight. I had a few things I needed to take care of around the boutique. I even got to stay open a little later than usual.” Rarity sighed and leaned back. “You meet all sorts of ponies after the sun goes down.”
Their coach pulled up to the curb beside the train station. Rarity climbed out first, stretching her legs as she hopped up the stairs to the station. Twilight went around front to find the driver. “Thanks. Here’s your payment.” She offered him the bag of coins, which he loaded into a trunk on the front of the coach.
“My pleasure. You ladies need any help loading up your bags?”
“Thanks, but I’ve got it,” Twilight said.
One by one, she levitated their luggage out of the carriage and loaded them onto the curb. With a final nod, the driver pulled away, looking for another customer. With her magic, Twilight carried the bags up onto the platform. A train was already waiting. From what she could see through the windows, every car looked abandoned. Even the workers seemed to be running on a skeleton crew.
“Princess Twilight?” The stallion in the ticket booth nearly fell out of his chair.
“Evening. Sorry for the late arrival.”
“No, it’s no problem at all, Princess.” He stood and straightened his uniform. “Would you like some help loading your bags?”
Twilight had a headache. The magic wasn’t helping.
“Yes, please.” She snuck a few coins out of her bag and slid them through the slot. “I also need two tickets to Ponyville, please.”
After a moment’s hesitation, the worker took the coins and handed her the tickets in return. He disappeared through the back door and reappeared around the side. He whistled, summoning a few other uniformed workers and ordering them to load the princess’ bags.
“If I weren’t your friend, I might be jealous,” Rarity whispered.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Except when I do it, it’s not because of my charm.”
“I don’t know what you mean, darling. Being a princess is just the cherry on top.”
Twilight and Rarity watched the bag pile shrink. After a matter of minutes, the worker loaded the last bag onto the train. He stepped aside, holding the door open for Twilight and Rarity to step inside.
Rarity flashed him a sly smile as she ducked inside, while Twilight settled for thanking him. She watched him cross the empty platform back to his booth. And as did, so noticed another pony standing back on the curb where the cab had dropped them off. He looked to be a stallion, but was covered in a dark cloak. Twilight felt a twinge of concern, but ignored it.
“Well, where do you want to sit?” Rarity asked, motioning to the empty car.
“Anywhere’s fine,” Twilight said.
Rarity led her to one of the seats. The fashionista slid in first, sliding right up to the window. Twilight took the seat beside her.
“Sad to be leaving so soon?” Rarity asked, fixing her scarf.
“A little. I’ll be glad to be back home, though.”
Rarity hesitated. “And, how are you feeling about everything?”
Twilight leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I just want to get home. The sooner things get back to normal, the sooner I’ll feel better.”
“I’m sorry things ended this way, Twilight.”
“There was nothing to be done.” Twilight sat back up as the train’s whistle rang out into the night. The train car shifted as the wheels started to turn. “Hey, Rarity, I think I’m going to head back into the sleeper car. I’m feeling a little worn down.”
“Of course, Twilight. Sleep well. I’ll be here if you need something.”
Twilight turned to leave as the train pulled away from the station. On the platform, the cloaked pony was still standing by the street. Twilight’s unease returned as the pony reached up and pulled down his hood.
And Twilight’s stomach dropped.
The stallion’s silver hair shimmered under the lamps. His sky-blue fur billowed in the night air. And he was staring right at her.
“Blue?” Twilight muttered. She wanted to run to the window for a closer look, but her legs were bolted in place.
“Twilight?”
Twilight hollered as a hoof touched her shoulder. She spun around to see Rarity standing beside her, her hoof recoiled in fear. Twilight turned back to the train platform. But the stallion was already gone.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just . . . you’re looking a little pale. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“No. I mean, yes.” Twilight took a deep breath. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Like I said, I’m just overly-tired. I’ll be fine once I get some sleep.”
“Okay.” Rarity frowned. “Just remember what I said. If you want to talk . . .”
“I know. Thanks, Rarity.”
Rarity walked back to her seat. Silently, Twilight turned and started toward the sleeper car. She made it only a single step before she stopped. She turned around. “Actually, Rarity, can I ask you something?”
Rarity twisted around and put her hooves over the back of her seat. “Of course, darling. What’s the matter?”
Twilight watched the trees whip by out the window. She could still see the lights of Canterlot in the distance. The castle had a few lights on, allowing her to see the construction crews hard at work, even this late into the night.
“After everything that’s happened these last few weeks,” Twilight began. “I’ve been wondering a few things.” She closed her eyes. The scar on her neck started to itch. “Do you think this is a happy ending?”
“A . . . Happy ending?” Rarity asked, biting her lip.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know. Do you think it is?”
Twilight smiled. “I think so.”
“Well that’s . . . good,” Rarity said, nodding slowly.
“I know it’s a strange question. I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, Darling, I’m just not sure it was a good answer.”
“Well, I guess I’m going to head to bed now.”
“Okay, Dear.” Rarity fixed a piece of mane that had fallen out of place. “Sleep well. We’ll be home by morning.”
“Right.”
Twilight opened the car door and stepped into the dark.
Rarity was right. She’d be home in the morning, just in time to see the sunrise.
She loved watching the sunrise.
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You know, I couldn't say I like this version any more or less than the old one, it's been so long since I read it that I've forgotten a lot of details. But the feeling your characters have this time around, did force a few feels from me too! I'd consider that a sucess.
I definitely noticed the more polished writing style too! I won't beg for the return of the sequel, but hope for it all the same. Was great reading their story again.
11870954
I actually was working on the sequel. Got a few chapters in, too.
However, like Ashes, that one is also on hold while I work on some non-fanfic pieces.
I appreciate you took the time to read this. Glad I could get a few feels from you.
This was nice.
Thank you.
I liked this version much better than the previous one. Although the characters of Chrysalis and Twilight were the same, the supporting characters were much better writen. Good job!
11871057
You're welcome.
Thanks for taking the time to read it!
11871073
Thanks.
Yeah, I was able to fix a lot more in this version. Perks of having a sort of rough-draft to work off of, I guess.
All the feedback on the original helped, too.
I really appreciate those "accidentally chapter releases". I lved every bit of the story. See you at the sequel!
11871084
i liked the original, and from what i remember, this is just as good, if not better.
I’m sure this has probably been asked 100 times already but is the sequel still cannon and in-line with this new version? I saw you were thinking about giving it the same overhaul treatment and I don’t know if I should wait till then to read it
11871185
The sequel that exists now will probably be removed, since it was never finished. However, it will likely be a while before the new sequel makes any progress, since I’m working on original works for now.
Man, I hate bittersweet endings. They always leave me wishing things had gone just a little differently, but hey, you can't really telegraph that harder than titleing your story "death of a queen" now can you? I genuinely cried over these last few chapters, well done. These have been some of my favourite Chrysalises and Twilights I've read.
I've been keeping up with this story since you've released the old draft and have loving the new version so much more with every chapter that you had released over the year or two, and I will certainly be looking forward to your work on the sequel :). Gotta say this is one of the best chrysalis story's I've read and kept up with as of recently
11873189
I appreciate the praise. Yeah, I was a bit worried with this rewrite. It didn’t even come close to reaching the popularity of the original, but I’m trying to imagine that isn’t really a sign of quality, so much as just . . . marketing? I guess?
Either way. Glad you enjoyed. I’ll try to get my butt back to work on the sequel.
11871926
I know it probably isn’t what you meant, but that idea brings up an interesting theme. Could the story have ended better? Possibly. But the characters made the choices that led them here. And like them, I stand by these choices, even if they weren’t the most logical or had the best outcomes.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment, though.
11873200
I feel as the poor popularity of the rewrite had nothing much to do with the quality of the story and the writing as it had to do with the marketing lol, as the story itself is better than the original. I definitely see it coming back up when ever the sequel gets released tho :3
This last chapter really sits poorly for me. And the ending in general. Twilight forgets the 30 year dream she LIVED THROUGH?! Bullshit. I won't even dignify that with a further response. Rarity felt strangely disconnected in the end. "Celestia is alive and awake!" "Oh, that's nice." Really? This just comes off sour to me. I don't even really care about Blue at the end.
Well, I made it to the end, but I only have regret.
11874176
Okay. Well, thanks for reading.
11874190
I don't like being negative like this. But some of that is on me. I should have known from the outset that this was a story and setting that would eventually upset me. I was just hoping that the story could justify it. Several times throughout the story the characters feel off. I recall mentioning it before. Rarity here should have been thrilled that Celestia was awake! Even with Equestria wanting to go after all changelings even though it was literally just Chrysalis, I don't see her ever leaving Canterlot before Celestia woke up. No one should ever have thought that would happen.
So between my unrealized wants and how some ponies felt OOC, I just got myself stewed and upset. I bet things aren't nearly as bad as I view them, but as I said, that's probably partly my fault.
11874196
I mean, a story is a story. Might not always be your cup of tea, but that’s okay.
11873201
It is somewhat close to what I meant. I felt comparing the story to a capital "t" Tragedy might have been a bit too pretentious, but the title to me read the same as the lines "two star crossed lovers take their life", from Romeo and Juliet, and "See, someone's got to tell the tale, Whether or not it turns out well, Maybe it will turn out this time" from Hadestown. Very much so the whole point of the Doomed Heroes Trope Talk by Overly Sarcastic Productions (great series btw, I highly reccomend)
11875262
So, if you’ve made it this far, I assume you got you answer about who Iris is?
11875465
Not really. Chrysalis's mom? A sister?
Twilight smiled. “I think so.”
Sorry Twilight, hard disagree. This might be the most tragic tragedy I've read. In the end, Celestia's reformation hopes for Chrysalis were dashed, Twilight is emotionally scarred by the death of her one and only lover (despite her trying to deny it), and all of Equestria has a newfound hatred for changelings.
Damn dude...just...I need a drink.
11876838
Iris is Chrysalis’ mother. A being older and more powerful than even Celestia. The progenitor of all changelings. She and Chrysalis’ sisters become bigger characters as the series goes on.
11876839
I also disagree with Twilight. To an extent, she is absolutely in denial. This wasn’t particularly happy. At the same time, it’s not particularly an ending. Perhaps I’m also a bit biased considering I, as the author, have a fairly good idea how the rest of the series plays out.
That said, give it to me straight. Did you enjoy the story?
11877162
I enjoyed it immensely up until the last three chapters when the story became a tragedy. To be honest I wasn't really in a good headspace for a tragedy and would have likely avoided this one for now if it were tagged as a tragedy. But it wasn't so I was expecting a somewhat good ending at least.
I might read the sequel when it releases, we'll see.
Don't usually leave comments but I just wanted to give a thank you for writing, or rather rewriting this story. I started reading when you first began the v1 of this story and I have to say I loved all the versions but I can definitely see the improvement in this version. Hope I get to see a sequel even if it takes years but even if not, thank you again for taking the time to rewrite this story. I may be a sucker for redemption stories but Death-of-a-queen is and will remain one of my all-time favorites on this site.
11892877
That's pretty high praise. Thanks. And yes, a sequel is on the list of projects I’ve got to work on. Glad you enjoyed!