Death of a Queen, V2.

by Arkane12

5: The Cost of a Soul

Back when Equestria had been nothing more to her than a name on a map, Chrysalis had enjoyed watching the sun rise. Every morning, either on her own or through the mind of one of her drones, she watched the first few streaks of pink split the night sky. Something about the time appealed to her. The cold shadows of the night had not entirely faded, yet the sun’s rays brought a nostalgic warmth with them. Perhaps she simply enjoyed the way each morning felt like a new beginning, the day before little more than a memory now.

Now, as she watched dawn approach through the glass of her hospital window, that innocent hope never appeared.

“I’m sorry, Twilight. I can’t help you.” Thorax sat a few feet from the edge of Chrysalis’ bed, close enough for comfort, but still outside her restricted range. The fresh bruise staining his muzzle was evidence enough for that.

“Please, Thorax, there must be something you can tell me. Anything,” Twilight begged.

Thorax shook his head.

“I would if I could, but I’ve never seen magic like this, Twilight.”

“What about the other changelings?” Twilight pleaded. “Some of them must have been close enough to Chrysalis to have seen something like this?”

“I’ve already tried to contact the other changelings back at the hive. None of them know anything about this either. They’re as lost as we are.” Thorax finally glanced up from his former queen to the princess beside him.

Twilight hopped out of her chair. “Then what about books? Some of your books might give me a good starting point.”

Thorax scratched his cheek. “Sorry, but we don’t write books, Twilight. Whatever information we need is kept in the hivemind. The only books we have are to help us learn about other cultures so we can blend in. We don’t even use those that often.”

Twilight slunk to the floor, groaning in frustration. To Chrysalis, it felt a little cathartic to see the know-it-all princess hit wall after wall in her research. Or maybe, she was just happy that somepony else seemed to be struggling just as much as she was herself.

“Wait.” Twilight launched herself back up to her hooves, stopping only inches from Thorax’s face. “The hivemind. Can you try to retrieve Chrysalis’ memory of the spell?”

Thorax leaned away from Twilight. “It’s not that simple, Twilight.” With a sour expression, he turned to Chrysalis in her bed..

“Go ahead and tell her,” Chrysalis commanded. “Tell her what you and the rest of my ungrateful little grubs did.”

Thorax fidgeted. Though it had been months since she ruled the hive, Chrysalis could still sense him fighting his instincts to obey her. Despite his metaphorical crown, she could still see the little grub from so many years ago: the same grub that had pawed at her, vying for her attention whenever she tried to do her work. She almost found it nostalgic. Princess Twilight gawked at them both, anxious for any new information they might provide.

“We can’t . . . we can’t see Chrysalis in our hive mind.” He spoke her name as though it was a foreign language.

“Because she’s the queen?” Twilight asked, visibly deflating.

“Because they can’t be a part of the hivemind if they’re no longer part of the hive.” Chrysalis held her head high in unfounded pride.

“We didn’t abandon you.” Thorax said, sounding larger than he really was. “This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. I never meant to force you out.” He refused to meet her eyes. “I would never abandon you. You know that. Don’t you?”

His words sounded genuine, but Chrysalis just rolled her eyes. “And that’s why you’ll never be a true king, Thorax.”

The changeling leaned back in his chair, letting his crown hang low atop his head.

“That’s not fair. Thorax has done a great job leading the new changelings.” Twilight said, stepping between them.

“Oh, spare me, pony,” Chrysalis barked. A short silence settled across the room. Thorax studied his hooves, occasionally polishing one of them. And Twilight dropped back into her chair, burying her head in her hooves. Chrysalis finally asked the question bubbling in her head. “Why are you still here, Thorax? You and your siblings made it very clear how you feel about me.”

“You could come back, Chrysalis. Rejoin the hive.”

She scoffed. “Right. I’ll ask again. Why are you still here, Thorax?”

“It would be just like old times.”

“Why are you still here, Thorax?”

Chrysalis rocketed upright, causing the others to recoil. Twilight offered sympathetic glances toward her friend even as she took a step back. Thorax stammered wordlessly, something Chrysalis hadn’t seen him do since his youth.

“Why are you still here, Thorax?” There was no rage this time, no animosity. She spoke remorsefully, like a mother forced to scold her teary-eyed child.

“I don’t want you to die.” Thorax finally choked out.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have left in the first place.” A frown tugged at Chrysalis’ cheek as she saw Thorax wince. “Besides, we both know the rules. You might have forgotten about me, but I know you haven’t forgotten about those.”

“The rules are stupid.”

“They’ll keep you alive.”

“We don’t need to live like that anymore.”

“You don’t need to.”

“We can teach you.”

“Thorax!” Chrysalis slammed her hooves down in her bed. As she spoke she stared Thorax down. “You will obey my commands. Leave.”

“You’re not the queen anymore,” he shouted, as though the words burned as he said them. “You don’t get to order me around.”

Chrysalis didn’t argue. Instead, she let herself rest against her freshly fluffed pillow. She closed her eyes. Likewise, Thorax let himself fall back in his seat, defeated. Twilight bit her tongue, glancing back and forth. Chrysalis could taste the confusion swirling around her as she tried to make sense of the situation.

* * *

“You should head up to the castle and get some rest. Luna told me she’d set aside a guest room for you and your emissaries.” Twilight put a hoof on Thorax’s shoulder. It had been four hours since Chrysalis and he had their discussion. Neither changeling had spoken since.

“Huh?” Thorax blinked; his train of thought derailed.

“It’s been a long day. You should rest.” She repeated.

“You’re right.” He didn’t sound like he believed it, but he rose from his chair regardless. “Luna told us about that. Pharynx has been waiting up there all day, probably.” He gave an unconvincing chuckle.

“Do you guys have everything you need? You do have a way to feed, right?”

Thorax grinned. “Don’t worry, Princess, we can take care of ourselves.” He turned to Chrysalis. She turned as far as she could to avoid his gaze. “I’ll be back tomorrow to feed you again.”

“Don’t bother. I’ll probably have escaped by then,” Chrysalis muttered.

“If you plan on breaking out, then you’ll need my help. After all, Doctor Heart told me about your leg. You’ll never escape if it doesn’t heal. And it’ll never heal if you don’t have the energy for it. Besides, I’ve got plenty of love to spare.” He paused. “I really hope you know that.”

Chrysalis didn’t answer.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, Twilight. Will you be leaving too?” Thorax asked.

Twilight smiled weakly. “I think I’ll stay a little longer.”

“Right. Well, if you need anything from me, or even if you just want to talk, I’m just down the hall. I might not know how to help you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try.” With a nod to her and a longing look to Chrysalis, he left.

Twilight flipped the switch beside the door, killing the lights and silencing their electric hum. The sun had already started to sink beneath the horizon, casting an orange glow across the scene. She moved to Celestia’s side, pulling a chair up behind her. She sat down, and lay her head across the alicorn’s white fur.

“Don’t you think you were a little hard on him?” Twilight’s head didn’t move as she spoke.

“I don’t tell you how to rule your ponies. Don’t tell me how to speak to my changelings,” Chrysalis answered, pulling her sheets up over her shoulders. To the unknowing eye, they both appeared to be asleep.

“He really does care about you, you know?” Twilight said.

“Did it occur to you that maybe that’s why I’m disappointed?” He should know better. She’d taught him better. Hadn’t she? Either way, it would be a decision he needed to make on his own, now.

“That seems cruel to me. Aren’t you supposed to be his mother?”

Chrysalis snorted. Of course she was his mother. And if Twilight knew a single thing about motherhood, she might be able to understand. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand. It’s a changeling thing.”

“Really? Every Changeling I know seems to get along just fine. You sure this isn’t just a ‘Chrysalis’ thing?” Twilight didn’t bother to hide the venom creeping into her voice.

Chrysalis stayed quiet for a moment, but refused to draw her gaze away from Twilight.

“Tell me something. How does it feel to watch Celestia die? To sit there and know that there’s a chance she will never wake up. This person who’s been such a massive influence on your life and who you love like family might be dead within the next few weeks?”

Twilight didn’t answer. Chrysalis hadn’t expected one. She could hear Celestia’s sheets ruffle, but she didn’t care enough to turn and see.

“I’d wager it hurts. An unbearable agony deep in your soul. A wound that time will never fully restore. You wonder if there’s anything that can be done to save them. You’d trade anything for just a little more time with them.”

“Stop it, Chrysalis. I don’t want to hear this.”

“Let me tell you a story.”

“I said stop, Chrysalis!”

“Centuries ago, a certain hatchling was born into the hive. It’s chitin never grew properly. He couldn’t supply enough love to feed and heal himself in the hive. Any attempts to leave and try his hoof at infiltration would’ve seen him torn to pieces beneath the sandstorms of the badlands. He had to be cared for every single day of his life.

“I told you to stop!” Twilight growled.

Chrysalis waited for Twilight to settle back down before continuing.

“The next year rolled around, and with it, a new generation of drones would hatch. Too many. We didn’t have the resources to feed them all. I decided that what little we had would be rationed. They’d be given just enough to live. Several of the older drones volunteered their shares, but it still wouldn’t be enough. We couldn’t spare enough for the weak.

“I’m not listening,” Twilight said, pressing her hooves over her ears.

Chrysalis had forgotten about Twilight, and the pony’s protests went unheeded.

“It took three days for him to lose his struggle. The hive didn’t object. The drone himself didn’t object. In his final moments, he couldn’t have been happier. He would die a hero of the swarm. I felt him draw his last breath, cradled to my chest. The hive honored his sacrifice, but his name would be lost to the ages. I might be the only one who remembers him now.

She pictured his face. Staring up at her. Filled with a spark of life that couldn’t be.

“He is but one in the sea of faces that haunt me when I close my eyes. The mother that couldn’t save them. But because of their sacrifice, the hive would survive. That became the first rule of the Changelings. Those who couldn’t provide for the hive would be left behind. Thorax disregards that lesson, and in doing so, endangers his hive. That is why he will not survive as king.”

“Chrysalis, how could you –”

Chrysalis’ gaze snapped back to the present. “You and your kin call me a monster, Twilight Sparkle. But you know nothing about me. Of the difficult choices I’ve had to make. Not just for my sake, but for the survival of my hive. Think about that the next time you feel like lecturing me.”

---

Finally roused from her sleep, Twilight could only watch as the first rays of moonlight shimmered against the black shell of the changeling queen. Her eyes were locked far beyond the horizon, watching far into the past. Twilight swallowed the bile in her throat. She recognized the look on Chrysalis’ face. She’d seen Celestia use the same stoic mask to hide.

“Thorax found another way.” Twilight shook.

“For now. There will come a day when the love they skim from you ponies won’t be enough. From there, his decisions will shape the new hive. They will attempt to return to the way of life I trained him for, and they will likely still die. Or, they will beg the ponies to save them, and spend the rest of history as pets to you and your princesses. Such are the choices of leaders, Twilight. I thought Celestia would’ve taught you that.”

“You don’t know anything about Celestia.” Twilight swung her hoof like she was trying to throw a punch. “She would never sacrifice her subjects or her friends. She’d find another way.”

Chrysalis sighed. “She already has Twilight. Go ahead and ask Luna what Celestia would be willing to sacrifice to protect her country. I’m sure she would have quite the answer for you.” She snorted. “Hopefully, I’ll live to see you make a choice like that. And I’ll enjoy watching you fail.”

Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth. “I won’t fail.”

“That so?” Chrysalis snorted. “What about saving Celestia? Here and now. Would you sacrifice a pony you’ve never met to save your mentor? You could spin it however you like. You could tell yourself you only chose the way you did for the good of Equestria. Maybe you secretly like the way control feels. Doesn’t really matter in the end.”

“I’m nothing like you, Chrysalis.” Twilight bit her tongue.

“You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“That’s enough.” Twilight turned back towards Celestia.

Satisfied with her apparent victory, Chrysalis rolled over and fell asleep. She had planted a seed of doubt in Twilight’s heart, infecting her with doubt and anxiety. When the guard came to retrieve the princess, Twilight hadn’t slept. Even once they escorted her to her chambers, where she cowered beneath heavy wool sheets, exhaustion refused to overtake the alicorn.

Her mind constantly shifted to the room around her. The image of her cutie mark, painted on the wall, mocked her. For all her magical might, she was powerless. Experiments meant to heal the princess lay scattered across a multitude of desks and tables, all disappointing failures. Various tomes sat on the shelves, ignorant of any critical knowledge.

Like sharks amidst a bloody wreck, Chrysalis’ words circled through Twilight’s head. She would never sacrifice a pony for her princess.

But the dark thought persisted. She was running out of leads and Celestia only grew worse with each passing day. What would she give to save her? What cost could she live with? What was the price of her soul?

As dawn broke, Twilight had an idea. A terrible idea, but an idea, nonetheless.

Startling her guards, Twilight left her quarters early in the morning. She moved with a fierce determination that the armored ponies struggled to keep up with. Down a rather regal flight of stairs. Past the kitchens and the enticing scent of a warm breakfast. Between the confused soldiers standing at attention outside the royal court.

With a flash of magic, Twilight forced the doors open. The sudden noise nearly knocked Luna from the throne at the other end of the marble hallway. Twilight marched past stained glass portraits depicting her and her friends’ adventures through the years. Memories of each disaster sought to direct Twilight from her path, but she wouldn’t stop.

“Twilight?” Luna cleared her throat. “I had not expected you to be up so early. Did you need a sounding board for a new hypothesis? More supplies for a new experiment?” Luna asked, a little intimidated by the sheer willpower of her sister’s student.

“Luna, I need you to do something for me.” Twilight’s hooves stopped at the base of the stairs leading to the throne. Even through the red carpet, she could feel the cold stone underneath.

“Of course.” Luna leaned forward. “Just name it.”

As Twilight spoke, Chrysalis’ words echoed through her mind. She would never sacrifice another pony, but she couldn’t deny a kernel of truth hidden within the lesson. There was no doubt this would be dangerous, but maybe that would be the cost she paid.

“Luna.” Twilight drew a deep breath. “I want you to bring Chrysalis to the castle.”

“Ahh?” Luna smiled. “I was wondering if you might come around–”

“But not as a prisoner. Instead, I want her brought here under my control.”

Luna raised an eyebrow as she shifted in her throne. “I take it then that you have not changed your mind?”

“No. Princess Luna, I don’t believe violence is the answer. But I do think that Chrysalis holds the key to reversing this spell.” Twilight’s throat felt dry. It took all her focus not to let her voice crack. “My experiments would benefit greatly from her knowledge, whether she cooperates or not.”

“I see.” Luna tapped her hoof incessantly against the marble tile. She spent a long time inspecting the its polish.

Twilight chewed the inside of her lip. Her confidence struggled against the air of authority that permeated the hall. She kept strong just long enough for her to take a deep breath.

Finally, Luna sighed. “I do not like this idea, but I trust you have a good reason for it. Very well. I will inform the doctor about your decision. She will be kept under guard at all times in one of the guest rooms. Is that an acceptable arrangement?”

“Yes. I will inform Chrysalis of them myself.” Twilight turned to leave.

“In return, I want something from you, though, Twilight.”

The younger princess stopped in her tracks.

“Consider my methods. I know you are angry with me for suggesting what I did,” Luna began. “But if your experiments do not give the necessary results, we may not have another choice.”

“I . . . '' Twilight took a deep breath. “If you truly believe it’s necessary.”

“Good.” Luna sat straight on her throne. “Then I will leave you with only this advice. Be cautious.” Luna’s voice took on a hard edge that sent chills up Twilight’s spine. “Even without her horn, Chrysalis is dangerous. She will try to tempt and trick you. You would do well not to let her.”

“Don’t worry, Princess. She won’t,” Twilight promised. And she prayed to whoever was listening that she wouldn’t come to regret that promise.

“I’m glad to hear it.” Luna smiled. “Then you have my permission to act as you see fit, Twilight. I wish you luck with your endeavors. For our sake, and for that of all of Equestria.”

Comments

[Stahlseele]

@Arkane12

Will you continue Life of a Queen?

[Starlight Nova]

I agree with Stahlseele. Will you continue Life of a Queen?

[Arkane12]

11774451

11774498

So, Life of a Queen also started a rework process which connects it more with the new ending. However, I’ve taken a bit of a break from writing Fanfiction to work on an original piece. I will eventually pick up LoaQ and Ashes again, but I don’t know how long that’ll be. I’ve never published a book, after all.

[GeneraLeeDiscord]

Interesting story but I'm still having trouble coming to grasp how in the hell Chrysalis stabbing Celestia would result in her being put into a coma. Everyone keeps talking about spells but from what I've read nothing suggests such a thing was present!

[Arkane12]

11789438
It's a sort of situation where the aftermath reveals the truth. For something as simple as a stab wound, Celestia should have been able to shake it off without much issue. The fact that she's in a coma sort of betrays the idea that something else happened during the stabbing. That's what Twilight's trying to figure out. As for how that happens, that's something that's a mystery for now.

Does that answer your question?

[oblivion2k]

And so it begins.

I'm sure Chrysalis will be giddy at the chance to help Twilight with her research.