Horse Divorce
Cadance trotted into the dining hall, hovering a freshly baked cake above her.
“Oh, Cadance, you didn’t have to bake a cake just for us!” Celestia said from the end seat.
“Yeah Cady, you really shouldn’t have,” Shining Armor muttered under his breath, just loud enough for anyone paying any amount of attention to him to hear.
Cadance’s smile faltered for half a heartbeat as she levitated the cake onto the center of the table. “It was nothing. I love to bake, and I love my Aunties!” She turned to Twilight, who was sitting immediately to Cadance’s left. “And of course I love my favorite little filly, too! It was worth the time and effort, trust me.”
“Sure, your time,” Shining remarked again.
Cadance shot him a look, quietly chastising through her teeth, “Shiny, not now. We have guests.”
Shining returned the look, but sat up straighter and put a smile on his face. “Of course, dear. We do have an image to uphold.”
Cadance turned back to the two sisters, who were looking on in confusion.
Cadance blushed, looking for an excuse. “Just some… personal matters. Nothing to worry about. Especially when we’ve got such a wonderful feast prepared for us!”
Cadance could tell that they weren’t quite convinced, but gladly took the excuse. Everypony started to grab a few spoonfuls from bowls filled with the salads and soups spread throughout the table.
Before Shining was able to take a single bite, fork full of leafy greens halfway to his mouth, Luna asked “Shining Armor, how goes the Crystal Guard? It has been an age since I have seen them in action myself.”
He sighed, putting the fork down. “They’ve improved drastically since we got here. Many had cast their weapons aside, afraid their nightmares from Sombra would return and make them do harm. But gradually, with the help of therapy, many have been reinstated to protect the Crystal Empire.”
“Yes,” Cadance remarked. “Therapy surely has changed the lives of a vast number of our citizens, and will surely help many more.” She cast a glance Shining’s way, which Shining returned with equal hostility.
“Is something going on?” Twilight asked, looking between her brother and Cadance.
They both looked to Twilight, then back to themselves.
“No, of course not!” Cadance said.
“Never been better,” Shining agreed.
Suddenly the doors around them opened, and in walked a dozen waiters carrying the main courses. Delicacies from all over Equestria and beyond lined the table now, with everything from hamburgers to sushi and everything in between, lighting up the table in an array of colors and smells and tastes sure to lighten any mood.
Most moods, anyway.
Cadance aggressively cut into a fish fillet, dumping half of it on her plate. Shining ignored the food entirely, instead choosing to finally start his salad, stabbing at the vegetables as if he were killing some imaginary foe.
Twilight looked between them again. “I don’t want to be rude, but I feel like you’re not being entirely honest with me.” Twilight looked to the sisters across the table for confirmation. Luna only shrugged, and Celestia was busy cutting herself a sizable portion of the cake.
For a moment, Cadance’s eyes burned with fury, aimed directly at Twilight. Then, before Twilight turned back to her, she cooled herself off, taking a deep breath. “You know what Twilight? You’re right.”
Shining loudly dropped his fork back on his plate, leaning forward to hear what his wife had to say, knowing what it would be about.
Cadance continued. “There’s been a slight… hiccough in our relationship. We were hoping to get through this dinner without it being brought up, because it really is no big deal, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”
Twilight immediately became sympathetic. “Well, if there’s anything that either of you n—”
“Twily, we’re fine,” Shining interrupted. “We can handle it.”
“Shiny!” Cadance chastised. “Don’t interrupt your sister. That’s… rude!”
Shining laughed. “Oh, that’s rude? But your subtle allusions to me needing therapy aren’t?”
“I never said you needed therapy,” she defended. “I just feel like you could be spending a little bit more time with your family.”
“Should we be here for this?” Twilight asked, receiving no response.
“I visit the Royal Crystaller everyday! Meanwhile you’re always too busy doing “Official Business” to even meet me for lunch.”
Cadance sighed. “You know how important it is that the Crystal Empire gets started on the right hoof, Shiny.”
Shining leaned back in his seat, crossing his hooves. “Oh yeah. And when will that excuse run out? Before or after I die?”
“Shiny!” Cadance yelled.
The other alicorns all froze up, the seriousness of this argument immediately apparent.
“What?” he asked. “I feel like that’s a reasonable question. You won’t have time for us tomorrow. Or the next day. And if the last few years are any indication—”
“Well, it’s not like you’re any better!” Cadance pointed an accusatory hoof Shining’s way, standing up out of her chair. “You think it’s easy running an entire country by yourself? We’re supposed to be a team, Shiny!”
Another door opened, and from it walked Sunburst, levitating a tray of cookies held by Flurry Heart, both completely oblivious to the chaos. “Hey, everypony! Flurry woke up early and decided that she would absolutely not go to sleep unless she had personally delivered these cookies to her parents.”
Flurry was levitated over to stand on the nearest open spot on the table where she set the tray. He looked between everypony.
“Is everything alright?”
“Oh and don’t even get me started on him.” Cadance narrowed her eyes right at Sunburst, a raging inferno building up in them and threatening to burn him to a crisp. There was a beat of silence, one heavy enough that not even the strength of all 5 alicorns could keep their heads raised through.
“Y’know what-” Sunburst started, sweat pouring down his face and making his mane stick to his head. “-I-I think Flurry is ready to go back down for her nap now. I’ll just…” His horn lit up with a pale yellow aura that encompassed the foal nearby, but it was broken by a much stronger baby blue magic grasp.
“Oh no you don’t!” Cadance stood up and slammed her hoof on the table, cracking the sturdy wood beneath and making everypony jump. “You’ve already taken my husband, you’re not taking Flurry too.”
A collective gasp filled the room from their gathered family. The eyes of the three alicorns across the way withered Shining Armor until he felt like a colt at a parent-teacher conference again. He couldn’t even meet the eyes of any of them, especially Twilight.
“Sh-Shining...what is she talking about?” his sister asked meekly. He could see the wings on her back twitching and her eyes darting between the three ponies from the Crystal Empire. “This is all a joke, right? Right?”
“Oh yes Shiny-” Cadance spit out the pet name like it was poison, her composure now collapsed and bile taking its place. “-this is all a joke, right? Just a mean-spirited prank?”
Every eye was on him again and they were all piling their judgements atop the stallion. The most powerful ponies in Equestria were ready to call him a villain, they were ready to bury him where he sat.
Shining Armor closed his eyes and tried to center himself with a deep breath. He wanted this all to go over so much smoother-hell he didn’t want it to be this public yet. Yet here they were, and he was letting it all happen.
Not anymore, he was done being silent.
“I’ve given you everything.” Shining’s voice started in a whisper and gradually picked up in volume. “I’ve been by your side since I was a teenager, given you every ounce of affection and adoration I could...I gave you my life. Every day of it. For over a decade.” He was trying not to be bitter but he let some of it slip into his tone, something he just couldn’t help anymore.
“Yes, and I’ve done the same!” Cadance rebutted. “That’s what a relationship is, Shining! That’s what marriage is!”
“When?” It was a simple question, one that knocked Shining’s wife right back into her seat and allowed him to stand up. “When have you ever given anything up for me? When have you stopped doing something for my benefit? I moved to a different country. I left my family and my job that I spent my whole life working towards behind. I gave up so much just to be close to you!”
“I carried your foal!” Cadance roared back as she stood once more, their faces mere inches apart. “I was kept in a dungeon during our wedding and replaced!”
“You don’t think I know that?” Shining had to let out a little scoff at the notion. “Every morning I wake up beside you and I have to tell myself ‘she’s not Chrysalis.’ Every morning I have to remind myself that you’re not that monster! Every time I kiss you I have to tell myself that you’re not going to drain me of my love! I still have nightmares about that but do you care? No!”
“And yet you still had a foal with me.”
“You mean the one that Celestia pushed us to have?”
“Well… encouraged. I wouldn’t say pushed,” Celestia attempted to defend herself, but quickly decided to not go any further.
“In fact, she was the one who pushed my parents to hire you as Twilight’s foalsitter, and she was the one who put you in my class. You, an alicorn princess, in a public school.” He looked around to the other ponies in the room and raised his hooves in frustration. “I feel like my whole life has been directed! I’m just an actor being told what to do! I haven't been allowed to find out who I am because somepony else has always wanted me to be something else! So yeah! I experimented! Sue me! We were all having some wine together one night and Sunburst and I kissed! Yeah, and maybe I’ve been spending time with him to understand what it’s like to...to know what you are.”
Another silence filled the air as Shining Armor fell to the floor. A hoof was placed on his shoulder and he turned to see Sunburst smiling at him gently, nervous sweat still covering his face. It was reassuring and gave him just enough strength to carry on through this conversation.
Both he and Cadance were crying now, hot tears streaming down their cheeks. A heavy weight settled on his shoulders, one that had always been there but he never knew just how much of a burden it was until that night.
“For the first time in my life...I felt like I didn’t know who I was.” It was that uncertainty that was the unidentified weight on his back for so long. It was now something he could look back on and see so much in a truly new light. “But the more I thought about it, the more it all started to make sense. Why I never told Twilight we were dating, why it took me years to propose, why it took Celestia’s prodding to have a foal…”
“Don’t say it, Shining,” Cadance pleaded quietly. “Please, don’t say it. We can still make this work. I can change. I love you, I’ve always loved you.”
“I thought I loved you too.” Shining smiled the best he could. “I really thought I did.”
“We apologize, but can We get a little clarity?” Princess Luna chimed in, her head cocked to the side. “We seem to be missing something here…” Celestia leaned over and whispered in her sister’s ear, which made Luna’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. “Oh. Well...good luck to you both on that…” Without another word, Luna disappeared in a flash of light.
If only Shining could do the same.
“We’ve spent so much time together. So much of our lives.” Cadance brushed a hoof against his cheek, her lip quivering as she choked back more tears. “Is it really over?”
“I..I don’t think I can live a lie anymore, Cadance. I can’t not be me like I have been for so long.”
“Was it worth it? Us, I mean? The good times?”
“I don’t know. Can pretending to be something you’re not ever be worth it?”
“What about the Empire? What will they do? What will they think?” Cadance questioned with a sigh.
“Who cares about the Empire, Cadance?!” Twilight erupted as her horn flashed and she disappeared for a moment, only to reappear between the two. “What about Flurry Heart? She’s just a foal, what is she going to think?”
Cadance blanched at the mention of their foal again as the realization dawned upon her that some of what Shining had said earlier had been right. She opened her mouth to defend herself, but even her words failed her.
“Staying together for a foal never works. It will just make us resent her.” Shining Armor laid out the cold harsh truth.
“So...is it over?”
“Yeah, I think it is. I’m sorry, Cadance.”
“Me too, Shiny. I’m sorry we wasted each other’s time.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Write Flyer · 2.3k words · 32 2 · 697 views
- Undome Tinwe · 6k words · 46 7 · 842 views
- Alank2 · 3.2k words · 44 2 · 650 views
- Shakespearicles · 3.1k words · 91 4 · 898 views
- EileenSaysHi · 4k words · 36 3 · 447 views
- deadpansnarker · 2.5k words · 61 2 · 775 views
- I Vicious I · 1.7k words · 52 3 · 859 views
- Quoterific · 1.8k words · 59 1 · 1.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.107 seconds
Total duration
887 users online
503,433 hits today, 2,167,270 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Entertaining; I liked it. The ending was a bit flat though, could have resolved with a few more lines but that's just my nit-pick.
I was expecting a funny excuse for a pun based on the title and the opening feast, instead I got a brutally believable tale of pony realizing Celestia micromanages her sims.
I see now that this did not come with the comedy tag I blindly expected.
Feels like Cadance can hook up with Starlight now, to deepen this drama...
...
Well, they both exhibited a manipulation of others to some degree, right? Might just as well find a common ground over that.
Saddest family dinner ever.
I hope Sunburst gets a decent end out of it as well.
I wonder what Celestia told Luna exactly--probably her ever constant plans for her citizens, perhaps.
Shining and Sunburst. Woah. Good for them.
When I opened it up , I initially expected a pun. Not a sad family dinner especially with a comedy tag.
But it's pretty good.
Can't help but feel that it needs the "sad" tag
Wow, just… wow. This is heartbreaking (especially given the pun in the title) yet feels fairly realistic. I like you managed to keep Shining sympathetic despite him cheating on his wife. There’s a nice little deconstruction of series here, pointing out how the events of A Cantorlot Wedding might have actually been traumatic for Shining, and how Celestia has been manipulating Shinning into a relationship. It’s an interesting, if cynical, look at things that makes the situation feel even more grounded. That being said, if I felt nitpicky, I would say that I wish we saw more of the reactions of the other princesses. Especially Celestia given what’s she’s been accused of doing and Twilight because… yeah.
Luna’s reaction got a good laugh out of me though.
11746187
There is no comedy tag
I went in expecting humor and instead left with heartache.
Well done.
You know, it's pretty rare for Cadence to be the one cheated on and left for another. Well, excluding porn, those usually either have Shining being cucked, or Shining sleeping with others, but with Cadence's okay.
The real question is, why did Celestia apparently push for these two specifically to get together? What grand plan was there that she laid out when Shining was a tween? Maybe she knew something about Shining getting an alicorn pregnant would result in a natural alicorn birth?
11746270
I must have just imagined it then. Oopsie.
Sorry.
11746051
11746286
For what it's worth, Flutterpriest wrote a fic called Horse Divorce back in 2019, and it also starred Shining and Cadance (albeit with a far mare tongue-in-cheek take on the titular wordplay):
- MLP: FiM
- Comedy
What happens when the rulers of the Crystal Empire are stupid, terrible and get a divorce? Well, alcohol. And trying mostly trying to remember WHY they got a divorce.Any chance that it was what you were thinking of?
11746284
It just playing into a trope "Celestia had planned in all" (I think it can be called MLP fanfiction trope, yes). The pairings in the show and the characters' roles can be seen as engineered by some presumably benevolent force, and I don't think that the writer was intending to go in-depth on this trope, not further than necessary
11746333
Yeah I mean we wrote this like an hour where Holt wrote the first half and I wrote the second at the same time and we had like fifteen minutes to stitch this together. Don't look too deep into any of this at all.
11746084
Starlight is probably already Twilight’s. I think Cadence would probably end up pissing off the wrong pony.
Celestia seems to be the type to believe the ends justify the means, while also telling herself that everything will work out for the ponies involved. Wouldn’t even surprise me if she only pushed them together under a hunch that they could produce a natural born alicorn. Keep in mind there aren’t that many alicorns to begin with, and the only way we canonically know how to make one is with Starswirls Spell, but that’s at best unreliable to make alicorns fast enough at a replacement rate, do we really know if alicorns are immortal?… or they just long lived? Maybe she’s attempting to breed a ruling class of sorts?
Either way, I’m glad they acknowledged that staying together for a kid doesn’t work… though I wonder how Starlight will react to her dreamboat being a colt cuddler?… Maybe Trixie will make her move? Cadence though… makes me wonder if she inherited/learned Celestia’s manipulative tendencies? She saw a cute stallion one day at school, and eventually groomed him inter “her” ideal husband and accessory, just assuming that because she’s the alicorn of love she knows best. Which I’m sure auntie celly encouraged too.
11746343
I’m thinking Starlight and Trixie… they feel like a packaged deal. Only issue? Twilight gets a little too into her role-play with them.
11746350
I believe alicorns are not immortal because not only does the cartoon not say they are but one of the books, the Journal of the Two Sisters mentions specifically that they are long lived so alicorns are not immortal and saying they are is fanon no matter what fans say.
11746305
Pretty sure it was what I was thinking of.
Too short, ends where it would have gotten interesting.
11746619
It was a speedwrite written in an hour
What the actual hell. This was amazing. Well done. God, I would love to see some expansion this because it's such an intriguing idea.
Nice! MLP as soap opera. But this really needed to be a multi-part fic, instead of a truncated one-shot which ended too abruptly.
Also, Sunburst and Shining came a bit out of left-field. But I suppose that's in the ridiculously manic and melodramatic spirit of the fic. Not bad. I wish you the best of luck with all future writing endeavours.
This is plausible under expectations that never made manifest. It doesn't take much to upend a marriage. I liked it.
Interesting idea, but it just sort of...ends? This is a concept piece that could really stand more exploration. As it stands, it's just a headcanon drop with some prose around it.
11747146
Correct
11746103
Based on
It sounds to me like Shining is LGBTQ.
11746284
Extended canon is always a little murky (the book seems to imply that Cadence is a LOT older than she appears everywhere in the TV series, for example), but my best guess with this story's premise is that Celestia noticed that Cadence had the Crystal Heart as her mark, so the Crystal Empire was certainly going to return. Celestia was convinced that someone -- Sunset Shimmer possibly at first, then Twilight Sparkle -- would recover the full Elements of Harmony (otherwise, Nightmare Moon takes over and the world ends). So before any of the new Element bearers would die, since they would be mortal, having the Elements available to fight a restored Sombra meant Cadence needed to be married soon. Shining Armor was in the right/wrong place at the appropriate time to be the one Cadence needed to mesh with, and being the new would-be Element Bearer's brother was a bonus.