“For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe, a messenger lost. For want of a messenger, the message was lost. For want of a message, the battle was lost. For want of a battle, the kingdom was lost.”
“All for want of a horseshoe’s nail."
Like many other timelines, the Sonic Rainboom fails to occur. But, Harmony is tenacious. Even without what seems to be a key event, it will have it's bearers. Just perhaps taking a long, winding shortcut around to reach them.
An alternate timeline story inspired by A Minor Variation by notMurphy where the Mane 6 have their elements shuffled. Different events lead to different ponies, so OC tag is here because of how wildly different these Mane 6 ended up.
Cover made by Me.
Chapters (6)
More good
Not bad so far. But I will see if the author has it in them to keep up the good work.
Very nice.
So far Pinkie Pie is the most interesting: it looks like she knows she needs a change in her life, but without that 'sign from the universe' she's very unsure of where she's going, just that she needs to go.
A promising start. You have my interest.
11703973
She'll make her way
It may be different this time around but she'll still learn how to have her happiness. Perhaps I'll do chapter drops by twos lol
Hmm. This looks like it could be an interesting take on how things COULD have gone. REALLY liked Cadance comforting Twilight after that entrance exam failure (of course, I have to wonder if Celestia just decides "To heck with it" and just hatches Spike herself) as well as Fluttershy agreeing to take part in that invitation only if Rainbow goes too. And, of course, I have to wonder how Pinkie is going to find her "sign".
But anyway, great work on the exchanges, (alternate) characterizations and future chapter set-up.
Heh, nice Disco Elysium reference in the art
Congratulations on making it to the feature box on your first day. It speaks of hard work and brilliance.
Your story begins on an interesting premise and I believe I speak for many when I say we're curious to what will come next. Keep on the right track and you'll be a rising star in no time. Good luck!
11704221
Hehe, glad someone caught that. A little bit of foreshadowing for when I get to the Pinkamena chapter
Premise is great! First chapter hook is great! Dialogue and each characters’ struggles feel legitimate. I’m here for it!
Hm, interesting start. Adding to watchlist.
This is very good. I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.
Hope to see more of your upcoming chapters, and remember: No matter what, keep trusting, keep believing, be strong, have hope.
Here's a song that will make you do whatever it takes. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/HcNcOnIkQQU?si=YL4_e2BqQy_6et1G
Good start, let's see how it develops!
This looks crazy interesting, I cannot wait to see how it develops. Have loads of fun writing this my friend. :D
Well, it's not induced by a pink unicorn with a Harrison Bergeron complex, but doesn't a non-Rainboom timeline generally end in badness?
Still, it will be interesting seeing how things fall out. Will we get Rainbow Smart and Rescue Shy?
Though it never made sense to me that if the dragon egg test is pass/fail for getting into CGSU, how come every other student at CSGU dioesn't have their own dragon familiar?
Edited to remove h1 tags that somehow copied themselves from my source for the name.
To be fair, what Rainbow went through is the kind of traumatizing experience that would dissuade anypony from extreme sports.
Glad to these ponies are better at youth supervision than Dora the Explorer's parents.
Anyways, good start.
11704633
Welp next chapter up is 'Shy so you'll get to see that pretty soon lol (Ironically enough tho, I got Dash planned as the last one I'll go through)
So is writen in the first chapter of the book of Faust
What a great start! Can't wait to see what comes next.
Ahhh alternate universes, one of my favorite. Lovely!
Off to a good start I would say, introductions are on point and you've kept each and everypony in character very well! Rainbow Dash had a bit of a sharp U-turn in attidtude but I suppose it's understandable given the very likely traumatic experience she just went through. Hope she recovers well in the future.
And Mrs. Bell with that foreshadowing on how Rarity is capable of much more! That's fun. And very nice of the Mares to escort the young filly back, I can't wait to see how she develops further though I have some idea of possibly how it may go! We'll have to wait and see.
And Twilight, oof, my poor little heart. She worked so hard yet fell just short truly the stuff of nightmares for ol' Twily. I do particularly love how Cadence was there to cheer her up, that's a good foal sitter and big sister and it's the type of stuff that just makes you realize exactly just why Twilight holds Cadence up to such high regard. She's gonna be needing somethibg new to occupy herself with now that CSGU is out of the question. And knowing her let's hope it's healthy.
And Pinkamena coming in immediately with that "Ghost of Canon". Though if anypony would have them it's definately her, element of laughter or not. I alreally liked her talk with Mr. Pie, subdued and a bit worrying but I could practically feel that parental love. He just wants what's best for dear daughter even if it does seem counter to what they know. But since it's Pinkie she'll pull through, I know it. She is the filly of a hardy rock farmer after all.
And Applejack, my favorite of the Mane 6. She won't be coming home any time soon I suppose, but like Pinkie she's a very hardy filly, and with Uncle Orange's help I'm sure she could thrive in the streets of Manehattan. You don't just transition from country to city life immediately after all. Everything takes time and she has plenty of it.
Finally we end with Fluttershy, the catalyst you could say of the AU. She's the one that's gonna probably have the biggest changes regarding development but we're all for it! A dawn of a new age, or in this case, a new rescue flier in the making. I can't wait to see even more of her.
Tl;dr
Amazing work, characters on point, very well written and the first chapter really sells the story well. I can see how this can become very enjoyable to readers, especially those who loves AUs. Can't wait to read all about it! Cheers!
11704633
11704720
And, well, I'm sure the Dragon Egg was more about a test of CHARACTER than a test of ability. The secret is to keep trying right to the very end. Otherwise, there would either be far fewer students or far more dragons.
The fact that Twilight gave up early was the fail. Frankly, she probably WOULD do better in a school that had FAR less pressure anyway.
Amazing! I knew I would love this and now that I’ve read it I’m obsessed!!! I preemptively hit “tracking” before reading, and I was right to do so.
Now to fave twice
Hey there. Really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, (limited amounts of) action and future chapter set-up. REALLY appreciated Fluttershy's introduction to her training squad as well as their supportive reactions to her progress and her overcoming her fears enough to distract the Ursa Minor long enough for her squad to make it to safety. And she got her Cutie Mark in the process.
REALLY looking forward to more of this not just Pinkamena next chapter, but also the rest of the "Nail Six"
Discord ?
More good
Ok this is definitely an interesting premise on the "what if..." writing trope! I like it! Patiently waiting for more to come.
Amazing chapter, as usual.:D
11709728
I honestly would not be surprised if he has a talon in this. For all that he is Disharmony and Chaos, he is not above nudging things to keep stuff interesting. And what would be more interesting than messing with Harmonies plans? Besides, for all that he makes messes, he is rather fond of the world existing and being alive. Kinda hard to have that without the final line of defense...
Loyal Fluttershy. That works.
Great chapter! It sounds like Rainbow Dash may go into the arts now hmm? Can't wait to see what happens next! (I will always be here for each update because I have this story in Tracking
)
I just noticed something:
In the cover image, everyone's cutie marks are visible except Rainbow Dash's... Would this in any way imply that Rainbow never gets her cutie mark and remains a blank flank for life because of this major shift in events? Hmm, I guess we shall see at some point
11710031
Glad I hooked you so quickly then! And perhaps so, Dash does have a bit of a blank canvas in a sense for what she could do for her life now
11709908
Loyalty has to kick things off after all, just in a different way this time lol
11709717
Glad I made the rescue squad memorable and sold Flutters camaraderie with them well! Also, one of their names foreshadows a fun twist down the line if you recognize which one
My compliments to the chef... I mean author. Seriously, I usually avoid any kind of AU stories regarding the beginning of the show, all to often they're either my OC is the most important character ever'' or 'my favorite ponies become the mane six', and are about as well written as this sounds. Not sure why I gave this a chance, but the first chapter had me feeling I should give it a chance, and now I'm sure that was the right choice, and I'm looking forward to where this is going.
Hooves-on maybe?
As for Pinkie Pie Nicknames, maybe Pinka? or Mina? Short for Pinkamenia that's not Pinkie
Also, great story!
11710162
Whoops! That made it past beta reading!
But also, Pinkamena's nickname has been decided for a while but you did get pretty close on one of your guesses!
11710146
Hey, thanks for giving it a shot and glad I didn't dissapoint!
So, any idea if we'll see how the later characters like Sunset (who was initially jealous of Twilight for replacing her as Celestia's student) or Starlight (who tried to tamper with time with this event and also had her life impacted by Twilight) are affected too by the turn in events?
Oh my gosh!!! Fluttershy as the Element of Loyalty??
Love these new characters and I hope we get to see more of them! Night Glider seems very cool and has a lot of potential
Also enjoying the setup for what may be a nerdy/geeky, maybe even artsy Rainbow? There are lots of other little seeds planted in here too, like the mention of chaos magic... how curious... the anticipation builds!
11710162 I agree, 'hooves-on' would be the correct idiom.
11710031 I could see that working. She has the imagination and love of adventure to invent cool stories, even if she no longer wants to live them. Given her love of pranks, she might well be laughter, bringing joy to ponies through her stories.
11710353
Yep yep. 1 element down, 5 to go
A few of the Rescue Ponies are new minor OCs but some of these are named background ponies, one of them even has a little foreshadowing Easter Egg
Ah I'm holding myself back from talking about Rainbow's Arc cus she's getting the last chapter of the "How the Nail Six got their Cutie Mark" chapters so I don't want to give away too much prematurely, but I am intentionally leaving just. Little seeds of foreshadowing, some will come up later rather than sooner like the spark of strange magic and that name I mentioned
And the second chapter drops with Loyalty as usual starting things off! Our Fluttershy grew so much in a 6 month period and I'm very proud of her.
Story is of course getting started but we're off to a great start in that. Totally reasonable for Fluttershy to want to maybe transfer especially after Rainbow was put slightly out of the picture and I'm sure her parents both understand and support her.
The rescue squad stuff was awesome and you really conveyed it in a very believable way in my opinion, and Night Glider, my favorite, I have to give props to her for giving Shy the best first impression of Camp Wintermoor she could possibly have! Leaf whistle was fun, so was the rest of the squad, and Tenderhoof was *Chef's kiss*
I do also really love the Flutterdash intermissions, they're a good point to step back and reflect a bit plus we get more of Rainbow before her chapter which is always fun. 10/10 love those bits.
The Cobalt Blaze thing was also really sweet and the later scene where Fluttershy was apologizing probably was what cemented Tenderhoof to me as a good one. On the topic of rescuing, the Ursa Minor scene was phenomenal, loved it a lot though I may be biased. I do genuinely wonder how Discord fit's in to all this. He's not exactly a major player by the time of these events but as an AU it's understandable his influences are there.
Other than that, not much else really, the cutie mark scene was cute of course and the designation of the callsign to Fluttershy was honestly really cool! Dauntless indeed humu humu.
Overall a very good chapter to really kick things off, which thematically fits and lays the foundation for the rert of the Mane 6 to follow. And I loved it very much. Cheers!
11710353
Rainbow Dash is becoming the nerd it seems, and drawing that she doesn't want to show anyone? I think it's clothes design and she might be taking over Generrosity
11710749
Generosity would make a lot of sense, given how she's keeping herself on the sidelines and uplifting Flutters! It's interesting to see RD in this supportive role, and while her ego has definitely been knocked down a peg, she does still seem to have some of her characteristic confidence in regard to her advice- and support-giving skills ;p
While we're on Element predictions, I'm especially curious about what Pinkamena's will be. My current guess is a tossup between Magic and Honesty. I can see Magic based on her design in the cover image, and because that could be an interesting play on Pinkie sense or fourth-wall-breaking or general Pinkamena Diane Pie weirdness. But, her interaction with her father in Chapter 1 also leads me to think Honesty is a possibility, from how honest she is with her feelings. And I feel like this Pinkamena is particularly able to see through to the truth of things, and likely very matter-of-fact. We shall see, we shall see
Edit: Hmm, on re-visiting the first chapter, I'm settling more on Honesty for Pinkamena. I suspect she will be trying to pursue the truth about the timeline in some way, and the words honest/honesty appear multiple times in her section. Rarity in fact seems the most likely candidate for Magic, what with "magical surges" and all of that.
11710787
I agree with Honesty for Pinkie Pie. Rairty also is Magic because magic is a unicorn thing and with it not being Twilight I'm guessing, also if you look at the cutie marks/expressions on the cover art, Rarity's cutie mark is similar to Starlight Glimmers, so that backs me up there. It honestly makes me wonder if the author is just switching the Elements of the characters with the same species. Rarity is Magic (most likely) and Fluttershy I think is loyalty, and with Applejack being in such a good mood on the cover it makes me wonder if She is going to be Laughter while Pinkie Pie is Honesty. Rainbow Dash could either be Generosity or Kindness depending on whether or not she just switched with Fluttershy, and that would determine that the leftover Element would be Twilights. So my final guesses are
1. Fluttershy/Loyalty
2. Rarity/Magic
3. Pinkie Pie/Honesty
4. Applejack/Laughter
5. Rainbow Dash/Generosity
6. Twilight/Kindness
11710787
Well, I will confirm some weirdness on the cover isn't magic, but it is weirdness. How that'll pan out will be revealed in the next chapter :P
(Hint: Someone in the comments got the reference for the cover in chapter one
)