//------------------------------// // 5. For the Want of Honesty // Story: For the Want of a Nail // by NueGirl //------------------------------// “—and I charged through the gem storm! I mean, my commanding officer gave me an earful for that stunt but I saved that filly! Last I heard, she got scooped up by a CSGU Professor.” Twilight didn’t mean to eavesdrop on her brother’s conversation with Cadence but in fairness, neither noticed the sound of the small filly creeping down the stairs for water. She felt her chest tighten as she listened, echoes of ‘Failure’ repeating in her mind. She slumped down the wall she was leaning on and choked back tears. “It’s been 6 months… Why am I not over this yet?!” she berated herself as she ran back to her room, slamming the door behind her. Study books still littered her desk, untouched for over half a year. Invitations from her friends (Could she even call them that if she never so much as talked to them outside of studying?) stuffed in the wastebasket. Maybe it was Twilight hearing about some random filly succeeding where she failed that finally made something snap, something that said ‘I don’t want to chase shadows for the rest of my life’. Twilight finally cleared off her desk of CSGU prep books and pulled out a pamphlet that BBBFF had given to her a few weeks back, one of his old choices for leaving Canterlot before he signed up with the guard. ~~~ 1 Week Later ~~~ Twilight knew that it was easier to ask her father about what she wanted to do. Easier, not easy. “Hey dad?” Twilight pushed open the door to her father’s study, it was cluttered as always but Night Light looked up from his star charts. “Oh! Yes, Twilight?” her father asked as the filly took a deep breath. “So… I’ve been doing some thinking… About what I can do after being… Rejected and all.” Her father frowned but it wasn’t directed at her. “What did you have in mind Twilight?” “Well… I don’t think I could handle the guard like BBBFF… But maybe I could handle this?” Twilight hoofed over the pamphlet, The Equestrian Conservation Association. “I did my research and I think I would do well at the Trotston Archives Branch,” Twilight said as her father flipped through the pamphlet. “I don’t really know… I mean it’s not Manehattan, but Trotston is still a big city. Let’s go ask your mother.” Night Light stood. Twilight’s stomach dropped like a sack of rocks in a lake. Her mother would never agree to this. ~~~ “No, absolutely not Trotston,” Twilight Velvet said, “It’s much too far for a filly to go on her own to.” “But mom-!” Twilight tried to argue. “No buts!” “Dear,” Night Light said, “I agree with you that the city is too much for Twilight, but I looked through myself and found a better option.” Her father handed back the pamphlet with his option circled in blue, Ponyville.  “She’ll be set up with a sponsor family and it’s a quiet little town, no trouble to be had,” Night Light explained as he and Twilight Velvet looked over a different information packet. “Cataloging the cultivars of local farms… Botany is a bit of a leap for you but, I’m sure you’ll do great at it Twilight! It’s quite an exciting opportunity!” Twilight knew her father was softening the blow, but she still looked at the brochure like it was a moldy piece of cheese. She’d never even heard of Ponyville before but, looking at her parents, it seemed that they had made the choice for her…  ~~~ 2 Weeks Later ~~~ After Twilight’s parents dropped her off at the station, with promises of sending letters, the purple filly sat staring out the window of the train with her luggage beside her. She thought she should have been feeling sad at this moment, watching Canterlot shrink away as the train trundled on. But, she wasn’t.  She wasn’t happy by any stretch but, she felt an odd relief in leaving everything behind. Twilight spent the entire ride trying to untangle her conflicted feelings, so deep in thought that she almost missed the announcement for the Ponyville stop. Not that she did sort anything out. Twilight’s walk to where she would be staying for the foreseeable future, one ‘Sweet Apple Acres’, was uneventful. The town was small enough that even she couldn’t get lost. Walking up the dirt path to the farm she was greeted by three ponies— an orange coated mare, a large red colt, and an aged green mare— who all had welcoming smiles on their faces. Twilight noticed a barking puppy bounding around the trio as she approached. “Howdy!” The orange mare greeted, “You must be the cons’vation pony we were told ‘bout! Have t’say tho, you’re a mite younger than I was expectin’ sugarcube.” Twilight didn’t really know how to respond to the older mare, so she merely fidgeted with her luggage. “Oh where are my manners… I haven’t introduced us! My name is Buttercup, the old mare over there is my mother-in-law Granny Smith, and this here is my pride and joy Big Mac. Oh, and this energetic little scamp is Winona,” Mrs. Buttercup introduced the present family members. Twilight glanced up through her bangs. “I’m… My name is Twilight Sparkle and… Yes, I am here with the Equestrian Conservation Association, but simply as… a junior member…”  Mrs. Buttercup gave the filly a soft smile. “Twilight Sparkle, that’s a lovely name, sugarcube. I have another foal about your age but she’s… Away from home.” A strange look passed over the mare’s face for only a moment before her easy going smile returned, “How about we show you to your room Miss Sparkle?” ~~~ Her room was rustic by every stretch of the word, but she would be tempted to say it was cozy. It was already the late afternoon by the time Twilight had arrived so she wasn’t able to start any work until tomorrow; what that entailed, she didn’t really know. She tried doing some of the unpacking with her magic but gave up halfway through, her books and saddlebags in a state half flung out of her luggage and half shoved into a pile in the corner of the room.  “A problem for tomorrow me,” Twilight thought. Though she didn’t want it, sleep came readily to her. She had an exhausting day and she had the sneaking premonition things wouldn’t get easier.  ~~~ The Next Day ~~~ It would turn out that ‘Cultivar Cataloging’ was just a fancy way of saying ‘Harvest Record Keeping’, as Twilight spent most of the day following around Big Mac with a clipboard while he showed her around the orchards. Twilight wanted to be annoyed, but the work kept her occupied at least.  Plus the sunlight was nice, and she quickly found out Big Mac wasn’t a big talker, so she didn’t need to fill in the silence with chit chat. ~~~  Twilight was hoping to sit inside and read up more on botany, but the elderly matriarch of the family had sent her out with Big Mac again to help with chores around the farm. “If’n yous done with that book keepin’ y'all might as well git tomorrow’s crop ready for the town.”  Twilight huffed at being used as an extra set of hooves around the farm, but she supposed it was only fair for being in their home and getting food from them. Big Mac held back a snicker when he saw Twilight already winded from only bringing two bushels worth of apples to the barn, which earned a glare from the unicorn. She was the opposite of an athletic pony in Canterlot! This was grueling, exhausting work that she in no way had the body to handle! So why in Celestia’s Everloving Mane did it make her feel so happy?! “Heat must be making me delirious…” Twilight thought as she brought the last bushels of apples to the barn. ~~~ A Few Days Later ~~~ Twilight being pressed to help with farm chores became a regular occurrence; visiting ponies from the town sometimes asking if the filly was a new farmhoof. “Something like that,” was Twilight’s go-to answer, usually too exhausted to explain her actual role at the farm. She ended her days sore and worn out, but despite herself oddly fulfilled. Especially after whatever dinner she had with the Apples; the food was always delicious and filling. Twilight laid down, staring at the ceiling, wondering how her life had come to this. But more pressingly why she didn’t feel… bad about it. ~~~ Dear Cadence and Shining, Hi you two, sorry it took so long to get this letter done. Been really busy with all the sudden responsibilities thrust upon me. Made it really hard to sit down and write (Well, that and my hoofwriting probably isn’t up to snuff). Things are going fine at the farm. I haven’t been crushed by a falling tree yet but with how much I’ve been working, I definitely feel like that.  I mean, I guess I do have a related question, one that's more up BBBFF’s alley being in the guard and all. Is exercise supposed to make you feel better? It’s weird, I’ve been doing a lot of physical work but I’ve been feeling happier than ever? I thought it was just the sunlight but now I’m not sure. Anyway, please write back soon. I'd love to hear from you two, the return address should be right. Miss you and love you lots. Your Little Sister,  Twilight *** Dear Twilight, Hi Twily! And it’s alright, me and Cady have both been busy around Canterlot anyway, we miss you lots too. Glad to hear you’re doing good at that farm you got sent to! To be honest, I was a bit scared considering… Well, you don’t need me to tell you how you are with exercise. But it seems I should’ve had more faith in you! And yeah, I got a little bit of that too, the drills are grueling but… There’s some satisfaction in powering through.  Heya little spark! Your favorite foalsitter here and glad you’re doing well for yourself there! I knew you had it in you! And don’t forget, we’re here for you. Just say the word and I can pull some strings to be over in a flash! We’re looking forward to when you write next!  Your Big Brother Best Friend Forever,  Shining ~~~ A Few Weeks Later ~~~ Twilight had gotten used to the new routine she had found herself in, switching between bookkeeping on off days and tagging along with the quiet Big Mac to complete chores around the farm. Didn’t mean she wasn’t as restless as a hound off its leash. “Looks like this fall’s apples are growing nicely… Oh looks like I’ll find out whatever ‘Zap Apple Harvest’ means and why it’s so far away from any of the other big harvests.” “Eeyup,” came the simple reply Twilight had grown accustomed to from the red colt. “Maybe I should read up… I think there was a library in town?” Twilight continued to idly talk to herself as the two foals walked through the orchard. “I wonder who could take me though… I wouldn’t want to intrude…” “... Ah could go with ya’ Sparkles.” came the quiet, but rumbling, reply as Twilight jerked her head around, “What? Did ah say somethin’ strange?”  “No- no I- It’s just that I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say more than ‘Eeyup’ or ‘Eenope’... Just- Surprised you did was all.” “Oh, and why the surprise? Thinkin’ ah was too slow to keep up with what you’re sayin’?” Mac asked with a furrowed brow. “No!” Twilight quickly said, “No, not in the slightest! Actually… I thought I made a bad impression and you just didn’t want to talk to a bookworm like me…” “Oh… Sorry ah came across like that, Sparkles… You just seemed like me.” “Like you… How?” “The quiet type… Figured ‘cus you seemed comfortable ‘nuff without talkin’ none.” “Oh… Well you aren’t wrong,” Twilight said with a giggle before her expression fell, “I wasn’t much of a… social filly back in Canterlot…” Big Mac didn’t say anything but nodded understandingly. “But… I suppose things have been nice here, it’s relaxing even with the chores.” “Eeyup, honest work keeps your head on straight is what my Mah always says,” Big Mac returned the smile as the two continued to walk to the barn. “Hah… Guess so.” ~~~ … ~~~ Twilight silently fidgeted at the edge of the kitchen, for as comfortable as she had gotten around Big Mac, the rest of the Apples were still a bit much. She was happy to be lending a hoof and being useful, but with Big Mac across the farm helping applebuck, it was just her and Mrs. Buttercup in the farmhouse. “Sugarcube, can you mix in the vanilla bean for the next batch? Ah have my hooves full with blending this one,” Mrs. Buttercup said as she scooped steaming apples into a crank grinder. Twilight opened her mouth to say something but couldn’t get the words out so, she simply nodded and pushed over a step stool so she could reach the counter. The orange mare chuckled softly, “Y’know Ah see why you and my boy get along like houses on fire now.” “He uh… He said something similar a few days ago…” Twilight whispered as she bit down on a spoon and started mixing. Mrs. Buttercup paused a moment before she turned to start grinding the apples into paste, “Ah noticed this from the day y’came here but never had the chance to ask you sugarcube, why d’you never seem to use magic for anythin’? Sorry if Ah’m prying a tad.” “O-oh uh… I- If you were- It’s just uh- It’s a recent development…” Twilight stuttered out as she continued to mix the bowl of sugar and spice, “Something just… Happened and now I have this- this hangup with my magic and I can’t really… Use it anymore… It’s hard to explain, Mrs. Buttercup.” The mare gave a motherly smile and paused from her task to run a hoof through Twilight’s hair, “Perfectly fine sugarcube, y’don’t need to explain more than y’want to just t’satisfy this old mare’s curiosity.” Twilight froze at the touch. It was sudden but… not unwelcome, it reminded her of Cadence a little. The filly opened her mouth to say a thank you but no words came out, instead choosing to gratefully nod. She was a little tempted to hug the older mare but it felt a bit too intimate for her, not like she was more than a sponsor foal living under the family’s roof.  “Anyway, now tha’ your done with mixin’, Ah’ll help you get this into the next batch,” Mrs. Buttercup said with a warm smile as she took the bowl from the filly’s grasp and pulled the lid off one of the pots on the stove. ~~~ … ~~~ Twilight couldn’t sleep.  The magic within her thrummed with energy, buzzing like an angry beehive itching to be released. Back in Canterlot she would have simply levitated a book or two and walked around her room, perhaps even getting something done. But now… Twilight sighed as she shoved off her sheets and quietly got out of bed, the moon shining through the window as she fumbled with lighting a lantern.  Taking the handle by her mouth, Twilight creeped out the door into the silent house and made her way down the stairs. She’d done this before without waking anypony and she was expecting this night to be the same, which is why she was surprised to see a familiar herding puppy sitting right in front of the back door. Bringing up a hoof to mime shushing, she tried to get Winona to scootch out of the way to no avail. “You restless too then… girl?” Twilight sighed as Winona barked in affirmation. “Shh! Don’t wake everypony up… Please?” she yell-whispered to the puppy before Winona tilted her head expectantly. “You want to come with me on my walk don’t you?” Twilight guessed as the puppy turned to paw at the door. Twilight sighed and supposed that the herding dog wouldn’t be the worst companion for a walk through the orchards in the middle of the night. The moon shone brightly overhead, a cool breeze blew through the orchard, and the air was silent save the quiet chirping of crickets in the grass. It was the very picture of a pleasant night, but Twilight couldn’t bring herself to enjoy the atmosphere as she trotted between the trees and Winona bounded beside her. She smiled at the puppy’s antics but her mind wandered further than her legs as her thoughts churned.  “What a pathetic letdown of a unicorn I am… I can’t even perform a simple levitation spell anymore…” “One failure and… That’s it.” “Maybe it was for the best… Maybe I’m not even fit to be a unicorn, much less a gifted one.” Twilight tripped on a root but didn’t get up and instead laid beside the tree that she stumbled over. The filly braced herself on the tree but began to quietly sob as her inner demons continued to lash at her thoughts.  Suddenly, she was brought back to the present by an odd wetness on her cheeks that wasn’t her tears. Looking up with a sniffle she saw the herding pup trying to get her attention before pushing herself to the filly's side. “... Smart little doggy aren’t you?” Twilight said as she felt herself calming down. Winona simply barked in affirmation which coaxed a hiccuping laugh from the filly.  The two stayed sitting underneath the tree until Twilight had calmed down and the two made their way back to the farmhouse, the buzzing in her mind abated. A subtle glow unnoticed by the pair illuminated the tree Twilight sat under, the apple blossoms on the tree bloomed much earlier than they should. ~~~ A Few Weeks Later ~~~ Twilight balanced Winona on her back as she and Mrs. Buttercup galloped down a dirt path to where the mare told her there was an apothecary. “Mrs. Buttercup!” Twilight had shouted as she burst through the door, “I was out with Winona but she- and there was a snake and- she’s hurt!” Twilight shook herself out of the panic of a few minutes ago as she tried to keep up with Mrs. Buttercup. “Don’t worry too much sugarcube,” she said when they made it to the cottage at the end of the path, “this ain’t Winona’s first scrap, sun’s sake not her last neither. Nurse Poppy Seeds’ll set ‘er right as rain.” Mrs. Buttercup knocked on the cottage door to be greeted by a red coated mare with a nurse’s cap. “Oh hello Pe- Mrs. Buttercup, Winona again?” “Yep, tussle with one’a the garden snakes again.” “Aah, well bring her in and I’ll have her sorted… You the new farmhoof?” The nurse said as she took Winona from Twilight. “In a sense I suppose,” Twilight said as she breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh well aren’t you something,” the nurse mare said, “you know I have an apprentice about your age… Why don’t you two chat while I fix up Winona here?” Twilight took a seat in the waiting area and found a pink filly reading in one of the seats, who looked up as the older mares trotted off to take care of the snakebitten puppy.  “H- Hello…” Twilight said cautiously. “Greetings,” the pink filly said in a strange, old-fashioned accent. “I assume you are from Sweet Apple Acres?” “Yeah I- uhm, Yeah I am…” “I was not aware the Apples had unicorns in their clan.” “Oh! Oh- no, no not like that!” Twilight waved her hooves in front of her. “I’m not- I’m not family I just… Live there…” The pink filly’s lips quivered, like she was laughing at a joke only she knew about. “I didn't mean to insinuate as such if you were so uncomfortable with the idea.” “No! It’s not that either, it’s just- I mean the Apples are nice but- No, I’m not family.” And in her head she added a quiet, “Unfortunately.” The pink filly set her book down as she looked up at Twilight. “Pardon my rudeness in not introducing mineself sooner, I am Pinkamena Diane Pie of House Pie. You may call me Mena, most ponies in town do.” “Uh, Twilight Sparkle…” “Well met then Twilight.” The pink filly smiled as she put out a hoof to shake which the purple filly took hesitantly. As she did, Twilight spied the book that Mena was reading. “Plants of the Everfree?” “Oh yes, a… different mentor of mine gave it to me for reading. Do you have a scholarly interest in the study as well?” “Oh! Uh, yeah actually… I mean it’s kind of why I’m at Sweet Apple Acres.” Twilight said with a giggle as she eased into familiar academic conversation. “I came to record the farm’s cultivars but, after the Zap Apple harvest I grew curious about the ecological symbiosis with the nearby Everfree. Although… I couldn’t find many books at the Ponyville Library on the subject, shame that.” A glint of interest flashed across Mena's eyes. “I have some reading that might be what you’re looking for.” “Oh that’d be wonderful! Remains to be seen if I’d be able to get through though, early fall harvest is coming up so I think it’ll be all hooves on deck.” The two older mares looked on at the filly’s excitedly sharing interests with each other with a smile, both happy their young one had found a friend their age.  ~~~ Dear Shining and Cadence, Congrats on the castle posting BBBFF! Must be an honor to be working so closely with the Princess’s personal guard, but guess you would be wondering what I’m up to. No, I don’t like Big Mac like that! He’s like… A second big brother, you’re obviously still first BBBFF but, it’s nice being around them, y’know?  My magic is still blocked and it’s not for lack of trying either. At least me being here at Sweet Apple Acres means that I’m not exactly pressed to do magic, I can get along just fine with my hooves. I think the early fall harvest is soon, I’m told it’s looking to be a big crop this year! It’s surreal to think I’ve already been here half a year, time sure has gone by fast!  Hope you and Cadence are doing well! Your Little Sister, Twilight *** Dear Twilight, Well, really the posting just seems like extra work right now, but I can talk with Cady during my shifts now which is nice! Very cute picture of Winona you sent. I'm a bit jealous since Mom and Dad would never agree to a pet in the house, but I’m glad you’re doing well for yourself at the farm.  Sorry to hear about the magical block sis, I’d ask Cady to write a bit since she might have better advice than me but she’s been busy unfortunately. Mom and Dad are doing well and are glad to hear you are too (don’t worry, it’s only the letters you said I could show them. The rest I’m keeping at my barracks). Stay safe and good luck with whatever harvest season entails! Your Big Brother Best Friend Forever,  Shining ~~~ A Few Days Later ~~~ Just like Twilight guessed, it was all hooves on deck as the Apple Family moved into harvest season. The purple filly desperately wanted to help but after one— admittedly spirited— attempt by Twilight to buck a tree yielded no results, she was relegated to apple hauling duty.  Twilight took up the task, at least happy she was being somewhat useful, but was still disappointed at failing again. And to top it all off her horn was buzzing like an angry wasp nest, her magic itching to be released again. Wiping her forehead with a hoof, Twilight dumped another two bushels off at the barn and pulled a clipboard from her saddlebags. Big Mac was a fine bucker, but inexperienced becoming the main harvester a mere year ago. Even with his mother’s help… The two wouldn’t be able to make it through the entire orchard before the fruit would start to rot on the branches.  Twilight snorted and stomped her hooves in frustration. She knew she wasn’t an earth pony and couldn’t do things like the Apples, but she felt so useless not being able to help with a problem she could see coming! In her exasperation, she kicked a nearby tree with a back hoof. She wasn’t really trying to applebuck but simply needed something to kick, so she was understandably surprised when she suddenly felt an apple hit her. Looking up in shock as she rubbed the back of her head she wondered how in Celestia’s name had she done that? Then she realized, the buzzing in her head was just a little bit, almost unnoticeably, quieter.  Glancing down at her forehooves she realized that she somehow channeled her magic, not through her horn, but her hooves. Grinning, she realized it was simply a question of figuring out how to do it again. But her enthusiasm dimmed when she didn’t know exactly how to go about that. Thinking back to earlier in the day, she tried to think of what she could do differently this time, when the voice of Mrs. Buttercup echoed in her head,  “Applebuckin’ ain’t only ‘bout the strength behind your kicks sugarcube, it’s about feelin’ the tree through y’hooves… A mite hard to explain but it’s like the ‘voice’ of the tree.” “Voice huh?” Twilight mumbled to herself as she trotted up to the tree. Laying a hoof on the bark, Twilight shut her eyes and took a deep breath. Suddenly she heard something echo deep inside her, she felt a smile creep to her face as she felt a connection spark. Turning around, Twilight bucked the tree with all her might. Like a shower of rain, apples fell down around her. Twilight whooped with joy as she pranced around, she did something right! She could help ponies! Unnoticed by the filly in her excitement was a flash of light under her saddlebags.  Twilight collected herself when she realized she forgot to set baskets for the apples. Flushed with embarrassment, she quickly collected the scattered fruit to bring to the barn before galloping off to the other side of the farm to show the Apples what she could do. ~~~ “Well! Looks like we made good progress today, even better with Twilight’s help.” Mrs. Buttercup’s words made the filly beam with pride. Twilight shed her saddlebags in a corner before noticing the star marks on her flank that weren’t there at the start of the day. She squealed in excitement which caught the attention of the Apples in the kitchen, who galloped into the living room to see what the commotion was about. Ironically enough, it was Big Mac who spoke first, “I’ll be…. Congrats Sparkles.” “Congratulations sugarcube,” Mrs. Buttercup said, “Ah was savin’ this for celebratin’ a year of you bein’ with us but Ah think it’d be better now.” The mare reached into her own saddlebag and pulled out an apple patterned bandana before handing it to Twilight. The filly could tell it was hoofmade as she felt the seams, “I- I don’t know what to say…” Twilight began “Think of it as a proper welcomin’ gift sugarcube,” Mrs. Buttercup said with a warm smile, but Twilight could tell she was holding herself back from more. Twilight felt herself tear up again as she gave the mare a hug, “Thank you Mrs. Buttercup… Really, thank you everypony for welcoming me into your home.” Mrs. Buttercup froze for a moment, before hugging the little filly back, “No problem at all sugarcube, no problem at all.” The rest of the apples piled in for a group hug as Twilight felt the biggest smile she ever had spread across her face. ~~~ Dear Sugarcube, We miss you down here in Ponyville but from what I’ve heard you’re doing well in the big city. Had a big harvest this fall but, the new bookkeeper we got can pull her weight as a farmfilly too. It really is a sight, especially since she’s a unicorn.  Brother Orange has told me you’ve been slipping away from the house, or apartment was his words. You should stick close, I don’t want you getting in trouble in the city but I know you’ve always had an adventurous spirit. I just hope the Oranges can keep an eye on you.  As always, you’re welcome to come back home if you need Sugarcube. Nopony’ll make you feel unwanted, you’re still my daughter. I love you, and stay safe. Mom *** Pear Butter quietly dropped off the Manehatten bound letter at the post office before trotting back to the farm. The apples wouldn’t buck themselves after all.