2. For the Want of Loyalty
“Mom… Dad… There's something I want to talk to you two about…”
Fluttershy had the pamphlet for the Rescue Fliers Camp tucked under her wing behind her.
“Oh! Of course dear, what would you like to talk about?” Rockcress Breeze asked her daughter.
“Well, with Rainbow… Dropping out, I thought it would be a good idea to- to change things too…”
~~~
Fluttershy stood in front of the gates to the camp, the grounds set up around where Cloudsdale moored during the winter, hence the name.
“Ok take a deep breath… I can do this… I can do this,” Fluttershy thought to herself as she steeled herself.
Taking that deep breath, she’d stepped forward- and immediately tripped.
Fluttershy chided herself and braced for the thump of clouds but it never came. Opening her eyes and turning around she’d be face-to-face with a navy blue mare with a shock of white hair.
She spoke with a noticeable Trotstonian accent, “Hiya! Bad luck to be trippin’ on the first day, isn’t it?”
The navy blue filly set Fluttershy down on the cloud and trotted next to her.
“O-oh, uh… I s-suppose it would be… Uhm, t-thank you,” Fluttershy stuttered out
She had an airy laugh, kinda like Rainbow, “Welcome! I’m Night Glider, one of the second-years. I assume you're a new first-year considerin’ I haven't seen ya around before?”
“O-oh yeah… I’m Fluttershy- Uh,” She cleared her throat with a laugh, “appropriate name huh?”
“Yeah, I’d say.” Night Glider responded frankly, but there wasn't any derision in her words. “So, what brings you to Wint’moor then?”
The two walked through the gates, pegasi ponies flying and laughing through the air.
“Oh. Well- I came from Cloudsdale Flight… A friend actually recommended me to, uh, here,” Fluttershy hid behind her bangs.
“Ah, Cloudsdale Flight… Y’know I’ve heard stories, it true it’s full of showboats?” Night Glider asked with an easy smile.
This was new… Somepony who wasn’t Rainbow Dash she was comfortable around. Despite her nerves, she found herself giggling.
“Yeah, not- not too far off actually.”
“Damn, way to throw them under the bus pegasister!”
“O-oh… I didn't mean-”
Fluttershy started to apologize but Night Glider cut her off.
“Relax, relax. I’m just foolin’ around! No need to defend yourself if you have friends there.”
“A-actually… Not anymore.”
“Oh. They wash out?”
“No, just… An accident happened.”
“Ah, sorry to hear.”
The two walked in silence for a bit, Fluttershy chiding herself for making things awkward so soon after meeting.
Night Glider spoke up again, “So where ya headin’ then?”
Fluttershy pulled out the letter she got from the camp, “Oh uh… I’m assigned to… The 33rd Trainer Squad. I hope they're nice…”
“No kiddin’? That’s mine actually, glad to have you!”
“O-oh! Thank you…”
“C’mon, I’ll show you to the bunks!”
~~~
Fluttershy stood in line up with the other foals in her squad, all blank flanks like her.
“Alright, settle down everypony. And don’t worry about standing at attention, just a loose circle,” an adult pegasus said as she came into view of the foals.
She had cyan hair and a magenta coat, medical cross cutie mark clear on her side.
“So my little ponies, I’ll be your instructor, my name is Ms. Tenderhoof.” She took a breath. “Now, some of you are here to learn how to rescue ponies.”
Beside Fluttershy, a short slate gray pony stood a little straighter.
Ms. Tenderhoof continued, “This camp was your first choice for some of you… But it would be remiss of me to think that’s why all of you are here. Some of you have washed out of Cloudsdale’s programs-”
It was blunt but true. Fluttershy wanted to disappear as she hid behind her bangs, but she realized that some of the others seemed to share her sentiment.
“-and there’s no shame in that. I’m a washout myself actually.”
That revelation got everypony’s attention as they looked back up at Tenderhoof.
“This is not a remedial camp, this is a flight camp the same as any other. Some of you may go on to take part in the weather teams, and some of you may continue to work in flight rescue. No matter where your paths take you, know this. The most important thing I can impress on all of you…”
Tenderhoof pointed a hoof around the room, “Is that you are a squad. You may not understand what that means now, but you will.”
Tenderhoof paused, “Now with that out of the way, let's do some introductions. Names and why you’re here, who’s first?”
Tenderhoof looked around the room and Fluttershy averted her eyes. Mercifully the slate gray pony next to her stood, she was… Even shorter than her actually.
“I’ll go first! My name is Paperweight! I came here because I wanted to help ponies like my father in Canterlot!”
“Like dear old pops?” Night Glider asked.
Paperweight nodded, “Yep! He’s in the EUP, but I want to be more… Hooves-on in helping ponies.”
“That’s why lots of us do this kid, what about you then?” Tenderhoof looked to Night Glider.
“Oh me? Haha well- I’m Night Glider, some of yous know me, wish I had a good reason like that but… Nah I was a washout too. ”
Fluttershy looked over at Night Glider in surprise, she was a washout? She didn't carry herself like one.
“Couldn't keep up with the intensity.” The navy blue filly continued. “But hey! I can keep up here, yeah?”
“That’s the idea,” Tenderhoof nodded and looked at a yellow filly.
She scoffed and stood up, “I’m Sunshower… Same here, I'm a washout too… Me and my friend Open Skies- we were both recommended here by our teacher…”
The filly looked across the way to the other first-year foal next to Fluttershy, a blue colt who looked similarly downtrodden. Fluttershy swallowed but before she could open her mouth a mint green foal threw a leg around Sunshower, much to the latter's chagrin.
“Hey, cheer up! Like Night over there said, no reason you can’t still learn a thing or two here! I’m Leaf Whistle, I’m here to help ponies too!”
Before Tenderhoof could say anything, Leaf Whistle looked at Fluttershy and flashed a grin, “So… What about you?”
“U-uh… My name is Fluttershy… I- I’m here because- Uh-”
She was floundering and with all the eyes on her, she wanted to run. Shrinking in, the cream-colored pegasus hid behind her bangs…
“Oh this was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here…” She thought to herself. “I can’t do this! I-”
Her thoughts were cut off by a gentle touch to her shoulder.
“Hey, you don’t have to tell if you don’t want to alright?” It was Night Glider.
“She’s only just met me and- she’s so nice…” Fluttershy thought as she took a deep breath.
“N-no, no I can tell. I… It’s alright.” Fluttershy stood up and faced the small crowd. “Uh, my name is Fluttershy and… I’m here to make up for something I did to a friend of mine.”
Tenderhoof only nodded, “Glad to meet all of you, and I hope you all get to know each other well. So! How about we get down to business then? Everypony get ready for a quick lap around, get our blood pumping.”
The magenta pegasus stood up and beat her wings as she waved a hoof to the open hangar door.
~~~ Two Weeks Later ~~~
“C'mon! Hustle! I know you all have a bit more to give!” Ms. Tenderhoof shouted from the front of the formation.
Fluttershy’s wings were burning but, despite it all, she felt a grin spread across her face. Dash was right about the new faces, nopony here looked down on her for lagging behind, and she was even starting to tire out some of the others.
Ms. Tenderhoof brought the group down, the soft cloud an appreciated relief to the tired foals.
“Great work team! Let's take 10 then get to strength training, at this rate, you’ll be ready for scenario training by the end of the week,” the instructor said before the foals trotted off to grab water.
“This is a lot more demanding than Cloudsdale Flight’s usual…” Sunshower muttered as Open Skies tossed her a water bottle.
“Well, we’re not Cloudsdale!” Leaf Whistle flashed a grin as they took a swig of their water. “Whoever can’t cut flying the fastest, Cloudsdale forgets about.”
Sunshower scoffed, “Preachin’ to the choir bud… Hey Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy, somehow not jumping in surprise, looked back, “Eep! Uh yeah?”
Sunshower didn’t comment on the reaction as she instead asked, “How much Endurance flight did you do at CF?”
“O-oh uh… Well, I never really- I was never really part of those exercises…”
“Wait really?! You’ve been outpacing me an’ Open on the 5k flights… Well, almost every time!”
Fluttershy whipped her head up with incredulity, had she heard that right?
Open Skies picked up what Sunshower was asking, “And you say you didn't train up before this?”
“Uh, w-well no I never- I never got to that… They- the instructors I mean, never put me past basic flight training,” Fluttershy answered blinking in confusion.
“Dang Fluttershy… You're gonna be lapping all of us without breaking a sweat soon,” Open Skies said with clear admiration in his voice.
Fluttershy could only stare blankly as she tried to process what her wingmates said. She was a pony they were looking up to?!
Before she could say anything to convince the squad she wasn't anypony special, Ms. Tenderhoof called out about break being over and to gather around for swooping dives.
~~~
“And it’s weird! I’m- I’m not the dead weight that can't fly anymore… In fact, some of the others seem to think I'm some- some kind of prodigy!” Fluttershy giggled nervously as she put a hoof on her head. “I uh- I don't know Dash… It just feels weird… Like I don't deserve it.”
Dash looked up from the drawing she was scribbling on the back of one of her worksheets, “Don't say that Flutters! You just… Aren't used to the praise yet, just shows that Wintermoor sees the potential that I did!”
“Maybe… Maybe you're right, Dash. What‘s that you're drawing anyway?”
“Oh this? Ah it's nothing… Just- it’s nothing special,” Dash said as she folded the paper and half and tossed it on the bedside table with her wing.
~~~ 3 Weeks Later ~~~
One of the colts Fluttershy’s squad was working with landed awkwardly and twisted his hoof.
“Damn, that was a fall!” Leaf Whistle said in a loud whisper.
Open Skies and Paperweight giggled while Night Glider tried to shush the two, “Cut it out you two… I should probab-”
What Night Glider was cut off by the sudden gust from Fluttershy taking off as the yellow pony flew down to the colt cradling their leg.
Like second nature, Fluttershy put a hoof on the colt’s shoulders and helped pull him onto his haunches. Then mustering confidence that even she wasn't expecting, she said, “Hey, just keep talking. What's your name?”
“Cobalt Blaze,” the colt replied shakily.
“That's a nice name,” Fluttershy said as she gave an easy smile, the same one she saw on Night Glider so often, “Hey look up at me, don’t look at your hoof. You’ll be ok.”
The colt winced but looked up, “Yeah- yeah…”
A soft thump caught the two’s attention as both turned to see Ms. Tenderhoof land next to them.
“...A little bit of space Fluttershy?” Tenderhoof said in a soft but firm tone.
“Ah! I uh- right, sorry…” She responded as she backed off and hid behind her bangs.
As her teacher asked the colt what had happened and checked him over, Fluttershy couldn’t help but kick herself mentally for jumping in heedlessly. Her spiral stopped when Tenderhoof’s clear voice called out to her.
“-Fluttershy! You help me bring Cobalt Blaze here to the camp clinic. Both of you understand that?”
Fluttershy heard Night Glider call back behind her, “Yes Ma’am!”
There was evidently more to what Ms. Tenderhoof had said that Fluttershy didn’t hear while she was kicking herself, “Oh- Uh… R-right!”
Shaking herself back to the present, Fluttershy looped herself under the colt’s good side as the three took off for the camp doctor.
~~~
With the colt getting patched up, Fluttershy and Tenderhoof stepped out of the clinic, the young filly lagging behind.
“I uh- I need to apologize before we go back Ms. Tenderhoof…” Fluttershy said softly.
The teacher looked back in confusion, “Apologize? What for?”
“For jumping in recklessly… I- I should have waited for you instead of uh- instead of trying to- What I'm saying is I'm sorry for getting in your way…”
“Getting in- Oh, oh I see what’s happened.”
“You- you see… What?”
“Fluttershy, you don't know first aid procedure yet, correct?”
“N-no Ms. Tenderhoof… You were going to teach us… Tomorrow?”
“Yes, it's in the schedule but that's not what I wanted to focus on. You didn’t know, which is why I needed to ask for space.”
“Ah so I was in the way…
“No, not at all Fluttershy… Actually, you showed the potential of a real flight rescue pony today.”
“I- I did?!”
“No doubt, tell me Fluttershy. When Cobalt Blaze crashed, what was your first thought?”
“I Uh- My first thought was to see if he was ok?”
“But you didn’t only think, did you? You sprung into action, you made an effort to fly down and see if a colt you didn't know was badly hurt.”
“I- I mean I was just doing what anypony should do…”
“Not everypony would, some freeze up. But in the heat of the moment, you remembered what I already taught you. You did everything right in calming him down before I landed.”
Fluttershy paused. Wait, she had done everything by the book.
“And it looks like you just realized that now,” Tenderhoof said with a knowing smile.
“I- uh,” Fluttershy responded intelligently.
“C’mon then let's head back, I'm sure Night Glider can't keep everypony on track for much longer.”
Ms. Tenderhoof lifted off for the training field leaving no room for Fluttershy to argue
~~~
“And she said I was- I was kind of a natural rescue pony!” Fluttershy said incredulously, “I mean… You know I’m the biggest scaredy cat out there!”
Dash glanced up from her book at Fluttershy with an odd look on her face.
“No… Don’t say it,” Fluttershy raised a hoof in anticipation knowing exactly what was about to come out of her friend’s mouth.
With a cheeky grin Dash said, “Oh? It’s almost like I knew you had it in you.”
Fluttershy nickered with annoyance, “I’m being serious Dash! I shouldn’t- I’m not a pony who should get to be admired! I’ll probably- I don’t know- mess up when somepony really needs me!”
“Flutters, take a second to breathe alright? And besides, it’s only been- what a month? Month and a half. You’ll be fine, you're all learning right? You just… Had a head start!”
“I don't know. It's just- being called a natural just- It doesn't sit right.”
“Hey from the stories you've told me you're starting off stronger than I did so it's not wrong.”
Fluttershy sighed in annoyance but didn't want to continue arguing, “Fine, fine… What’s that book you’ve been reading by the way? I've seen you with it every time I’ve visited this week.”
Dash looked down like she just remembered she was holding it and shoved it under her pillow, “Oh! Nothing, nothing… Just some- boring story that a nurse dropped off. Dashing Dart or- something-”
It was Fluttershy’s turn for a knowing smirk as Dash continued to try and feign disinterest.
~~~ 5 Months Later ~~~
“Congratulations Trainees! You have made some great strides these last few months, and for some of you, the potential for training command next year,” Ms. Tenderhoof said to the amassed squad.
Paperweight and Night Glider both stood proudly at the front of the line with Fluttershy smiling softly.
“Now, something special due to the outstanding performance of the squad, one of the full-time weather and rescue teams has permitted a short sortie to the nearby Everfree Forest.”
Murmurs of nervousness floated from the squad, Fluttershy in particular went pale as a sheet on hearing where they were going.
“Don’t worry everypony, the team surveyed the area in advance and they’ll keep it clear of beasties,” Ms. Tenderhoof reassured the group. “However this will be a live exercise. You all know the drill, keep chatter to a minimum. This evening we will be using the group call sign Kodiak, now a quick check before we dust off everypony.”
“Kodiak One check,” Night Glider said with gusto.
Paperweight echoed, “Kodiak Two ready!”
“Kodiak Three, check-check,” Leaf Whistle responded.
“Kodiak Four and Five check,” Open Skies said for himself, and Sunshower.
Fluttershy took one last deep breath and finished the call, “Kodiak Six check… We- Kodiak team is ready!”
~~~
Far from the cadets taking off, deep in the Everfree, an Ursa Minor slept soundly until a flittering spark of strange magic, chaotic magic, landed on the cub’s nose. Its eyes flew open and it growled with displeasure at the disturbance. The cub didn’t know what disturbed its slumber, but it growled as it stalked out of its cave looking to find anything to blame for its rude awakening.
~~~
Ms. Tenderhoof had slowly descended to just above tree level, looking around quickly before giving the signal to land on one of the few paths deeper into the Everfree.
“Everypony accounted for?” She asked to the response of quick nods from the foals, “Alright good. Now stay together. While the Everfree is dangerous, you will all have to be somewhat familiar as many of our rescue calls do come from here.”
Ms. Tenderhoof continued her lesson as the group walked, occasionally pointing out landmarks or particularly dangerous flora, the foals listening intently with most of the messing around tamped down by the atmosphere of the Everfree.
“And this cliff is marked on most maps as ‘Tumble Ridge’ and I won’t get too much into the history but-” Ms. Tenderhoof was interrupted by a stomp and deep rumble as everypony turned to look at the tree line. Spooked birds flew from the trees as the stomps grew closer. Open Skies and Sunshower pulled each other close, Night Glider choked down a gulp of fear, Paperweight took a stuttering step away from the trees, and even Leaf Whistle was stunned into silence. As for Fluttershy, well, she was completely frozen in fear.
The stomping grew louder and louder before a coat of stars emerged from the tree line, a coat of stars with angry eyes.
“That’s an Ursa Minor… Everypony stay very still and quiet… And we will back away slowly,” Ms. Tenderhoof took a deep breath and gestured to the foals to back up the way they came. Terrified, they all heeded her warning, the Ursa Minor stared down the ponies but wasn’t attacking… Until Night Glider misplaced her hoof and knocked a rock down the ridge.
A beat of silence as the clicking of rocks slowly grew into a crescendo of sound. One that was only matched by the Ursa Minor roaring with rage as it swiped at the closest pony to it: Ms. Tenderhoof.
The teacher was thrown like a ragdoll, a wicked slash across her body as she fell limply in front of the foals groaning in pain. That finally sent them into a panic.
Open Skies and Sunshower screamed, Night Glider whipped her head around frantically, Paperweight rushed to Ms. Tenderhoof’s side and tried futilely to push her up, and Leaf Whistle blubbered with panic. In the midst of all this noise, Fluttershy remained frozen.
“Just like the race.” A voice in her head jeered.
“You froze then too. And how did that end?”
Time felt like it slowed to a crawl, Fluttershy seeing everything in horrifying clarity as the voice in her head continued to mock her.
“Poor, poor Fluttershy. Too scared to fly!”
The Ursa Minor roared and Fluttershy felt like burying her head in her hooves.
“So is this how you’ll live Fluttershy? Too scared to ever help anypony? What did Ms. Tenderhoof ever see in you? What did Rainbow Dash ever see in you?”
Something in Fluttershy snapped, “No… No! Not again!”
Gritting her teeth, Fluttershy forced her hooves to move as she shouted to the rest of her squad, codenames be damned, “Night Glider! Leaf! Help Paperweight get Ms. Tenderhoof up! Sunshower and Skies! Fly ahead and find help!”
Spreading her wings, she didn’t leave any room for argument as she made it clear what she was going to do. Her front legs shook like leaves in the wind but she tamped down her fear.
“GO!” was her final shout before the rest of the squad lept out of their stunned state and into action.
Fluttershy beat her wings and lifted off, getting right in the Ursa Minor’s muzzle, “Hey Big and Twinkly! Eyes over here!”
The Ursa Minor roared at the new loudest thing in its vision as it swiped for Fluttershy, but she was giving everything she got as she pumped her wings and flew past the cub’s head. The latter growled as it turned to chase her back into the trees.
Darting between the trunks trying to put as much distance between her squad and the cub, Fluttershy pulled a dangerous balancing act. Far enough from the Ursa that she wouldn’t suffer the same injuries as her teacher while at the same time keeping the cub's attention. Vines and branches clipped and struck her, but she gritted her teeth and kept flying until she found herself blocked by a part of the forest too dense to fly through. She had flown herself into a corner and the only way back out was through the Ursa Minor. She was still scared, terrified even, but something else burned within her heart as she pumped her wings and turned to face the Ursa.
“No more running.”
The Ursa caught up to Fluttershy and roared but she held firm, tensed like a spring.
The Ursa Minor lunged at the cream pony and she reciprocated, dashing past the beast’s muzzle and into a tree. Instead of crashing she sprung off the trunk like a diving board, her momentum hurtling her past the beast and into another tree.
The Ursa Minor was menacing, but Fluttershy had speed on her side as she pinballed off the trees of the forest. The beast roared and swatted at the blur, but it kept slicing through air.
The Ursa roared, disoriented and frustrated. Fluttershy’s kicks splintered bark as she edged out just a tiny bit more speed, her dashes almost seemed to drag the very air along with her as a halo of white surrounded her.
The Ursa’s last swipe was its undoing as it stumbled forward, dazed and disoriented, the beast slumped forward and gave a low growl from its new headache. Fluttershy slammed into a tree and instead of pinballing off, grappled onto a branch and caught her breath, relief flooded through her body seeing the exhausted Ursa.
She slowly flew through the branches of the tree until she was above the canopy, before flying back to find her squad.
“Hey kid, wait!” A voice behind Fluttershy shouted out, “Hey! Were you with the Trainer Squad?”
Fluttershy turned to see a stallion with a red vest, connecting the dots she realized this must have been one of the supervisor rescue ponies.
“My teacher got injured! I bought time for my squad but-” Fluttershy started but was cut off.
“Yeah, we found them earlier when a local apothecary hut contacted us about an injured pony brought in by a bunch of foals. They said one of theirs bought them time for them to run, I assume that’s you?”
“Yes, Flu- Kodiak Six,” Fluttershy sighed with relief hearing that her friends and teacher made it out safely, completely missing the flash of light at her side.
“Well, let’s get you back with them kid… And congrats on getting your cutie mark.”
“Huh?” Fluttershy looked down to see three stars emblazoned on her flank, “Huh…”
~~~
Fluttershy and the rest of her team stood at the foot of Ms. Tenderhoof’s bed as she addressed them.
“Fluttershy.” Ms. Tenderhoof looked like a mummy so heavily wrapped in bandages. “The rest of your squad filled me in. That was incredibly dangerous what you did… But also, incredibly brave. You acted heroically in the face of fear and saved not only my life but the lives of your squad.”
She took a breath, “This is normally reserved for 3rd year students but this is an extraordinary circumstance. Fluttershy.”
The cream filly stood straighter.
“You are hereby given the official callsign Dauntless.” Ms. Tenderhoof said with formality, before she shifted back to the teacher’s tone Fluttershy had grown used to over the last few months, “Congratulations Fluttershy, I hope that I’ll be able to watch your progress. Besides, you got one rescue under your belt now.”
The rest of her squad clapped her on the back and congratulated her on both her cutie mark and the honor of a callsign, and despite it all Fluttershy grinned with abandon.
Hey readers! So I know I said in the first chapter I would be doing a bulk drop for chapters but I said that so that I could give the impression of weekly uploads. I really quickly realized I didn't want to set and keep up with that expectation as I am also in college so, yeah chapters will come when they come I suppose.
Anyway, back on the topic of the story, the next member of this "Nail Six" I'll be tackling is Pinkamena! Hm... Gotta be a way to shorten that 
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Hey there. Really good job on the exchanges, characterizations, (limited amounts of) action and future chapter set-up. REALLY appreciated Fluttershy's introduction to her training squad as well as their supportive reactions to her progress and her overcoming her fears enough to distract the Ursa Minor long enough for her squad to make it to safety. And she got her Cutie Mark in the process.
REALLY looking forward to more of this not just Pinkamena next chapter, but also the rest of the "Nail Six"
Discord ?
More good
Ok this is definitely an interesting premise on the "what if..." writing trope! I like it! Patiently waiting for more to come.
Amazing chapter, as usual.:D
11709728
I honestly would not be surprised if he has a talon in this. For all that he is Disharmony and Chaos, he is not above nudging things to keep stuff interesting. And what would be more interesting than messing with Harmonies plans? Besides, for all that he makes messes, he is rather fond of the world existing and being alive. Kinda hard to have that without the final line of defense...
Loyal Fluttershy. That works.
Great chapter! It sounds like Rainbow Dash may go into the arts now hmm? Can't wait to see what happens next! (I will always be here for each update because I have this story in Tracking
)
I just noticed something:
In the cover image, everyone's cutie marks are visible except Rainbow Dash's... Would this in any way imply that Rainbow never gets her cutie mark and remains a blank flank for life because of this major shift in events? Hmm, I guess we shall see at some point
11710031
Glad I hooked you so quickly then! And perhaps so, Dash does have a bit of a blank canvas in a sense for what she could do for her life now
11709908
Loyalty has to kick things off after all, just in a different way this time lol
11709717
Glad I made the rescue squad memorable and sold Flutters camaraderie with them well! Also, one of their names foreshadows a fun twist down the line if you recognize which one
My compliments to the chef... I mean author. Seriously, I usually avoid any kind of AU stories regarding the beginning of the show, all to often they're either my OC is the most important character ever'' or 'my favorite ponies become the mane six', and are about as well written as this sounds. Not sure why I gave this a chance, but the first chapter had me feeling I should give it a chance, and now I'm sure that was the right choice, and I'm looking forward to where this is going.
Hooves-on maybe?
As for Pinkie Pie Nicknames, maybe Pinka? or Mina? Short for Pinkamenia that's not Pinkie
Also, great story!
11710162
Whoops! That made it past beta reading!
But also, Pinkamena's nickname has been decided for a while but you did get pretty close on one of your guesses!
11710146
Hey, thanks for giving it a shot and glad I didn't dissapoint!
So, any idea if we'll see how the later characters like Sunset (who was initially jealous of Twilight for replacing her as Celestia's student) or Starlight (who tried to tamper with time with this event and also had her life impacted by Twilight) are affected too by the turn in events?
Oh my gosh!!! Fluttershy as the Element of Loyalty??
Love these new characters and I hope we get to see more of them! Night Glider seems very cool and has a lot of potential
Also enjoying the setup for what may be a nerdy/geeky, maybe even artsy Rainbow? There are lots of other little seeds planted in here too, like the mention of chaos magic... how curious... the anticipation builds!
11710162 I agree, 'hooves-on' would be the correct idiom.
11710031 I could see that working. She has the imagination and love of adventure to invent cool stories, even if she no longer wants to live them. Given her love of pranks, she might well be laughter, bringing joy to ponies through her stories.
11710353
Yep yep. 1 element down, 5 to go
A few of the Rescue Ponies are new minor OCs but some of these are named background ponies, one of them even has a little foreshadowing Easter Egg
Ah I'm holding myself back from talking about Rainbow's Arc cus she's getting the last chapter of the "How the Nail Six got their Cutie Mark" chapters so I don't want to give away too much prematurely, but I am intentionally leaving just. Little seeds of foreshadowing, some will come up later rather than sooner like the spark of strange magic and that name I mentioned
And the second chapter drops with Loyalty as usual starting things off! Our Fluttershy grew so much in a 6 month period and I'm very proud of her.
Story is of course getting started but we're off to a great start in that. Totally reasonable for Fluttershy to want to maybe transfer especially after Rainbow was put slightly out of the picture and I'm sure her parents both understand and support her.
The rescue squad stuff was awesome and you really conveyed it in a very believable way in my opinion, and Night Glider, my favorite, I have to give props to her for giving Shy the best first impression of Camp Wintermoor she could possibly have! Leaf whistle was fun, so was the rest of the squad, and Tenderhoof was *Chef's kiss*
I do also really love the Flutterdash intermissions, they're a good point to step back and reflect a bit plus we get more of Rainbow before her chapter which is always fun. 10/10 love those bits.
The Cobalt Blaze thing was also really sweet and the later scene where Fluttershy was apologizing probably was what cemented Tenderhoof to me as a good one. On the topic of rescuing, the Ursa Minor scene was phenomenal, loved it a lot though I may be biased. I do genuinely wonder how Discord fit's in to all this. He's not exactly a major player by the time of these events but as an AU it's understandable his influences are there.
Other than that, not much else really, the cutie mark scene was cute of course and the designation of the callsign to Fluttershy was honestly really cool! Dauntless indeed humu humu.
Overall a very good chapter to really kick things off, which thematically fits and lays the foundation for the rert of the Mane 6 to follow. And I loved it very much. Cheers!
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Rainbow Dash is becoming the nerd it seems, and drawing that she doesn't want to show anyone? I think it's clothes design and she might be taking over Generrosity
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Generosity would make a lot of sense, given how she's keeping herself on the sidelines and uplifting Flutters! It's interesting to see RD in this supportive role, and while her ego has definitely been knocked down a peg, she does still seem to have some of her characteristic confidence in regard to her advice- and support-giving skills ;p
While we're on Element predictions, I'm especially curious about what Pinkamena's will be. My current guess is a tossup between Magic and Honesty. I can see Magic based on her design in the cover image, and because that could be an interesting play on Pinkie sense or fourth-wall-breaking or general Pinkamena Diane Pie weirdness. But, her interaction with her father in Chapter 1 also leads me to think Honesty is a possibility, from how honest she is with her feelings. And I feel like this Pinkamena is particularly able to see through to the truth of things, and likely very matter-of-fact. We shall see, we shall see
Edit: Hmm, on re-visiting the first chapter, I'm settling more on Honesty for Pinkamena. I suspect she will be trying to pursue the truth about the timeline in some way, and the words honest/honesty appear multiple times in her section. Rarity in fact seems the most likely candidate for Magic, what with "magical surges" and all of that.
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I agree with Honesty for Pinkie Pie. Rairty also is Magic because magic is a unicorn thing and with it not being Twilight I'm guessing, also if you look at the cutie marks/expressions on the cover art, Rarity's cutie mark is similar to Starlight Glimmers, so that backs me up there. It honestly makes me wonder if the author is just switching the Elements of the characters with the same species. Rarity is Magic (most likely) and Fluttershy I think is loyalty, and with Applejack being in such a good mood on the cover it makes me wonder if She is going to be Laughter while Pinkie Pie is Honesty. Rainbow Dash could either be Generosity or Kindness depending on whether or not she just switched with Fluttershy, and that would determine that the leftover Element would be Twilights. So my final guesses are
1. Fluttershy/Loyalty
2. Rarity/Magic
3. Pinkie Pie/Honesty
4. Applejack/Laughter
5. Rainbow Dash/Generosity
6. Twilight/Kindness
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Well, I will confirm some weirdness on the cover isn't magic, but it is weirdness. How that'll pan out will be revealed in the next chapter :P
(Hint: Someone in the comments got the reference for the cover in chapter one
)
Great start. You definitely have a good handle on sceneplay and flow of action, something the original this based off didn't nail down. In Minor Variation, it got easier to read and keep track of things towards the middle, but then fell apart in that regard towards the end, among other flaws. I'm also pleasantly surprised you didn't opt for including another mcguffin to replace the Rainboom. That was another thing that held it back. It was regularly calling back to canon without making much of anything about it, other than acknowledging that was what happened canonically in the 1st place, which was basically pointless fan service.
Needless to say, this was a great followup. Hope to read more!
Great job on you new chapter, I like it!
So far I like that you're not just making one character into a copy of another. Like here with fluttershy, she's still fluttershy and doing something that's very fluttershy, but at the same time she's not the meek little butter horse we saw in the show.
very interested to see the next 5 examples
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That was the intention going in and something I'm trying to keep in mind while I write this. To steal a little bit of a metaphor from the show's timeline hopping...
Think of it less like seeing these characters through a mirror, and more a pond reflection. They have the same base "parts" so to speak, but it's their different environments that will shape them into very different ponies.
Tl:dr I'm running off "Same nature, different nurture" logic.
More please
I love this take on alt-Fluttershy's career. It seems to a be logical choice, since courage, after all, is not a lack of fear, but being able to overcome fear.
And canon Fluttershy has always been capable of that when the ponies she loved were in danger.
At first I thought RD would just replace Rarity in fashion or something else artistic, but now I'm wondering if she is going to be some kind of engineer or smart pony like Twilight who studies science or something.
Scratch that, maybe she's an architect! Cause she was reading something about advanced flying stuff now she's drawing, so maybe either something artistic or something like blueprints
Scratch that maybe a writer or an author! Because she was inspired by the daring Do stories! Man I'm all over in my theories-
My current bedtime reading. Loving this so far!