- Member Since 23rd May, 2013
- offline last seen 11 hours ago
dirty little secret
I tried so far… and got so hard… but in the end, it didn't even matter at all. (Direct Support)
dirty little secret
Joined 23rd May, 2013 ·
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Poor girl she has no idea what was on those coupons that they were meant for a romantic relationship that he was hoping to start with rarity but he never thought she realize how he felt without a huge clue since he didn't have the courage to outright say it. Unfortunately he didn't count on her giving them away to everyone.
very good
11598813
Eh, I'm pretty sure Rarity knew what was on those coupons.
She's just far too generous to hoard something like that all to herself, though! ^.^
11598880
Thanks! ^.^ What's your favorite part?
11598918
And she doesn't know why spike gave such things to her? I really think if she doesn't like him that way the most generous thing she could do for him is let him find love instead of dreaming that she will notice him like he notices her. And the poor girl I was talking about was twilight. She would have freaked out if she had seen what was on some of those coupons she still thinks of spike as sweet innocent baby dragon. More like a preteen who has discovered girls.
11598923
Heh, it's porno logic, okay?
11598918
that ending with twilight
Felt kinda lackluster, honestly.
~Skeeter The Lurker
11598923
This could also be a part of a longer story where Rarity explains to him she understood his intent, but couldn't see far enough past his nose to get the firm "no" she was trying to send. So instead she distributes the coupons with the hope/knowledge that this will end his infatuation when he realizes how many different types of mares in both body and personality that are just as compatible if not more so.
11599308
That could be good.
It felt like this story ended abruptly. There's no real sense of resolution on the main plot line involving Spike waiting for Rarity to use a coupon. Sure, Cadence explains Rarity gave most of them to her, but no real reason why. Did Rarity do it because she's telling Spike she doesn't feel the same way? Is it because she wants Spike to please other mares before her and she saves one for herself to begin their relationship?
If it's the former, there should've been a confrontation with Spike and Rarity about her saying she couldn't say it to his face. It's gotta also be heartbreaking to Spike to know she did it in a way that got his hopes up and then just slowly crushed them by giving them away like that.
If it's the latter, the same idea about Rarity and Spike talking and Rarity saying she wanted Spike to have some fun her friends before they become a couple and uses the romantic dinner to begin their relationship. She could've even done this to get an idea about how good Spike can make a lady feel before she moves in on him.
The story just feels like it stop so suddenly. It's like watching a good TV show and you're waiting for a plot line you like to be resolved and then the show is canceled. You had a good premise, but it felt like it ended much sooner than it should've been. It felt like it needed another chapter or two to wrap up everything.
This was good but way too short and needs a sequel. Perhaps Cadence can loan out a few of those coupons around Ponyville strategically so rumour spreads to Rarity about what a sex god Spike is.
She might then ask Cadence for those coupons back only for her to refuse. Perhaps Cadence can then trade some of the Spike coupons back in exchange for Rarity giving Cadence other coupons that work for her.
Then Cadence could cash a Spike coupon and a Rarity coupon in at one point for a threesome. Then because Rarity wasted her gift to Spike (and because she’s still the Princess of Love) she gives half of Rarity’s coupons to spike
Also I wasn’t entirely clear as to whether Shining and Cadence were cheating on each other or simply had an open relationship.
11599373
11599375
There should be a sequel, Spike needs to confront Rarity, and give up on her too from the sound of it.
Maybe on his birthday he can give away her gift.
Not bad, but seems to be setting up something much bigger. This needs a sequel!
Sexy. I loved the little spice between twilight and her brother.
I just noticed, and, bear with me...
9,999 words...
You, are eeeeevil...
...
I like it!
11599373
Alright, calm down. This isn't your story where Spike is the villain and manipulates everyone like Roman Reigns.
Sequel?
A fun fic yes, but something about the plot with Rarity irks for some reason. Unsure why.
11599939
That's arguably my biggest problem with this story. There's no resolution as to why Rarity did this. Is she telling Spike she doesn't feel the same way through this? Is it because she wants to know if Spike is so good in bed and treats a lady right before she uses a coupon herself to begin their relationship? Never told because the story stops so suddenly without any real resolution.
11599411
11599442
I hereby give anyone interested permission to write a sequel, lol!
11599221
Hm... Maybe because I was struggling to fit it in within the word count limit? Or maybe I've just lost my edge...
11599308
So, pretty much Rebound?
11599336
Yeah, lol... This story concept was probably a bit too ambitious to try to squeeze into this contest's 10k word limit. Toward the end, I was in full panic mode because it was already at 13k words and I had to end it as soon as I possibly could.
And then I had to go back and cut out a lot in order to make it fit.
11599625
You know me ... I can never resist a bit of Sparklecest when there's a good opportunity...
11599687
Well, that's what happens when a contest has a 10,000 word limit and my story is too ambitious for that word count, lol!
Maybe it's just a coincidence, but it's also cool that my 99th story (published under this account) has 9999 words.
11599737
I don't know where everybody gets the idea that Spike is a sex god, anyway...
11599752
c.tenor.com/f_Mhfr-5yB0AAAAC/tenor.gif
Well, unless my SubscribeStar supporters ask for it...
11599939
Yeah ... it might not be the most thoroughly thought-out plot device, lol.
Rarity is being kind of a dick in this story. And not in the good way.
11600069
I blame the contest's 10,000 word limit!
(Certainly not my own questionable writing skills!)
11600221
Well, that's a damn shame. Not blaming your writing skills, but hopefully a sequel will spawn from this.
11600207
>word count
That's probably it.
~Skeeter The Lurker
So when the contest is over, this story will be 13k words long, right? Please?
Oof... Even from this side of my phone I could hear Spike's youthful exuberance smashing against the brick wall of Rarity's hidden ambivalence.
Dirty fun. Twilight’s naive and yet not so innocent behavior was intriguing.
Oh, is that why Cadance can get in only 4 sessions? She's already having to share? The poor lady... No wonder she needed those coupons!
11600221
And yet, you still crammed all the really important stuff in, just like Cadance before she left.
This is a terrible story analogy, but I'm sticking to it!
11600895
It really could use a resolution scene with Rarity...
11600913
Naive but not innocent is such a fun combination! ^.^
11600921
Well, if things are that sticky on your end, I must have done a good job writing it!
I loved where this story was going, at first, but now I am just disappointed at the end. Spike gave sexy coupons to Rarity in some hope that it might result in a relationship happening, instead Rarity being Rarity, gives it to others cause she cant be bothered to tell him a yes or no just like he cant grow a spine to ask her out, everyone he knows gets the coupons and cashes them in then Cadance arrives with what might as well be most of the coupons for some cheating fun with our favorite dragonboi, find out that Twilight and Shining committing the incest tango under the table, Spike fucks our love princess's brains out, happy couple leaves, Twilight being either naive or just wants Spike to have a little bit of a happy break with breakfast in bed.
In all I really wished it had an actual ending, the thing about writing contests with word limits is that the story you are trying to write has to have an actual ending, like an abrupt end with no real conclusion or reconciliation. Its good, not great cause of the lack of ending.
11601260
Yeah, lol ... unfortunately, it just wouldn't fit. And I didn't want to have to cut away half of the previous chapters to make room.
Honestly, this story idea was probably just too ambitious for 10k words.
11601270
Too ambitious for us mortals to enjoy, but it could become a sequel of sorts. That or a sequel that is a part 2 for the contest.
11601246
You, ummm... It's probably better if you don't know the details.
Would be fun if a sequel was made, though it's not necessary. This story was already fun and entertaining on it's own.
11604418
Heh, that seems to be an unpopular opinion in these parts!
needs sequel and Rarity's a jerk.
11605564
Heh, well that was quite succinct! ^.^
11600218
To be honest, after going through half of ponyville and intense "one on one tutoring" with Cadence he probably would be at least a sex demigod lol
Also, it reallt would be nice to see a sequel
11600910
he is a child rarity isnt
11612619
One of many reasons the relationship would never work in the long run.
11612619
11613049
He won't always be a child...
Anecdotally, just because my sister is 20 years younger than her boyfriend doesn't mean that their relationship isn't working out.
This was honestly amusing😂
11619614
I try! ^.^
Lmao 🤣
11628711
Well, I must have done something right...