EXCLUSIVE: Where Are the Rainbooms Now?

by Dubs Rewatcher

Breaking News

It’s been two years since the legendary Rainbooms graduated from Canterlot High. But stories of their greatness still echo through our high school halls, drifting along like the rich scent of Granny Smith’s Friday Fish Sticks.

And how could we not talk about the Rainbooms? Rarity’s flawless style, Pinkie’s boundless energy, Sunset Shimmer’s effortless swagger… Ever since they saved me from a living meatloaf monster in sophomore year, I’ve thought about them every time I pass one of their lockers.

Some of my friends say I’m “obsessed,” but I know it’s what’s on everyone’s mind. My fellow students can hide their despair all they want, but CHS desperately misses its heroes.

That’s why I — Scribble Dee, Editor-in-Chief of the Canterlot High Sentinel — am taking it upon myself to track them down and answer our school’s most pressing question: Where are the Rainbooms now?

---

Like any good journalist, I start by reaching out to each of the Rainbooms for comment.

An anti-spam filter on Twilight’s email bounces my message back to me. A few minutes later, Rarity sends me a link to her online store.

I spend the next hour browsing her new line of golf-themed tennis skirts and “genuine” healing crystals, until my phone pings with a new email — it’s Fluttershy!

…Or, as it turns out, Fluttershy’s mother. Fluttershy is apparently spending a year abroad at an isolated butterfly sanctuary in Neighpal, and can only be contacted by carrier pigeon.

But that still leaves four Rainbooms. And lucky for me, I soon get a reply from someone who’s happy to let me interview her: Rainbow Dash.

---

When I enter the diner for my interview with Rainbow, I find her trying to impress a waitress by showing off how many tater tots she can fit in her mouth at once. When I sit down across from her, she jumps, tries to swallow all the tots, spends ten seconds choking, then calms down and shoots me a grin.

“What do you wanna know?” she says, eyes watering.

Over the next two hours, Rainbow regales me with tales of the Rainbooms’ incredible exploits. She laughs recounting the time she single-handedly saved the Earth from aliens with just a guitar solo; she cries remembering the moment she leapt in front of a bullet to save Fluttershy’s life. When I ask to see the “wicked” scar it left, she says she can’t hear me over the tears.

Who knew that being the frontwoman of a high school garage band could be so awesome?

Before I leave, Rainbow slips me her phone number. “Lemme know if you need any more cool Rainbow Facts,” she says, pulling out a cigarette.

“You smoke?” I ask.

“Of course,” she says, sticking the unlit cigarette between her lips, butt-side first.

---

When I meet Pinkie Pie outside her college dorm and explain the article I’m writing, she’s ecstatic.

“Aww, people still talk about us?” Pinkie says, blushing. “That’s so sweeeeeet~!”

I hold up my tape recorder. “When you started the Rainbooms, were you expecting this sort of legacy?”

“Nope. I just liked hanging out with my friends! I didn’t really care about the music that much.” Pinkie takes a quick look around, then leans in close and whispers, “I wasn’t even playing half the time! And no one ever noticed!”

---

“Yeah, I pretty much wrote all our best songs,” Rainbow says at the start of our third interview, flexing her muscles in front of a mirror. She nods to herself, then spins around and smirks at me. “Hey, did I tell you about the time I saved Twilight from getting shot?”

“I thought you saved Fluttershy?”

Rainbow blinks. “Oh, right.” She stands silent for a moment, then asks, “Can we start over?”

---

“Lemme tell you,” Applejack says as we walk through her orchard, “there ain’t nobody more discriminated against than bassists. I carried that band, and what do I get? Less attention than a bale of rotten hay.”

I frown. “That’s gotta be rough.”

“It was!” Applejack sighs and leans against a tree, then casts her gaze off into the horizon. Her eyes are clouded with painful memories.

But then she suddenly turns and gives me a big smile. “That’s why I’m in a ska band now! The music stinks, but they can’t play a lick if I’m not there!”

---

A bit after midnight, I get a text from Rainbow Dash: “U wanna hear my mixtape 🔥🔥”

---

“I really do miss it,” Sunset says when I visit the coffee shop she works at. Her hair is tied into a messy bun, and sweat lines her face. “I mean, who wouldn’t? Hanging out with great friends, meeting fans, getting to make amazing art? And that’s not even mentioning the literal magic. It’s a life most people only dream of.”

She leans on the counter and chuckles. “Us girls still talk, sure, but it’s not the same. The time you spend with your friends — you gotta cherish it. Because one day, all you’ll have are the memories.”

I think of all my friends — our laughs, our arguments, our unspoken love for one another. I think of the graduation ceremony hurtling towards us, and the mystery of what our futures might hold.

Stinging tears well up in my eyes. “That’s so true!”

“Yeah,” Sunset murmurs, handing me a napkin. Then her face sharpens into a glare. “Now are you gonna order something? You’re holding up the line.”

Dabbing my eyes, I glance at the mob of customers gathering behind me, then squeak, “I’ll have a muffin?”

---

Once I finish my interviews, I run back to CHS and write up my article. It goes out, all 300 words, in that week’s issue of the Canterlot High Sentinel.

And guess what? We manage to give out four copies! That’s a new record! I knew that CHS missed their heroes!

Only problem: It’s been a week, and Rainbow Dash won’t stop texting me. I know she’s a hero and everything, but can anyone help me block her number?

Comments

[Mystic Sunrise]

But then she suddenly turns and gives me a big smile. “That’s why I’m in a ska band now! The music stinks, but they can’t play a lick if I’m not there!”

She's in a what? Love the story.

[Thought Prism]

Never change, Rainbow. Never change.

[Inky Scrolls]

That was surprisingly good for a thousand word wonder. Like.

[Posh]

I spend the next hour browsing her new line of golf-themed tennis skirts and “genuine” healing crystals, until my phone pings with a new email — it’s Fluttershy!

…Or, as it turns out, Fluttershy’s mother. Fluttershy is apparently spending a year abroad at an isolated butterfly sanctuary in Neighpal, and can only be contacted by carrier pigeon.

Seems to me like introducing birds to a butterfly sanctuary is a misstep on their part. Or a misflap. Whatever. It’s a butterfly banquet waiting to happen, is what I’m trying to say.

[Seeker1]

Not bad for just 1000 words.

[FanOfMostEverything]

That’s why I’m in a ska band now! The music stinks, but they can’t play a lick if I’m not there!

Amazing. Though it is sad to see fantasy drifting away into mundanity. Here's hoping this drives the girls to touch base with one another more.

[MarvelandPonder]

Ha! Total delight, this hit the spot that a story like this should

[The Blue EM2]

11499418
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ska

[Mica]

This reads almost like an autopsy of a past brief blip of greatness--the short-lived celebrities forgotten after a few years. The end of the Rainbooms in this story feels like a symbol of the end of G4 and the waning of the MLP fandom afterward. Unrelated note; I imagine you're familiar with the journalistic genre from your job.

[ArtichokeSpectre]

With so much humor packed in alongside the novel takes on the characters, this piece was such a joy to read. I'm surprised you managed to put the characters in such different situations and still have them act like themselves.

[Scooty433]

Good one

[AgentKorpsman]

“Yeah,” Sunset murmurs, handing me a napkin. Then her face sharpens into a glare. “Now are you gonna order something? You’re holding up the line.”

Oof, that gotta hurt.

[AgentKorpsman]

Only problem: It’s been a week, and Rainbow Dash won’t stop texting me. I know she’s a hero and everything, but can anyone help me block her number?

Give it to sunset or applejack.

[AgentKorpsman]

…Or, as it turns out, Fluttershy’s mother. Fluttershy is apparently spending a year abroad at an isolated butterfly sanctuary in Neighpal, and can only be contacted by carrier pigeon.

That last part sounds like a bad idea. And yea I know they been used before but still if something bad happens to the carrier pigeon or something they that a really big concern

[MixMassBasher]

An utterly hilarious biography of the Rainbow's especially after the end of EQG and MLP G4 in general. Love each of the Humane 7's ways to deal with said journalist.

From Twilight's Spam Filter, Rarity's Adverts, Rainbows Boasting, Pinkie being Pinkie, Sunset's snark, Fluttershy being abroad and only AJ treating it seriously.

Honestly its not surprising that CHS is not dealing all that into the Rainbooms much. On one hand it could be that they don't want to deal with the magic bs when the Humane 7 were still around OR the Journalist is an unreliable narrator and the Humane 7 still keep in touch with one another as well as their old school.

[nlinzer]

11501617
Honestly Pinkie was taking it more serously then Applejack, Which I think is in character for both of them

[TheOneAJ]

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

…Or, as it turns out, Fluttershy’s mother. Fluttershy is apparently spending a year abroad at an isolated butterfly sanctuary in Neighpal, and can only be contacted by carrier pigeon.

That's... odd?

“Of course,” she says, sticking the unlit cigarette between her lips, butt-side first.

And here I thought Dash would never do that of all things.

“Yeah, I pretty much wrote all our best songs,” Rainbow says at the start of our third interview, flexing her muscles in front of a mirror. She nods to herself, then spins around and smirks at me. “Hey, did I tell you about the time I saved Twilight from getting shot?”

That's clearly false Dash cause Fluttershy and the other girls did songs of their own that were great too.

She leans on the counter and chuckles. “Us girls still talk, sure, but it’s not the same. The time you spend with your friends — you gotta cherish it. Because one day, all you’ll have are the memories.”

I know the feeling. Out of all the friends I made in high school I haven't talked to since graduation, aside from my friends Sean and Cooper, who I still talk to every so often. While I don't see them that much anymore, I still did make a lot of great memories with them during the near 5 years we spent together as friends.

“Yeah,” Sunset murmurs, handing me a napkin. Then her face sharpens into a glare. “Now are you gonna order something? You’re holding up the line.”

And hear I thought they were talking via a table, not a line!

Only problem: It’s been a week, and Rainbow Dash won’t stop texting me. I know she’s a hero and everything, but can anyone help me block her number?

Some things never change.

[gapty]

Very funny story, despite the sad touch that the great friendship of the Rainbooms apparently has ended. One would expect that a magically connected one would last past high school