• Member Since 17th May, 2012
  • offline last seen February 2nd

Phantom Wolf


I love My Little Pony. Rainbow Dash is my gal. Anypony who wants to say hello, feel free to.

Comments ( 196 )

Its so good but... Aheeaah! :raritydespair:

:pinkiecrazy: Even if I don't like the idea of rape (to certain extent). I do like the way Pinkie Pie protected the babies.

:twilightangry2: They better caught the fucker.
:moustache: Also keep up the good work my good sir.

I liked this story. Will defiantly be on the lookout for more. Found some grammatical errors, but beside that...

And to top it off, one song played in my head while I read the "sex" scene.

Is there something wrong with me? Yessss... :pinkiecrazy:

People shouldn't read things with the dark tag if they don't like the genre, especially a combination dark/sex tags. Your grammar and spelling and even syntax are good, which puts it a far cry above most violence-as-dark fics. No thumb yet from me, not enough story just yet, but I'll keep watching it, I'm interested in how this goes.

I'll watch this but I do have to hold my thumb until I have read more of this story.

Ill thumbs up but because I think I might have a slight hint of where this is going

:moustache:IF I owned a country rape would be legal:derpytongue2::raritywink::raritydespair:What's wrong with me:scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

i am watching this story for updates and that stallion should be fairly easy to find since pinkie broke his snout and he left his DNA on her... he won't get away with it... and another sad thing is pinkie pie knows everybony in ponyville so she probably knows him

Fuck sake! This better not be what I think it is (Pinkie being raped by a burglar).
*Reads comments*
:twilightoops::facehoof:

Good grammar, nice writing style. Didn't get through even a fourth of the fic.

Why, man. Just why. D: You made me cry today.

...........Wh-....I dont even...Not Pinkie! i think thid shows my emotions well for what happends to Pinkie.

....Damn androids, j/k but that was pretty good and well writen but man i'd destroy that burgular.

Sorry for long comment, I felt I had a lot to say about this story.
This wasn't bad, execution-wise. I very much like the idea of responsibility despite horrible circumstances, and think that that's an interesting way to use the subject matter, rather than solely for shock value.
A couple of grammatical errors:

It made thing look a little funny, but it definitely put everypony's nerves at ease.

Should be 'things', I assume.

She relight the candle.

'Relit'
There are a few things I think could have been done better.
I think more tension could have been built before the burglar broke in, and slower pacing overall. I think it would work better if we had more insight on Pinkie's thoughts or reactions to the events as they occur, beyond the physical reactions (crying, pleading, etc) or at least an idea of the sheer amount of shock she's being put through, or the immense amount of courage it took for her to stand up immediately after the event. There's some chillingly powerful emotion there I think you could have tapped into. I did not really 'feel' for her as much as I think I should have, especially given her situation. You established that you are using omniscient third person for this story (we see both Pinkie's and Twilight's thoughts), so I think you should utilize that.
The use of the word "evil" bothered me. I don't know, the readers can assume that for themselves based on his actions, rather than the narrator telling them that. But those are mostly preference-based.
Overall, rape being something very difficult to write about, I do think you have something here, and I'm interested to see how this pans out.

1323251 Well let us hope that you'll never be in charge of the legal system of any country then.

Wow...that was actually pretty well written, if not extremely messed up during "that" part.
Can't wait to hear the conclusion.

1323251 Remember that it would also be legal for people to rape you. :pinkiehappy:

1323328 Yes, Twilight sure will love taking semen from Pinkie's vagina.

Thumbs up!

Oh god, i hated reading this. i mean, its an alright story, but... Pinkie.... pls no.

All my rustles are jimmied.

I'm going to track this one. It could use some editing, but the story's got potential, if it's handled properly.

Poor Pinkie though. :pinkiesad2: Honestly, for the rapist's sake, I almost hope he gets struck by lightning or something. It'll probably hurt less than what Twi and the others (to say nothing of PINKIE) would do to him after a tracking spell traces the link between him and the blood and semen. :twilightangry2:

1324448No I wouldn't be raped, ya know why because Iwould be the DICTATOR:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN :raritydespair::rainbowwild:

1332722 When I take over the world, I will have all people with ugly feet chop them off. . . I hate ugly feet, so gross.

Nice and powerful.

I like it.

Keep it coming, take your time to polish them to dazzle us all!

:pinkiecrazy: This... this story... is getting better and better...
:moustache: Keep up the good work comrade!

Some nice dark going on here. The writing could use some work, but the plot is intriguing so far. Please continue.

oh sht this is really dark i hope she will be okay as well

There are places where improvement could be made, but you, sirrah, are writing one of the best rape-fics I've seen in this fandom. :rainbowdetermined2:

And I'm saying that as a compliment, as horrible as it may sound. :twilightblush:

It takes me probably FAR less time to read than for you to write this, but it is still maintaining my interest. 'twill be interesting to see how you deal with this once Pinkie comes to. Clearly, you're planning on making it scar her, or this will be a very short fic indeed. I'm just not sure on reconciling a sad Pinkie that doesn't fall into Pinkamena with her character in canon, so that keeps me reading.

Again, don't mind the thumb-downers, if they're not commenting in the comments here, they probably clicked it knowing they wouldn't like the subject content. (I know most people here are grammar nazis, they will TELL you if syntax is the reason behind the down.)

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!!!!! VAGINA BBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!:fluttercry::fluttershbad::rainbowwild::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::scootangel::raritycry::raritywink::raritydespair:

This story deserves more respect than it's gotten so far, and it's doing something that no one else has properly done yet.

Sir, I salute you.:moustache::twilightsmile: Keep the good stuff coming.

But just quickly, work on your grammar a little, I keep finding little mistakes like so:

Rainbow Dash flew as fast as her wings would carry her without braking breaking the sound barrier.

Slowly, the pink party pony released Pumpkin and Pound Cake and scooted the them gently over to Twilight.

When Pinkie Pie cried out in pain when they placed her and the twins on the stretcher, it was to too much.

There are some more slight errors, but those don't detract too much. You have a lot of potential, keep writing!

-Jorofrarie

Rapists.... If I could get my hands on one.... Just... One.... My god, that would have ended badly...

... For him. :pinkiecrazy:

I really hope that the stallion that did this pays heavily for what he did to pinkie and for what he was going to do to the twins, and castration does not seem to be enough in my opinion... I wonder if they use a "pear of anguis" in equestria for such cases :twilightangry2:

EDIT: oh and on another note i noticed that your chapters are getting shorter :fluttershysad:

:pinkiesad2: Good to know she is safe...
:pinkiecrazy: Now if you excuse me. I need to operate a certain rapist.
app.sgizmo.com/users/66408/medic_taunt.jpg

*Snap*..... *Crack*.... Hihihihih.... *Crack*..... *Snap*.... Hihihihehehheh... Hahahhahoho.... *Crack and snap*..... Come 'ere, My Little Rapist.. I won't hurt you...... I will KILL YOU! :pinkiecrazy:

WHEN they find him, not IF, that stallion is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dead ..

I have one small problem with this chapter...


It's too short, more please :twilightsmile:

Pear of anguish... not bad, but really, it lacks a certain creative flare. And, you know, it stops hurting after a while.

Besides. Murder charges are a bitch, and I suspect that in Equestria, revenge killings aren't recognized.

Much more effective, and less easily traced, are either the good, old-fashioned telekinetic heart attack, preferably one that starts, stops, starts again, etc., until he's begging for death simply because it hurts less, or a simple process of gas-lighting him, making sure that his insane wreck of a mind finds its way to the deepest, darkest reaches of some sanitarium somewhere where the shrinks are fully aware of his background and to give him some extra special care.

By the by... we do have a couple of vacancies up here at the Canterlot Home for the Creatively Sane... and I am a little short on case studies for the students....

You know I was expecting Mr. Cake to do the fainting not the other way around.

Rapists must PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::twilightangry2::twilightangry2::flutterrage::flutterrage:

Rapists must PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::flutterrage::flutterrage::twilightangry2:

This... made... me... :fluttercry::raritycry:

But I want more.

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