HiE. A teenage girl lands in Equestria. All fun and dandy, right? Wrong. Very wrong. Why? She's sick. Can these ponies save her, or will she give in to her physical, and mental, illnesses?
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 17th May, 2012
- offline last seen February 2nd
Phantom Wolf
I love My Little Pony. Rainbow Dash is my gal. Anypony who wants to say hello, feel free to.
Phantom Wolf
Joined 17th May, 2012 ·
Offline
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Intresting.... I like where this story's going.
Short but interesting.
interesting.. some minor errors (feat instead of feet and you missed the t in that.. both in the first chapter).. tracking for now
1222531
um. . . like a illness in the. . . mind?
1222541
The description says metal, not mental.
[youtube=wwlBQqMHfOA]
Sorry. It did say metal, not mental. Thank you for pointing that out!
1222641
The show in general, or that specific scene?
I really like where this is going!
If you need a prereader or anything drop me a PM.
Also ive always wondered how the mane 6 / ponies in general would deal with this exact situation, so bravo for reading my mind!
"Can you do hat for me, please?"
Who is this hat person, and why does Fluttershy want her bird to do him?
1227313 Wow, so there's a reason Gordon Freeman never talks.
He's a dick xD
.....Seriously guys am i the only one with continued interest in this?
A word of wisdom, these chapters are kind of short. Maybe, instead of two separate chapters, each with ~500 words, you could have one chapter with ~1000 words, which would be these two chapters split by a horizontal rule.
A very nice story. I cannot wait to read more!
Coming along nicely.
I don't mean to be mean but, it took this long to update :( and that made me sad.
If the next chapters get about 300 words longer, This will easily make my top 20.
You've got a good setup to a well-written HiE fic, here. All I can suggest is that maybe you try to do slightly longer chapters. Work your way up. I wouldn't mind waiting longer for updates if they're a little bit more lengthy.
Either way, good job!
too long to wait for an update this short blah blah blah you know the drill, now onto the fun part.
I get more into this story the more i see. Its well written and your character is fascinating.
Ill admit most of this is because my own imagination is running away with the idea of an HiE fic that doesn't have a happy feel. This fic has the potential to go completely against the grain of the HiE cliches and still be a good story that makes sense.
You have a lot of expectations to live up to...
When are u going to update again?
Is this story dead? Could you change the status to "On Hiatus" or "Cancelled" so we can get some idea if it is still being worked on?
Need more please. It's a good story so far.
I think it should say:
Interesting so far.
More Please.
So.... are you actually going to continue this? Because you may as well mark it as cancelled if you're not. S'a damn shame.
Combine the two sentences. You need to work on your flow, and read each chapter aloud before you publish.
S I C C