• Member Since 15th Jul, 2014
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SwordTune


I have a Ko-fi page! ko-fi.com/swordtuneonline | Pronouns: he/him

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She is the Dragonlord, defender of the Dragonlands and all its dragons. She is a commanding presence, a respected leader. But as the world moves forward, so too must she. As Ember strives to give her dragons their place in quickly evolving world, she must prove that she is worthy to hold her title as new challenges come with every twist and change of fate.

The Dragonlord has arrived in the great desert south of Equestria. Its previously uninhabited lands are rich with minerals and ores, and the oppressive heat is familiar to those from the volcanic Dragonlands. This land was not easily won, however. Born from the corpse of a dead kingdom, the Ash Citadel sprouts from old ruins of the Storm Kingdom. It is a safe haven and home for dragons seeking to venture far from the Dragonlands. That is, until an unexpected attack on the edge of the colony.

Flung into a war she never asked for, Ember will learn the depths of a leader’s struggles. She will have to sacrifice her own apprehensions and indecision and accept the challenge of a new mysterious foe, so that when the world comes knocking on the black gates of the Ash Citadel, the dragons will be ready to knock back.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 14 )

A very good start. You draw in the reader, and leave them wanting more.

There aren't many stories told strictly from Ember's viewpoint. Furthermore, this one doesn't seem to have romantic inclinations towards Spike or any other character, making it even rarer (not that there's anything wrong whatsoever with stories that have Ember in a romantic relationship, it's just that it makes this story somewhat unique).

You have an interesting plotline, emotional conflict, good characterization so far, and excellent grammar!

Can't wait to see what happens next, or how Twilight might react.

Hmm, Smolder was mentioned once in this chapter, and then seemingly disappeared. Was that a typo, or will she be featured later?

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Hmm, Smolder was mentioned once in this chapter, and then seemingly disappeared. Was that a typo, or will she be featured later?

That's the consequence of writing multiple stories at once. No, Smolder shouldn't make a major appearance in this story, that was supposed to be Ember in that paragraph. Thanks for catching it.

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No, I don't really go in for that kind of stuff. I've already written many chapters ahead and this story is already filled with a lot of characters from the show and of my own invention.

“We take you there,” he said, after a short deliberation. “Find fly-lizard now!”

I think you meant for there to be a "no" in front of the "fly-lizard".

It's good to see this story continue. I thought it had been abandoned. Good detail, intrigue, and plot. Hope the next chapter comes out sooner.

Heh, either vultures are more intelligent than they are give credit for, or Fluttershy just found a new reason t connect with Ember, as apparently she can talk to animals too.

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Yes, from now on chapters will be released monthly for a while. It was never abandoned, I just wanted to have more of it written before I committed to posting.

Well, it was Spike who saved Ember from drowning during the gauntlet, so it's only fair for the turn-around to have Ember save Spike from drowning now.

Really liking the dragon pride ember. As. For the lighning dragon does this mean new types of dragons? Can we get an ice wyvern as well? Either way it's been good so far.

Spike is correct that he doesn't have the physical chops for fighting on this level. Ember pointed out he is emotionally up to it, and he probably has absorbed some military knowledge from hanging around with the heroes of Equestria. Twilight probably lectured about relevant stuff within his hearing, and I wouldn't put it past Dash to spar with him. I have heard a theory that listening to Dash fan-filly about the Wonderbolts was how he managed to use good enough tactics to defeat them even when out of his mind with greed in "The Secret of My Excess".

Meh... I'm not making my case as well as I would like, but I still think he makes a decent commanding officer for the operation, even if he isn't best suited to lead from the front in a fight.

Actually, the biggest problem I see is that, from the diplomatic and PR perspectives, he is more an Equestrian than a citizen of The Dragonlands. Also, if he gets hurt, Twilight might take it personally...

<SNIP>They might as well have been flying with a suite of rocks.<SNIP>

I believe you want "suit".

“It’s worth it to keep you around,” she assured him. “If there’s a chance to end this peacefully, you’re the dragon to do it.”

Huh... Didn't even occur to me that diplomacy was an option anydragon involved was willing to consider. Negotiating with kidnappers beyond a certain level tends to invite more kidnappings in the future. When they mentioned not getting overly heated with the member of Rosebud's cohort, I thought they just meant " get in, get the hostage, get out. Remain indifferent to the level of casualties, both high or low, inflicted on the enemy in the process".

But flaunting deeds didn’t seem like something Twilight would do. Humility might not have been one of the Elements of Harmony that ponies liked to talk about, but Ember felt it was implicit among the six other traits.

Umm... Has she even MEET Rainbow "Danger" Dash?

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I believe you want "suit".

Yes, thank you for catching that.

She held out her arm. “Even if they can hurt us, dragons are still the only ones who can take that lightning and survive. So it’s up to us to protect the Citadel.”

So Pegasi in your view AREN'T resistant to lightning?
I'd think they would at least spar with it... Hmmm... Maybe get a combat engineer in to advise on the lightning rods, with a strict "If there is even a hint of danger, retreat to the Equestrian consulate post-haste." policy.

I was wondering when you'd get around to introducing Twilight to all the trouble. Frankly, I'm wondering why she wasn't abit more concerned about Spike already having faced the Storm Dragon, and nearly dying in the process. Ember did tell her about that part. Didn't Twilight worry when Spike went seemingly missing for several days? No going out to search for him?

Still, it was a good chapter, with abit of world-building as far as dragon politics and the Citadel. Now to see how Spike will inevitably win Twilight over.

Lotsa anticipation and a good battle in this chapter.

Though the story is entirely from Ember's perspective, it'd be interesting to see what the conversation between Spike and Twilight was that allowed her to let him go. Then again, Spike had already flown off to one battle while at Ash Citadel and apparently Twilight barely noticed until it was pointed out, soooo...

Hmm, seems like Rosebud might have alittle curiosity, maybe even more, in regards to Spike. Assuming that she isn't a mole, it'll be interesting to see where that goes and why she finds him so interesting.

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