KingdaKa
Joined 18th Jan, 2020 ·
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Dash came off as too much of an asshole, here. Other than that, good setup for some sexy fun-times.
This is extremely elegantly written with eloquent and downright borderline philosophical narration indicating a much more serious situation brewing in the background. But the actual situation is so stupid that I think I had to re-read it just to make sure I wasn't seeing things.
Also never underestimate the Fujoshi archetype. Give them enough power and money and you will see them get gang-@#$% in their mansion by their personal 13 Prettyboy and Femboy Harem...
pbs.twimg.com/media/FxaCKamXoAAk1Lo?format=jpg&name=small
So watch out. Twilight will have an awakening just yet. And it might look like a chapter of frigging Pandra.
11597117
She's not the only asshole in the group right now. Just the only obvious one.
And in fairness, I wrote the thing with exaggerated personalities.
11597141
I was gettin' Poe vibes reading this. Even the vulgarity was well written and the prose was on point.
11597388
Which makes it so much more frustrating when it boils down to bets and drunken moronic discourse. Rainbow could have admitted ANYTHING that could have troubled her. But instead got super thirsty and behaved like a complete ass over Twilight's mom.
Why didn't anyone slap her and tell her to stop avoiding the question by being a fucking idiot?
Heh, well that deserves a facehoof, but it's still pretty funny.
11597186
Exaggerated personalities are fine, as long as they are still recognizable and likeable enough to keep is going
Oh, and remember to not go overboard~
11597398
Because alcohol was involved.
this has the potnetial to be super fun; cant wait for fluttershy to absolutely smoke them all lol
11607206
Nobody is gonna guess how this goes. I promise that.
Not gonna lie, I was kinda surprised Posey was pulled into it that quickly, and sober no less. The "on-page" romping went pretty fast too and left me wishing for more.
But I can't fault you. The "needy housewife" trope has been a long time classic and your stories have always had characters be a little more "thirstier" than one would normally expect. Plus you have to write multiple chapters with different MILFs so can't really hyper-focus on one.
So I really find it difficult to justify nit-picking porn stories, especially one's as good as yours. All in all, I wouldn't think your writing talent has declined at all. This is just as good as your past works and I'm excited to see more.
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Admittedly, I liked the idea of her trying to be so 'agreeable' that she would be the easy mark amongst them. That, and every personality is rather exaggerated for effect.
And that I was super frustrated with how I was writing so I kept it short.
It wasn't too bad, but yeah. You do like using the word 'morsel' to describe tongues a bit.
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Which means I'm becoming stale if my wordplay is predictable. Damn it all.
5000+ words with flirting and kissing taking up most of the word count, that's pretty slow, but it's how I like it. Can't believe that after checking in after a while I'd see two Milf hunting stories with bizarrely different styles both update while I was working away from this.
The story was going on how I anticipated it, and I wasn't disappointed. I am only a little reader with less experience, so I can't find fault with these words, but they did their job quite well~ And don't worry about skills stagnating or be frustrated over it. These stories we have around here are meant to flow smoothly and not products of anxiety over its length or satisfaction value and whatnot. A bunch of us like your works, and it means that you have at least some pure talent in you. (and you know, practice makes perfect and all that)
Also that art piece was good as always, you sure commissioned quite a lot of kisses from that...which is intriguing.
But the artist seems to share that kind of love, so it's great~
I'm still anticipating the next part, and is eager to see how Dash takes this further with Posey (or if you choose to end this right here, I'd like to see how the other moms react after knowing about Dash's little gamble)
Onward!