• Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen January 7th

JaydexTheShadowKnight


I'm an avid writer that enjoys creating human x pony romance stories. If you like what you've read, then perhaps you'd Buy Me A Coffee?

Comments ( 235 )

Too much words... :trixieshiftleft:

Good work though, but I'm too lazy to read it.

Holy god

First on a feature! (Aww yeah)

I'm reading it now, just wanted to be the first to comment :P

I'm going to read it, but I would like to be in chapters :raritywink:

1180317

second by three seconds

my deepest sympathies

"The night is quite young" Oh you HAD to! XD

We can dance if we want to,
We can leave your friends behind,
Cause your friends don't dance,
And if they don't dance,
Well they're no friends of mine!

Now I point really badly,
Indicating we must go!
Now a shake my head,
And scream in your face,
And race you to the crazy ho!

Say, we can act if we want to!
The night is young and so am I!
As long as we abuse it,
Never gonna loose it,
Everything will work out right!

When I wave to you smile,
Like you're wacked out of your mind!
Now little man,
Jump as high as you can,
Well thats not very high!

Say, now it's just getting weirder,
I've typed a song from hell,
I'm ready little friend,
For this music piece to end,
It's not going very well!

Still, we must end now,
Please hold back your tears,
It'll be over quick,
But I don't give a sh**!
Cause now I'm outta ideas!

This was an amazing fic, love the story, love the clop. The Spa Twins are some of the sexiest mares in the show, so this was great. And I'm happy to say, I CAME!!!!!.

You have once again made words fail me. I can not even begin to describe on how great this was. I'm looking forward to your next piece of great content.
bbsimg.ngfiles.com/10/23372000/ngbbs4e93175af1e16.gif

Arrrruuugh!!! Can't read now. :twilightangry2: stupid school.

The story is sweet and amazing,but mostly sweet:scootangel:...I should spread this in battlelog (Pony clans).:twilightsmile:get some views up here.:pinkiehappy:

Gave me a wingboner,I love it! :twilightblush:

Hmmm. Are they plotting something?
Ummm... You tell me.

It seems like the spa ponies have lost their accents. Strange.

1180949

Accents? Have they ever talked in the show? what episode?

HOT... very HOT... plenty of description which is good, although a longer clop scene would be my personal preference. Either way, very good. :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

1181077 In Bridle Gossip near the end, one of them speaks though I can never tell which one is Aloe and which one is Lotus. And she definetly has an accent though I can't place it. Some people say it's Danish apparently and some say by logic Aloe and Lotus should be Japanese. But I don't care :trollestia:

Why spa ponies only get clop fics? :pinkiesick: *gets tired*

We need Aloe/Lotus tags.

Pia

D'awwww. The ending was so cute. :pinkiesad2:
I loved it. :heart:
Because, this was just amazing. :twilightsmile:

1181187 It sounds more east European to me.

Auth, you're missing a large number of commas after introductory words. E.g. "Though the time they put into the letter was odd." should be "Though, the time they put into the letter was odd." In some paragraphs I found 3-4 of these errors in maybe 5 or 6 sentences.

If you like, check this link out OWL: Commas after introductions. that website is a great resource for all types of English grammar questions.

Now, onward to finish reading this.

Wow Jaydex, this was amazing, and was much more than worth the wait!

Your amount of detail was unbelievable, and the clop scene itself was perfect. You sir have true talent. :moustache:

I was right to favorite and like this before even reading it, I just loved it! The kissing was very in dept as well! :trollestia:

Keep it up man,.
No other than,
-Ps3luver

Yay it's up! cant wait to read, and congrats on being featured!


Edit: this was simply amazing, i loved every word this deserved to get featured easily. Liked, Faved then liked again for good measure. :pinkiehappy:

I love it....... really good work i knew i wouldn't be disappointed by your work.....please continue what your doing :twilightsmile:

1181551 There used to be a story, "My Second Life", but it disappeared a while ago. It had clop, but not of the spa ponies

1181603 I originate from eastern europe and I can tell that this is not our accent when speaking English :p. Or maybe it could be from some eastern country I do not know about ^^

Brilliant! Great fic! :pinkiehappy:

'Like several times before, you hear her humming the peaceful background music form one of your favorite video games back on Earth.'

Hmm...what could the tune be...

1182115 *missile lock detected*

WSO "firing flares."
*tense pause*
WSO "countermeasures unsuccessful"

*BOOM*

*pulls eject handle and nothing happens*

Pilot "Oh, for fucks sake!"



Anyway, guess not. Oh well.

Wow, there's lots of kissing, such the kind of thing I'm looking for in a fic like this. If there's one thing I would like for you to add is the explanation of how the lips felt like to the Main Character. All you said was it didn't felt like a pony, but then what do their lips feel like to him? Besides that, great job on this clop fic.

1182068 Yeah, I actually had that one in my favourites before the author took it down.

I guess you can say the sex... has been doubled. :rainbowlaugh:

GIVE IT UP! GIVEITUP! GIVEITUP! GIVEI- okay.

I liked it though i think it was a bit much stuff about the "me" that i personally don`t need.Not that it is unnecessary but i don`t need some infos about my job or manehattan if the story takes place in ponyville and not at work.

Other than that great job with that lovely love scene and profundity in their ,no "my" upcoming relationship.:ajsmug:

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m708lhQkhK1rxd3zso1_500.jpg



CF out.:scootangel:

I think it was great.

Having Aloe and Lotus in bigger roles than background ponies is what hooked me into reading this even when i prefer not to read clop.

1180399
I had no idea that a simple line said by Aloe would trigger that. :rainbowlaugh:

1180589
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

1180783
You have my thanks! And I hope I can deliver something you will enjoy even more! :raritywink:

1180868
More views would be great! And thanks for commenting! :yay:

1180904
Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

1181077
I had planned on making the clop scene longer, but I felt the scene I was going to add would make the story too raunchy and subtract from the tenderness of the last scene. But I'm glad you liked it just the same! :twilightsmile:

1181344
We sure do, and one for Nurse Redheart too!

1181383
Glad you enjoyed it! I hope the wait was worth it! And as always thanks for your enthusiasm! :raritywink:

1181603
I'll be sure to keep that in mind. I still have a long way to go as a writer. So thank you! :twilightsmile:

1181698
As always my friend, thank you for your support! I'm really glad you enjoyed this fic! :raritystarry:

1181846
Thanks for the cool pic! :yay:

1181944
:pinkiegasp: I know, when I saw it up in the feature box...I had to do a few double takes. I didn't think it would make it into the feature box. :rainbowderp: I hope you like it, when you get to read it! :yay:

1181984
Have no fear my friend! I shall do my very best! :eeyup:

dude, that's freaky. I'm wearing khaki shorts and a green polo with a pocket right now. :pinkiegasp: are you spying on me?

1183215 Read it, loved it, faved it, liked it, then liked it again..yep that somes it up pretty well, lol and it seems to be the biggest goal to get featured XD but congrats on it that story deserved it and you should be very proud of it :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

1182231
Hey, don't worry about it! I need negative reviews. I know I can't please everyone, and I still have a long way to go as a writer. Besides, I survived a heck of a slamming comment on my Celestia fic. These type of reviews are expected as my stories reach a bigger audience. Thank you for commenting. :twilightsmile:

1182236
I didn't specify the tune, because I wanted "you" to pic your favorite piece for this. But since you mention it. The tune I had in mind was Maplestory - Elin Forest Theme . I find it a very peaceful melody and thought the sound of it being hummed by Lotus would be very soothing. :raritywink: Also, glad you enjoyed the story!

1182639
Mostly I left that scene up to the reader's interpretation. I suppose I could have added a line like: Hers are the lips of a lover. Or something along those lines. Though I'm not sure if that would detract from the scene.

1182787
Awwww yeah! :rainbowlaugh:

1182801
I lol'd! :rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy:

1182888
Those parts were done to establish some back story for the "you" in the story. I had some readers suggest adding more depth to the main character following my last 2nd person fic. Besides I don't want my clopfics to be only about the clop. Thanks for commenting. And I enjoyed the pic of AJ. :ajsmug:

1183101
I'm glad you liked their large roles. :twilightsmile: That's partly what motivated me to write this. And I added more around the clop, because I wanted this to be more than just a clopfic. And perhaps when my plate empties...and I finally stop getting so many great ideas for fics, I may write one, more in-depth about these two, that doesn't involve much if any clop. A few others commented along those lines.

:rainbowlaugh: OH.....CELESTIA......STOP...I...I...CAN"T TAKE ANY MORE! Why is it I find clop thoroughly revolting :pinkiesick:.....yet hilarious!!!!!:pinkiehappy: This is the third best clop fic I have had the pleasure of reading........while I don't do the self nasty or even get turned on from clop....I dig the sexual fun of it and this piece did just that...good ol'e dirty fun.....

Good stuff...keep it rollin'!

Three clopstaches and two embarrassed Twilies for you!
:moustache::moustache::moustache::twilightblush::twilightblush:

1180949
Lost their accents?! Hardly...I offer this paragraph for your reference:
The twins look at each other and then nod. Lotus smiles at you and says, “Why don’t we move our conversation over to the massage tables. If you are sore from work, I’d wager a good massage would do you wonders.” Your smile grows as you really begin to notice her endearing accent as she speaks. That was the other thing you really loved about these two. While most of the time their accents were somewhat subtle, they did have a way of manifesting themselves, depending on their level of emotion and the type of words they spoke.

These two don't have much in the way of speaking roles. So I tooled their dialogue to appeal to a wide audience. I also find that constantly writing dialogue with the accent. Ie: "I vonder vhat Ay should cook vur dinna." I find dialogue like that to be very distracting. But a simple reference to an accent or take Applejack for example. I can write a line for her like: "I think it's going to be a good day for harvesting apples." While I didn't write it as some would prefer, I can clearly hear her country accent when I read it, in my mind. So that's why Lotus and Aloe's accents weren't done in a prevalent fashion. Thanks for commenting! :twilightsmile:

1183224
No, I wasn't spying on you. Just making reference the type of clothing most of us guys tend to wear, myself included! :twilightsmile:

1183249
Thank you! I am very pleased with this fic! And can honestly say it's surpassed all of my expectations!

1183279
As I tell my other readers...I'll be sure to do my best! So I will keep it rollin! :pinkiehappy:

1183327 nice. I love green. It's my favorite color.

1183333
Get out?! Green's your favorite color too! :pinkiegasp: Wow!

1183345 Guess what they say is true. Great minds think alike.:derpytongue2:

Ver' nice, ver' nice. The spa ponies are as cute as ever. Do consider more lengthy one-shots like this. It's a complete story, yet it doesn't feel as rushed as shorter one-shots tend to feel, especially the cloppy ones.

Anyway, good job! Definitely worth waiting for.

All megusta. :moustache:

1183391
It might interest you to know that I have three more fics similar to this one in the works. They are all 2nd person romance/clopfics starring the "you" as a human. There is going to be one featuring Nurse Redheart, one with Rainbow Dash, and I have already shared a summary in my blog about the one starring Rarity called "Stand By Your Human". You can check out the summary: here.

1183327 You are welcome! :pinkiehappy: It has surpassed mine as a reader as well, as always keep up the great work, my friend.

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