Frocto
Joined 23rd Aug, 2014 ·
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>male
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh
edit:
it is surprisingly not bad though
there's a boat load of mind control fics on MLP, there's a boatload of clopfics. Only the combination with maledom get complained about
Actually really charmingly written! I like the playful style you've got going on quite a bit.
i think is ok, way better than that diaper crap or some other weird fetishes one seem to find around
Wow, okay. It really got me all hot and bothered, but it just isn't my stuff. Great work though, even though I wish for more description of the actors and not only on the action. And the orgasm of the blowjob came too quickly for my tastes.
Still you get a thumbs up for getting me horny.
And now I want to suck on something. Damn.
5262681 flparentingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/spiderman-meme-blank.jpg
>not liking sex slavery
>not giving like
>not wanting to be raped and abused in sexual ways
I'm sorry op, but your diagnosis is faggot cancer.
5268051 You're on a site where sex are always featured. The majority of them contain rape, female domination, and foalcon...
If you don't like these type ps stories please leave every story you find the "sex" and "mature" tag together and never comment here again.
5266175
Anything where an original male character fucks everyone's favourite ponies is gonna get downvoted, it's a totally valid response! It's like that other guy said, maledom can be a little offputting for people. Thanks for the kind words, though!
(also, hooray for my friend explaining how commenting works to me!)
5269658
Actually, I've seen quite a lot of clop fics featuring an original male character fucking the Mane 6, and most of them had a better like-dislike ratio than this.
Either you wrote something controversial (most likely), or your story just sucks.
5269670
this is a mind control story
Oh man I want to downvote this so bad but how can I ruin the perfect symmetry of 96 likes to 69 dislikes? Impossible.
5269658
After reading way more of this story than I ever planned to, I believe I know why this fic has received so many downvotes.
Number One:
*running
*gazing as
*But
*as when
*powerful
Get rid of the "as he" in the first sentence and the "in" after powerful
This is just one example paragraph. The whole Third Chapter is like this, with one paragraph even duplicated!
The fic is rough and unpolished and at times incomprehensible.
Number Two:
It's pure smut. It is doubtlessly erotic, but it lacks character development, imagery, conflict. The characters are singlemindedly focused on sex. The imagery is sex. The conflict is sex. The emotions are sex.
Not that you can't write a fic like that, but this fic has very little non-sexual value.
Number Three:
The Controversy. This fic is sexist and objectifies women to an extreme I've not seen in any other clopfic. That turns a lot of people off and makes some dislike on principle.
So there you have it.
5273071
Oh, I put the unedited version up by mistake... Give me a moment and I'll fix it.
5271686
you can downvote the story as long as I can upvote zangief
5273536
Nooooo, your perfect ratio D:
5271686
>wanting to downvote a story because it is not your fetish
how ignorant can u get
5275940
And you are basing your upvote entirely on whether it fulfills your fetish regardless of the quality of the writing. I see no particular reason not to downvote this, which I still haven't done, in any case.
5276332
you're wrong tho
my secret is that i never upvote or downvote anything
5269658
You captured the sluttified Rarity persona perfectly in this. Good work and can't wait to see it finished.
5269658 You my friend are one magnificent bastard!
5273536
You, my friend are a fuckin' genius! My only concern is that the story's title "Slavery is Magic" may have been misconstrued by some would-be readers, and contributed to the surprisingly large number of downvotes that this story has, but definitely doesn't deserve.
This... is actually a pretty interesting story...
Huh.
This story embodies everything that is great and terrible in hentai. I guess that's why I liked it :D
I LOVE THIS! Cam't wait to see Twilight get DOMINATED!!
I can't believe I'm reading this... and liking it.
Well, thats acually what you deserve then if you've been thinking this way of Spike until now, Rarity.
Also.... how exactly is he hypnotising them? O.o
well, I do like your idea in general but I have to say... a bit of it gets lost in your characterisation of the mane 6. They all seem to already be so slutty they might come right out of CoC^^ His mind control losses alot of its thrill when all he really does is bring out their sluttyness that they already had to begin with.
Worth a follow and a favorite! I can see a lot of work went into this story.
5297224 more like pent up than just slutty
Goddamit i need namery
I'm just curious as to how he's hypnotizing them, I like the plot, no pun intended, but, yeah.
When do we get to see the next part?
5280511
no fuck you, if you false advertise you DO deserve a bad rep,
Don't mind me, just waiting for an update.
Hey... this is on hentai-foundry as well isn't it!
5455932
5644604
Actually, Chapter 6 is written! I make my stuff available to Patreon subscribers a month before I upload it, it's going up on the 17th of March. So get hype for that I guess~
5651240
It is! And also available on my personal website. I wasn't going to upload any of my writing on Fimfiction, but a friend insisted I put it all up, so it just kinda happened.
Next up Princess Cadance?!? or Luna?
After that Subjugate/Overpower Chrysalis?
Celestia from the sounds of it may have been the First one Tamed or put in a Semi-Sleeper state to be awakened when re-needed.
You put the "Cake room scene" in twice, might want to sort that out
5745133
Oh for goodness sake... Thankyou! It's fixed now! My editor suggested I move that from the middle of the story to the end and I agreed it was a good change, but somehow the old one didn't get deleted.
cant wait for the next chapter
Great story.
So the Princesses are next.
Who else will you add? Cadance, Trixie, Sunset Shimmer, the Dazzlings, etc. I look forward to finding out.
Hope you add Cadance some netorare would make this story even juicer.
Will you show how this entire situation affects the lives of the mane six friends and family. Like Spike and the CMC for example.
saw more use, not used.
Gotta admit, it's a smart move.
I can see where THIS is going.
Will the inevitable chapter with the Princesses be in this story, or another one?
5763872
Thankyou so much for spotting my typical clumsy errors~
5765325
5761202
5745087
I seem to be getting asked about this a fair bit, so I'll try to give as much information as I can. I spoke to the commissioner about continuing the story and there were a few more chapter ideas we tossed back and forth. Around when I was working on chapter 4, the order was considered to be AJ, Rarity, Floots, RBD, Pinkie, Twi, Vinyl and Octavia as a double chapter, Cheerilee, Trixie and Gilda as a double chapter, then Luna, then Celestia. The order has probably gotten jumbled around a bit since then, but there was basically 11 chapters planned.
However, while I'm continuing to handle MLP commissions, he's said he wants me to work on other things in the universe and that SiM is currently on hiatus. Ideas we've tentatively discussed involve a Wild-West style story set in Appleloosa with Applejack centre-stage, another Applejack story where she's a blade-wielding Barbarian, two different harem stories, one focusing on a genderbent Twilight and the other on a genderbent Luna, a story involving Pinkie, Babs and Floots being magically endowed to provide milk for Ponyville and a one-shot about Fluttershy getting involved with a nice, but very perverted boy. This is all up in the air right now, so it's hard to say what will get done or when, but I just thought I'd let people know that for the time being I'm done with SiM.
I have made a "Gangbang" chapter featuring the 8 current girls one of the options in my Patreon content poll for backers to vote on, so I have my fingers crossed it gets voted for. I'd love to write a nice, lengthy group-sex scene where Dusk's hips get worn out even more than they already are.
5766457
It's OK, next time, I suggest putting it through a Google Docs spell check and read through it carefully to see if what you write makes sense gramatically speaking.