• Member Since 14th Mar, 2020
  • offline last seen Saturday

Dreamer Deceiver


Born without a face.

E

Scootaloo writes home to Princess Twilight from the Dragonlands, telling her why the filly that left Equestria will never return.


Part of the first Pride and Positivity event.

Black Lives Matter - Where to Donate or Support Black People MasterDoc

Originally written in 38 minutes for a Quills and Sofas Speedwriting Panic Fiction, then later expanded.


Many thanks to the endlessly pleasant themoontonite, the emphatically astute wishcometrue, and Silent Whisper, who assures you all that no enbies were harmed in the writing of this fic.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 36 )

Congratulations on making featured!

This is absolutely incredible! Nonbinary representation ftw!

This was absolutely wonderful~ Thaaank youuuuuuuu

*clap clap clap*

If we are going to be doing this, why not try to revive "bright side of the moon".

I seth Standmore have red and Completed youre story and it has given me I must say............many feeling's, the idea that scootaloo would be non barnaby is fastening. On fimfiction.dotnet Scootaloo is often always not considered to be nonbarnaby so this stories take on the character is quiet unconversational

never the jess i have Ennjoyed reading the story, Scortaloo embaracing her identity is a great encouragement to all the brony's and pegasister's who spend the plast ten year's of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic learning theyre own gender tidentitty's, she is what is known as a Roll Model and i hope that More people will express them selfs the way scootalo has

one thing i am confused about iks why she is a rooster now too? did she get a curse that turned her into a roster, you should wright a sequal that detail's this rooster transformation may i suggest, Contacing Jimmy Hooks 19 for advice on hnow to do that

I Seth Standmore approve of your story and wil lshare it with my children's with my girlfriend Katana-Maru-Chan as we teanch them respect for peoeple of ALL form's including, nonbarnaby

Sincerely Seth STandmore

PS PRIDE SHOED BE ALL MONTH'S NOT ONE MONTH'S :rainbowdetermined2: AND THAT COMS FROM RAINBOW DASH THE GAY PONY

Comment posted by Calex Winteridge deleted July 12th
Comment posted by NecromanCREEEEEE deleted July 12th

Great job on this story! Scootaloo discovering their nonbinary side by staying in a place that just views them as an outsider rather than a "mare" or "chicken" is pretty interesting, and I liked the letter format.

10328136
The "rooster" bit is a metaphor. She used to be called "chicken" as a joke, and "hen" is the female version of "chicken". But "rooster" is male, and that feels more right to her than "chicken" (a name that kinda mocks her) or "hen" (which is explicitly female).

10328475 i believe scoolatoo

Comment posted by Profesionalac deleted July 13th

While I like the story I feel you ruined Scootaloo's childhood just to write this I get the nonbinary theme but the way you wrote the last line seems more like she's giving up on who she was completely beforehand by saying that a filly left instead of a mare as it should have been. At the point in the story you're writing this it seems more like she would be an adult anyway so why call her a filly. Also I'm still going to use her just to be a specific descriptor cause as I said I understand the whole non-binary thing. I feel that the way you should have wrote it was "a mare left Equestria and is not coming back"

Also it makes it sound like Scoots is planning on never leaving the dragonlands again so that's kind of why I also don't like this. I got the distinct feel of that either she is going to commit suicide before they come back or she is just not ever going to return home

10330224
Well, regarding "filly", I think the explanation has two potential parts:
First, while it does technically mean an immature female pony here, like "girls" vs. "women" for humans, it's sometimes used more colloquially to just refer to females of the species. Think "Fillies and gentlecolts", for instance.
Second, it does have that meaning of immaturity, and I can see it as quite possible that Scootaloo, however they may have seen her/theirself at the time, now looks back from their current position and sees that mare as not finished growing into the person she/they could be.

10330228
...I really don't see where the suicide thing is coming from, sorry.
And they do say that they want to go back to Equestria, and see their friends, and that they'll not abandon their home their even if the Dragonlands become their new home.

10330260
It's implied by the short description. I'm not saying that they do but the comment that I had was mostly just due to the short description making it sound like Scootaloo was planning on never leaving the dragon lands again in any way shape or form. That's why I was surprised that it said Slice of Life instead not suicide / self harm in the categories. It just doesn't sound right for people who want to read an enjoyable Scootaloo story instead of a Scootabash story

I really should have clarified I thought suicide when I first looked at the short description instead of when I read the story which I really did enjoy I just downvoted it due to the fact that you have an extremely misleading short description.

10330307
10330314
Ah, okay; thanks for the explanation. For my part, as I recall, I basically immediately got from the description and the cover art the significance of the specification of "filly".

10330366
Not a big deal just specify that Scootaloo left for the dragonlands in some way and it will make more sense after all the way you wrote it makes it sound like they're doing something drastic to leave Equestria

10330371
"Not a big deal just specify that Scootaloo left for the dragonlands in some way"
Doesn't it already do that?
"Scootaloo writes home to Princess Twilight from the Dragonlands"

"the way you wrote it"
...Er. I'm not the author. Or was that to them, just in a reply to me?

10330374
Sorry I've been up since like midnight last night so I'm a bit out of it I honestly thought you were the author sorry again

Also the short description is in reference to the description that isn't on the actual stories page but the one that's referenced on a list like in your favorites

That was ... interesting.

I must admit: When I read the description, and started reading, I was expecting one type of story. What I got was another.

The ending made me think of growing up; a child grows up, goes into the world, and come back "home" as an adult. Not the same person as when they left.

10330378
Ah, apology accepted, don't worry. :)

10330381
...The description of this story in my Favourites and the one on the story page for this look like they're the same, though? Is that not the case for you?

10330228
This may make it difficult for me to read the story. I love Scoots and the idea of her rejecting her friends is hard for me to take. I think the idea is nice, though. It's good to see nonbinary representation.

Comment posted by Trick Question deleted July 13th

10330682
I was wrong Scoots is still going to go visit their friends just not as a female anymore

10330688
I personally find Seth Standmore to be a wonderful ally. He marched with me at pride, bought me a pizza once, and is just generally very supportive. :twilightsmile:

10330893
My apologies. The comment looked to me like it was mocking intellectual disabilities and gender identity. I don't understand why people support that sort of thing, but I've removed my response.

I really like this story. And even if I can’t totally relate to their exploration of gender, I can relate to the process of not knowing. ‘Will I ever find out who and what I’m supposed to be? What happens then? Is it always going to be changing?’

Scootaloo is a fun character to write and you did it remarkably. Being in the dragon lands, earning respect and starting to finding out who they are and what they want in life always makes a good story. Great job

For a first story, you've made quite an impression.
And gained another follower :ajsmug:

A good one-shot about life, plus its discoveries.

You struck a perfect balance between fitting Scootaloo as 'Rooster' and 'em' without shoving gender down people's throats.
Well done.

10330228
It really doesn't. The implication is Scoots is nonbinary. Ergo, not a mare/filly. Therefore, Scootaloo the mare/filly will never be coming back to equestria because she no longer exists

10360320
I had already answered this and I was also working on a 20-hour day at that point so I wasn't paying full attention but at the time when I first wrote the comment the author had the short description not mentioning that Scootaloo was in the dragonlands and had changed it I believe after seeing my comment. Either that or like I said I was running on a 20-hour day and had noticed it don't worry I left alone after that I understand the whole nonbinary thing. just read my other comments and you'll understand

I liked how you wove in a new meaning to rooster and made it fit Scootaloo. However, I didn't get as much out of this story as I thought I would have. Based on the comments, I thought there would really be some more concrete non-binary representation here. What I'm left with feels like the start of a story that will end up chronicling the self-discovery and analysis of a non-binary character, not one that currently contains anything especially trans as it is. Seriously, as a trans person, I went through this having to squint because it didn't feel like it had even pierced the skin of opening trans topics. Scoots felt like she sure was questioning something, but as the story stands, it feels much closer to the perspective of someone who immigrates to a culture vastly different from their own. (Even the short summary supports this train of thought!) Scootaloo just didn't feel trans, or at least, not yet.

I did like the format you chose to use for telling the story. It's a very personal one that can make a lot less of words into a lot more. You also have a good knack for balancing introspection with Scootaloo's voice. But I'm not left very satisfied, and my upvote is a fairly shaky one. (Just to clarify: this doesn't mean I was anywhere close to downvoting your story at all. It's well-written and inoffensive, but it is frustratingly vague as all fuck. I was much closer to a reaction of 'Eh, that's it?' and just not voting.)

I think the two strongest ways that you could improve your story is to address gender explicitly. This is meant to be a coming-out story, albeit a chill one, and it doesn't touch upon gender as it should. Without your word saying it is a trans story and the cover art, I genuinely would have had no idea there was anything trans-related in this. The experience Scoots has with gender dysphoria dashes up the cliff of 'too subtle' and jumps right off. The anxiety Scoots feels could be attributed to multiple other areas of the story that are much clearer: immigration, new socialization, being away from friends, a new stage in life, and so on. The second thing is to make pronouns clear. Names take a while to pick out, and while Scoots appears to be leaning towards considering Rooster, it didn't come across that way. Instead, I got the impression that Scoots was considering taking a corruption of the they/them pronoun (Em, or I suppose 'em would be the best way to render it) and leaning towards making that her name. By the end of the story, the reader still doesn't know what pronouns work best for Scootaloo. Considering the focus you show on Scoots drawing towards they/them, it should have been said outright, so that way both the readers and Twilight would know what Scootaloo is: a non-binary individual. The constant shortening of they/them felt a little unneeded after the first couple of instances - I get that Scoots is trying to mimic the way the dragon referred to her, but like I said before, it comes across as a name at times.

All in all, you have a really good start for a first story. I would like to see more stories with your name on it in the future, or even just this one as a multichapter version one day. Good luck!

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