Rooster
Dear Princess Twilight,
What are you supposed to think when you’re only truly seen by your enemies?
Okay, I s'pose enemies wouldn't be the right word, but still. Dragons aren't exactly a welcoming bunch, let alone accommodating. So, why do I feel more comfortable around them than I do my own friends?
Maybe one day they'll both come to the Dragonlands and see the pony I've become. I hope they'd be proud of me. It's certainly not the most glamorous job, even by CMC standards--thanks, Sweetie Belle! But it's an honest living; daring work, some might say.
Though, I'll be honest, now that there's peace again, the animosity of the dragons seems to have come back in full effect. Gone are the fistbumps and in are the punches to the shoulder.
I'm not sure what I should've expected, really. When the chips were down, everyone pitched in. But now that none of our lives hang in the balance? Creatures seem fully content to just go about their lives, without a thought in their head about helping anyone but themselves.
I hear them talking about me sometimes. Sometimes, they'll even talk about wanting to hurt me. I guess I am kinda the Equestrian rat, by their standards. We’re only here to keep the communication lines open, but you try explaining that to dragons who never got a formal education. It's harder than you'd think.
"I'm gonna sock that rooster right in the jaw! Teach 'em to eyeball me."
Ah, that's right, they've taken to calling me ‘rooster’ here. Not something I really expected, and not something I really mind. Not exactly sure why, but it doesn't feel like a hot needle in the small of my back the way ‘chicken’ did.
And ‘em,’ huh? Yeah, ‘em’ sounds good. Not sure what about it, but it feels... almost like a weight taken off, when I hear it. Celestia only knows why.
That's another thing, Princess. Does it upset you that creatures still use Celestia's name as an expletive? I feel it doesn't really have anything to do with you, just that they see her as some kind of powerful figure.
See, now that sounds insulting. I should just stop talking about her. Moving on.
I gotta say, it has been comforting that none of the dragons have ever treated me as someone to be protected. I realize that they mostly just don’t like me, but there's something about not being seen as someone to be babied that just feels so… confirming? Almost like my power is recognized, even if only being recognized as a threat to them.
And maybe that is the true essence of power, at least as we know it now. In this land, you don't get any respect unless you present or display some sort of ability to defend yourself, or attack another, if it comes to that.
I believe it all stemmed from one moment. One of the dragons here was eyeing me one day. Normal stuff, usually, but this one was different. All of a sudden he came up behind me and put me in a headlock, while he just laughed to his friends and frazzled my mane.
I'm not exactly sure why he did it; possibly just wanted to show off, and possibly some sort of hazing ritual they do when a new envoy comes along. Whatever the reason, I kicked back and seemed to hit him right in the liver.
Now, I'm no doctor, but I have heard something about the liver being connected to the brain, and when the liver gets hit like that, the brain goes into shock and disrupts the body's motor function. I had no idea about this at the time, but I am very glad it's true, or else I’d probably be singing a completely different tune right now.
Once the dragons saw me do that, they seemed to take proper caution around me. They're still far from afraid, and most of them could still definitely outmuscle me, but they know I'm strong enough to cause quite a bit of damage to them, should a fight ever break out between us.
That's what the most basic level of respect is, I think: the assumption that one can cause significant harm. Physical respect, respecting someone's strength. It strikes at a much more instinctive chord to the dragons.
Thank Celestia (again, sorry, Princess) that it wasn't Sweetie Belle in my position. I mean, I love the filly, but what would she've done, sing at him till he stopped? No, I'm glad it was me. Working in the Dragonlands isn't a job for a pony that isn't willing to deal with some roughhousing, and shouldn't be taken lightly even by those who are.
That reminds me, it's been ages since I've seen Sweetie Belle. She must be doing her thing up in Manehattan right now; singing, dancing, maybe even appearing in a play or two. She's a talented mare, and one I'm glad to call my best friend.
Last time I saw her I was at one of her music lessons, about five months back. AB and I were waiting for her to finish off so we could have one last night on the town. We were only together for about two months of us all being legal drinking age, but boy did we make it count.
I remember her teacher was trying to tell her about different musical genres. Sounds like the bare basics, but it was really interesting.
"Genres are categories we use to denote different types of music," her teacher said.
Which is true, we all know that. "Right. So, what would punk music be described as?" Sweetie asked.
"Well, typically, very inspired by rock, a big focus on distorted guitars, percussion, and lyrics depicting some sort of counter-culture message..."
Sweetie looked confused. "So what about punk that doesn't have any sort of counter culture-message? Is that not punk?"
"Not exactly, Sweetie. See, genres can't account for every single edge case, we can only ever define them by the attributes we typically know them for."
"So two bands can sound absolutely nothing like each other and still be punk?"
"That's right. And furthermore, there’s some music that you or I would describe as sounding just like punk, but it isn’t. It’s all about how we engage with the music and how it’s presented to us." She was a really good teacher to Sweetie Belle, and always spoke in such a nurturing voice. Especially nurturing for a glam metal mare.
I didn't really understand any of that stuff back then, but I think I do now. We sort things into our own little boxes for the sake of identification, but as soon as we try to explain what those identities mean, we can't. All we can really do is try our best to provide examples of what they would be, in whatever context they're in.
Her teacher went on to say, "You know, there are subgenres as well, for punk. Hardcore punk, art punk, glam punk."
"And these are all punk?"
"They are! All punk, and none more or less punk than any other. Subgenres help us further identify what type of music we'll be hearing, and though they may be wildly different, art punk and glam punk are both equally valid types of punk music."
I suppose we do that a lot, don't we? Try to fit things into boxes as much as we can. Then, when things get muddled and complicated for us, we make another box within that box to put things into. We really like grouping things together, being able to identify things with only a few words.
But what do you do when you're trapped inside the box?
What does one do when there exists no box for you to fit into? Do you just live your entire life outside that box? Do you try to fit into the box you're already in, and hope you can keep stomaching the pain?
Nothing hurts quite like being invisible. And not invisible in the sense that they can't see you, but invisible in the sense that nobody can see beyond the mask they've built for you to wear.
I don't want this mask. I can't breathe through this mask. Its only saving grace is holding back the tears when they finally come, so that I can maintain the illusion that I am myself.
It's easy to live in pain; after all, I've been doing it for years. But, sometimes the pain of being who you're not outweighs the fear of being who you are.
I didn't know for the longest time, back in Equestria. I mean, how could I? Nobody taught me anything about it, all I had to go on were some vague notions in my head and an unrelated music lesson my friend was getting.
But I'm learning.
Maybe the day will come when I finally figure things out, or maybe I'll always be learning. But I’m not in the dark anymore. I see myself, and I am powerful. A triumphant rooster, hear me roar.
The first time I thought something was up may have been when I first cut my tail. It was short, not stubby, but certainly shorter than the other mares. Some ponies would look at me funny.
I didn't cut it for the same reasons the stallions did. I did still take care of my tail, and wanted it to look good. I just wanted it to look... me, if that makes sense.
I understand that nopony has really been taught anything like this before, so maybe it's a bit unreasonable to get angry at this, but it does burn me up. I dread the thought of talking about who I really am to somepony, and them responding, "I don't get it."
If you don't get it, that shouldn't be my problem.
But it is.
The dragons always seemed to understand who I am, or maybe they just never understood who I used to be. Whatever the reason, they're the only ones I've met that see me, and don't just see the mask I've been made to wear.
In truth, maybe it'd be best if I didn't move back to Equestria once my station period is over. I mean, I have all I need here; food, water, entertainment. I don't have friends like I do back in Equestria, but that shouldn't be too hard, I’ve already made one here.
I remember the day I met Thorn, at the saloon--or what the dragons called the saloon, anyway--and he seemed to be the exact stereotype of a dragon ponies are used to.
Thorn was brash, abrasive, said whatever was on his mind and didn't care what anyone else thought of him. Most see him as unlikable, and honestly, he is, but I'm pretty fond of him. It's an admirable quality to be able to be exactly who you are, without fear of how others see you.
At the saloon, I was sitting in my usual spot, at the back, behind a bed of rocks they called 'a booth,' and drinking my flagon in peace. Thorn walked in, and he was the type of guy who didn’t need to announce his presence every time he entered a room. It was really annoying, but eventually you got accustomed to it, and it even started to get exciting when just relaxing, and all of a sudden, "Guess who?!"
He's a character.
He has a habit of immediately introducing himself to every new face he sees, even if that new face isn't in the mood, in my case. Thorn came over and sat next to me, and started asking me all sorts of questions. Questions I didn't want to hear, and ones I definitely didn’t want to answer.
"Hey, do I know you from somewhere?" Was one of his favourites. Due in big part because it annoyed me.
I said, "No."
"I dunno, you look pretty familiar. Maybe we went to school together?"
I wasn't even convinced dragons had schools, let alone with a pony that looked anything like me attending them. "No," I said, again.
"No, no, I know who you are. You're that rooster I keep hearing about."
There was that word again. ‘Rooster.’
"I am. What about it?"
"You think you're better than us? Big rooster, nesting up in that big embassy you built for yourselves?"
My temper was getting short, I'll admit. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just me getting fed up with him. Probably both, honestly. "I live residential, same as all you." The sternness in my voice must’ve perked the ears of every dragon in the bar.
"Is that a fact?" He smiled, almost as if he knew that. I kept wondering what kind of game he was playing, but his face was unreadable.
Everything was still for a moment, both at our booth and the bar around us. Neither of us moved a muscle, but tensed up for a reaction from the other. Then, after a few more seconds of glaring at one another, we both loosened up.
Once the tension was unwound, he took a big swig of his beer. I consider myself something of an impressive drinker, but Thorn was something else. He lifted the flagon back and poured its contents down his open throat like it was a drain.
And if you didn't already know, yes, alcohol is flammable.
Thorn burped and let out a large waft of flame. Luckily for me, it was more a mist of embers than anything else, but still enough to singe the fur on my nose and the end of my mane. Red-hot rage pounded from my heart to my whole body. I was already inebriated, but this felt like an all-too-personal slight.
I took my mug in a rage and threw it at him, drenching his scales in beer, and leaving him more than a little dumbstruck. I immediately felt a pang of regret. Despite what he'd done, it could have been an accident.
Thorn got up and loomed over me. I wasn't scared of what he'd do, but I was scared of what might happen if news of this got back to the embassy. Would I get scolded by my superior? By you, Princess? Would I lose my whole job?
"This rooster is something else, fellas," he said, chuckling to himself as another flaming burp came out of his mouth--this time, directed upwards. "I'd like to buy 'em a drink!"
And that was it; ‘rooster,’ ‘em,’ It wasn't that they thought I wanted to be referred to as something. That's who they saw me as. To them, I was the rooster. ‘Em’ is me. Despite me throwing a drink in his face, he saw me for who I really was, with no mask clouding his vision.
And maybe that is something. Maybe ‘rooster’ doesn't exactly fit, either, but maybe it's just that it's so far away from ‘chicken’ or ‘hen’ that it's comfortable. Maybe I'm not a rooster, but maybe it's more comfortable to be a rooster than to be anything else known.
Maybe ‘em’ is what I am. What I was, always.
My station in the Dragonlands has been really good for me, I think. It's given me the opportunity to find out who I really am, in a completely new environment.
I do want to come back to Equestria, Princess. I do want to see my friends again, and I’ll never abandon the home I had, even if the Dragonlands becomes my new home. But a filly left Equestria, and that filly won’t ever be coming back.
-Scootaloo
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Congratulations on making featured!
This is absolutely incredible! Nonbinary representation ftw!
This was absolutely wonderful~ Thaaank youuuuuuuu
*clap clap clap*
If we are going to be doing this, why not try to revive "bright side of the moon".
I seth Standmore have red and Completed youre story and it has given me I must say............many feeling's, the idea that scootaloo would be non barnaby is fastening. On fimfiction.dotnet Scootaloo is often always not considered to be nonbarnaby so this stories take on the character is quiet unconversational
never the jess i have Ennjoyed reading the story, Scortaloo embaracing her identity is a great encouragement to all the brony's and pegasister's who spend the plast ten year's of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic learning theyre own gender tidentitty's, she is what is known as a Roll Model and i hope that More people will express them selfs the way scootalo has
one thing i am confused about iks why she is a rooster now too? did she get a curse that turned her into a roster, you should wright a sequal that detail's this rooster transformation may i suggest, Contacing Jimmy Hooks 19 for advice on hnow to do that
I Seth Standmore approve of your story and wil lshare it with my children's with my girlfriend Katana-Maru-Chan as we teanch them respect for peoeple of ALL form's including, nonbarnaby
Sincerely Seth STandmore
PS PRIDE SHOED BE ALL MONTH'S NOT ONE MONTH'S
AND THAT COMS FROM RAINBOW DASH THE GAY PONY
Great job on this story! Scootaloo discovering their nonbinary side by staying in a place that just views them as an outsider rather than a "mare" or "chicken" is pretty interesting, and I liked the letter format.
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Thank you all so much!
10328136
The "rooster" bit is a metaphor. She used to be called "chicken" as a joke, and "hen" is the female version of "chicken". But "rooster" is male, and that feels more right to her than "chicken" (a name that kinda mocks her) or "hen" (which is explicitly female).
10328475 i believe scoolatoo
While I like the story I feel you ruined Scootaloo's childhood just to write this I get the nonbinary theme but the way you wrote the last line seems more like she's giving up on who she was completely beforehand by saying that a filly left instead of a mare as it should have been. At the point in the story you're writing this it seems more like she would be an adult anyway so why call her a filly. Also I'm still going to use her just to be a specific descriptor cause as I said I understand the whole non-binary thing. I feel that the way you should have wrote it was "a mare left Equestria and is not coming back"
Also it makes it sound like Scoots is planning on never leaving the dragonlands again so that's kind of why I also don't like this. I got the distinct feel of that either she is going to commit suicide before they come back or she is just not ever going to return home
10330224
Well, regarding "filly", I think the explanation has two potential parts:
First, while it does technically mean an immature female pony here, like "girls" vs. "women" for humans, it's sometimes used more colloquially to just refer to females of the species. Think "Fillies and gentlecolts", for instance.
Second, it does have that meaning of immaturity, and I can see it as quite possible that Scootaloo, however they may have seen her/theirself at the time, now looks back from their current position and sees that mare as not finished growing into the person she/they could be.
10330228
...I really don't see where the suicide thing is coming from, sorry.
And they do say that they want to go back to Equestria, and see their friends, and that they'll not abandon their home their even if the Dragonlands become their new home.
10330260
It's implied by the short description. I'm not saying that they do but the comment that I had was mostly just due to the short description making it sound like Scootaloo was planning on never leaving the dragon lands again in any way shape or form. That's why I was surprised that it said Slice of Life instead not suicide / self harm in the categories. It just doesn't sound right for people who want to read an enjoyable Scootaloo story instead of a Scootabash story
I really should have clarified I thought suicide when I first looked at the short description instead of when I read the story which I really did enjoy I just downvoted it due to the fact that you have an extremely misleading short description.
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10330314
Ah, okay; thanks for the explanation. For my part, as I recall, I basically immediately got from the description and the cover art the significance of the specification of "filly".
10330366
Not a big deal just specify that Scootaloo left for the dragonlands in some way and it will make more sense after all the way you wrote it makes it sound like they're doing something drastic to leave Equestria
10330371
"Not a big deal just specify that Scootaloo left for the dragonlands in some way"
Doesn't it already do that?
"Scootaloo writes home to Princess Twilight from the Dragonlands"
"the way you wrote it"
...Er. I'm not the author. Or was that to them, just in a reply to me?
10330374
Sorry I've been up since like midnight last night so I'm a bit out of it I honestly thought you were the author sorry again
Also the short description is in reference to the description that isn't on the actual stories page but the one that's referenced on a list like in your favorites
That was ... interesting.
I must admit: When I read the description, and started reading, I was expecting one type of story. What I got was another.
The ending made me think of growing up; a child grows up, goes into the world, and come back "home" as an adult. Not the same person as when they left.
10330378
Ah, apology accepted, don't worry. :)
10330381
...The description of this story in my Favourites and the one on the story page for this look like they're the same, though? Is that not the case for you?
10330228
This may make it difficult for me to read the story. I love Scoots and the idea of her rejecting her friends is hard for me to take. I think the idea is nice, though. It's good to see nonbinary representation.
10330682
I was wrong Scoots is still going to go visit their friends just not as a female anymore
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I personally find Seth Standmore to be a wonderful ally. He marched with me at pride, bought me a pizza once, and is just generally very supportive.
10330893
My apologies. The comment looked to me like it was mocking intellectual disabilities and gender identity. I don't understand why people support that sort of thing, but I've removed my response.
I really like this story. And even if I can’t totally relate to their exploration of gender, I can relate to the process of not knowing. ‘Will I ever find out who and what I’m supposed to be? What happens then? Is it always going to be changing?’
Scootaloo is a fun character to write and you did it remarkably. Being in the dragon lands, earning respect and starting to finding out who they are and what they want in life always makes a good story. Great job
For a first story, you've made quite an impression.
And gained another follower
A good one-shot about life, plus its discoveries.
You struck a perfect balance between fitting Scootaloo as 'Rooster' and 'em' without shoving gender down people's throats.
Well done.
10330228
It really doesn't. The implication is Scoots is nonbinary. Ergo, not a mare/filly. Therefore, Scootaloo the mare/filly will never be coming back to equestria because she no longer exists
10360320
I had already answered this and I was also working on a 20-hour day at that point so I wasn't paying full attention but at the time when I first wrote the comment the author had the short description not mentioning that Scootaloo was in the dragonlands and had changed it I believe after seeing my comment. Either that or like I said I was running on a 20-hour day and had noticed it don't worry I left alone after that I understand the whole nonbinary thing. just read my other comments and you'll understand
I liked how you wove in a new meaning to rooster and made it fit Scootaloo. However, I didn't get as much out of this story as I thought I would have. Based on the comments, I thought there would really be some more concrete non-binary representation here. What I'm left with feels like the start of a story that will end up chronicling the self-discovery and analysis of a non-binary character, not one that currently contains anything especially trans as it is. Seriously, as a trans person, I went through this having to squint because it didn't feel like it had even pierced the skin of opening trans topics. Scoots felt like she sure was questioning something, but as the story stands, it feels much closer to the perspective of someone who immigrates to a culture vastly different from their own. (Even the short summary supports this train of thought!) Scootaloo just didn't feel trans, or at least, not yet.
I did like the format you chose to use for telling the story. It's a very personal one that can make a lot less of words into a lot more. You also have a good knack for balancing introspection with Scootaloo's voice. But I'm not left very satisfied, and my upvote is a fairly shaky one. (Just to clarify: this doesn't mean I was anywhere close to downvoting your story at all. It's well-written and inoffensive, but it is frustratingly vague as all fuck. I was much closer to a reaction of 'Eh, that's it?' and just not voting.)
I think the two strongest ways that you could improve your story is to address gender explicitly. This is meant to be a coming-out story, albeit a chill one, and it doesn't touch upon gender as it should. Without your word saying it is a trans story and the cover art, I genuinely would have had no idea there was anything trans-related in this. The experience Scoots has with gender dysphoria dashes up the cliff of 'too subtle' and jumps right off. The anxiety Scoots feels could be attributed to multiple other areas of the story that are much clearer: immigration, new socialization, being away from friends, a new stage in life, and so on. The second thing is to make pronouns clear. Names take a while to pick out, and while Scoots appears to be leaning towards considering Rooster, it didn't come across that way. Instead, I got the impression that Scoots was considering taking a corruption of the they/them pronoun (Em, or I suppose 'em would be the best way to render it) and leaning towards making that her name. By the end of the story, the reader still doesn't know what pronouns work best for Scootaloo. Considering the focus you show on Scoots drawing towards they/them, it should have been said outright, so that way both the readers and Twilight would know what Scootaloo is: a non-binary individual. The constant shortening of they/them felt a little unneeded after the first couple of instances - I get that Scoots is trying to mimic the way the dragon referred to her, but like I said before, it comes across as a name at times.
All in all, you have a really good start for a first story. I would like to see more stories with your name on it in the future, or even just this one as a multichapter version one day. Good luck!
Now if only the punk community could accept this as true. Seriously, to the vast majority out there that may be true, but it is the biggest fallacy to many punks.
As for the story itself, not bad. I wish that there had been a bit more about Scootaloo's feelings. As it stands I can't help but feel like Scoots only brushed against the topic of being someone who's non-binary, and because of that I'm left a bit wanting. Still, the way the story was written was excellent, and no matter my gripes I can't say that I disliked it at all.
I think this is one of my favorite stories so far about transness that I've read on fimfiction.net. I have to admit I wasn't entirely surprised by the happy ending, but I enjoyed seeing how Scootaloo and you get there.
As for the people who seem to have trouble understanding the story...maybe I'll PM the author with my real thoughts on that.