• Member Since 28th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Wednesday

Wintermist


Writer of long, character-driven smut of astounding filthiness, lesbian mind-control a speciality. Short-Fic Commission Slots Now Closed

Comments ( 22 )

A lovely and erotic story about my two favorite MLP girls, thank you for it! <3

Wow, must be pony Christmas here. So many story in such short time?

Well, dangit.

Not only does this fic center on torpedoing the good ship Rarijack, it's also stupidly sweet and well written and better than my own DLS contest entries. Harrumph, I say!

Also kind of fun to read a Wintermist story that's less kinky, but no less lewd, even.

That was magnificent. I am always astounded by your character work, and the way you sold their attraction for one another and brought their dynamics of life is nothing short of breathtaking. I am wholly invested in this relationship now when it wasn't even on my radar before I clicked the link. Bravo, and best of luck in the contest, though I honestly can't see any other entry beat this one.

10211176 I'm glad you enjoyed it! CelestiJack seems to be a relatively rare ship, given the paucity of fan art I could find for it, but I found the interplay of the two really fun.

10211179 I do have to acknowledge that working from home is contributing a lot to my current burst of productivity. It's my hope that once all this is over and life returns to something approaching normal, I can keep up this momentum. Writing is fun, and most fun of all when it's shared :twilightsmile:

10211316 I am sorry about sinking your favourite ship, but at least it was integral to the plot! It really shows the strength of the original characterisations that pretty much every possible pairing of the primarary characters creates a profoundly different, believable relationship. It's never just bashing interchangeable dolls together.

10211326 I'm really happy you enjoyed this piece so much. I feel like Applejack and Celestia bring out each other's competitive side, in a different way than with Rainbow; it's a way to connect, despite their wildly different social stations. Celestia is this wonderful mixture of absolute poise and devastating uncertainty once taken out of her accustomed role, and Applejack is shocked, swept away and unsure all at once. I wanted the story of their first night to be messy, to have awkward pauses, not to tie up too neatly. I believe that these two can build a relationship together, but you do have to have that uncertainty to need to believe in them, and not just factually know.

This is my favorite entry so far. Very well done, left me wanting more.

Great job!

Well... That's one way to be relatable, great content.




Now I need to go and contemplate my feelings, great characterization and I give you an up vote.

I'd honestly read an entire series of these two! Loved it so much!

I have no words for this. Magnificent. Im sold on this particular ship right now. You've outdone yourself!!
Wouldnt mind a whole akward continuation and their fights to make it work between them.
Someday, someday i hope, I really do.

I, didn't expect this. But with you, I've come to expect not to expect something so it doesn't count.

Well then, that was a ship I didn't expect, and yet it's growing on me. Definitely well done.

Celestia's first explanation to AJ made so much sense that I was convinced there had to be more of this ship out there. Unfortunately there isn't. 2 pages of results and most of them were actually TwiJack or about something else. Maybe 3 stories total and this is unquestionably the best one.

Loved it and sad I can't find more.

Sexy, romantic, quite funny in places too. Just a perfect combo.

If I ever find out who wrote that article that painted me as cake-fixated, I will banish them to the moon.

And, without knowing why, all three Cutie Mark Crusaders broke out in a cold sweat.

"So you cheat? You'd sooner cheat than lose?"
"Of course. That is why I keep winning."

This is so perfectly Celestia. Especially your Celestia.

"Yes." A wry note crept into Celestia's voice as she went on, "I've fantasised about all of Twilight's friends, but thoughts of you were the ones that lingered into sleep."

:trollestia: "The ones I remember, anyway. Luna says she purges the ones involving Pinkie Pie for all our sakes. And no, before you say anything, the reason isn't anything dessert-related."

The alicorn gasped eagerly as the fabric tore without resistance, spilling the soft roundness of her huge breasts into the open.

And at the castle, one of the brides stiffened and looked off into the distance.
"Um, Rarity?" said her wife. "You okay?'
'Somewhere, a bodice is literally being ripped."
"Okay, I think you've had enough champagne..."

Celestia blinked, then turned to look up at Applejack, seemingly at a loss for words. "You want me to help you pick apples?"

This is Applejack we're talking about. Why are you even remotely surprised?

Delightful stuff both lewd and not. Thank you for it, and good luck in the lightning round.

This is an amazing story. And maybe my favorite from the contest. I especially loved the bickering. It was hilarious.

Of course, in RL the other door often turns out to have the hungry tiger behind it. :pinkiecrazy: Thank the muses for Equestria...

Exceptional! Truly great! An interesting take on an interesting ship. Wish there was more like it!

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Nice job spreading out the exposition instead of dumping it all in the front.
-Between the crown and throne, darned if there wasn't an actual mare there that could get her feelings hurt. -- nice turn of phrase.
-A tad heavy on AJ's accent, perhaps ... but then again, she's pretty deep in the cider, so maybe it would be a bit heavier than normal.
-Delightful touch with the erotic lesbian arm wrestling, lol!
-Really wish the sex scene hadn't cut out, but then again, there is a word limit to deal with here. It does hurt the cloppability score, though.
-Absolutely incredible job of selling this unorthodox shipping pair.
-I need 100,000 words of this, and maybe Luna can come in halfway through, going after Rainbow, Fluttershy, or Pinkie. And for more conflict, maybe Twilight can go bug-eyed when she learns that Celestia was an option, which gives her mixed feelings and makes Rarity feel jealous, then hurts Twilight's feelings when she finds out Celestia would never consider her that way. Then Twilight tries to seduce Celestia anyway to prove otherwise -- it doesn't work out, but Rarity catches wind of it and gets super pissed, and then Celestia feels bad about it and tries to help them get back together, which somehow leads to Rarity and AJ getting a chance at each other... And yeah, I'll stop writing fanfic of your fic now. This review is getting really off-track.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 80/100
Allure: 99/100
Enticement: 95/100
Immersion: 98/100
Prose Quality: 96/100
Total Score: 468/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

Congratulations on winning Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
For the full results, check the Dirty Little Award Show.

This story won:

Super Secret Bonus Lightning Round!
The best clopfic primarily featuring a pairing of Celestia and one of the Mane Six, but not Twilight. You only get 10 days to write it! See this blog post for details.

This is new... I like it :pinkiecrazy:

"For now? Drinking." Celestia set her second glass aside, as empty as the first. "I presume you'd had at least one before I arrived. Do tell me if I need more to catch up."

"I'm here to get wrecked, Applejack. Perhaps in more ways than one" :trollestia:

"Fought a fair few mahself. When was the last time you beat one with your bare hands, again? Do Ah need a calendar, a history book, or are we going straight to archaeology?"

...dayum, these punches have some power :pinkiecrazy:

Then, as casually as she could manage, she reached up and took Celestia's hand.

How lewd :fluttershyouch:

Jk, great story and interesting concept, just a bit too much goddess this, divine that for me though :derpyderp2: ... oh well:pinkiecrazy:

"Oh, I have no intention of being straight with you,"

:rainbowlaugh:

This was just beautiful. Thank you.

Login or register to comment