Comments ( 65 )

Wow! That was just... wow.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'd have written this myself.

Very well done.

10140644
Glad you enjoyed it. Like I said, saw the pic, and it just made me wanna right a story based off of it.

Very nice and interesting story. While I'm more into Sparity, it was a huge pleasure to read it.

Spike sure is lucky with women.

10140763
Thanks man. I knew you’re a Sparity person, so thanks for reading it.

God freakin' damn, this was hot as hell! One of the beach sex story I've read in a long time! I was curious, what you were up to, when you're not focus on school or working on your Saiyan story! A glorious job with this one, morgan!

10140780
Yeah. Other story ideas pop into my mind and like any other author, I wanna at least start on it before I forget it.

10140787
I know the feel. Anyways, great job again with this!

Really? First day of summer and nobody else was at the beach?

Congratz, you got featured. 3/21/2020

10141057
No. It said Spike was in a secluded spot. The girls had jobs. But it says in the beginning there were gatherings around the beach. Spike just kept his distance.

Spike was cut off when Chrysalis, with her hands on his neck and the back of his head, pulled him to her and locked lips with him in a hot kiss.

Random cat: "Oooooooooooooh~"

French Narrator: Later

10141314
:rainbowlaugh: If I hadn’t written this story. That’d be my reaction too.

10141540
Considering how popular this story is getting, people might want to ask for more of this?

10142203
You asked what inspired me? Well, for one thing, I was trying to make a story for Dirty Little Secret's contest. The other is like I said, I saw the pic I used to make my cover. When I first saw it, I just couldn't believe how practically perfect it was, and since there aren't many Spike and Chrysalis stories involving anthro or human, I decided to write the story based off the pic.

10142700
Speaking of pictures, have you seen Zantyarz's human mlp art?

Also, yes I did ask that. Sorry, I saw your author note and I thought my question would be redundant.

10142859
I asked because if you like brokeCOG's art, then you'll probably like Zantyarz's too. But it's up to you if you want to check it out.

10142876
Send me a link on my profile page.

10142913
Okay, I sent you a link, as promised.

10142933
I take it back. I have seen one of his pics. And they're hot.

10142937
I thought you might like them.

10142945
You're welcome. Who knows, maybe they might inspire you too?

10142991
His Chrysalis did partially in this story.

10142993
I thought that swimsuit sounded familiar.

10143056
It wasn't just that pic. Did you check out the original picture I used to make my cover image?

10143086
Well if you look beside Chrysalis, you can see a slingshot bikini as well.

10143092
That explains a lot. Thanks for sharing this piece of trivia.

10143057
I can't seem to find it, care to give a hint please?

10143703
Click on source on my cover image.

multi-chapter sequel please?

Hope there's a bonus chapter where Chrysalis keeps Spike in her house from the start to the end of summer vacation.

10147528
Don't know if I'll do a sequel.
10148162
I'm considering doing a bonus chapter. Maybe. Depends on what I can come up with, and if it's before the judging of the contest I entered this in.

Spike is so lucky in this :twilightsmile:

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
You can also check the current ranking, thanks to garatheauthor's unofficial ranking of the scores that have been publicized so far.

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Good job drawing things out and providing lots of detail.
-At least until the anal scene, then things get a bit fast.
-A bit too obsessed with the numerical sizes of things.
-Repeated use of 'sharp ass'. What's that supposed to mean?
-Sudden ass fucking is sudden.
-Could use a bit more of a denouement.
-Honestly think it could be a stronger story if the anal scene was cut and replaced with a more extended afterglow.
-Nice to see Spike being kind of independent and adult in the beginning of this story.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 95/100
Allure: 90/100
Enticement: 30/100
Immersion: 70/100
Prose Quality: 90/100
Total Score: 375/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

10148302
Please make a sequal

10349808
Please do the story was actually really good

10350624
I'll do my best if I can.

Interesting storie I give it 10 out of 9 .
And I have some ideaer for Chatter 2 and 3 and 4

10672766
I don't know if I'll be doing a sequel for it. But if you wanna PM some ideas, go for it.

10672801
Hears 4 story idears and for sequel .
Story 1 lord beerus the great grant grandfather of luna .
Story 2 broly and cheelai the long lost brother and sister of twilight.
Story 3 goblin slayer abridged comes to equestria.
Story 4 Gine because ssj god of equestria

10672821
One of them might be happening.

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